Forbidden Knowledge Part 21

So what exactly is a supervolcano? Just picture a volcano with 10,000 times the explosive force of Mount St. Helens. And unlike Mount Fuji, supervolcanoes aren't available in nice cone shapes. Rather, these extreme volcanoes form in depressions called calderas, where the magma gets so thick that gas can't escape. The pressure keeps building and building until all h.e.l.l literally breaks loose. We have our very own supervolcano (U-S-A! U-S-A!) under Yellowstone National Park. The entire park. In fact, the caldera under Yellowstone is so big4,000 square kilometersno one knew it was there until satellite images told us so. By all estimates, it erupts about every 600,000 years, and the last eruption was 640,000 years ago. We're due. So what happens if it blows? The last eruption of a supervolcano was at Lake Toba in Sumatra 75,000 years ago. So much ash was released into the atmosphere that the sun was blocked out, the global temperature dropped 21 degrees, and three-quarters of all plant life in the Northern Hemisphere died. Ice age, anyone? Hopeful geologists contend that we may be saved by the venting that occurs at Yellowstone through geysers like Old Faithful, relieving a bit of pressure from the caldera. Let's hope they're right.

_07:: Better Disasters through Science: The China Syndrome OK, so it's not technically a purely natural disaster. But it involves a lot of physics and stuff, and it would certainly cause one heck of a natural disaster. The name (from the film The China Syndrome of 1979, the same year as the Three Mile Island snafu) comes from the theory that, in the event of a meltdown, molten nuclear material would be so hot that it would melt all the way through the earth and come out in China. Of course, we all know that's just plain silly. But experts do tell us that a melting reactor core would be able to sink about 15 meters into the earth's crust, at which point it would hit the water table. The resulting ma.s.sive release of hot steam would then throw the material back out of the earth with tremendous force, causing the radioactive fallout to be spread across an even wider area. Feel any better about it? We certainly don't.

Touch of Evil "Typhoid Mary" Mallon wasn't quite the walking natural disaster she was made out to be. Although she did spread typhoid to 33 known victims, only three of those died from the disease. The 1903 spread of typhoid through New York was caused by several different carriers.

3 Leaders Who Murdered Family Members

to Get Ahead

Sometimes pa.s.sive aggression will only get you so far. But is straight aggression really the key? Hey, sometimes you've got to get a head to get ahead. The following are three achievers who'd kill for their relatives' jobs.

_01:: Attila the Hun Gives Brother Bleda the Ax When Rua, king of the Huns, died in 434 he left an empire to be coruled by his nephews Bleda and Attila. At first the brothers made a good team, negotiating a new treaty in which they agreed not to attack the Eastern Roman Empire (the part that became the Byzantine Empire, based in Constantinople) in exchange for a fee: an annual 700 pounds of gold. Not a bad deal, since it was twice what the Eastern Romans had been paying Uncle Rua. But when Constantinople failed to fork over the protection money, Attila attacked. On his rampage, the Hun destroyed every town and city (including Belgrade) along his way in a succession of battles that devastated the Eastern Roman forces. Finally, Constantinople cried "uncle" and in 443 the city agreed to pay the Huns 6,000 pounds of gold in a lump sum and to triple the annual tribute. Perhaps all the success went to Attila's head because two years later he murdered brother Bleda and took over as sole ruler of the Huns. Why kill Bleda? Historians aren't sure, but it's likely that with all the loot coming his way, Attila wasn't big on sharing.

