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"You're not afraid of being around me?" I asked Tens.
"Why would I be?"
"People die around me." Okay, stating the obvious here.
"I'm not scared. Although you did just ma.s.sacre a perfectly good cup of tea."
I crossed my arms over my chest. "You're not afraid of Auntie, either."'
"She's pretty feisty. Maybe she was a serial criminal in her youth." Tens stood and walked over to me. He peered down at me.
"I'm serious." I rolled my eyes, hoping just once he'd take me seriously and not make me feel stupid.
"So am I." He shrugged, prying profoundly into me with his eyes, as if measuring my ability to handle a truth. "I saw you when I was little, before my grandfather died. And after. You're who replaced him. In my dreams."
"Huh?" This was not what I expected to hear.
"He'd told me to think about what my life as a man would be. He always tried to get me to grow up faster than I wanted. Preparing me, testing me. Making sure I was ready for you."
I got stuck on the dreaming-of-me part. "You saw me in your dreams?"
"Mmm-hmm. You were playing in a fort in your backyard. You'd poked dandelions in your 117 hair and were making up stories."
a ni *I'd always liked my make-believe world more than the real one because there was no death.
"There was a terrible commotion, a howling."
I knew what was coming next. "The mama cat, right?"
He nodded. "She crawled into your fort, birthed two kittens at your feet, and died."
Tears flooded my eyes. "The kittens were dead too. She'd been an alley cat. She didn't belong to anyone. After Dad buried her, I never went back to the fort. I thought it was haunted."
"I didn't understand it at the time, but when I woke I asked my grandfather about it."
"And he said?"
"Nothing. Not a thing. I couldn't get him to explain the dream at all. He just shook his head and smiled at me."
"Oh." Disappointed. I bit my lip and blinked at the cracked tiles on the kitchen floor.
"Where's that tea, my girl?" Auntie shuffled into the kitchen seeming even more fragile.
Tens tugged a chair out for Auntie. "You seem ready to fall over."
"Your grandfather ever tell you about his time in the army?" she asked wistfully before a cough wracked her.
"We need to get you into bed." Tens and I exchanged a glance.
"Hmm, the army, that's how we met -" A loud thump on the porch startled all of us, but it was the animal whimpering that followed that had Tens grabbing the shotgun and wrenching open the front door.
118ani *
Chapter 23.
Beware of the Aternocti -they changed my sisters forever. I do not know how, but two Fenestra I used to know as well as myself are now walking with the Destroyer as Nocti.
-Luca Lenci, b. 1750-d. 1858 "No, no, no, no, no!" I slipped on the ice and snow Custos had dragged onto the porch with her.
"Careful, Meridian. We don't know if she trusts us right now." I leaned over the injured wolf. "You trust me, don't you, girl?"' A low rumble in her belly was her only response.
"Careful." Tens kept his voice even and made slow, careful progress over to us. "Easy."
Custos whimpered and lay down on her good side, giving us a clear view of her injury. An arrow, the same kind that had accompanied the dead cat, was lodged in the meaty part of her left shoulder. She panted up at me expectantly.
I swallowed a gag. I'm not good with blood. Funny, you'd think being okay with gore would be part of the Fenestra job description.
"That's good." Tens walked wide around us to make sure no one waited nearby.
I reached out and laid the tips of my fingers against Custos's toenails. Just enough to touch, but not more than she could handle. "Why? Why would they do this?" She lifted her head and licked my hand, trying to nudge me closer.
Tens inspected her side, soothing her with his fingertips. "I don't think it's that bad a wound.
The arrow's stuck in her skin and fur, but it's running the length of her body, not puncturing any organs. Let's see if she'll go inside and then we'll clean her up. She should be okay."
"I'm not a vet -are you a vet?"
"The only vet in Revelation left when the believers gained a majority; we're the best she's got."
Why didn't that surprise me?
Custos lifted herself to her feet, keeping her weight off the left front leg as best she could.
She panted hard, her tongue lolling out of her mouth, in between boundless sighs. The crude oil of clotting blood matted her coat and dripped as she hopped toward the door.
"Help her!" Tears streamed down my face.
"We can't until she's inside and we get what we need to clean her up." Tens held the door open and motioned to me. "Go with her. Get the fire roaring, offer her fresh water. I'll bring Auntie in and then we'll get that arrow out."
119ani I nodded *I worked in a fury, placing a pillow under Custos's limp head, then blowing on the fire's last few red embers, begging them to catch. When wood crackled in the fireplace, I raced into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl of water.
Tens was settling Auntie on the sofa when I came back in.
"You should be in bed," I told her, unable to make my voice gentle.
"I'm fine, child. Feeling better already. Besides, my room is lonely and you need a guiding mind to fix up this girl. Years as a nurse have qualified me to teach you." Auntie's color was back and her eyes sparkled in the lamp light. "Tens, close that door and let's get lots of light in here." Tens left the room, silent.
"Meridian, see if Custos wants to drink. She's lost quite a bit of blood."
I knelt and held the trusting gaze of my newest friend. She lifted her head and tried to drink, but I could tell she only wanted to appease me.
