The Wraiths Of Will And Pleasure Part 52

'There is much we can teach one another,' Pellaz replied.

'Such as how to control aruna between hara and parazha?' Mima asked hopefully.

Pellaz smiled sadly. 'Not that, I'm afraid. None of us are yet advanced enough to understand it.'

'Not even Thiede?' Flick asked.

'You know very well I can't confide in Thiede over this.'

'But he knows everything, doesn't he?' Flick said. 'He must know you've been here. He must know about the Kamagrian.'

'No,' Pellaz said. 'He does not, and that's how it's going to stay for now. I'm not completely helpless. I have learned enough to protect my privacy.'

'Will you help us find Lileem and Terez?' Mima said. 'Please, Pell. We can't just forget about them. Ulaume knows they're alive, as he knew you were alive. He's never wrong.' She turned to Ulaume. 'Are you, Lor?'

Ulaume shrugged. 'I don't believe so, not in matters of this kind.'

Pellaz took a deep sighing breath. 'I have tried to find them,' he said. 'Peridot knows what signature to look for in the otherlanes one very similar to mine. He has found nothing. The otherlanes and the realms they connect are infinite. The task is virtually impossible. And, unlike Ulaume, I'm not convinced Terez is still alive. I'm sorry, Mima, I think we have to resign ourselves to his loss, and to Lileem's too. I know you were close to her and I appreciate how difficult this must be, but I've carried the burden of loss and grief for a long time, and I know you can live with it eventually. It becomes manageable and then it goes away. Life goes on. We have to move with it.'

In a month, it appeared Pellaz had got over his consuming pa.s.sion for Cal. This did not convince Flick one bit. He knew Pellaz wasn't telling the truth.

'You can't give up looking,' Mima said.

'I have to,' Pellaz said. 'For one thing, I don't have the time. I could devote my life to this task and still not find them.'

'Teach Flick how to ride Astral properly, then,' Mima said. 'You could do that. Then Flick could continue the search. Bring us all one of your weird horses. We could all try.'

'I can't,' Pellaz said. 'The sedim sedim are not horses exactly, Mima, and every one is accounted for. It was difficult enough to 'lose' Astral in the first place. Vaysh and I had to concoct a wild story about how he got swept off into the void by an energy storm. We impressed upon the other are not horses exactly, Mima, and every one is accounted for. It was difficult enough to 'lose' Astral in the first place. Vaysh and I had to concoct a wild story about how he got swept off into the void by an energy storm. We impressed upon the other sedim sedim not to reveal the truth, but who can say how they think and feel? We can't fathom their being, not really. I'm not sure to this day whether Thiede believes the story. There's no way I could risk bringing you more not to reveal the truth, but who can say how they think and feel? We can't fathom their being, not really. I'm not sure to this day whether Thiede believes the story. There's no way I could risk bringing you more sedim sedim. And if I removed the restraints on Astral, he'd 'show up' to other creatures of his kind while he was travelling. It's just impossible.'

Flick had not realised before how difficult it must have been for Pellaz to arrange for him to keep Astral. He wished he'd known that, months ago. It would have meant a lot.

'There is one thing Opalexian has agreed to do for me,' Pellaz said. 'I have a human friend in Immanion, called Kate. In time, Opalexian will allow her to come to s.h.i.+lalama and be made parage. It's the least I could do for her.'

'And you trust this woman?' Mima said.

Pellaz smiled. 'If somehar had made you the offer, and asked you to swear eternal silence, what would have been your decision? Particularly if you lived with hara. Imagine having to look at yourself every day in the mirror, watch yourself growing old, while your friends stayed the same. Imagine never being able to take aruna. I haven't told Kate about this yet, but I'm fairly confident what her response will be. When the time comes, I'd like you to care for her, Mima. Would you do that? Kate and I have had our ups and downs, not least because she is a close friend of Rue's but I care for her deeply. I would be grateful beyond words if your blood could incept her. It's the closest she could get to me. She is not like the pious Roselane, but a fun-loving and irreverent creature. You'd like her.'

