The Wraiths Of Will And Pleasure Part 30

'I was all swollen and sore, it was so weird. And this is the worst...' She uttered a nervous giggle. 'I touched myself to see if I was OK and I nearly bit my own hand off!' She put her fingers over her mouth and shook with laughter, although tears still coursed down her face. 'I'm sure there were teeth.'

Flick struggled not to laugh as well, although he was bursting to. 'Oh, well, if you ask me, that sounds fairly har. But there are no teeth, Lee, just strong muscles and an instinct. Did you notice anything else?'

'Yes. My ouana-lim has changed as well. It's more there than it used to be.' She groaned. 'It is is happening, isn't it?' happening, isn't it?'

Flick drew in his breath. 'Something is, obviously. Will you show me or would you like Mima or Ulaume here instead?'

Lileem covered her face with her hands again. 'Oh, I don't know! I know I have to but I don't want to. Give me a moment.'

They sat in silence, while Lileem rocked on the cus.h.i.+ons, uttering a low humming sound. It was the sort of noise she used to make as a child. Eventually, she lowered her hands. 'We could all do it, all see. That would be best, wouldn't it? Then we'd all know about each other.'

'Lee, I don't think so. That would be... well, I don't think it would be right.'

'Why not? If I was truly har you wouldn't think twice about it, would you? That means you think I'm different, you look down on me.'

'No, it doesn't.'

'I won't show myself unless you all do. It's only fair. What are you afraid of?'

'Instinct,' Flick said. 'I'm afraid for you. If hara shared a moment like that, I know how it would end up. You're so young.'

'And that wouldn't happen if it was just you and me?'

Flick stood up, agitated. This conversation was heading into territory he had not antic.i.p.ated. 'I'll talk to the others,' he said. 'Wait here.'

Outside on deck, he took deep breaths. How stupid not to consider that if Lileem ever did come of age, like a normal harling, one of them would have to be her first aruna partner. But that might not even be possible. She could be poisoned by it, or worse.

Mima noticed him standing in the darkness and came over, Ulaume following. 'Well?' she said.

'She will show herself to us, but only if we show ourselves to her at the same time in return.'

Mima turned away abruptly.

'That's reasonable,' Ulaume said. 'We shouldn't prod and poke her like a freak. She should be as aware of the similarities and differences as we are.'

'Mima?' Flick said. 'Could you do this?'

She would not look at him.

'This is a hurdle that needs to be overcome,' Ulaume said. 'For too long there have been big secrets between us. Once it's out in the open, we're all a lot wiser and there's nothing to fear. We live together as family, but we don't even know if we're the same species.'

'No,' Mima said. 'You do it, if you want to, but I won't. I'm not a side show.'

'What good does this att.i.tude do you?' Ulaume said. 'For Hubisag's sake, Mima, stop being stupid and coy and start being har. It's what you want, isn't it?'

In response, Mima jumped off the boat onto the bank and ran off up the path beside the river.

'Sensitive of you,' Flick said.

'It's senseless,' Ulaume said. 'We've indulged them too much, Flick. We should have known these things years ago, now it's so much more difficult.' He clasped Flick's shoulder. 'Mima can stew for a while. Maybe she'll come to her senses. Let's go to Lileem.'

Ulaume was the best har for the job. Flick was amazed it was ultimately so easy, and wondered why he'd put himself through those awkward moments with Lileem. Ulaume made it fine, because he was so matter of fact about the whole procedure.

They returned to the cabin and Ulaume said. 'We've talked about what you asked, Lee, and we agree to what you suggested. Mima hasn't, and she's charged off in a huff, but if you want to know about me, you're welcome.' He began to unb.u.t.ton his s.h.i.+rt. 'One thing about being har is not to be ashamed or frightened of your own body.' Off came the s.h.i.+rt. 'Perhaps it's my fault, and I should have been more open with you from the start.' He pulled off the rest of his clothes and stood before her. 'So, let's compare.'

'OK.'

