The Mirrors Of Bershan: Bound Part 7

Chapter 11.

As Fay walked into the dining room, the sound of the continuing debate washed over her. She sat down as they all stopped speaking and grabbed a pastry, as well as a cup of tea. Tavis glanced up at Ki with a sour expression, but he was busy reading a sheet of paper and seemed not to notice. Eliar and Lydia were focusing on their breakfast, as if to avoid meeting Fay's eyes. She wasn't sure how to interpret the situation and waited for someone to break the silence.

"Faylanna, we appreciate the offer you've made, particularly given your feelings about Calder," Eliar began, and her heart sank. She already knew the rest, but let him continue, "but we can't put you in this kind of danger, not to mention the potential danger to everyone else if he were to use the opportunity to take you away with him. We still don't know enough about his plans to judge that risk."

"That's exactly why I offered, because we don't know enough." She paused, trying to control her own rising irritation. No one spoke, so she went on, losing her battle and hearing the anger in her voice. "So you're just going to let him do whatever he's planning? Are you going to do anything to stop him?"

"Of course we don't intend to let him continue unchecked," Eliar said stiffly. "We will find a way to discover his plan that doesn't endanger you. Tavis is right. There's a reason we went to so much trouble to get you into the city undetected. Yesterday's outing went well, but you were in company the whole time. Also, I'm sure that Calder now knows that you're in the city, even if he doesn't know where you are, and he's likely ready to take you on a moment's notice. You have no idea how badly he wants you back in his grasp, but we do."

"I don't know how badly he wants me?" Fay tossed the remains of her breakfast back down onto her plate and stood up angrily. "I had to flee Voleno and practically ride down two of the men he sent to detain me! How can you think I am unaware that his overriding desire is to see me back at Iondis?"

She glanced around the table and saw that only Ki would meet her gaze. His own was firm, unyielding, and she knew then that no argument from her would budge them. Before any of them could speak, she whirled and left the room, not even caring where she went. She pushed open the first door she came to and found herself in the kitchen. Continuing through, she went out a door that promised sunlight and air. Laid out before her was a garden, private and surrounded by a stone wall covered in trailing greenery. A burbling sound drew her along the path to a small pond fed by a cascading fountain. She lowered herself to the stone bench beside it and tried to make herself think rationally.

Why didn't they trust that she knew what she was doing? She was certain that, on his own, her father couldn't force her to do anything, no matter what they believed about this agreement he'd supposedly made. She knew she was stronger than him, something that Eliar at least had to be aware of, so she didn't understand why they refused to let her do this. She wondered if they still thought that she was like her father. They couldn't believe that she would go willingly with him even given the opportunity, not all of them. Not Tavis, certainly, she thought. A hot tear flowed down her cheek at the thought of him. The one person she had believed would understand her relations.h.i.+p with her father was standing in the way as she tried to stop him. I have to find a way, she thought, a way out of this house that they won't see. She knew the front door was out of the question. She rejected the idea of the windows in the sitting room too, and not just because that wouldn't be dignified. She was certain that they wouldn't let her near the front of the house alone. She knew too little of the house to even be sure that there was another way out besides the main doors.

Frustrated, Fay stood and walked along the path in the garden, trying to think. As the path began to loop back toward the house, she saw a break in the ivy-covered wall. Her heart nearly burst with delight as she saw a closed wooden gate blocking an arch in the stone. A glance around told her that no one could see her. She put her hand on the iron latch, which moved soundlessly, allowing her to slip out and close the gate behind her. She joined the morning traffic moving along the somewhat familiar avenue and lost herself in the crowd, happy to have found a way around them all.

She chose to go to the Messengers' Guild Hall in the Quarter of Coins for a number of reasons. The quarter was so busy during the day that she was certain she could evade the others once they realized she wasn't in the manor. Also, she would have something to do while she waited for the answer. She walked in and was greeted enthusiastically when she introduced herself. She asked for parchment and ink, then went to a table and wrote out her message.

Father, By now you have already learned that I am returned to Rianza. I need to see you. There are things you must explain to me before I can decide on a course for my future. I will not be ruled by your choices, as I have told you before, but consideration and recent events have made me decide that we must clear the air if we are to ever know each other again. Tonight, in the hour after sunset, I will meet you at mother's side. Come alone or there will be no discussion on any subject.

