Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki And His Years Of Pilgrimage Part 15

He shut his eyes and gave himself over to the tones of the accordion. The monotonous melody wended its way through the noisy voices and reached him, like a foghorn, nearly drowned out by the cras.h.i.+ng of the waves.

He drank only half the wine, left some bills and coins on the table, and got up. He dropped a euro coin in the hat in front of the accordion player and, following what others had done, patted the head of his dog. As if it were pretending to be a figurine, the dog didn't react. Tsukuru took his time walking back to the hotel. He stopped by a kiosk on the way, and bought mineral water and a more detailed map of southern Finland.

In a park in the middle of the main boulevard, people had brought chess sets and were playing the game on raised, built-in stone chessboards. They were all men, most of them elderly. Unlike the people back in the pizzeria, they were totally quiet. The people watching them were taciturn as well. Deep thought required silence. Most of the people pa.s.sing by on the street had dogs with them. The dogs, too, were taciturn. As he walked down the street, he caught the occasional whiff of grilled fish and kebabs. It was nearly 9 p.m., yet a flower shop was still open, with row upon row of colorful summer flowers. As if night had been forgotten.

At the front desk he asked for a 7 a.m. wake-up call. Then a sudden thought struck him. "Is there a swimming pool nearby?" he asked.

The desk clerk frowned slightly and thought it over. She then politely shook her head, as if apologizing for some shortcoming in her nation's history. "I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid there is no swimming pool nearby."

He went back to his room, drew the heavy drapes to block out the light, undressed, and lay down in bed. Yet still the light, like an old memory that can't easily be erased, snuck into the room. As he stared at the dim ceiling he thought how strange it was for him to be here in Helsinki, not Nagoya, going to see Kuro. The uniquely bright night of northern Europe made his heart tremble in an odd way. His body needed sleep, but his mind, at least for a while, sought wakefulness.

And he thought of s.h.i.+ro. He hadn't dreamed of her in a long time. He thought of those erotic dreams, where he came violently inside her. When he woke up afterward and rinsed out his s.e.m.e.n-stained underwear in the sink, a complex mix of emotions always struck him. A strange mix of guilt and longing. Special emotions that arise only in a dark corner unknown to other people, where the real and the unreal secretly mingle. Curiously enough, he missed these feelings. He didn't care what kind of dream it was, or how it made him feel. He wanted only to see s.h.i.+ro once more in his dreams.

Sleep finally took hold of him, but no dreams came.

The wake-up call came at seven, rousing him from sleep. He'd slept long and deeply, and his whole body felt pleasantly numb. He showered, shaved, and brushed his teeth, the numbness still with him. The sky was overcast, with a thin layer of clouds, but rain seemed unlikely. Tsukuru dressed, went down to the hotel restaurant, and had a simple buffet breakfast.

He arrived at Olga's office after nine. It was a cozy little office, halfway up a slope, with only one other person working there, a tall man with bulging, fishlike eyes. The man was on the phone, explaining something. The wall was covered with colorful posters of scenic spots in Finland. Olga had printed out several maps for Tsukuru. The Haatainens' cottage was in a small town a short way down the lake from Hameenlinna, the location of which she'd marked with an X. Like some long ca.n.a.l, the narrow, meandering lake, gouged out by glaciers tens of thousands of years ago, seemed to go on forever.

"The road should be easy to follow," Olga said. "Finland's not like Tokyo or New York. The roads aren't crowded, and as long as you follow the signs and don't hit an elk, you should be able to get there."

Tsukuru thanked her.

"I reserved a car for you," she went on. "A Volkswagen Golf with only two thousand kilometers on it. I was able to get a bit of a discount."

"Thank you. That's great."

"I pray everything goes well. You've come all this way, after all." Olga smiled sweetly. "If you run into any problems, don't hesitate to call me."

"I won't," Tsukuru said.

"Remember to watch out for elk. They're pretty dumb beasts. Be sure not to drive too fast."

They shook hands again and said goodbye.

At the car rental agency he picked up the new, navy-blue Golf, and the woman there explained how to get from central Helsinki to the highway. It wasn't especially complicated, but you did have to pay attention. Once you got on the highway, it was easy.