Flick could tell she was so fascinated by the sight of a naked har, she had lost some of her own fear of revealing herself. Lileem's rampant curiosity was often a blessing. She began to undress and Ulaume said, 'Come on, Flick, take part. I can give Lileem a biology lesson with you as the subject for dissection.'

'Thanks,' Flick said.

Never could Flick have imagined that one day he'd be lying on his back, legs spread, while someone described his parts and their functions to someone who'd never seen anything like them before. Lileem explained to Ulaume what had happened to her and Ulaume said, 'When the soume-lam is stimulated, it can bite, believe me! It has five energy centres within it, almost like five c.l.i.torises. Humans would have loved to possess such a thing. It often has a mind of its own, more so than the ouana-lim, which is a bit of a reversal to the way things used to be with humans. The ouana-lim itself is refined as a male organ, and much improved. I can vouch for it.'

'It's quite pretty,' Lileem said, pointing at Flick. 'I saw the pictures of humans and they were scraggy.'

'As you can see, we do have organs similar to t.e.s.t.i.c.l.es, but they are smaller and can be withdrawn into the body during aruna and I expect during birth. You can push them up yourself, like this.'

'Have you quite finished!' Flick said, flinching. 'This is a bit much.'

'OK, let's have a look at you,' Ulaume said to Lileem.

'I'm not the same, not quite,' she said shyly, sitting down.

Ulaume gently pushed her back and parted her knees. 'Hmm. That's interesting. Flick, what do you think?'

The soume-lam looked normal, but the ouana-lim was less developed than in a normal har and she had vestigial seed sacs. Her body was slightly wider around the hips than a normal har's and there was still the suggestion of b.r.e.a.s.t.s upon the chest. 'She's not completely female,' Flick said, 'but the male side of things does appear to be underdeveloped.'

'I think,' Ulaume said, moving away, 'that you are har, Lee, but you have physical abnormalities, like a birth defect.'

'Oh,' Lileem said, sitting up again and clasping her knees. 'So, what does that mean for me?'

'I think it means we need to know more. Try stimulating the soume-lam yourself and see what happens. I don't think we should rush into anything, because you're still so young.'

'But Rofalor says feybraiha happens when harlings are six or seven,' Lileem said, 'so doesn't that mean I'm more than old enough?'

'Your feminine aspects are dominant,' Ulaume said. 'Hara don't have b.r.e.a.s.t.s, but you do, even though they're small.'

'You said once that some hara do. I remember.'

'I know, but it's not the same. In humans, some men had quite fleshy chests and in hara it's no more than that. Your body is also more female-shaped than ours. I don't think we should take risks. If feybraiha is upon you, and you need aruna, you must try to do it yourself.'

'Oh.' For a moment, she appeared almost crestfallen, then she grinned. 'I'm glad we did this. I feel so much better. There are no secrets now.'

'But for Mima's,' Flick said. 'I wonder if she is the same.'

Mima was back on the boat by morning, but reluctant to speak to anyone. Flick could tell she was suffering and eventually could bear her silence no longer. She was sitting alone on the prow and he went to sit beside her. 'It's no big thing, Mima. Forget it.'

'Did you find out what you needed to know?'

'Yes, I think so. There's no doubt in my mind that Lee is harish rather than human, but just that she has certain abnormalities. Ulaume called them birth defects. I think he's right.'

'I'm not like you,' Mima said. 'I can't be blase about this. I'm not even like Lee, who has no feelings of shame or guilt. I don't have Wraeththu innocence.'

'We are not innocent,' Flick said, 'don't ever look on it like that.'

'Does she still want to be called 'she'?'

'She hasn't mentioned it. The female aspect is very strong in her though.'

'I don't,' Mima said. 'I don't want to be what I am. If I have to be alive, I want to be like you, but I'm not.'

'How do you know?'

'It won't work with me,' Mima said. 'Forget it. I don't have things happen to me like Lee did. I'm dead in that way.'

'Well, if you ever want to talk about it...'

'Don't patronise me, Flick. I'm sorry I went off like that last night, but it's just so hard for me.'

'Be at rest,' Flick said. 'We are heading into new territory and this should concern us more than anything. We could find out about Pell in Galhea.'