Faylanna She sealed the letter with a dark green wax, the color of House Derrion. Giving the message to the clerk, she explained that it was an important letter that needed to be delivered immediately. She let him know where to find her with the reply, paid him and left.

As she walked out of the Hall, she heard someone clear his throat loudly from the fountain beside the door. Turning, she saw Tavis sitting on the edge of the basin, looking at her. She froze where she was, trying to bury any feelings of guilt for sneaking away. "You can't convince me not to do this. The message is sent. He'll be there, whether he answers or not. I have to do this."

He looked up at her, his face serious. He nodded and said, "I can see that, but I want you to explain to me why. You've already had a close call with him once. And the risk of doing this without even telling us you were going, or where you're meeting him- Have you thought of what might happen if he tries to take you by force?"

Fay opened her mouth to retort that she was more than a match for her father or anyone else, but then thought better. Instead, she said, "Come with me. I don't want to have this conversation in a public square. Besides, I told them I'd be at the Velvet Voice, and I really should go straight there."

He stood up and followed after her as she threaded through the crowded square toward the building that was on the opposite corner from the Messengers' Hall. "The Velvet Voice?"

She laughed and pointed ahead of her. "That's it. It's a tavern, but it's famous in the city for the singing that goes on in the evenings. The best singers perform there, better even than you find in Fioselto. Being invited to perform at the Velvet Voice is considered a sign of a great career to come. I've seen singers come from all over the Empire for a chance to sing there." She led him to the patio that was set up against the side of the building and sat down at a table near the edge. Tavis followed suit with a raised eyebrow. She smiled. "It's too nice to sit inside, and I suspect that crowded places can be a good way to keep from being overheard. And since you're here, I guess I don't have to hide after all."

An older woman she recognized but couldn't name came over and greeted her, "Faylanna! How wonderful to see you again. Where have you been all this time? Don't tell me you abandoned us for another tavern. I'll cry."

Fay laughed. "No, I went to Voleno, to finish my studies at the academy there. It wasn't possible to come back every week to see who the latest voices were. I was desolate."

The barmaid took their order of tea and tried to coax them into something to eat, but Fay was too nervous for food and Tavis wasn't interested. He was still staring at Fay, expectant and considering at the same time.

Once the woman left, Fay looked into his eyes, tried to control the way they made her heart race and then looked down at her hands when she failed. "It's not that I haven't considered it. I just don't think he can. I know his abilities, Tavis, and I'm more than a match for him, whatever Lydia might have seen. He's never been popular among other Magicia, and I doubt his newfound talents have changed that. Most of us hate being manipulated by anyone, so I'm fairly certain he won't have competent help. Also, I told him to come alone or I won't talk to him. He wants something from me, I know it, and I'm sure he'll do as I ask if he thinks it might open the way to whatever that is."

Tavis' frown deepened. "You've told me why you think it's safe. That's not what I wanted to know, Fay. Why are you doing this? Why did you run off to do it? Why are you so set on this?"

Her eyes flashed up to his and the response burst from her lips before she had even decided if she would answer his question. "Because I have to stop him."

He nodded, as if it was what he had expected. "But why you? Eliar, Ki, my mother, they're all committed to stopping him, and they each have their reasons, I suppose. I want to know yours."

This time she didn't answer right away. Instead, she tried to sort through her ever-complicated feelings and thoughts about her father to explain it to Tavis. It felt important that he understand. "When he came to my graduation, my father asked me to come home with him. He's never asked me to do anything until now. Always before, he's either issued demands or set what he wanted in motion without bothering to let me know until it was too late to even argue. This time, it was different. I didn't really consider that until yesterday, but I think-" She drew a deep breath and forced herself to continue. "I think that whatever he's done, whatever deal he's made, in a way it was for me. I don't like it, the way he's trying to take my right to choose away from me. I wish he would accept me for who I am, and the choices I make. I wish he would stop trying to use me as a bargaining chip. But I guess none of that is the point, not to anyone but me. He's wrong, and he has to be stopped. That's the point. And I'm his daughter, so it's my responsibility to stop him. Besides, who else would he tell any of this to, if not me?"