Mima's expression was stony. 'Are you lining up a replacement for Lileem? If so, forget it.'

'I wouldn't be so insensitive. I'm asking you, as a favour.'

'All right,' Mima said grudgingly, 'if Opalexian knows how it should be done properly, I can shed a few drops of blood. I can't promise anything beyond that, however. I might not fancy her.'

Pellaz laughed. 'You don't know how much it cheers me to hear you talk like this.' He took her in his arms again. 'Kamagrian is a wondrous gift, Mima. It has given back to me the women I love.'

Later, they joined Opalexian for a meal, and spent a pleasant evening in her company. Opalexian was conviviality itself. She drank a lot of wine and appeared to be genuinely tipsy, which indicated a level of trust. Flick knew that Pellaz and the Kamagrian priestess believed they'd sorted everything out, calmed ruffled tempers and dashed all hopes of Lileem and Terez being found. Gifts were offered to keep things sweet. Opalexian asked Mima if she would care to become overseer of the gardens of Kalalim. This would involve a big rise in status. A large house came with the job, and staff to look after it. Mima, Flick and Ulaume could move into it within a week. Ulaume was good with his hands. It would please Opalexian if he would become her personal sculptor. She would like to commission statues of the dehara, which were, of course, so fascinating. Flick might like to open a temple to them in the city, in fact, to teach hara and parazha all about them. He could appoint a priesthood and devise rituals and ceremonies in the dehara's honour.

These were weighty gifts indeed. Flick was cynical about it. Was there any point in being angry? Probably not. Pellaz's arguments had been sound. There did seem to be little he could do about Lileem and Terez. Opalexian seemed to be taking Mima's relations.h.i.+p to the Tigron seriously. Her offers were genuine enough. We might as well give in and enjoy it, We might as well give in and enjoy it, Flick thought. Flick thought. To do otherwise would be stupid. To do otherwise would be stupid.

So life caught them up in a hectic spin, when there was little time to brood about the past or what had been lost. The new house was beautiful, and attached to the palace complex. It had its own walled garden, with a terrace and a series of waterfalls that brought back memories of Casa Ricardo. One of the many downstairs rooms was converted into a studio for Ulaume, where he had a sweeping view of the mountains. A staff of parazha came with the house, and Flick knew that the cook, a fearsome parage of short temper called Marmorea, would not look too happily upon him using her kitchen. The food she prepared was excellent, however. She often cooked with hot spices and peppers to remind Mima of home.

At the bottom of the long s.p.a.cious garden was a small dark wood, and this afforded Pellaz the privacy he needed to visit their home. He would walk up the garden in the evenings, maybe once a month, leaving Peridot in the cover of the trees. The staff in the house believed him to be a high-ranking har from Garridan, and his visits always occasioned a flurry of excitement in the house, because the Garridan were mostly poisoners, and had a reputation for being dangerously romantic creatures. Pellaz would dress in black for these occasions, and his name to the staff was Artemisian.

Flick and the others found that their disapproving friends came flocking back after Opalexian waved her bounteous magical hand over their lives. On many occasions, hara and parazha dropped the hint that they would like to meet the das.h.i.+ng stranger who visited the house. They'd heard the rumours. Who was he? Mima, Flick and Ulaume ignored these less than subtle pleas. Artemisian was a har who guarded his privacy. He did not want to meet new faces.

Flick realised he had much to be thankful for in his life. Most hara would envy all that he had. High ranking friends, an exclusive relations.h.i.+p with the most important har in Wraeththudom, a beautiful house, meaningful work, and a har he loved at his side. But still, he found himself thinking of Lileem and was plagued by the nagging doubt he hadn't done enough to try and help her. One night, in bed, he confided this thought to Ulaume, and Ulaume took Flick's face in his hands. 'I haven't given up hope,' he said. 'I know that one day Lileem will return to us. I feel it in my heart.'

His courage and conviction washed over Flick like the waves of a warm ocean.

