Mother's Remedies Part 195

Cards and Calls.--If calling on a lady who is visiting a person who is a stranger to him, he must ask for her hostess, sending up a card for her as well as for his friend. If calling with a lady, he should wait for her to give the signal for departure.

The man who attends an afternoon tea should leave a card for each lady mentioned in the invitation, and for the host, whether the latter was present or not. He must send the same number of cards if unable to be present, enclosing them all in an envelope which fits the cards, addressing it to the hostess, and mailing it so that it will be received on the day of the function. He must call upon his hostess within two weeks after an invitation to a dinner or ball.

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In attending a tea or afternoon reception, the right-hand glove must be removed before entering the drawing room, as it is bad form to offer a gloved hand to one's hostess on such occasions.

If, when calling on a lady, another visitor arrives, the first comer must not attempt to "sit him out." He should make his adieux within a reasonable time after the second arrival, even though a friend in more intimate standing.

Bad Habits.--A man should carefully avoid mannerisms, such as twisting his mustache, fussing with his tie, fidgeting with some little article taken from a table, as a paper knife, etc. These awkwardnesses are the outcome of nervousness. He should strive at all times to be simple, at ease, and unconscious of himself. If he tries to "show off" he makes himself obnoxious.

Picking the teeth, chewing a toothpick, cleaning the finger nails in company, are gross violations of propriety.

The Car Fare Question.--A girl occasionally appeals to writers on social forms to find out when she should permit a man to pay her car fare. It is expected that he will pay for her if he is escorting her, and she should allow him to do so without comment. If they happen on the same car by chance she should pay her own fare. If the man antic.i.p.ates her, handing the change to the conductor and saying "For two," she should thank him simply and let the matter pa.s.s. Really, it is not entirely good form for a man to pay a woman's fare under such circ.u.mstances, unless she has difficulty in finding her purse, or her change. Then he may say "Allow me"

and pay for her. If she finds her money she may return the amount, and he should take it without protest.

THE ETIQUETTE OF DRESS.

"The best possible impression that you can make with your dress is to make no impression at all; but so to harmonize its material and shape with your personality that it becomes tributary in the general effect, and so exclusively tributary that people cannot tell after seeing you what kind of clothes you wear."--Holland.

MEN'S DRESS.

A man--lucky creature--is not expected to change his clothes as frequently as a woman must. He wears morning dress until dinner, unless he is to attend some afternoon function, like a wedding or a reception. Dinner is now almost universally at six or half after six o'clock. Before that hour, save in the exception noted above, he wears a business suit, a derby or "soft" hat, tan shoes if he prefers them, or laced calf-skin shoes with heavy soles. The coat may be sack or cutaway. Such an outfit is correct for traveling wear. A white s.h.i.+rt, or one of striped madras, is worn, with a white linen collar. The tie is usually a four-in-hand in some dark shade.

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The cutaway coat is correct for church wear. In summer it largely takes the place of the frock coat, which, with the silk hat, is usually "out of season," so to speak, from about the middle of May until about the same time in September. Straw or felt hats are worn.

Tweed flannel and cheviot suits are favorite summer wear for men, Flannel trousers, white with flannel s.h.i.+rt and leather belt, const.i.tute the usual wear for tennis, golf, etc., and blue cheviot or serge for yachting.

Afternoon Wear.--For formal afternoon wear the double-breasted frock coat of black worsted, with waistcoat of the same or of white duck, is reserved, dark gray pin-stripe trousers are worn with it, patent leather shoes, gray gloves, silk hat and standing linen collar. The standing collar is for formal wear. This attire is suitable for all social affairs between noon and evening.

After dinner evening clothes--the "dress suit"--are worn. This has been fully described in the chapter on wedding etiquette, under the head of correct dress.

Incongruity in Dress.--A man must avoid incongruities in dress. Tan shoes are inadmissible with formal afternoon dress. They do not accompany a silk hat. A lawn tie is never worn save with evening clothes, nor a turn-down collar with them. Gloves should be inconspicuous. A man's hands encased in bright tan gloves make one think of sugar-cured hams.

The Tuxedo is a dinner coat, hence never seen before six o'clock; it must not be worn at a theatre party, or if a man escorts ladies. It may be worn in summer at informal dinners, and at summer hotels. Silk hat, white waistcoat, or white lawn tie are not correct wear with a Tuxedo.

APPROPRIATE DRESS FOR WOMEN.

The real beauty of dress resides in being suitably gowned. Suit the attire to the time and place. Fas.h.i.+on prescribes and regulates styles; etiquette settles the appropriate garb for the occasion. Every detail, from shoes to hat, should be harmonious and suited to the occasion and consequently to the hour of the day. But how many, many violations of this rule we see!