Before Tavis could respond, a rotund man came out to the patio with a tray containing two cups. He made straight for their table and, after setting the tray down, enveloped Fay in a fierce hug, expounding on how happy he was that his Faylanna had come back at last. When Dolar finally let go of her, she saw Tavis watching her again with that same considering expression. She had to promise to come back another day to see Dolar before he would go away.

"What are you thinking, Tavis?"

He smiled and tilted his head to the side, causing his emerald eyes to sparkle in the sun. "I'm wondering why everyone except me calls you Faylanna. I haven't seen anyone call you just Fay, but that was how you introduced yourself to me. Why?"

Her answering smile was a shade uncertain. She knew he had no idea what he was really asking, and she thought she could get away with less than the painful truth about it, but decided she didn't want to lie to him, or even leave things out. Again, there was that feeling of wanting him to understand. And she realized it wasn't any more painful than the things she had already told him.

"I stopped using my full name when I was sent to Voleno. I didn't understand then why I was being transferred, and it felt like I was being sent away as punishment for something. Perhaps for being a bit arrogant about my magical abilities. I still think there are parts of the story I'm missing, but even so, I understand better now." She paused and considered. "But the experience changed how I viewed myself, and how I wanted to be viewed. Faylanna Derrion was the child of a n.o.ble with delusions of grandeur he tried to inculcate in her from early on. I didn't want to be that person, so I insisted on being called Fay when I went to Voleno. I also stopped using my t.i.tle, and my surname where I could avoid it, for the same reason. I still hate when people use either."

Tavis gave a soft laugh and she looked up at him, feeling a spike of anger shoot through her at the sound. The look on his face, bemused and sympathetic, undid her rage though. "Well, you've succeeded in your quest to be like other people. I didn't realize when we met that I was speaking with a high-born lady, and until you mentioned it just now, I forgot that you had a t.i.tle, though I've heard a couple of people use it."

She smiled at that and they moved on to other subjects. They chatted amiably about the city, with him asking questions and her answering for a while. The hours pa.s.sed more quickly than she could have imagined. They eventually ordered lunch and their conversation stretched on. It was almost mid-afternoon when a messenger stopped by the patio and handed over a folded, sealed parchment before crossing the square to the Hall. The seal was green and bore the impression of their family device, the stag and scythe from her father's ring.

She broke the seal, quickly opened it and read the contents. Sighing with relief, she looked up at Tavis. "He's agreed to the meeting tonight, and the location. He's also agreed to come alone."

He frowned down at his hands and nodded. "Were you going to go back to the manor to tell us, if I hadn't found you?"

"No, and I'm not going there now. The others won't care that the meeting is set, and I don't think they'll understand that I'm going there no matter what. They'll try to stop me, and I don't want to fight with any of them." She looked at him with an eyebrow raised. "Do you understand?"

Tavis sighed regretfully. "That you feel you have to do this? Yes, I do. And I'm just smart enough to realize I don't have a hope of stopping you. I guess you won't let me come with you either, will you?"

She shook her head. "Go back and tell them you couldn't find me."

He laughed. "I'm a terrible liar."

"Then don't go back yet. Please. It's only a couple of hours until sunset, and the meeting is shortly after that. I have to do this, Tavis, and it's hard enough without having to fight with the others about it. Please, you can't tell them about it beforehand."

Tavis stared at her for a long while and then nodded. "All right, we'll do it your way. I just hope my mother will forgive me for this." They both rose and he smiled, then said, "You look lovely today, Faylanna. I didn't get a chance to say so earlier, with everything that's been going on, and then we were busy talking, but you really do."

She was surprised at his use of her full name, trying to figure out what it might mean. She grinned at the compliment though and replied, "Thank you. Soval sent it to me. It's a wonderful gift. How he managed to fit it for me exactly without measurements, I don't know. The man is a genius with fabric."

Tavis laughed and said, "Yes, he is, but I asked him to send you the dress. I saw it on one of his mannequins downstairs when we entered the shop. It looked perfect for you."

She was rendered entirely speechless by this revelation and could only trail after Tavis with her eyes wide in shock as they left the Velvet Voice. She had no idea what to make of him, or her own feelings for him. Every time she thought she had him figured out, she learned something new that challenged what she thought. She was surprised to find she was enjoying that even more than how handsome he was.

Fay slipped her hand tentatively into his as they went down the street. They walked around the quarter, each lost in their own thoughts this time. After a while, Tavis spoke.