_02:: Enrique the Fratricide Takes It to Pedro the Cruel Born in 1334, Enrique de Trastamara was the illegitimate son of Alfonso XI, king of Castile (before Castile became part of a unified Spain). Of course the illegitimate bit brought up a legit concern: the issue of the crown. When half brother Pedro succeeded Alfonso on the throne, it didn't sit so well with little Enrique. With reinforcements from France, he invaded Castile in 1366 and took over, getting himself crowned king. But Pedro, known as "the Cruel," wasn't easily shoved aside. Securing help from England and, with Edward the Black Prince in his corner, Pedro regained the upper hand in a bitter civil war. So, Enrique responded. Rounding up even more French, he captured his brother, then personally murdered him (no one's sure how, exactly) on March 23, 1369. As Enrique II, he became known as El de las Mercedes ("He of the Largess") for awarding a new cla.s.s of n.o.ble t.i.tles (with estates included) to his loyal followers. Those still loyal to Pedro's line, however, called the new king Enrique el Fratricida ("Henry the Fratricide") or simply El b.a.s.t.a.r.do.

_03:: Richard III Snuffs His Nephew When England's Edward IV died in the spring of 1483, his brother Richard, duke of Gloucester, was appointed protector of the realm. That's because old Eddie's son, the new king Edward V, was only 12. Not only did Richard chafe at the idea of doing Ed V's job, but he didn't get along with brother Ed Sr.'s widow, Elizabeth Woodville. In fact, he thought she and her family had become too powerful, so he arrested and executed a bunch of Woodvilles and locked up his two nephews, young Edward V and Eddie's nine-year-old brother. Then he got priests to annul his brother's marriage to Elizabeth, which unseated her son Eddie as king. Guess who took the throne in the boy's stead. In August of that same year, the two little princes disappeared. n.o.body knows for sure what Richard III did with them, but in 1674 workmen repairing a stairway at the Tower of London discovered the bricked-in skeletons of two boys.

4 Animals Subject to 'Roid Rage The hormone hydroxy steroid ketonebetter known as testosteroneis considered the biological font of maleness. And though it's often linked to muscle-headed gym dwellers, the hormone/drug actually works in pretty mysterious ways when it comes to aggressive behavior. From elephants to monkeys to the tremendously masculine antbird, check out what too much "juice" does to creatures with slightly larger brains.

_01:: Musth You Be So Aggressive?

In 1995, rangers at South Africa's Pilanesberg National Park began finding dead rhinos, brutally battered and mutilated. An investigation was launched, and it led them to a surprising realization: that the raucous culprits behind the beatings were actually teenage bull elephants. Many of the thuggish elephants were turning increasingly violent, and had added rhino murder to their rap sheets. But why all the charges? Apparently, the young bulls were entering a period known as musth, or heightened aggression related to mating, at a younger age and for longer periods than normal for teens. Wildlife biologists realized that the youngsters in the parkpopulated by relocated animalslacked the biological and social structure they needed. When a few older, and perhaps wiser, bulls were added to the park, it forced the young'uns to return to their place in the elephant hierarchy. But not only did the adult supervision give them a bit of social order; it actually repressed the teens' testosterone levels, delaying and shortening musth. The elephant-on-rhino crimes stopped soon after.

A Row Is a Row Is a Row THE CAMPBELLS AND THE MACDONALDS.

In the Ring: In one corner we have Clan MacDonald, descendents of half-Viking warrior Somerled and hereditary lords of the western Highlands and isles of Scotland. In the other there's Clan Campbell, lords of Argyll and pets of the Scottish kings, rightful or not.

Round 1: Early 1300s. Robert the Bruce makes his play for the Scottish throne, supported by the Campbells. The MacDonalds (mostly, except for one smart son) support the other claimant, John Comyn. Bruce wins. MacDonalds rebel and lose their lands, many of which are given to the Campbells.

Round 2: 1692, Glencoe. After adhering to the laws of hospitality and sheltering several Campbells through a winter storm, 38 men, women, and children of the MacDonald Clan are ma.s.sacred by their guests. Three MacDonald chieftains escape to spread news of the ma.s.sacre and carry on the hatred.

