Forbidden Knowledge Part 1

FORBIDDEN.

KNOWLEDGE.

Shayne, Maggie.

Introduction.

There's no dearth of great literature in the library here at mental_floss. Sure, you've got your heavyweights: Beckett, Proust, even a little section dedicated to obscure Chilean playwrights. But perhaps the most telling t.i.tle on the rack is a dog-eared copy of the picture book The Fire Cat.

From the outset it looks like an ordinary kid's tale. Oversized pages, colorful drawings, easy-to-p.r.o.nounce words. But if you turn a couple of pages in, you'll learn in giant I Can Read Book print that Pickles, who's under the care of Mrs. Goodkind, is neither a good cat nor a bad cat. He is a good and bad cat.

Profound. He also has big paws with which he plans to do big things, but that's neither here nor there.

What we mean to say is that we can relate. See, the cats at mental_ floss often get pegged as a little too good. You know? All toothy grins and saccharine-sweet reputations. And yeah, we've got the good grades to back it up. Not to mention the clean-cut hairstyles, and the finely honed sense for when to insert a please or thank-you without overdoing it. And then there's the press: endless coverage of us helping old women cross streets and plucking kittens out of trees. But don't let that fool you. Look a little deeper and you'll find there's more than a little yin that comes with all this yang.

The truth is, we're kind of bad seeds. Rebels, baby. Catch us when the media's not around and you might see us doing something c-r-a-z-y. Like standing on a moving busyou know, just for the thrill of it. Or going into a library and using our outdoor voices. Sometimes we'll even bite into a piece of fruit without giving it a good rinse first. Does it taste a little sweeter? Oh, you know it does.

Okay. While we might not be as bad as we'd like to believe, there is some comfort in knowing that someone's made up of more than just medals and virtues. And history's exactly the same. It's not the hearts of gold and battles won that are interesting. It's the smirks and quirks. It's juicy anecdotes. It's history's greatest figures telling Jiminy Cricket to shove off, then getting caught on the wrong side of their conscience.

Take Ben Franklin, for instance. Doesn't his whole perfect patriot, Renaissance man act get a little more intriguing when you find out he was sort of a man s.l.u.t? Or Adam Smith's Invisible Hand of Capitalism. Don't the yawns come a little slower when you watch it waving at developing nations with just one finger?

Forbidden Knowledge is exactly that. It's the worst history has to offer, all deliciously broken up into seven sin-tastic chapters. If our first book, Condensed Knowledge, was everything you feel you're supposed to know, this follow-up is the exact opposite: it's all the stuff you shouldn't. It's every bawdy story and dirty secret your history teacher wanted to tell you, but couldn't for fear of losing his or her job. So thumb through the pages. Find a name, person, or place you used to admire. And then read on. We're betting the naughty ending will make you smile.

Enjoy.

Will, Mangesh, and Liz.

PRIDE.

4 Utopian Communities (That Bombed Miserably).

4 Dictator Grooming Tips 7 Pampered Celebrities 4 Greatest Hoaxes of All Time 4 Mandatory Fas.h.i.+on Trends 5 Writers Who Fancied Themselves Peerless 5 Artists Who Were Full of Themselves.

6 Secret Societies That Ain't All That Secret 6 Worst Miscalculations 7 Insane Soviet Projects 5 Bodies That've Never Been Found 4 Structures Built as Symbols of National Pride.

5 World Leaders Obsessed with Their Own Images 6 Recent Cases Where Diversity Would Have Helped 5 Individuals Who Taught Us How to Sing the Blues The Secret Lives of 4 Civil Activists.

9 Famous b.a.s.t.a.r.ds Who Made Their Mark The Dish on 5 National Anthems 6 Ignominious Things Named for Napoleon Bonaparte.

5 Mortals with Minor G.o.d Complexes.

Talk of the Town:.

4 Utopian Communities (That Bombed Miserably).

Every once in a while a proud little community will sprout up just to let the world know how Utopia should be run. With chins raised almost as high as ideals, the community marches forth to be an example of perfection. But in most cases, all that harmonious marching gets tripped up pretty quickly. Here are four "perfect" communities that whizzed and sputtered thanks to human nature.

_01:: Brook Farm, or Ripley's.

Follow Me or Not.

Probably the best-known utopian community in America, Brook Farm was founded in 1841 in West Roxbury, Ma.s.sachusetts, by George and Sophia Ripley. The commune was built on a 200-acre farm with four buildings and centered on the ideals of radical social reform and self-reliance. For free tuition in the community school and one year's worth of room and board, the residents were asked to complete 300 days of labor by either farming, working in the manufacturing shops, performing domestic ch.o.r.es or grounds maintenance, or planning the community's recreation projects. The community prospered in 18421843 and was visited by numerous dignitaries and utopian writers. However, Ripley joined the unpopular Fourierism movement, which meant that soon the young people (out of a "sense of honor") had to do all the dirty work like repairing roads, cleaning stables, and slaughtering the animals. This caused many residents, especially the younger ones, to leave. Things went downhill from there. The community was. .h.i.t by an outbreak of smallpox followed by fire and finally collapsed in 1847.