"Where's the meeting?" She looked at him suspiciously and he quickly said, "I thought I might at least wait somewhere nearby, maybe a couple of streets over. I just... I can't let you go entirely alone. Let me be close enough that I'll hear if you call for help. Please?"

"You won't be able to be that close. It's in another of those large public gardens I told you about, the Gardensia Memoria. The part I'm meeting him in is almost as far from the gate as you can get, and you wouldn't be able to find your way around there well enough to get to me if I called. But I- well, thank you for wanting to be there." They continued walking together, lapsing back into silence until almost sunset, when she let him escort her to the Gardensia's ornate, golden gate. He hesitated when they arrived, opening his mouth to speak, but she slipped inside without giving him the chance.

Though this Gardensia was more sober and mournful than the others in the city, it had an elegance that she had always loved. The simple lines of hedges, squares surrounded by statues and filled with benches and large trees spreading their limbs over it all had always soothed her. She had come here regularly to visit her mother during her years at the Rianza Academy and had missed that when she was in Voleno. Making her way quickly along the familiar paths, she arrived at her mother's memoria and found it deserted.

The statue hadn't changed in the years since she had last seen it. Memoria were made with magic laid into the stone as it was carved to protect it from any sort of damage. Though the square Pella Derrion occupied was small, it was set aside for her alone. This memoria was the only sign Fay had ever seen of her father's love for his wife and partner. The statue was a life-sized replica of the woman who had brought her into the world and taught her of music and dancing. It was a great sign of respect and love from those who had known her in life, as well as a demonstration of their family's wealth. Memoria came in many sizes, reflecting a complex blending of those two facets of life.

Sitting on the wide bench in front of the dancing statue whose hands were held out in front of her to clasp a large candle, she cast a flame to the wick, that the light might bring the illusion of life and warmth to the statue. "I'm sorry it's been so long, Mother. I missed you. I've been away for too long."

She had always felt self-conscious about speaking aloud to the statue, and yet it always felt right when she did so, as if her mother was really watching her from beyond the Veil of Airs and listening. But she found that she couldn't concentrate on her mother this night. Instead, her thoughts kept returning to Marcius and Tavis. She couldn't seem to sort out her feelings for either of them nor figure out how to make those feelings serve her desire for other things. "Mother, I don't know what to do, what to think. I want so much more, but what if I'm wrong? What if I do need a partner to accomplish anything of note?"

Behind her, she heard a boot scuff on the stones that paved the square. "You always did like to come here and talk to her, especially when you were troubled."

She turned on the bench and saw her father walking slowly across the square. She stood as he approached her and was glad when he stopped several paces away. "Father."

She was surprised at how unwell he looked. His eyes and face were drawn and haggard, as if he had not slept in many weeks, perhaps longer. His blond hair, the same shade as her own, was not as carefully groomed as usual, and seemed to contain more gray than she remembered. His fine clothes hung from his body and she realized that he was leaner than when she had seen him a week earlier at her graduation. He still had his cane with him, but it no longer seemed an affectation, for he leaned heavily on it, canting his body to one side.

"I must say, I was surprised to get your letter. The request to see me was... unexpected," he said, his voice quiet and exhausted.

His condition and lack of surprise that she was in the city in the first place sent the first twinges of warning through her. When she responded, she worked to keep her voice clear and even. "I need you to be honest with me, Father. I know it's something you have not done for years, but I am hoping that here, in front of Mother, with us face to face, you will for once tell me everything. Something is going on, and I know that you're involved in it. I would rather hear the whole story from you, so that I may judge what part you want me to play in your plan. I won't cooperate without that. You want something. What is it? What are you involved in?"

He gazed past her to the memoria of his dead wife, looking sad and older than she could ever remember. His eyes also showed more love for Pella than she had ever seen. He was silent for so long that she was on the verge of declaring this a waste of time and leaving when words began to pour out of him.

"I did it for you, Faylanna, though the cost was higher than I knew," he said, his voice quietly desperate. "Everything I have done was for you. You were all I had left when Pella died. You were my one joy, my only care. I wanted everything for you, the whole world, from the day you were born, even those things that might not have been mine to give. I love you. I'm not always good at making you see that, and I think Pella would be sad at how things have fallen out between us these past years, but I have always acted out of my love for you, my care. Please, trust me, my daughter."

