Emily The Strange_ The Lost Days Part 26

Sorry, that's what I heard. I guess he takes that game really seriously.

ME:.

Well listen. How would you like to become an honorary member of MY family?

S:.

Sure. Wait, does it involve a blood ritual?

ME:.

No. Well, that WOULD be kind of cool actually. S: Didn't I just hear you ewwing at blood rituals?

ME:.

Oh no. I was ewwing at becoming a relative of Attikol's.

S:.

Oh, right. But how come your family is allowed to learn Calamity Poker?

ME:.

Well that's a story for another time, isn't it? Anyway, I hereby declare you an honorary relative of Emma LeStrande, and of me, Earwig, whatever my last name may be, from now until eternity, across the known universe, yeah yeah yeah, so be it.

S:.

Sounds good. Now do you mind just explaining what is going on?

ME:.

You're gonna be the Dealer at a very important game of Calamity Poker. Here [handing him The LeStrande Guide to Calamity Poker The LeStrande Guide to Calamity Poker, copyright 1890, which I'd found in the secret closet], start learning the rules, I'll be back.

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Later Some stuff has happened. Major stuff. Not a lot of time right now, but am feeling the need to doc.u.ment EVERYTHING in these critical moments. Here goes.

When Molly and I got back to the El Dungeon, I told her I needed to talk to her out in the van. And when we got in there I pointed at the amnesia devices and said, "How would you like to be a completely new person for the next three months?"

MOLLY:.

[Flabbergasted.] Are you even kidding me right now?

ME:.

Amnesia device is right here, Molly. I can set it for three months. Six months, a year. Ride of your life, I guarantee it.

M:.

[Eyes totally glowing.] You are not even kidding me right now.

ME:.

Let's get your suitcases and see if you have anything that looks like my dress, huh?

It took her about half an hour to get herself outfitted into a reasonable copy of me. I trimmed her bangs. Found her a mostly blank notebook in the Dumpster near the school. And wrote her a cheat sheet. It went a little something like this: Your name is Earwig.

You have a friend named Jakey who is a for real psychic.

You have to go find his trailer and tell him what happened, which is that you fell and hit your head and started losing all your memories for the third time, so you started writing this note so you would know what to do after everything was gone.

And now everything is gone.

I figure she can let Jakey fill in the rest of the blanks for her. I just really hope that she can keep him busy while I play a quick game of Calamity Poker with Attikol.

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Later Things are moving along nicely. Made some preparations, got Raven all programmed for her role in the plan, then the cats and I went and knocked on Jakey's trailer. Boy was he surprised to see me! And even more surprised when I told him I wanted to join the medicine show. Said I'd be the crystal ball reader. Told him I'd missed him a lot-at least that part was true.

And guess what-it worked, my plan with the cats, to keep Jakey from reading my mind. I got the idea from Great-Aunt Emma's patent application for the Cat Thoughtwave Amplifier. She had found that just a small dollop of liquid black rock could amplify the thoughts of cats to the point that any ordinary human could understand them. I figured, if I cranked the volume on the cats' thoughts, they'd be so loud that Jakey wouldn't know what was really on my mind. Especially if I distracted him with stuff he really wanted to hear. Anyway, it worked! I gave the cats a good soaking in black rock and could hardly hear myself think.

I'll admit, I wasn't sure it would work. Wouldn't have taken the risk at all if I didn't think it was necessary. I thought and thought about it, and what it came down to was this: I just didn't believe Jakey would take me/Molly along with the caravan unless he'd heard it from me that I wanted to come. You know? Still, I had severe doubts about going over there. I'd even thought about wearing a cap of tinfoil. Thought very seriously about it. But in the end I didn't. I mean, either the black-rock-soaked cats would do the trick, or they wouldn't. Also, I don't know that there have been, like, a bunch of well-doc.u.mented studies showing that tinfoil is effective at blocking mental attacks or psychic leakage.

Anyway, the cats DID do the trick. Poor Jakey, he was just listening to their crazy thoughts (mostly evil intentions toward his parrot), and never noticed me lying my cheeks off. I do feel kinda bad for tricking him. Even if it's for my Destiny and all. But you know what, Molly will be a much better friend for him than I would. I can only stand human company for so long.

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He seemed so happy about me coming with them, though.

I have a feeling that's going to haunt me.

Day 30 Molly Merriweather may not be good with boredom, but at least she's up for an adventure. I had Raven drive us all out to the medicine show caravan, and then I gave Molly a nice tough case of amnesia with an expiration date of three months. That should get them far enough away. Quickly, before the dazed look in her eyes could clear up, I handed her the cheat sheet and the blank notebook, and pointed her toward Jakey's trailer.

Then I hid in the van and waited until Raven said Molly was inside. And then Raven and I went to see Attikol.

All the fas.h.i.+onistas were running around packing up their medicines, guns, dolls, crystal b.a.l.l.s, and what-have-you. General moving-day hubbub: shouts of "Pinking screamcakes!" and "Blood and Gor!" Curls was toting boxes and swearing. No Attikol (or umlaut) in sight. The bosses were apparently kicking back while the underlings broke camp. We found their trailers-not hard, they had large lurid (though partially sand-blasted) portraits of Attikol and umlaut painted on the sides-and Raven knocked on Attikol's door.

I stood beside her and kept a half-eye on Jakey's trailer. I wanted-needed-his door to stay shut.

Attikol looked uncomfortable seeing us. I guess he's not in a very good position as regards Raven right about now. Seeing as there is still a building left in its original position.

ATTIKOL:.

Raven, my darling. I was just on my way to see you.

RAVEN:.

Attikol. I know you have not yet fulfilled your challenge.

A:.

Wha...? Did you just...say a complete sentence?

R:.

Attikol, you must prove your love! You must!

A:.

Yeah, yeah, this is exciting. I've never seen you like this, darling.