Round 3: The Jacobite Rising of 1745. The MacDonalds are Jacobites (supporters of Catholic claimant Charles Edward Stuart, or "Bonnie Prince Charlie"). The Campbells fight alongside the redcoats of the earl of c.u.mberland, son of King George II. The two forces meet outside Inverness on April 16, 1746, at the Battle of Culloden. The exhausted Jacobites are driven off and all the wounded are slaughtered, many by the Campbells, while the fugitive prince is secreted "over the sea to Skye" by the brave Flora MacDonald. Punitive laws soon put an end to the Highland way of life.

Last Laugh: To this day, some descendents of Clan MacDonald refuse to eat Campbell's soup.

_02:: Fight Winner Gets (Monkey) Girl and a Hormone High Surprisingly enough, scientists have measured the testosterone in rhesus macaque monkeys before and after a fight, and found that testosterone levels don't necessarily trigger violence. What they did find, however, was that aggression and violence definitely affect testosterone levels. For instance, if a male macaque sees an attractive, approachable female, his testosterone spikes. Then, if another male challenges monkey number one for that female, both will experience a sudden surge of testosterone. After the juices have been flowing for a while, and the fight's gone a few rounds (by the way, macaques have long, sharp canine teeth, so things can get pretty ugly), the winner's testosterone level will remain high. In fact, it might even rise higher than during the fight and stay high for 24 hours. The testosterone level in the loser, on the other hand, plummets and stays low for a much longer period.

_03:: Homebody Birds Rise to Testosterone Challenge In migrating birds, the testosterone level is rather lowat baselineexcept in the spring when the birds settle into new territories and compete for, well, chicks. On the other hand, testosterone levels of birds that don't migrate rise less, spiking only during their short mating season. But in at least one case of nonmi-grating aves, the spotted antbirds of the Panama rainforest, males can actually raise their testosterone levels in the off-season when they need to be aggressive against territorial invaders. In fact, the sight or sound of an intruderor even a tape of an intruder's song, played by scientistswill cause the antbird's testosterone levels to spike, and for a short period he'll become aggressive. Even odder than that: Though his gonads manufacture the hormone, they won't "come to life" s.e.xually until the correct season.

_04:: "Bad Dad" Hormone Gets Bad Rap What makes male mice go so bad that they need to attack and kill their own young? Strangely, it's not excess testosterone, but another steroid hormone, progesterone. Although essential to the female reproductive system, and present in both males and females, progesterone hadn't been thought to play much of a role in male chemistry. That's because females produce it in much greater volume, as they do estrogen. In 2003, however, scientists in the United States and Canada used both genetic manipulation and drugs to block progesterone receptors in otherwise normal male mice. The results were shocking. Instead of being aggressive, the male mice no longer attacked their young but actually acted tenderly toward them. The results are even more amazing when you consider that three-quarters of a control group of daddy mice killed their own babies, making a strong argument that papas and progesterone just don't mix that well.

Anger from Above:

7 G.o.ds of War

In many religions, especially some of the older ones, G.o.ds tend to specialize. The following deities cornered their respective markets in anger, vengeance, and aggression.

_01:: Huitzilopochtli: You Gotta Have Hearts According to Aztec legend, Huitzilopochtli's 401 older siblings tried to kill him, but the clever G.o.d turned the tables on them and wiped 'em out with his weapon of choice, the xiuhcoatl (or for those of you who don't speak Aztec, a turquoise snake). Represented either as a hummingbird or as a warrior with armor and helmet made of hummingbird feathers (not exactly bulletproof), Huitzilopochtli was both G.o.d of the sun and the G.o.d of war. As such, Aztecs believed that he needed a steady diet of human heartspreferably of the warrior varietyand human blood. In fact, the need to feed Huitzilopochtli fueled the Aztecs' ambition, and increased their urgency for fighting and conquering other peoples.