His words did not have the effect she knew he intended. It was like a spark landing in a bed of tinder; her anger flared around the words, feeding on them, and every hurt and resentment that had built up in her during her life since her mother's pa.s.sing rushed out of her in a torrent. "Trust you? How can you even ask that, when you've not trusted me once in all of the years I've been at school? You have at every turn disrespected my choices, my decisions, and my feelings. You've treated me like your slave, a possession to be given away to whomever would bring you the things you felt our family was owed! And you dare to call that love? You didn't even trust me enough to give me a choice about what you're involved in now. You've just gone ahead and committed to something for me, on my behalf it seems, without even telling me what it is, and you just a.s.sume I'll go along with it because you tell me to trust you?"

"You need a partner, one who is worthy of you, of what you have become, Faylanna, not someone who will hold you back. You're right, there is a plan, but it is for you. Yes, I have taken it upon myself to arrange significant things in your life, but I have my reasons. You need someone who can protect-"

She rode right over his words, her fury rising further until it began to frighten her. "Why can you never accept me for who I am? Why do you always a.s.sert that I cannot be anything unless I have a partner? Everyone else has marveled at my strength, my abilities, unparalleled in history according to most, but not my father, who should be proudest of what I have accomplished. No, you always tell me that it's not enough, that I am not enough for you. Would I be enough for you, even if I went against my own wishes and took a partner? Will I ever be enough for you?"

Fay turned her back then and began to walk away, her heart racing and struggling to calm the rage that she had only suspected before now. Behind her, she heard a clatter as something fell to the stones. She turned to see her father standing bent over, one hand to his chest, and his cane lying fallen to the ground. His face was stricken and rapidly losing color. She suddenly felt guilty for the words she had spoken so heedlessly when he was obviously unwell, and it cooled her anger a little.

"It's too late," he said with an effort, his voice barely carrying to her ears. "Too late to stop, gone too far. Won't let me. Did it for you, Faylanna, can't stop..." He trailed off as he crumpled to his knees, folding forward until his head nearly touched the stones of the square but not collapsing sideways. The air around her stirred, faster with each pa.s.sing second as she to go to him, her concern suddenly outweighing the past. Then she stopped, frozen in horror as a shape straightened out of her father, a man. Marcius. He turned his blue eyes on her and took a single step out of her father, toward her. He stopped, closed his eyes and then opened them again. This time, she realized she could not see anything through him. She thought that somehow he was really there.

A shocking thrum of heat and need bolted through her in a rhythm so fierce that it nearly shook her whole body. Her last dream of him rose in her mind, his hands and mouth on her naked skin and she felt a blush rising all over her face. His satisfied smile suggested he knew what was causing it. The wind continued to build, swirling like a tempest around the square and making the branches that spread over this memoria whip around until they groaned on the verge of snapping. The candle in the memoria's hands blew out and was carried away into the storm. Fay's hair rose in the wind, streaming out in the growing gale but her eyes never left Marcius. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came to her mind. He took another step toward her, then stopped, turning to look at something. She followed his gaze to the entrance to the square.

Tavis was walking through the break in the hedges, undeterred by the rising storm. He wasn't looking at her though. His eyes were fixed on Marcius, his face determined and stern as she had never seen it before. She turned back to Marcius and saw that he returned Tavis' gaze, his own aspect a mix of amus.e.m.e.nt and understanding. After several moments, a crack of lightning split the howling of the wind around them and Marcius turned back to her. She realized then that the wind did not touch him, which meant he must still be no more than a projection. His voice spoke, firm and challenging, coming not from him but from everywhere around her, and she marveled that a mere image could display such power.

"The time is coming when you will have to make your choice, Faylanna. Or will you make it now? Will you come with me, or stay with him?"

Looking from Marcius to Tavis, she tried to understand what she wanted, when the hesitancy to consider bonding that had haunted her for years abruptly shattered. It was replaced by a sudden need to be with someone. The change and the intensity of the sensation left her breathless. She turned back to Marcius and he nodded after a moment. His voice came again, softer, his amus.e.m.e.nt clearer this time. "Perhaps this is not the time, but it's close, my sweet. I will give you time to decide. Choose wisely, Faylanna. Remember what I told you. I know you will make the right choice. I can wait, but not forever."