'Trust me,' Ulaume said.

'With my life,' Flick murmured.

It was a special moment. Nothing was said, but Flick lay back and offered himself. There was a sweetness to this surrender he could not describe. His whole body ached. When he felt Ulaume inside him, he thought he might die from the feeling of completeness and love that swelled through his heart. Aruna had never been like this: so gentle, yet so intense.

There came a moment when Ulaume stopped moving and whispered, 'We don't have to go on.'

Flick stared into his eyes. 'This is how much I trust you,' he said. And he felt a part of him open up. It hurt a little, but soon the pain was forgotten in the overwhelming and blissful sensation that came afterwards.

In this way, Flick and Ulaume conceived their first child.

The seasons stole over the land in their gowns of white, and green and russet. Clouds moved across the sky, from day to night, and the years pa.s.sed. When Flick's son was born, he and Ulaume named him Aleeme, partly in honour of lost Lileem.

After a couple of years, the Tigron's friend Kate came to s.h.i.+lalama, and as Pellaz had predicted, she got on very well with Mima. The inception went through as planned, and not really to anyone's surprise, Mima consummated it with aruna. From thereafter, when Pellaz came to the house, he usually brought Kate with him. She was Katarin now.

It had become common knowledge in Immanion that Pellaz visited Jaddayoth on a regular basis, and he let it be known he stayed with Ulaume and Flick, although as far as everyhar else was concerned, they lived in Garridan rather than Roselane. Flick sometimes wondered how Seel felt about that, because he presumed Seel must know. The Tigron often yearned for times of peace and contemplation, and holidays with old friends in the beautiful mountainous country were just what he needed. He liked to take his human friend with him, even though it was rather frowned upon that he allowed her to ride the otherlanes. He had mentioned to friends that harish adepts in Garridan had taught Kate many meditational techniques to ensure longevity in humans, and this was why she did not appear to age as other humans did. No hara in Immanion questioned this, because to them it was unthinkable that Kate could have become in any way har.

Pellaz said he had learned that Thiede had released Cal from the tower, because Cal had renounced all ties to the Tigron. He was mostly rehabilitated and would now forge a new life somewhere else. Pellaz appeared to have accepted this.

Flick was sometimes dizzy with it all. Life was neat. No loose ends.

Chapter Thirty Five.

The Festival of the Mountain Walker was only a few days away, and Flick was out in the orchard spraying the trees with a herbal insect repellent, Aleeme playing in the flower-strewn gra.s.s at his feet. The sun was hot on Flick's head as its beams came down through the gently moving leaves. The drone of bees filled the air, because Ulaume had started an apiary at the end of the orchard. This might be the last year that Aleeme enjoyed this festival as a harling, because he was nearly seven years old, and the time for innocent play would soon be at an end. Flick looked down on his son affectionately. He looked more like his father than his hostling, but his hair, like Flick's, was very dark. Flick supposed all harlings appeared enchanting, wondrous and special to those who had given them birth, but Aleeme's bright spirit was like a healing medicine. It was impossible to dwell on past darkness in his presence. Flick wished the harling could remain a child forever. He didn't want bad things to happen to his son. Who, for example, would they choose for his feybraiha? The only har Flick would really want for the job was Pellaz and he wondered whether that was a possibility. It seemed merely thinking his name conjured him up.

Flick felt the strange fracture in the air that signalled a portal to the otherlanes had opened, although Pellaz was adept at keeping his arrivals discreet. Peridot could jump through a crack, so he said.

Flick shaded his eyes and saw Pellaz, radiant as ever, strolling up through the trees. Aleeme spotted him and leapt to his feet with a cry of greeting. He ran towards the Tigron, and Pellaz swept him up in his arms and swung him round. Aleeme was all over him, chattering nonsensically, but as Pellaz released the harling he looked over and caught Flick's eye. His expression was grave.

'Hi,' Flick said.

Pellaz came to him and kissed him on the lips. 'You look wonderful,' he said. 'A dehar of the earth.'