Tsukuru listened to music on an FM station as he drove down the highway at about one hundred kilometers an hour, heading west. Most of the other cars pa.s.sed him, but he didn't mind. He hadn't driven a car for a while, and here the steering wheel was on the left, the opposite of j.a.pan. He was hoping, if possible, to arrive at the Haatainens' house after they'd finished lunch. He still had plenty of time, and there was no need to hurry. The cla.s.sical music station was playing a gorgeous, lilting trumpet concerto.

There were forests on both sides of the highway. He got the impression that the whole country was covered, from one end to the other, by a rich green. Most of the trees were white birch, with occasional pines, spruce, and maples. The pines were red pines with tall, straight trunks, while the branches of the white birch trees drooped way down. Neither was a variety found in j.a.pan. In between was a sprinkling of broadleaf trees. Huge-winged birds slowly circled on the wind, searching for prey. The occasional farmhouse roof popped into view. Each farm was vast, with cattle grazing behind fences ringing gentle slopes. The gra.s.s had been cut and rolled into large round bundles by a machine.

It was just before noon when he arrived in Hameenlinna. Tsukuru parked his car in a parking lot and strolled for fifteen minutes around the town, then went into a cafe facing the main square and had coffee and a croissant. The croissant was overly sweet, but the coffee was strong and delicious. The sky in Hameenlinna was the same as in Helsinki, veiled behind a thin layer of clouds, the sun a blurred orange silhouette halfway up the sky. The wind blowing through the town square was a bit chilly, and he tugged on a thin sweater over his polo s.h.i.+rt.

There were hardly any tourists in Hameenlinna, just people in ordinary clothes, carrying shopping bags, walking down the road. Even on the main street most of the stores carried food and sundries, the kind of stores that catered to locals or people who lived in summer cottages. On the other side of the square was a large church, a squat structure with a round, green roof. Like waves on the sh.o.r.e, a flock of black birds busily fluttered to and from the church roof. White seagulls, their eyes not missing a thing, strolled along the cobblestones of the square.

Near the square was a line of carts selling vegetables and fruit, and Tsukuru bought a bag of cherries and sat on a bench and ate them. As he was eating, two young girls, around ten or eleven, came by and stared at him from a distance. There probably weren't many Asians who visited this town. One of the girls was tall and lanky, with pale white skin, the other tanned and freckled. Both wore their hair in braids. Tsukuru smiled at them.

Like the cautious seagulls, the girls warily edged closer.

"Are you Chinese?" the tall girl asked in English.

"I'm j.a.panese," Tsukuru replied. "It's nearby, but different."

The girls didn't look like they understood.

"Are you two Russians?" Tsukuru asked.

They shook their heads emphatically.

"We're Finnish," the freckled girl said with a serious expression.

"It's the same thing," Tsukuru said. "It's nearby, but different."

The two girls nodded.

"What are you doing here?" the freckled one asked, sounding like she was trying out the English sentence structure. She was probably studying English in school and wanted to try it out on a foreigner.

"I came to see a friend," Tsukuru said.

"How many hours does it take to get here from j.a.pan?" the tall girl asked.

"By plane, about eleven hours," Tsukuru said. "During that time I ate two meals and watched one movie."

"What movie?"

"Die Hard 12."

This seemed to satisfy them. Hand in hand, they skipped off down the square, skirts fluttering, like little tumbleweeds blown by the wind, leaving no reflections or witticisms about life behind. Tsukuru, relieved, went back to eating his cherries.

It was one thirty when he arrived at the Haatainens' summer cottage. Finding it wasn't as simple as Olga had predicted. The path leading to the cottage could barely be called a road. If a kind old man hadn't pa.s.sed by, Tsukuru might have wandered forever.

He had stopped his car by the side of the road and, Google map in hand, was unsure how to proceed, when a tiny old man on a bicycle stopped to help. The old man wore a well-worn cloth cap and tall rubber boots. White hair sprouted from his ears, and his eyes were bloodshot. He looked as if he were enraged about something. Tsukuru showed him the map and said he was looking for the Haatainens' cottage.