Mima nodded, staring ahead up the river. 'Yeah.'

Just after mid-day, a Parsic patrol ordered them to halt. They were a magnificent sight: black clad hara, wearing black plumed helmets, on horses with black glossy coats. There were five of them and at their signal, Ulaume steered the boat over to the bank. They carried guns.

'What is your business, tiahaara?' enquired their leader.

'We are seeking work in Galhea,' Ulaume said.

'How many travel on this boat?'

'Four,' Ulaume replied. 'Do we need permits or something?'

'We will escort you to the council house in town,' said the Parsic, 'but first we must search your vessel.'

'Of course,' Ulaume said.

Flick, lurking behind him, went cold. Mima and Lileem were below deck. As the Parsic troupe leader and his deputy dismounted and came aboard, he shot into the main cabin and hissed, 'Look busy. Look as if you're working, not hiding. We have guests.'

Fortunately, Lileem and Mima were already sorting through some of the materials Lileem had collected on their journey. While Ulaume and Flick worked in the fields, they planned to create more artefacts to sell.

The two Parsics came into the room and Mima stood up and bowed. 'Greetings, tiahaara. May we offer you refreshment?'

The leader took off his helm and a long brown plait fell down over his shoulder. 'What have you got?'

'Wine and coffee from the Unneah.'

The Parsic leader inclined his head. 'A measure of wine would be most welcome.'

Lileem got up rather furtively. 'I'll see to it.'

The Parsic sat down at the table, while his a.s.sistant made a cursory search of the room. He rifled through Lileem's collection of stones, feathers, leaves and bird bones. 'What are these?'

'We make charms,' Mima said. 'We sell them for fuel and food, and so on.'

'Travellers,' said the troupe leader. 'What was your tribe originally? Are you Zigane?'

'We come from all over,' Mima said smoothly. 'You know how it is. We just met up and became friends and decided to live on the water. We like it.'

Flick was impressed by her cool.

'Were any of you connected to the Uigenna?' asked the Parsic.

Mima laughed. 'You think we'd admit it if we were?'

He laughed back. 'I doubt it.'

'But we weren't in any case. We had to head east because they took our little settlement from us. They wanted slaves. They are disgusting.'

'You won't have to worry about them any more,' said the Parsic. 'If you send a pet.i.tion to Lord Swift, Parasiel might even be able to help you reclaim your land.'

'Really? That's amazing,' said Mima as Lileem put down cups of wine on the table. 'But, you know, we've kind of got used to travelling. It's great to see the land, and experience the seasons. We really love this life now, even though we were forced into it really.'

The troupe leader narrowed his eyes at her. 'You know, you look slightly familiar.'

'How so?' Mima asked brazenly.

The Parsic shook his head, laughed beneath his breath. 'No. It's nothing. I pay no heed to the stories that say the Tigron sometimes travels in disguise among his hara.'

Mima shot Flick a hot glance. 'You say I look like him? Have you met him?'

Flick stared at her hard, willing her not to block his thoughts: shut up! shut up!

'Not met met exactly,' said the Parsic. 'I went to Immanion once, with Lord Swift. Caught a glimpse, that's all.' exactly,' said the Parsic. 'I went to Immanion once, with Lord Swift. Caught a glimpse, that's all.'

'You've been to Immanion?' said Mima, eyes round. 'I'd love to hear about it. It's like a dream.'

'Perhaps we could meet while you are in Galhea,' said the Parsic. 'I am Chelone. You can look me up at the barracks.'

'Thanks,' said Mima. 'I'll take you up on that.'

After the Parsics had left, and Ulaume had gone with them to acquire official permission for them to dock their boat in Galhea and work there, Flick gave vent to his feelings. 'Are you insane? Don't you dare go the barracks, Mima! It's far too dangerous. You know what he wants from you. Would you risk being found out?'

'He thinks I'm a charming har who looks like the Tigron,' Mima said. 'What harm would there be in having a drink with him one night? This is what we came for, isn't it?'

'Ulaume and I won't let you,' Flick said. 'At least...' He sighed. 'Not alone.'