The image of Marcius took a further step forward, closing the distance between them. He reached out and put a hand on her cheek, cupping it. The touch set her nerves on fire in a way that reminded her again of her dream and rendered all questions of how it was possible unimportant. He smiled, and again it was as if he were reading her reactions through her thoughts. Then his face changed, rage blooming as they were forced apart. Fay could feel the s.h.i.+eld between them expanding, causing her to stumble back across the stones of the square as the wind roared around them. She glanced over and saw Tavis standing there, his face set in concentration, his hands clenched into fists at his sides, and she knew it was his s.h.i.+eld. She heard a snarl of anger and frustration and turned to see Marcius fading out. The wind around them slowed and died. Pain spread its black tendrils through her, and she felt it swallow her as one final cry of fury echoed around the square and in the darkness that claimed her.

Chapter 12.

A buzzing sound drew her out of the abyss. She became aware of light, red and diffuse. It distracted her from the angry hum as she puzzled over this, and then she realized that her eyes were closed. She opened them and the light became golden morning suns.h.i.+ne, streaming through the window. She realized that her hand was enveloped by something warm and saw long, tanned fingers wrapped around it. Tavis was sitting in a chair beside her bed. She looked around the room and they were all there. The buzzing sound that had drawn her back came from Ki and Eliar, who were arguing off to one side of the room, and she sensed the magic that kept their words indistinct to her. It seemed wrong for them to be arguing with each other, and she tried to understand what had happened. She knew she shouldn't be in bed, and that it shouldn't be morning, but didn't understand why those things were wrong. Frowning, she worked painstakingly to reconstruct her memory. At first, it wouldn't come, as if she was resisting it somewhere deep inside. Then she remembered.

Turning back to Tavis, who hadn't moved since she'd opened her eyes, she said, "You followed me."

The two men ceased arguing. They had clearly heard her despite their barrier. Ki and Eliar approached the bed. Lydia put a hand on her arm from her chair on the other side. When Fay turned to her, the expression that met her was a blend of concern and wariness.

"It's a good thing he did, too. I thought we had explained to you why we were against your idea. Now do you see why? You might have been killed, from the sound of things."

Closing her eyes and shaking her head, Fay said, "That wasn't what they wanted. My father wouldn't hurt me." Her eyes flew open. "My father! Where is he? Is he all right?"

She looked around at them, but no one spoke. She waited, worry gnawing at her, and the silence stretched out for several moments before Ki broke it.

"Faylanna, what happened?" She was surprised at how much anger she heard in his voice. It seemed wholly out of proportion with what had happened. "Why did you arrange that meeting after we specifically told you not to? Do you understand the risks you took? What if Tavis hadn't followed you there, hadn't been there to save you?" She stared at Ki as he stopped and took a deep breath. From the way his eyes closed, she thought he was trying to calm himself down.

"You don't know your father as well as you think, Faylanna," Eliar said, and she found her temper rising at the scolding tone he was using. "Surely, whatever happened, the little bit that Tavis saw and has told us of should be enough to make you see that he is not the man you once knew. In fact, I'm not sure what he is anymore."

"Tavis, how could you let her go? Why didn't you tell us what she was planning?" Ki asked, his anger flaring again.

"Ki-" Lydia began but Fay lost her temper entirely at that point.

"Don't you dare blame him for this!" she snapped, trying to sit up, though both Tavis and Lydia held her shoulders to prevent this. "I make my own choices! You're as bad as my father, telling me what to do like I'm a child. Who I can see, what I can do, what I can't do. That's my choice to make, not yours, so I made it. Tavis didn't tell you after he found me because I asked him not to. If you're going to blame someone, blame me, but don't think I'll just accept whatever you tell me, the little bits that you think I should be allowed to know or be involved in. Whether I met with my father was never your choice to make."

Everyone else was glancing from Fay to Ki as they stared at each other. Her eyes ached from the force of her own outrage, but she didn't look away. Finally, she saw some of his anger depart.

"Do you remember what happened? Tavis told us he wasn't there for much of your meeting, only the end. Tell us what happened with your father," Ki said in a calmer voice, though not the low tone he usually adopted. Fay thought she might be hearing his normal speaking voice for the first time, and it was more familiar than anything she had seen about him. She did not miss the note of command in his final sentence and wondered who he was to use it so naturally.