_02:: Ishtar: Not Just the G.o.ddess of Box Office Death Bizarrely enough, Babylon's G.o.ddess of s.e.xual love, fertility, and plenty was also a princ.i.p.al G.o.ddess of war. Known by the Sumerians to the west as Inanna, Ishtar became one of the most complex and contradictory deities in the pantheon of the ancient Middle Eastrepresenting both rejoicing and grief, harvest and devastation. Ishtar also doubled as protector of prost.i.tutes (who probably worked in her temples), and is identified with Astarte, the G.o.ddess of war and s.e.xual love wors.h.i.+ped by the Egyptians, Canaanites, and Hitt.i.tes (a long-ago civilization in what later became part of Turkey). Needless to say, the G.o.ddess had nothing to do with the 1987 movie flop that bears her name...unless perhaps she put a curse on it? How else can you explain the eerie flop of a big-budget buddy pic starring Warren Beatty and Dustin Hoffman?

_03:: Ares: No Dog's Best Friend Although fiercely warlike, ancient Greeks rarely held Ares, G.o.d of war, in high regard. Sure, the guy represented brutality and slaughterthe spirit of war at its most savage. But as an Olympianthat is, among the inner circle of h.e.l.lenic deitieshe was disliked by his divine peers and even his dad, the great Zeus. So, why the lack of love? Whenever Ares was wounded in battle, he'd come running to Daddy to fix things (mainly bones). And while his pops wasn't always supportive, Ares' sister Eris (Strife) and sons Phobos (Panic) and Deimos (Annihilation) stuck by him. All that isn't to say that Ares didn't have any earthly followers: he was most popular in Thrace, a region to the north of the Greek peninsula. The so-called wors.h.i.+p, however, was an SPCA nightmare, as Spartans annually slaughtered dogs in sacrifice to him.

_04:: Mars: The G.o.d of Rome Improvement Unlike Ares, Mars, G.o.d of war, carried more clout among Romans than his counterpart had in Greece. According to one story, Romulus, the founder of Rome, was a son of Mars. As such, the fierce battle G.o.d was seen as protector of Rome, and the month named for him, March, was festival time, as well as the time to prepare for battle. (Fighting tended to die down over the winter and resume again in spring.) The Mars fan club didn't end with the early Romans, though. In the time of Augustus (around 1 CE) Mars came to be considered avenger of the murdered dictator Julius Caesar (Augustus's great-uncle), and the war G.o.d's prominence continued to grow through the early Common Era.

_05:: Tr: The Sound of One Hand Pounding The old Norse G.o.d Tr governed rules of battle, oaths, alliances, and even treaties. And he did it all with an iron fist...but just one of them. According to legend, Tr placed his hand in the mouth of Fenrir, a sort of monster-wolf, as a gesture of good faith. Then other G.o.ds tied down Fenrir so he could rampage no more. When the wolf realized he'd been duped into being docile for the purposes of being tied down, he retaliated by biting off Tr's hand. Of course, Tr's image changed from people to people. As envisioned by the Goths, barbarians who were originally from southern Scandinavia but later spread southward, Tr wasn't just one-handed but also one-armed. As such, after a battle, the Goths would hack off the arms of enemy dead and suspend them from tree branches in tribute to their one-armed G.o.d. The practice was also pretty effective for terrifying the surviving enemy. While he isn't wors.h.i.+ped with the same vigor today, Tr does live on via the calendar, as Tuesdays (Tsdagr in Norse) are named for him.

_06:: Skanda: Six Heads Are Fiercer Than One For early Hindus, the thunder G.o.d Indra and his brother, Agni, G.o.d of fire, were battle deities until Skanda (also called Karttikeya and k.u.mara) came on the scene. Devoted to nothing but war and violent adventure, this divine bachelor is depicted as a six-headed, armored archer who rideswhat else?a peac.o.c.k. According to one myth, Skanda was born only because other G.o.ds, including Indra and Agni, needed a warrior to defeat the tyrannical demon Taraka. Since Taraka had been deemed invulnerable against all but a son of the G.o.d Sivaa childless, mourning widowerother deities conspired to arouse Siva's interest in the beautiful young G.o.ddess Parvatti. It took much meddling to awaken Siva from his mourning, but the matchmaking worked and eventually the six-headed Skanda was born. Enormously strong, Skanda could plunge his spear into the earth so firmly that no one but the G.o.d Vishnu could pull it out, shaking mountains and rivers in the effort.