"It's close by. I'll show you." The old man spoke first in German, then switched to English. He leaned his heavy-looking bicycle against a nearby tree and, without waiting for a reply, planted himself in the pa.s.senger seat of the Golf. With his h.o.r.n.y fingers, like old tree stumps, he pointed out the path that Tsukuru had to take. Alongside the lake ran an unpaved road that cut through the forest. It was less a road than a trail carved out by wheel tracks. Green gra.s.s grew plentifully between the two ruts. After a while this path came to a fork, and at the intersection there were painted nameplates nailed to a tree. One on the right said Haatainen.

They drove down the right-hand path and eventually came to an open s.p.a.ce. The lake was visible through the trunks of white birches. There was a small pier and a mustard-colored boat tied up to it, a simple fis.h.i.+ng boat. Next to it was a cozy wooden cabin surrounded by a stand of trees, with a square brick chimney jutting out of the cabin roof. A white Renault van was parked next to the cabin.

"That's the Haatainens' cottage," the old man intoned solemnly. Like a person about to step out into a snowstorm he made sure his cap was on tight, then spit a gob of phlegm onto the ground. Hard-looking phlegm, like a rock.

Tsukuru thanked him. "Let me drive you back to where you left your bicycle. I know how to get here now."

"No, no need. I'll walk back," the old man said, sounding angry. At least that's what Tsukuru imagined he said. He couldn't understand the words. From the sound of it, though, it didn't seem like Finnish. Before Tsukuru could even shake his hand, the man had gotten out of the car and strode away. Like the Grim Reaper having shown a dead person the road to Hades, he never looked back.

Tsukuru sat in the Golf, parked in the gra.s.s next to the path, and watched the old man walk away. He then got out of the car and took a deep breath. The air felt purer here than in Helsinki, like it was freshly made. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves of the white birches, and the boat made an occasional clatter as it slapped against the pier. Birds cried out somewhere, with clear, concise calls.

Tsukuru glanced at his watch. Had they finished lunch? He hesitated, but with nothing else to do, he decided it was time to visit the Haatainens. He walked straight toward the cottage, trampling the summer gra.s.s as he went. On the porch, a napping dog stood up and stared at him. A little long-haired brown dog. It let out a few barks. It wasn't tied up, but the barks didn't seem menacing, so Tsukuru continued his approach.

Probably alerted by the dog, a man opened the door and looked out before Tsukuru arrived. The man had a full, dark blond beard and looked to be in his mid-forties. He was of medium height, with a long neck and shoulders that jutted straight out, like an oversized hanger. His hair was the same dark blond and rose from his head in a tangled brush, and his ears stuck out. He had on a checked short-sleeved s.h.i.+rt and work jeans. With his left hand resting on the doork.n.o.b, he looked at Tsukuru as he approached. He called out the dog's name to make it stop barking.

"h.e.l.lo," Tsukuru said in English.

"Konnichi wa," the man replied.

"Konnichi wa," Tsukuru replied. "Is this the Haatainens' house?"

"It is. I'm Haatainen. Edvard Haatainen," the man replied, in fluent j.a.panese.

Tsukuru reached the porch steps and held out his hand. The man held his out, and they shook hands.

"My name is Tsukuru Tazaki."

"Is that the tsukuru that means to make things?"

"It is. The same."

The man smiled. "I make things too."

"That's good," Tsukuru replied. "I do too."

The dog trotted over and rubbed its head against the man's leg, and then, as if it had nothing to lose, did the same to Tsukuru's leg. Its way of greeting people, no doubt. Tsukuru reached out and patted the dog's head.

"What kind of things do you make, Mr. Tazaki?"

"I make railroad stations," Tsukuru said.

"I see. Did you know that the first railway line in Finland ran between Helsinki and Hameenlinna? That's why the people here are so proud of their station. As proud as they are that it's the birthplace of Jean Sibelius. You've come to the right place."

"Really? I wasn't aware of that. What do you make, Edvard?"

"Pottery," Edvard replied. "Pretty small scale compared to railroad stations. Why don't you come in, Mr. Tazaki."

"Aren't I bothering you?"

"Not at all," Edvard said. He held his hands wide apart. "We welcome anyone here. People who make things are all my colleagues. They're especially welcome."