'Go inside, Lee,' Flick said. 'Tell Marmorea we have a guest for dinner.'

Aleeme sped off, leaping into the air and making joyous whooping sounds.

'He's growing so fast,' Pellaz said.

Flick nodded and folded his arms. 'What is it?'

'A visit, what else?'

'Pell, I know you. You had 'something important' written all over your face just then.'

Pellaz paused. 'All right. I did want to wait until I had you, Lor and Mima together, but I might as well tell you now.'

'This sounds ominous...'

Pellaz smiled rather sternly. 'It might be. Are you ready for Operation Rescue Senseless Relatives?'

Flick stared at him in disbelief. 'What are you saying?'

'You heard. Of course, if we're successful, they can't stay here. I'll have to take them to Immanion. Opalexian believes I've dropped the matter.'

'You never did,' Flick said in wonder. He uttered a short laugh that threatened to turn to tears. 'You never gave up.'

'And you never trusted me,' Pellaz said. 'Of course I didn't give up, but Opalexian couldn't know that. I didn't tell you, either, because I didn't want to keep any of your hopes up, just in case I failed. It's taken me a long time, because I had to s.n.a.t.c.h moments when I could to continue the search. But I think I've found something at last.'

Flick embraced him fiercely. 'Pell, I can't believe this. Can you really bring them back after all this time?'

Pellaz held him at arm's length. 'I don't know for sure. But I have a plan.'

The rest of the day felt endless. Aleeme didn't want to go to bed because Artemisian was there: a har on whom he clearly had a big crush. Both Mima and Ulaume sensed a tension in Pellaz, and it was mentioned quite regularly throughout dinner. He managed to hold them off until Flick ordered Aleeme to go upstairs.

'So, what is is on your mind?' Mima said. 'Are you going to tell us now or what? Why haven't you brought Kate with you?' on your mind?' Mima said. 'Are you going to tell us now or what? Why haven't you brought Kate with you?'

'Don't over-react to what I'm about to say,' Pellaz said.

'What are are you going to say?' Mima said, eyes narrow. you going to say?' Mima said, eyes narrow.

'You and I, Mima, if you want to... tonight we could try to s.n.a.t.c.h Lileem and Terez back into our world.'

Mima stared at him, her eyes glittering with the tears that welled almost instantly. Flick realised then: she had never forgotten. Like Pellaz, she'd learned to put bandages over the heart, but beneath them, wounds still festered. 'You mean it?' she said in a husky croak.

He nodded. 'Yes. I can't guarantee success, but we have a chance.'

'But it's been so long. How are they? Are they the same? Where are they?'

'Hush,' Pellaz said. 'I can't answer your questions. Peridot and I have merely found Terez's signature in the otherlanes, that's all. You must realise that we will be attempting something no other har has done before: exit the otherlanes into an unknown world. The only reason I'm prepared to do it is because if Terez is alive, it must mean the realm he's in is not that hostile an environment. We have no way of knowing otherwise, which is why Wraeththu have not yet become great otherlanes explorers!'

'This is astounding,' Flick said. 'But surely dangerous.'

Pellaz cast him a quick glance. 'It is. If I'm wrong and we have to get out d.a.m.n fast, I only hope we're not dead before we know it. But I don't think I'm wrong.'

Ulaume had been silent so far, his eyes wide and dark. Flick reached for his hands beneath the table, and when he found them, clasped tightly in Ulaume's lap, the fingers were icy. Now Ulaume said, 'Pell, the Hegemony would never allow you to do this. Risking your life in this way. It's unthinkable.'