_07:: The Eye Has It Also called Wotan or Wodan, Odin was the Norse father G.o.da sort of Teutonic Zeus, but more often identified with the Roman Mercury. (The Latin dies Mercurii became Wotan's day, or Wednesday.) The warlike G.o.d of a warring culture, Odin presided over Valhalla, where slain fighters went to drink forever in bliss. Odin, often depicted as a tall, long-bearded old man observing the world from beneath the wide brim of his hat, rode an eight-legged flying horse, his cloak billowing behind him. He's also depicted with just one eye, not because he'd lost it riding with scissors, but rather because he'd traded the other in for eternal wisdom. Both wise, and bloodthirstydefinitely the makings of a G.o.d you can love.

3 Historical Figures Who Struck Back

with a Vengeance

It's better to give than to receive. But then there's the whole issue of giving back, as in "some of their own medicine." The following are three cases where a little bit of vengeance went a long way.

_01:: The Charlemagne Attraction On August 15, 778 CE, Charlemagne suffered the only major military defeat of his long reign. The king of the Franks and his army were pa.s.sing through the Pyrenees when Basque fighters struck the column's rear guard. Why? The attack was simply revenge for the pillaging that Charlemagne had ordered on Basque villages. Among those killed in the skirmish, though, was a young paladin, nephew of the king, called Hrudoland. Today, historians know nothing about the real Hrudoland except for a legend of his heroism that was turned into the 12th-century epic poem The Song of Roland. In the poem, the attackers aren't Basque fighters but Muslims, carrying out a plot against Roland hatched by his scheming stepfather. The poet goes on to tell of Charlemagne's victory over the Muslims to avenge Roland's death, and of the evil stepfather being tried, convicted, then gruesomely executed. A bit of poetic license, to say the least: in history, Charlemagne did gain the upper hand against Muslim rulers of northern Spain, but it wasn't until a decade later. And it didn't have much to do with Roland.

_02:: Murder in the Cathedral On a Sunday in 1478, a gang led by Francesco de' Pazzi attacked the Medici brothers, Lorenzo and Giuliano, during high ma.s.s in Florence's cathedral. The attack on the city's rulers seemed marginally successful at the time, as Pazzi and his pals stabbed Giuliano to death while his other conspirators tried to kill Lorenzo. Wounded, Lorenzo Medici managed to flee the scene. Amazingly, Pazzi's conspirators were wide-ranging, and included the archbishop of Pisa, the duke of Urbino, and Pope Sixtus IV (who wisely stayed in Rome). And while the gang had worked out most of the angles in their plot, they hadn't accounted for the Florentine people's reaction. Outraged Florentines mobbed the attackers, killed them, and dragged their bodies through the streets. When the archbishop tried to take over the government palace, Florentines slaughtered him and hung his corpse on a wall. Eventually, Lorenzo felt he'd gotten more revenge than he sought, and he tried to rein in the people's rage. As for the Pazzi family, business rivals of the Medicis, they lost everything, and many changed their names or dropped out of sight.

_03:: Russian Reversal of Fortune Czar Alexander I hadn't wanted to declare war on Napoleon's France, but what's a czar to do? When France attacked Russia's European allies, he felt obligated to come to their aid. And Russia certainly paid a price. Suffering terrible defeats at Napoleon's hands in 1805 and 1807, Alexander was left with his army decimated, and thus signed a humiliating treaty with France. But Alex, it turned out, had no intention of honoring the bargain. When Napoleon's patience with his "ally" wore thin in 1812, the French corporal decided it would be a good idea to invade Russia. It wasn't. The Russian commander, Prince Kutuzov, devised a controlled retreat, allowing Napoleon to capture an evacuated Moscowsoon destroyed by fire. When Napoleon had to pull back, Kutuzov forced him to return west by the same now-ravaged route he had come, with the fierce winter closing in. The devastating retreat from Russia marked the beginning of Napoleon's end. In March of 1814, Alexander triumphantly entered Paris, vengeance achieved.