For a minute, she pondered this mystery, then what to tell them. Parts of what had happened were too personal for her to be comfortable to sharing, but she wasn't sure what Tavis might have already said. She explained about the argument with her father, his appearance and mental state. Knowing that Tavis would have mentioned Marcius' presence, she explained how he had come out of her father somehow. Here, she paused and decided she'd said enough. Turning to Tavis, she feigned distraction and asked, "Why did you follow me to the Gardensia? I was supposed to go alone. I told you that you couldn't come with me."

Tavis didn't speak, but looked down at his hand, still holding hers, instead. She could see that he was embarra.s.sed by the question, and she wondered how he would answer. Before he could though, Lydia asked, "Did you see what happened to Calder?"

Fay looked at her in confusion. "I- No. After Marcius touched me and Tavis cast-" She looked back at Tavis in wonder as she remembered the power of his spellwork, "cast a s.h.i.+eld, everything went black. That's the last thing I remember. Tavis, didn't you see what happened to my father?"

Before Tavis could speak, Ki responded, his voice returned to its usual low tone. "Calder hasn't been seen in the day and a half since, so far as I can tell. He missed the meeting with the Emperor we told you about. In a way that's good, because he's missed the opportunity to do whatever he might have had planned for it. My f- My feeling is that the Emperor will not grant another such audience. But it worries me at the same time. Where has he gone and why did he miss that audience? He worked for months to be granted one, so why wasn't he there for it?"

"What I would like to know, my dear, is how Marcius was able to appear to you like that. It shouldn't be possible for him, unless he's somehow escaped the Mirror in which he was imprisoned," Eliar said.

"I don't know," Fay admitted. She thought about it, tried to remember everything about that part of the encounter, but couldn't think of anything. "My father dropped his cane and his hand was at his chest when I turned around. He fell to the ground, and then Marcius stood up from where he had fallen, where he still was. It was different from-"

She had been speaking absently, lost in her recollection, and only realized in the middle of what she was saying that it was too much. Looking at Eliar and feeling Tavis' fingers stiffen around hers, she knew her slip had not gone unnoticed.

"Different from...?" Eliar prompted when she didn't finish her sentence. She could feel them all focusing on her now.

"I- I thought I must have dreamed it," she invented, trying to cover herself, knowing she would have to reveal at least some of what had happened the first time she had seen Marcius outside of her dreams. "You know I've dreamed about Marcius before, Eliar. Well, a- a couple of nights ago, I guess, I saw him here, in my room. It was after I suggested the meeting with my father. I came up to my room and was getting ready for bed, and then there was something strange in the air in the middle of the room. When it cleared up, solidified I guess, he was standing there, but then he disappeared. When I woke up, I thought I must have dreamed it, but after what I saw in the Gardensia, maybe I didn't." She closed her eyes as she finished her story, trying to make sure she had covered well enough. She wasn't entirely sure why she was lying to them about this, except that it felt right. She was sure Marcius didn't mean her any harm, and she was coming to like the way he made her feel, strong and desirable. She was sure they wouldn't understand though.

She opened her eyes when she felt the grip on her hand first tighten and then release completely. She looked at Tavis, who was now frowning at his hands in his lap. She turned to Eliar, who looked worried. "I'll have to investigate this. I don't think I've heard the like in all of my two hundred years. I must go to the Imperial Archives right away. I'd meant to before, but then this- Well, no time like the present."

He stood and left the room in a hurry. Ki stared at Fay for a minute, and she thought she read suspicion in his eyes. She shook it off, telling herself that he had no way of knowing she was holding anything back. He came around the bed and leaned down to Lydia's shoulder, whispering something that Fay thought was a request to speak with her. They both left the room. To Fay, it felt like a set up, an excuse to leave her alone with Tavis, and she wasn't sure how she felt about that. She tried to sit up again, not wanting to have this conversation lying down like an invalid, but was surprised at how weak she felt now that her anger had departed.

Tavis stood, gently helped her to sit up and then looked at her for a moment. Instead of returning to his seat, he grasped the back of the chair and moved it aside. "I'll see about having someone bring you some breakfast. You probably need something, and then you can rest."

"Wait," she said and was annoyed when he didn't sit back down or look at her. "Can you tell me anything about what you saw? Maybe something about what happened after I blacked out? What about my father, did you see what happened to him?"