'I know,' Pellaz said. 'But they don't don't know. I feel confident about it. Believe me, I wouldn't be considering this if I had any doubts.' He leaned forward, hands clasped on the table. 'We don't know where Thiede got the know. I feel confident about it. Believe me, I wouldn't be considering this if I had any doubts.' He leaned forward, hands clasped on the table. 'We don't know where Thiede got the sedim sedim from, or how he made them, if that's the right word. But I've worked with Peridot for many years and I trust him. He is not a mindless animal. I've communicated my wishes to him and his response has been positive. He would not risk his own being for the sake of a stupid har, however grand and important that har might believe himself to be. If Terez is alive, Peridot will find him, and therefore hopefully Lileem as well. I've thought about all the possibilities. Terez could be a prisoner of another race, for example. The rescue might not be straight forward. But Peridot can jump in and out of the otherlanes in the blink of an eye. He can squeeze himself between the tiniest s.p.a.ces.' Pellaz reached out and took one of Mima's hands in his own. 'I believe we can do this, but I need a companion. If we find the others, we'll need two from, or how he made them, if that's the right word. But I've worked with Peridot for many years and I trust him. He is not a mindless animal. I've communicated my wishes to him and his response has been positive. He would not risk his own being for the sake of a stupid har, however grand and important that har might believe himself to be. If Terez is alive, Peridot will find him, and therefore hopefully Lileem as well. I've thought about all the possibilities. Terez could be a prisoner of another race, for example. The rescue might not be straight forward. But Peridot can jump in and out of the otherlanes in the blink of an eye. He can squeeze himself between the tiniest s.p.a.ces.' Pellaz reached out and took one of Mima's hands in his own. 'I believe we can do this, but I need a companion. If we find the others, we'll need two sedim sedim to bring them back.' to bring them back.'

Mima swallowed, her face wrinkling up as if she tasted something bitter. 'Must I... must we take aruna together?'

Pellaz shook his head. 'No, that's not necessary. But I do need your Kamagrian life force, which is why I've asked you rather than Flick or Ulaume. The combination of Kamagrian and Wraeththu energy is extremely potent, a vast resource we have not yet begun to tap. We know so little about it, and it's clearly fraught with dangers, but I do know that our conjoined force will be the focus to get us to the place where Lileem and Terez are. We can achieve this effect through means other than aruna. In this way, the outcome will be more controlled.'

Mima nodded, her lips a thin compressed line. 'Yes. Yes. I'll do whatever it takes.' And if that had meant aruna with her brother, she'd have done that too.

'Flick,' Pellaz said, 'we'll need Astral for this. Mima must ride him.'

'You'll remove the constraints?' Flick said.

'Yes. No other way, I'm afraid.'

'But won't...?'

'Don't mention it,' Pellaz said. 'We'll take a risk. I suggest we go to the place where we used to meet, Flick. It's far enough from s.h.i.+lalama to guarantee privacy. I'd like you and Ulaume to accompany us, then return to this house and wait.'

'That will be... hard,' Flick said. 'What if you don't return immediately? How do we explain Mima's absence? It could take years.'

'I will do everything in my power to make this mission as swift as possible,' Pellaz said, 'as will Peridot. Astral is not as experienced, but Peridot will guide him. If you have to, say that Mima has come with me to Garridan to deal with a family emergency or something. Use your wits.'

The sun had just set and the night air was still warm. The journey to Pell and Flick's old meeting place was around an hour and a half way from s.h.i.+lalama, at a fast pace. Pellaz told Mima to ride Astral on the way there to familiarise herself with him. She'd ridden a sedu sedu before, of course, on the way to s.h.i.+lalama from Freyh.e.l.la, but her memory of that journey was hazy. It had been so bizarre and so swift, her mind had blanked out most of the details. before, of course, on the way to s.h.i.+lalama from Freyh.e.l.la, but her memory of that journey was hazy. It had been so bizarre and so swift, her mind had blanked out most of the details.

Mima could not believe this was really happening, that in a few short hours she would literally be out of this world, her feet on the soil of an otherworld realm. It was incredible. If it happened, would she remain sane thereafter? So many times she'd prayed to the dehara, Aruhani in particular, and begged them to show her a way to bring Lileem back. Ulaume had never given up hope, but Mima's hope had vacillated. Sometimes, especially more recently, she'd been hit by a black depression, convinced that she'd never see Lileem or Terez again. Years had pa.s.sed, but in private moments, when she dared to dwell upon it, it felt to Mima as if Lileem and Terez had disappeared only last week. Never, in all her wild imaginings, had she ever considered she would be doing this; voluntarily travelling to the no-place where aruna, and its unpredictable dehar, had taken her lost friend and brother.