All in the Family:

5 Wars Waged on Familial Insults

Wars can start for all sorts of reasons: to secure trade routes, to capture resources, to eliminate a dangerous rival...but the most interesting wars flare up because of personal insults that lead to family feuds. After all, when a king's starting his speeches with a "your momma" joke, you know trouble's on its way.

_01:: The Face That Launched a Thousand s.h.i.+ps Homer tells the story brilliantly: thousands killed, cities burned and pillaged, and giant equines built out of wood in a country that had barely any trees. And the root cause of the entire affair, as the ancients told it, was a woman: Helen, queen of Sparta. For reasons totally outside her comprehension, she was abducted by Paris, the wimpy prince of Troy. Once thought to be a myth, the story of the Trojan War is being reevaluated by scholars. In the centuries since, doc.u.ments discovered in Hitt.i.te cities in Asia Minor make references to some of Homer's characters and the places he mentions. Did the war really start over the theft of Menelaus' wife? We will probably never know; though control over the lucrative trade routes to the Black Sea probably didn't hurt the cause.

_02:: Sister Pact After the death of Gaius Julius Caesar, the most important men in Rome were two of his kinsmen, Gaius Octavia.n.u.s (his great-nephew and adopted heir) and Marcus Antonius (aka Mark Antony). Realizing they could be even stronger with their powers combined, the two united with their good pal Lepidus, and formed a triumvirate that would determine the fate of all Roman territories. But the two needed something to seal the deal, and what better than a couple of marriage vows to do the trick? Octavia.n.u.s wedded Antony's stepdaughter, and Antony took Octavia.n.u.s's sister, Octavia, for better or for worse. Of course, for Octavia it was definitely for worse. Once old Mark caught sight of Cleopatra, he wanted a divorce. Meanwhile, this didn't really help matters between Octavia.n.u.s and Antony, as the two men had remained rivals through their dealings. But news of the Antonys' divorce helped Octavia.n.u.s decide he'd had enough. The civil war between the two lasted from 33 to 30 BCE. By the end of it, Octavia.n.u.s was the undisputed ruler of the Roman world; he changed his name to Augustus and became the first Roman emperor. Antony, on the other hand, had committed suicide to avoid capture, having learned the hard way that you just don't mess with a man's sister.

_03:: How a Little Bullying Went a Long, Long Way Tan s.h.i.+ Huai was the illegitimate son of a Xianbei (Mongol) mercenary serving the Han dynasty of China. As a result of his low birth, he was considered little better than a slave by his fellow tribesmen. The insults served his way must have stuck in his young craw, particularly given his (as yet unrevealed) ambition, intelligence, and strategic skill. His injured pride may have spurred him on as he gathered a following of malcontents, somehow finagled his way into the supreme overlords.h.i.+p of all Xianbei tribes around 170 CE, and organized a powerful empire north of the Great Wall, even defeating the Huns who had previously ruled the region. Then, in 177, he defeated the Chinese army and threatened the imperial court, though an attack on the capital never materialized because of supply problems. Sadly, however, his empire, which had been held together largely through his own force of will, didn't survive his death. Still, the guy defeated both the mighty Hans and Huns. All because he was picked on as a kid? Makes you wonder how much more effective our politicians could be if we started insulting their families a little more.