Ostrich feathers worn with s.h.i.+rtwaists; low shoes on the street; dressy hats in the morning; jewels at breakfast--all inappropriate and unrelated!

The correct street wear in the morning in the winter is a tailored suit with medium sized hat in felt or beaver, walking shoes, and rather heavy gloves in glace kid. More elaborate suits or gowns in fine smooth cloth or velvet are worn at afternoon functions, for calling and receptions. One does not choose light or showy colors for these if she must walk or take a street car. Ostrich feathers can be worn on the velvet or satin hat that accompanies this costume, which is completed by patent leather shoes and white or pearl-gray gloves.

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When Decollete Gowns are Worn.--High-necked and long-sleeved gowns are worn at every daytime function.

At b.a.l.l.s, cotillions, formal dinners, evening parties, and in the large cities in opera boxes, decollete gowns may be worn.

No "nice" woman wears a low gown when dining at restaurant or hotel. The neck may be cut low, under a lace yoke, unlined, and the sleeves finished from the elbow with lace. Hats are worn.

One chooses a handsome velvet or other dressy material for a dinner dress, and wears with it her rarest jewels. Good taste and modesty forbid too lavish a display of shoulders. As a rule, in our average social life, the unlined lace yoke and collar and lace sleeves are preferred for dinner wear, the decollete gown being reserved for b.a.l.l.s and cotillions.

Young girls' dancing gowns are never cut very low; the "Dutch" neck and the slightly low round cut being preferred. A string of pearls, a fine gold chain and locket, or gold beads, which have been restored to favor, are the usual ornament.

For theatre wear, where one is not to occupy a box, one may wear a handsome reception gown, or a handsome bodice and skirt. s.h.i.+rt and lingerie waists are not appropriate theatre wear, unless one patronizes some second-cla.s.s house of amus.e.m.e.nt.

Wearing the Hat.--The rule to bear in mind as to the wearing of hats is this: At all daytime affairs, hats are kept on. At all evening affairs--musicales, concerts, receptions, the play, they are removed.

Tea-gowns and negligees are for the boudoir; the kimona is for the bedroom.

Gloves are removed at a luncheon or dinner. Of course they would not be kept on at a card-party or a tea. One may retain them at a stand-up supper.

Ornaments.--An abundance of ornament is in bad taste. Don't be one of the See-me-with-'em-all-on type. A cheap ornament spoils a handsome costume, better none at all; too many ornaments, even if good, look tawdry.

At a certain fas.h.i.+onable summer hotel a young woman was seen dancing in high shoes and wearing a demi-trained lingerie gown over a petticoat of ordinary walking length. She was certainly "the observed of all observers," but hardly the object of admiration.

The Debutante's Dress.--The debutante usually wears white on the occasion of her introduction to society. The material should be light and youthful--crepe de chine, some soft white silk like messaline, chiffon or organdie being the usual choice, made with high neck and long sleeves if the affair takes the form of an afternoon reception. Only a ball or cotillion permits a low gown, and then the gown is not "low" in the usual sense: it is merely cut out modestly in the neck and the sleeves are short. In the afternoon her mother, who presents her, wears a handsome reception gown; her young friends, who "a.s.sist," wear light colored, dressy gowns of chiffon, net, etc. At such an affair guests remove wraps but retain hat and gloves.

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Dressing on a Modest Allowance.--The woman who wishes to be well dressed but must produce that effect on a moderate allowance, must be particularly careful in her purchases. She should confine herself to two colors, of which black will be one. She must choose conservative styles as well as colors, and above all, she must study very closely the relations.h.i.+p of her purchases in order to avoid incongruities. A hat may be beautiful and becoming and within her means, yet a very unwise purchase because it will not harmonize with or be suited to the costume with which it is to be worn.

Neat gloves and good shoes are items of dress not to be disregarded by the woman who wishes to look well dressed. Shabby gloves are ruinous to a well-dressed appearance.

DRESS FOR ELDERLY WOMEN.

The woman who has been "dressy" in her youth must curb her fancy as she grows older, and carefully avoid things that are "too young" for her. She may "love pink" or pale blue, and because she could wear it when a girl, unwisely clings to it in her fifth and sixth decades. A bedizened old woman dressed in a fas.h.i.+on suitable for one twenty years younger, is a sight more pitable than admirable. She must not permit the milliner or costumer to convince her that she is still young enough to "wear anything"

but must try to have sense enough to distinguish what is suitable from what appeals to her because she would have looked well in it in her youth.

Ermine furs, for instance, are absurd on a woman of forty-five or fifty.