At the appointed spot, Pellaz asked his companions to sit in a circle and join hands. They sat beneath the rock on the sweet summer gra.s.s that was damp with evening dew. A great ghostly owl flew over their heads: surely an omen. Peridot and Astral stood motionless outside the circle, and for once their masks of being ordinary beasts of earth seemed to have slipped. They did not bow their heads to munch the gra.s.s, nor switch their tails or toss their manes. They watched, with full and focused intention.

Mima took her brother's hand on the one side, and Ulaume's on the other. The moment she did so, she closed her eyes and it was like sharing breath. She was back at the white house with Lileem: it was a flickering grainy image, like the old movies she had seen what seemed like centuries ago. Her entire time with her adopted family flashed past her perception in seconds, then she was going further back, into a sunset and the smell of ripe cable fruit. She was brus.h.i.+ng Pell's hair before a mirror by lamplight, and she was thinking: he is so lovely, he should have been born a girl. he is so lovely, he should have been born a girl. The moment Cal had set foot in their settlement, with all his languorous beauty, Mima had known that Pell would be lost. And that was before she even realised Cal was Wraeththu. The moment Cal had set foot in their settlement, with all his languorous beauty, Mima had known that Pell would be lost. And that was before she even realised Cal was Wraeththu.

Pellaz squeezed her fingers and she sensed he must be picking up on her thoughts. His own were shrouded, but perhaps not. Perhaps the images in her mind came directly from him.

The Tigron drew in a slow deep breath through his nose. He called upon the power of the Aghama, the life force of creation. He called it down upon them. Mima could see it as a radiant beam that came from the centre of the universe and held them in its light. They would travel this beam to other realms, to unimagined landscapes. Where her hand joined with Pell's, she felt as if the flesh was melting, as if she had begun to meld with him completely. Their bones would interlace like the twigs of trees growing close to one another in a deep dark forest.

'Think of Lileem,' Pellaz said to her by mind touch, 'and do not let her go. Keep the image pure and strong and true. It is your lantern in the darkness.'

He leaned towards her and put his mouth near her own. They did not touch but the streams of their breath mingled, causing myriad microscopic explosions in the air between them. The reaction kindled a new form of energy and where it existed, so the boundaries between the worlds became thin and unstable.

'Rise,' Pellaz said aloud. 'Mount Astral, Mima. Flick, Ulaume, stand back.'

In a daze, Mima jumped up onto the sedu sedu. The landscape around her had changed. It was as if she could perceive the essence of everything. The animal beneath her was so strange, she had to concentrate on the image of horse to stop herself leaping from its back with a scream of dread. She could hear the air fracturing, reality shattering, like guns firing in the distance or gla.s.s breaking underfoot. Astral connected with her as if his mind was a snake. A whip of intention lashed out and hooked into her consciousness. She could hear him speak speak. We will open the way on the steam of your breath. Hold true, little one. Hold the lantern high. We will open the way on the steam of your breath. Hold true, little one. Hold the lantern high.

With a final ear-splitting crash, reality broke apart, Astral lunged forward and Mima was hurled into the s.p.a.ce between the worlds.

Rus.h.i.+ng, vortex, waves of energy that she could smell and taste. A soaring ghost beside her that she could not see, but could only feel. The thing she rode: it had wings that were like oars that were like blades rotating. She wasn't riding it. She was in in it. And this time, her awareness was fully awake and alert. She would not forget this journey. She was not a pa.s.senger, but a pilot and her navigator was the otherworldly being that enfolded her essence. it. And this time, her awareness was fully awake and alert. She would not forget this journey. She was not a pa.s.senger, but a pilot and her navigator was the otherworldly being that enfolded her essence.