_04:: The Great Islamic Schism Politics in sixth- and early-seventh-century Mecca were dominated by a feud between two clans, the Hashemites and the Umayyads. And though the feud continued into the mid-600s, a generation after Muhammad's rise to power, things really came to a head in 656, when the caliph Uthman (an Umayyad) was murdered. The new caliph, Ali (a Hashemite cousin and a son-in-law of Muhammad), didn't really help smooth things over when he failed (or refused) to track down and punish the a.s.sa.s.sins. It's little wonder, then, that the Umayyads saw this as somewhat suspicious and, even worse, kind of insulting to their clan. A five-year war broke out, and eventually ended in a truce, but Ali's subsequent murder (not exactly truceful) and replacement by the Umayyad leader Muawiyya (whose kinsmen would rule the Islamic world for a century to come) exacerbated the conflict. Ali's followers, however, have remained faithful to the end. Driven underground, they called themselves s.h.i.+at Ali, or "the Party of Ali," and their spiritual descendents are known today as the s.h.i.+tes. The rift caused by the fiasco survives to the modern day in Islam's two largest sects.

_05:: The Princess Bride (and a Decidedly Less Happy Ending) In 758 CE, Caliph Abdullah al-Mansur, the t.i.tular ruler of all Islam, decided to order one of his n.o.bles to take a royal Khazar bride and bring about some peace (the Khazars had fought two brutal wars to stop Islamic expansion into the Caucasus Mountains and Eastern Europe). To carry out this seemingly easy task, al-Mansur picked the military governor of Armenia, Yazid ibn Usayd al-Sulami, for the great marriage mission. Of course, Yazid was happy to comply, and took home a daughter of Khagan Baghatur, the Khazar leader. Things were going very well when the girl somehow died, possibly in childbirth, though the details are vague. Her attendants, however, didn't need details. They returned home convinced that some Arab faction had poisoned her (not unreasonable, all things considered). Needless to say, Pops got angry, and took his revenge on the Abbasid Caliphate. The Khazars quickly invaded what is now northwestern Iran, plundering and raiding as only nomads can.

SLOTH.

5 Go-getters Who Found Time to Nap 5 Inventions Better Than the Remote 4 Famous Cases of Plagiarism 4 Cats Who Lay Down on the Job But Got Things Done Anyway 5 Artists Who Bowed to Beer Pressure 5 Lazily Designed Landmarks 4 World Leaders Who Accomplished Absolutely Nothing 5 Famous Journalistic Goofs That Could Have Been Avoided 5 Laziest Kings of All Time 4 Dates That History Misplaced 4 Famous Tunes Stolen from Other Tunes 5 Delinquent Rock Groups and the Chaos They Stirred 4 Famous Figures Who Never Held (Real) Day Jobs 5 Bad Nights of Sleep That Led to Drastic Mistakes 4 Laziest Flag Designs 3 Warning Calls History Ignored 4 Figures Who Claimed Someone Else's Fame Sleeping Giants:

5 Go-getters Who Found Time to Nap

Call it a power nap. Call it a break. Whatever you call it, don't a.s.sume that somebody who sneaks in a few winks in the middle of the day can't also take care of business.

_01:: Thomas Edison: Highly Inventive Napping Prolific inventor Thomas Edison didn't like to go to bed at night. In fact, he didn't like to take his clothes off or change into pajamas because he thought it somehow interfered with his creativity. The solution? The "Wizard of Menlo Park" chose instead to sleep a few hours at nightoften no more than threethen catch naps in the lab around the clock, whenever he felt tired. Colleagues referred to it as his "genius for sleep." After Edison built his laboratory and home together in Menlo Park, New Jersey, in 1876, he could indulge his odd sleep habits with little troubleexcept with his wife, Mary, who found his eccentric hours bothersome. But he kept on doing it anyway. Edison loved to stretch out atop a lab table when catching a quickie, but he was known to make do on a stool if nothing more comfortable was handy.

_02:: Warren G. Harding: Late to Bed and Early to Rise Although he seldom went to bed before midnight and frequently stayed up until 2 a.m., President Harding was not a very late riser. In fact, he always got up at 8. His White House schedule, however, left him increasingly fatigued, perhaps signifying sleep deprivation, but also a sign of the advancing heart disease that would kill him in office in 1923. Friends told Harding that he would be more rested if he stayed in bed in the morning but the president refused, saying that to do so would be "too much like a woman." Irwin "Ike" Hood, chief usher of the White House, recalled that instead, the sleep-deprived president would steal the occasional presidential power nap in the Oval Office.