No one else was in the cabin. On the table sat a coffee cup and a Finnish-language paperback left open. He seemed to have been enjoying an after-lunch cup of coffee while he read. He motioned Tsukuru to a chair and sat down across from him. He slid a bookmark into his book, closed it, and pushed it aside.

"Would you care for some coffee?"

"Thank you, I would," Tsukuru said.

Edvard went over to the coffee maker, poured steaming coffee into a mug, and placed it in front of Tsukuru.

"Would you like some sugar or cream?"

"No, black is fine," Tsukuru said.

The cream-colored mug was handmade. It was a strange shape, with a distorted handle, but was easy to hold, with a familiar, intimate feel to it, like a family's warm inside joke.

"My oldest daughter made that mug," Edvard said, smiling broadly. "Of course, I'm the one who fired it in the kiln."

His eyes were a gentle light gray, well matched to his dark blond hair and beard. Tsukuru took an immediate liking to him. Edvard looked more suited to the forest and lakeside than to life in the city.

"I'm sure you came here because you needed to see Eri?" Edvard asked.

"That's right, I came to see Eri," Tsukuru said. "Is she here now?"

Edvard nodded. "She took the girls for a walk after lunch, probably along the lake. There's a wonderful walking path there. The dog always beats them home, so they should be back soon."

"Your j.a.panese is really good," Tsukuru said.

"I lived in j.a.pan for five years, in Gifu and Nagoya, studying j.a.panese pottery. If you don't learn j.a.panese, you can't do anything."

"And that's where you met Eri?"

Edvard laughed cheerfully. "That's right. I fell in love with her right away. We had a wedding ceremony eight years ago in Nagoya, and then moved back to Finland. I'm making pottery full time now. After we got back to Finland, I worked for a while for the Arabia Company as a designer, but I really wanted to work on my own, so two years ago I decided to go freelance. I also teach at a college in Helsinki twice a week."

"Do you spend all your summers here?"

"Yes, we live here from the beginning of July to the middle of August. There's a studio nearby I share with some friends. I work there from early morning, but always come back here for lunch. Most afternoons I spend with my family. Taking walks, reading. Sometimes we go fis.h.i.+ng."

"It's beautiful here."

Edvard smiled happily. "Thank you. It's very quiet, and I can get a lot of work done. We live a simple life. The kids love it here too. They enjoy the outdoors." Along one of the white stucco walls was a floor-to-ceiling wooden shelf lined with pottery he'd apparently made himself, the only decoration in the room. On another wall hung a plain round clock, a compact audio set and a pile of CDs, and an old, solid-looking wooden cabinet.

"About 30 percent of the pottery on those shelves was made by Eri," Edvard said. He sounded proud. "She has a natural talent. Something innate. It shows up in her pottery. We sell our work in some shops in Helsinki, and in some of them, her pottery's more popular than mine."

Tsukuru was a little surprised. This was the first he had ever heard that Kuro was interested in pottery. "I had no idea she was into pottery," he said.

"She got interested in it after she turned twenty, and after she graduated from college she went back to school, at the Aichi Arts College, in the industrial arts department."

"Is that right? I mostly knew her when she was a teenager."

"You're a friend from high school?"

"Yes."

"Tsukuru Tazaki." Edvard repeated the name, and frowned, searching his memory. "You know, I do remember Eri talking about you. You were a member of that really good group of five friends. Is that right?"

"Yes, that's correct. We all belonged to a group."

"Three of the people from that group attended our wedding ceremony in Nagoya. Aka, s.h.i.+ro, and Ao. I believe those were their names? Colorful people."

"Yes, that's right," Tsukuru said. "Unfortunately I wasn't able to attend the wedding."

"But now we're able to meet like this," he said with a warm smile. His long beard fluttered on his cheeks like the intimate flickering of a campfire flame. "Did you come to Finland on a trip, Mr. Tazaki?"

"I did," Tsukuru replied. Telling the truth would take too long. "I took a trip to Helsinki and thought I'd take a side trip and see Eri, since I haven't seen her in a long time. I'm sorry I couldn't get in touch ahead of time. I hope I'm not inconveniencing you."