_02:: Fruitlands: A Utopian.

Community (for Six Months.

Anyway).

After visiting Brook Farm and finding it almost too worldly by their standards, Bronson Alcott (the father of Louisa May) and Charles Lane founded the Fruitlands Commune in June 1843, in Harvard, Ma.s.sachusetts. Structured around the British reformist model, the commune's members were against the owners.h.i.+p of property, were political anarchists, believed in free love, and were vegetarians. The group of 11 adults and a small number of children were forbidden to eat meat or use any animal products such as honey, wool, beeswax, or manure. They were also not allowed to use animals for labor and only planted produce that grew up out of the soil so as not to disturb worms and other organisms living in the soil. Many in the group of residents saw manual labor as spiritually inhibiting and soon it became evident that the commune could not provide enough food to sustain its members. The strict diet of grains and fruits left many of the members malnourished and sick. Given this situation, many of the members left and the community collapsed in January 1844.

_03:: The Shakers.

Officially known as the United Society of Believers in Christ's Second Appearing, the Shakers were founded in Manchester, England, in 1747. As a group of dissenting Quakers under the charismatic leaders.h.i.+p of Mother Ann Lee, the Shakers came to America in 1774. Like most reformist movements of the time, the Shakers were agriculturally based, and believed in common owners.h.i.+p of all property and the confession of sins. Unlike most of the other groups, the Shakers practiced celibacy, or the lack of procreation. Members.h.i.+p came via converts or by adopting children. Shaker families consisted of "brothers" and "sisters" who lived in gender-segregated communal homes of up to 100 individuals. During the required Sunday community meetings it was not uncommon for members to break into a spontaneous dance, thus giving them the Shaker label. As pacifists they were exempted from military service and became the United States' first conscientious objectors during the Civil War. Currently, however, there isn't a whole lot of Shaking going on. As the younger members left the community, converts quit coming, and the older ones died off, many of the communities were forced to close. Of the original 19 communities, most had closed by the early 1900s, with only one in existence today.

_04:: Pullman's Capitalist Utopia.

Located 15 miles south of Chicago, the town of Pullman was founded in the 1880s by George Pullman (of luxury railway car fame) as a utopian community based on the notion that capitalism was the best way to meet all material and spiritual needs. According to Pullman's creed, the community was built to provide Pullman's employees with a place where they could exercise proper moral values and where each resident had to adhere to the strict tenets of capitalism under the direction and leaders.h.i.+p of Pullman. The community was run on a for-profit basisthe town had to return a profit of 7% annually. This was done by giving the employees two paychecks, one for rent, which was automatically turned back in to Pullman, and one for everything else. Interestingly, the utopian community had very rigid social cla.s.s barriers, with the management and skilled workers living in stately homes and the unskilled laborers living in tenements. Within 20 years the experiment failed miserably. Pullman began demanding more and more rent to offset company losses, while union sentiment grew among the employee residents.*

Touch of Evil.

Not all cult villages lose touch with pop culture. Reports indicate that, strewn among the bodies of the 900-plus dead at the People's Temple in Jonestown, Guyana, were ca.s.sette tapes featuring the vocal stylings of none other than Barry White.*

The Totalitarian Style Guide:.

4 Dictator Grooming Tips.

So, you wanna be a dictator? Sure, you've got the well-equipped, fanatically loyal army, you've selected a country for conquering, and you're ready to murder anyone who stands in the way (what commitment!). But if you want to be taken seriously in the Dictator Game, you'll need to look the part. Lucky for you, we've a.s.sembled a handy guide to get you started.

_01:: The Mustache From Hitler to Mussolini to Saddam Hussein, dictators have long relied on the mustache to give them the illusion of stiff upper lips. And they're touchy about 'em, to boot! In 1923, Hitler's friend Ernst Hanfstaengl encouraged the future Fuhrer to grow his mustache across the entire length of his lip. Hitler, naturally, later tried to have Hanfstaengl killed. Critics of Stalin's 'stache fared even worse. In a poem intended only for a small circle of friends, Osip Mandelstam compared Stalin's mustache to a c.o.c.kroach. Thereafter, Mandelstam was repeatedly arrested and sent to deadly Soviet work campshe died, probably in 1939, in one of the gulags. So whether you go pencil-thin or Selleck-thick, remember the mustacheand to crush any who question it.

_02:: Let Yourself Go a Little Nothing establishes power over the people quite like making it abundantly obvious to them that you have access to more food than they do. Just think of the adorably pudgy (and slightly paranoid) Kim Jong Il, or the rotund Idi Amin. But by far the fattest autocrat is Taufa'ahau Tupou IV, the longtime king of Tongo. But don't let the chub fool you: despite weighing in at a chunky 300-plus pounds, the Tongan king is 100% dictator. In fact, he's led one of the strangest imperialist campaigns of all time to prove it. After an eccentric Nevadan named Michael Oliver piled sand onto a reef in the Pacific and declared his newly built paradise "The Republic of Minerva" in 1972, Tupou and a force of 350 Tongans invaded the one-man nation and annexed it in history's most minor act of colonialism.