_03:: Salvador Dali: Surreal Sleep Salvador Dali, the Spanish surrealist painter, arrived at the startling images of his most productive periodbetween 1929 and 1937using what he called the "paranoiac-critical method." Apparently, this involved fis.h.i.+ng "delirious a.s.sociations and interpretations" out of his unconscious. It's less than clear how he accomplished this, but he used no intoxicants. "I don't do drugs," he once said. "I am drugs." Dali wasn't above manipulating his consciousness in other ways, though. He reportedly took odd little catnaps that brought him right to the edge of deep sleep, but then jerked himself out of it. His method was simple: Seated in an armchair, Dali held a metal spoon in one hand. Then, next to his chair, he'd place a metal pan. He'd quickly nod off, and as soon as he was relaxed enough to let go of the spoon, it would fall against the pan. The sudden clang waking him up, Dali was immediately reacquainted with his subconscious, and went back to work.

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Scientist OLIVER HEAVISIDE REJECTS THE BATH.

Maybe it was the scarlet fever he had as a boy that left him partially deaf. Or maybe it was the years he spent isolated in his parents' house studying electricity. Or maybe it was the lack of recognition he received from the scientific community. Whatever it was, something drove British mathematician and physicist Oliver Heaviside (18501925) certifiably loony. Heaviside made lots of important discoveries, like operational calculus, impedance, and a layer of the ionosphere now called the KennellyHeaviside layer (he's also got moon and Mars craters and a song in Cats named after him). But his twilight years were marked by all kinds of kooky behavior, brought on by bitterness and a persecution complex. Oliver refused to bathe, but kept his fingernails impeccably manicured and painted bright pink. He signed all his letters "W.O.R.M.," which stood for...well, worm (how he saw himself or, perhaps, everyone else). And here's the best one: He replaced all the furniture in his house with giant blocks of granite. Yes, really.

_04:: Samuel Goldwyn: Cinematic Snoozer One of Hollywood's most prominent film producers for over 30 years, Sam Goldwyn believed in hard work. Indeed, he demanded it from his employees. He also believed in taking care of himself. Every day after lunch, Sam would take a siesta, disappearing into a room adjacent to his office, changing into pajamas, and sleeping for an hour. According to biographer Arthur Marx, Goldwynthe man behind such cla.s.sics as Wuthering Heights and The Best Years of Our Livesbelieved a 60-minute afternoon nap was the secret to good health. One day he recommended the practice to two writers working on a script for a Danny Kaye picture. "You ought to try it, too," he said. Then, realizing that he didn't want the scribes sleeping on company time, he added, "In your cases, eat a half hour, sleep a half hour."

Touch of Evil Calvin Coolidge took the oath of office at 2:00 in the morning following Warren Harding's death, but he was rarely up that late during any other night of his term. In fact, he was publicly reported to sleep an average of eleven hours every single day.

_05:: Ronald Reagan: To Nap or Not to Nap?

Ronald Reagan supposedly took a nap every day. In fact, it was frequently mentioned in newspaper columns and widely accepted as fact. But First Lady Nancy Reagan vehemently denied the accusations. What he did, Nancy said, was take a short break in the afternoon, away from staff, visitors, and the press. It was, after all, on doctor's orders after Reagan was wounded in a 1981 a.s.sa.s.sination attempt. Maureen Reagan, the president's daughter, also insisted that Reagan hated to take naps. So maybe the Gipper didn't nap in private, but as a president who was nearly 70 when he took office, he was definitely observed from time to time nodding off in public. Reagan even joked about falling asleep in cabinet meetings and once dropped off in the middle of a speech by Pope John Paul II.

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