"We'll try chicken broth later." Auntie said, breaking into another hacking cough.
Tens returned with the first-aid kit.
"You find the razor where I told you to check?" she asked.
"Yep." Tens lifted a straight razor from the kit.
"Good. Now, Meridian, find a large sewing needle and thick thread in my basket."
My stomach fell. Dying was almost easier to handle than the blood. "You're not -"
"No. child, you are," she said with confidence. "Sterilize the needle in the fire or the firewater -doesn't matter which."
I dug through the basket and found a needle, then held it to a match to clean it. I handed Tens the thread to dip in the alcohol.
Auntie struggled to sit up and catch her breath. "We need to get the arrow out without doing more damage. The best way to do that is to cut the skin around it just enough to remove it.
We're lucky it's right under her skin; whoever shot her had lousy aim."
I swallowed back bile, but Tens didn't seem fazed.
Auntie stopped him from shrugging out of his overcoat. "Don't remove your leather coat - it'll give you a bit of protection if she doesn't understand we're trying to help. You hold Custos's head. You're going to have to grip her so she doesn't bite Meridian."
That left me to do the cutting and st.i.tching. "I can't even quilt. You said yourself I'm a terrible sewer; I have no talent for it."
120a She shushed me. "This can be ugly and crooked and ain't n.o.body going to care. You have ni to. Now get to it."
*My hands quaked as I leaned over Custos. The only sounds in the room were the fire and her heavy panting breaths. I closed my eyes and said a quick prayer to whatever G.o.d might be listening. I didn't want to cause Custos any pain.
"Steady yourself. Meridian. Work fast, it'll hurt less. You'll need to clean the wound with the alcohol, then sew her up."'
Tens sat down and put Custos's head in his lap. He didn't take his eyes off me. "You can do this. You owe her."'
I remembered falling asleep on the hike up the hill, the pleasant feelings of warmth, Custos's growls to get me moving to the safety of the house. He was right. I owed Custos my life. Even if I sewed like s.h.i.+t and was just as likely to cut myself with the razor as her. I swallowed, trying to channel every medical television program I'd ever seen to my fingers.
Custos didn't move, other than to hold her breath through the hard parts. The cuts were easier to make than I expected because the arrow lay shallowly under her skin. I dabbed alcohol on the wound and she whined, but didn't make any moves away from me or Tens.
"Almost there." Tens nodded at me. "You're doing great."
I readied the needle and held the jagged edges of her flesh together. I sewed seven st.i.tches, smeared antibiotic cream on top of them, and placed a handful of gauze over it all.
"Here. I'll lift her and you can wrap the bandage all the way around so it's secured." Tens leaned over Custos and lifted. My hair brushed his face and his fell in mine. He smelled of pine and fir and wet dog. It made me smile.
"Done." I sat back, collapsing against the chair legs.
"Good, good." Auntie smiled. "Your grandfather would be proud, Tens. You're a good medic."
"You knew him well?" Tens seemed shocked.
Auntie chortled. "Of course I knew your grandfather. Did you think he told you to come to this place on a lark?"
"I always thought it was profound. That he wanted me in a place, not with a particular person."
"It was about the place. It was where you were meant to come next on your journey. You're from a long line of Protectors, on your mother's side. But if I correctly remember Ty's soft heart for the ladies, then I daresay he might have known about the person, too." Does she mean me? Are we destined to be together? However much I felt for Tens, the idea of predestined relations.h.i.+ps bothered me.
Tens's face flushed a breathtaking crimson and he stared down at the carpet. "Do you know anything about my parents? My father? Mother?"
121ani "No, not much, I'm sorry. Your grandfather didn't like to talk about it. Your father was an illegal immigrant from Cuba. Your mother was too young and she didn't survive childbirth."
*Auntie turned to Custos. "She'll sleep here tonight. Let's give her broth in a little while and see if we can't get her to drink it. I'm thirsty for real hot chocolate. Anyone else? Have I told you about the marshmallows my grandmother made during the winters?" Auntie's face melted into an expression of childhood bliss.
Tens jumped up, clearly ready for a change of topic. "I'll get it."
"Do you love him?" Auntie asked after he left the room, shoving her hair from her face and wiping her cheeks with the edge of a quilt.
"How do I know?" I chewed on my lip, scared to admit to feelings I wasn't completely sure of.
"It's different for everyone. For me, with Charles, it was the littlest things. I was able to live to my full potential and not ever apologize for being a Fenestra. He took my destiny in stride. Even when I wasn't able to keep my promise to him."
"What promise?" That familiar shadow in my peripheral vision hovered.
"I promised him that I'd be there when he died. That he would see heaven through me."
"You couldn't have known."
"I should have. There was a doctor with him. He said it was peaceful. But he won't be waiting for me, not after this life. I know that."
The pipe-smoke scent got stronger. "Do you smell that?"
"What, child?"
I shook my head. "Nothing, I guess."
"If you love him, if you think you love him, hang on to him. Your destinies are intertwined.
Your choices and his choices are tangled. This I do know."
"What makes you so sure?"
"Faith."