_03:: Care for Your Hair,

Not Your People

Although it may seem a little too metros.e.xual for totalitarian rulers, hair care is as vital to a proper dictators.h.i.+p as erecting statues of yourself and murdering innocents. Historically, dictators lucky enough to have a full head of hair (sorry, Mao) have gone to great lengths to protect it. When he was plucked from his miserable little spider hole outside Tikrit in 2003, it immediately became clear that the suddenly salt-and-pepper Saddam Hussein had previously been using Just For Men. And North Korea's Kim Jong Il, whose bouffant may seem out of style to those of us who aren't 70-year-old women, purportedly spends hours on his permsand spikes his hair into peaks to appear taller than his 5 feet 2 inches (he also wears shoes with lifts).

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad,

Mad Emperor

NORTON I, EMPEROR OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Joshua Abraham Norton (1819?1880) was just about as crazy as they come. Norton declared himself Emperor of the United States of America (and Protector of Mexico) in 1859, and although he never really left San Francisco to survey his domains, he became such a local celebrity that his "proclamations" were carried in San Francisco's newspapers. Not just that, he ate for free in the best restaurants in town, and stores all over the city accepted the special "currency" he made for his empire of one. Even more impressive, when he pa.s.sed away, 30,000 San Franciscans turned out for Norton's funeral, perhaps just to see his new clothes.

_04:: Uniforms = The New Black Durable, washable, and flattering to any build, a military uniform is another essential for any dictator. Suits and ties are for democratically elected pansiesa uniform reminds your citizens who has the guns: You do! When selecting your totalitarian couture, we recommend choosing from one of two cla.s.sic schools of uniform thought. The Castrono fancy medals or ornate accessories hereis just your cla.s.sic, tailored-to-fit green fatigues, with a cigar and a Britney Spea.r.s.esque page boy cap to complete the ensemble. Or you can opt for a little more military bling, and fas.h.i.+on yourself in the school of the Amin. Like Idi Amin's bloodthirsty, over-the-top reign, the Amin is ostentatious and intimidating, with dozens of medals, some the size of a hockey puck, adorning a blue double-breasted general's coat. Have your minions sew some gaudy gold epaulets onto your shoulders, and you'll be ready to terrorize the people in style!

Touch of Evil Some sources claim that Adolf Hitler purposely styled his short mustache after film legend Charlie Chaplin's. The silent film star wasn't exactly impressed and responded by mocking Der Fuhrer in The Great Dictator, his first "talkie" film.

Ridiculous Contract Riders of

7 Pampered Celebrities

Everyone knows rock and roll is about thrills and excesswe just didn't realize that spirit was supposed to extend to the greenroom buffet. The following are seven very pampered acts that made sure their laundry list of demands got tacked onto their contracts.

_01:: Van Halen and the

Whole M&M'S Thing

Van Halen first gained notoriety for their stipulation that, at every gig, their dressing room was to contain a large bowl of M&M'S, but with all the brown ones removed. And while this has often been cited as proof of the band members' towering egos, it was actually included by the tour promoters as an easy way of seeing if the concert venues had read the contract thoroughly (particularly the parts about technical requirements, etc.). But sneaky M&M'S tactics aside, Van Halen's riders are also notorious for the sheer volume of alcohol they stipulate. One rider specified that their dressing room was to contain a case of beer, a pint of Jack Daniel's, a pint of Absolut, a 750 ml bottle of Bacardi Anejo rum, three bottles of wine, small bottles of Cointreau and Grand Marnier, and a 750 ml bottle of one of five specific premium tequilas. Don't forget six limes, margarita salt, shot gla.s.ses, ingredients for b.l.o.o.d.y Marys, and a blender. Sure, there are only four dudes in the band, but shouldn't you expect this sort of behavior from a group whose ba.s.sist plays a guitar shaped like a bottle of Jack?

_02:: JLo's Trailer from the Park There are divas, there are superdivas, and then there's Jennifer Lopez. That's right, the same sultry soulstress who preaches the "keep it real" street mantra also happens to require a trailer at least 40 feet in length, in which everything is white. That means drapes, couches, candles, tablecloths, lilies, and roses (she also requires yellow roses with red trim thrown in as well). And if you're hoping to keep a prolonged smile on "Jenny from the Block's" pretty mug, you can't forget the selection of current CDs she requires, chosen from a list of 43 artists, or her three favorite scented candles from DiptyqueTuberose, Figuier, and Heliotrope. And that's just from her contract for a charity song benefiting AIDS victims in Africa! Oh, and did we mention Jenny was only at the event for a total of 90 minutes? It's almost as if her ego's as big as her...nope, too easy.

_03:: Guns N' (Long-Stemmed)

Roses