Real Life In London Part 78

"Why," said Bob, "this Hospital is more like a Palace."

"It is," replied Tom, "a n.o.ble monument of National grat.i.tude to its defenders, who deserve to be protected and a.s.sisted when disabled for service. Here the lame, the wounded, and the aged, are enabled to spin out the thread of a useful existence, in comfortable retirement. It was founded by William and Mary for invalid seamen, and many an old Commodore and gallant hardy Tar is ~159~~ preserved in this establishment, after being doused from his pins, to puff old sorrow away and sing,

"Yet still I am enabled To bring up in life's rear, Although I'm quite disabled And lie in Greenwich tier.

The King, G.o.d bless his Majesty, Who sav'd me from the main, I'll praise with Love and Loyalty, But ne'er to sea again."

"You perceive," continued he, "that the costume of the place is a suit of blue, with proper distinctions of rank and station allotted to each."

"But," inquired Bob, "some of them appear to have their coats turned inside out; is that according to choice?"--"Not so," replied Tosi, "that is a mark of disgrace, by way of punishment, for some errors or improprieties of which they have been guilty; and there are some, in spite of misfortune, who cannot forget former times, and occasionally verify the words of the song--

"So in misfortune's school grown tough, In this same sort of knowledge, Thinking mayhap I'd had enough, They sent me here to College.

And here we tell old tales and smoke, And laugh while we are drinking; Sailors, you know, will have their joke, E'en though the s.h.i.+p were sinking.

For I while I get grog to drink My wife, or friend, or King in, 'Twill be no easy thing, I think, D---- me to spoil my singing."

And although used to severe discipline on board a s.h.i.+p, they do sometimes forget what they are subject to here, and "slip the cable upon an ocean of grog," grow dizzy over the binnacle, uns.h.i.+p the rudder, lose their calculations, and stand too far out to sea to reach the intended Port; but more of this presently. You perceive this magnificent structure consists of four grand buildings, completely separated from each other; yet forming a very entire and most beautiful plan--especially viewed from the river, which runs in the front of it.

Here the comforts and ~160~~ conveniences of the hardy veterans, who have faced the enemies of their country in many fearful encounters, are studied, when they can no longer give the word of command, or answer it in such active services. The four different buildings you now see, contain accommodations for bed and board for about 2600 persons of different ranks and stations; and you may perceive by those you have before you, that the ranks they have formerly held in his Majesty's employ are still visible in their outward habiliments."

They were now in the centre of the building, approaching the edge of the Thames, on whose bosom were seen sundry small vessels, gliding in majestic pride; and perceiving a seat capable of holding four or five persons, in the corner of which sat an old weather-beaten tar, in a gold-laced hat and coat, with a wooden leg, who was watching with apparent delight one of the larger vessels, with all her sails set to catch the breeze; they took a seat alongside of him.

"Come," said the Hon. Tom Dashall, "we may here at ase survey the exertions of such as still retain the power, and contemplate the comforts of those who no longer have powers to exert." The Pensioner remained in mute attention to the moving scene on the river, occasionally smiling and squirting from his jaws the acc.u.mulating essence of his quid, seeming at the same time to enjoy in retrospection scenes similar to what he had formerly been engaged in, but without bestowing one look on our Heroes. "There is a fine fresh breeze down the river," continued Tom, addressing the wooden legged warrior; and then a pause ensued--but no reply.

"It is a beautiful situation for retirement in old age," said Bob. "I should think, Sir," said he, "that you must be very comfortable under this protecting roof," determined, if possible, to elicit something from the hardy old Pensioner, approaching a little closer to him, and at the same time to take his attention, respectfully moving his hat.

Tins address, however, was received with nearly the same effect as the previous observations, except that the veteran moved his hat in return.

"He is a churlish old blade," said Tom; thinking by this remark to rouse and animate the blood of their taciturn companion.--"There seems to be no intelligence in him. Pray, Sir," continued he, "may I be so bold as to inquire, laying his hand upon ~161~~ his knee, what is the name of that vessel on which you appear to bestow so many anxious looks?"

Roused by the touch, he darted a hasty look at Tom, and then at Bob, started hastily from his seat, held up his stick, as they supposed, in a menacing att.i.tude, then shouldering it, he marched, or rather hobbled, on his wooden pin some paces from them, and, with an air of commanding authority, returned in front of them, took off his hat, and began to describe two lines on the gravel, but which was to them perfectly unintelligible.

However, in a few minutes, the arrival of a younger Pensioner, with one arm and a wooden stump, in breathless haste, informed them that the old gentleman was deaf and dumb.

"G.o.d bless you, my worthy masters," said the interpreter, who first paid his respects to the old Commodore, "you have started my revered commander on his high ropes; he is as deaf as the top-lights, and as dumb as a stantion: two and twenty years ago, your Honors, he and I were both capsized together on board; the shot that took off his leg splintered my arm, and the doctor kindly took it off for me afterwards."

"That was a lamentable day for you," said Tom. "Why aye, for the matter of that there, d'ye see, it disabled us from sarvice, but then we both of us had some consolation, for we have never been separated since: besides, we were better off than poor Wattie the cook, who had his head taken off by a chain-shot, and was made food for sharks, while we are enabled to stump about the world with the use of our remaining limbs, and that there's a comfort, you know."

During this introductory conversation, the old Commodore was intent upon the work he had began, which, upon inquiry, was a sort of practical description of the situation in which the s.h.i.+ps were placed at the period when he lost his limb. "He is now pouring in a broadside, and in imagination enjoying a part of his life over again. It is a sorry sight, my worthy Sirs, and yet upon the whole it is a cheerful one, to see an old man live his time over again; now he is physicing them with

grape-shot--Bang--Bang--like hail--my eyes how she took it--Go it again, my boys, said the old Commodore--Ditto repeated, as the Doctor used to say. D----m the Doctor; the words were scarcely out of his mouth, when down he ~162~~ went; and as I stood alongside him, ready to attend to his orders, I was very near being sent down the hatchway stairs without a.s.sistance; for the same shot that doused my old master, carried away my arm just here.--" D----me," said the old man, to his brave crew, as they carried us down to the c.o.c.kpit--"I shall never forget it as long as I live--That was a pepperer--Once more, my boys, and the day's your own.--My eyes, he had hardly said the words, before--Bang, bang, went our bull dogs--and sure enough it was all over. They cried Piccavi, and went to the Doctor; but after that I know no more about the matter--we were a long while before we got the better of our wounds; and as for him, he has never spoken since--and as to hearing, I believe he never wished to hear any more, than that the enemies of his country had got a good drubbing."

By this time the old gentleman having gone through his manouvres, with perhaps as much accuracy as my Uncle Toby did the siege of Dendermond--having blown up the enemy with a flourish of his stick, made a profound bow, and hobbled away.--"Thank you, my friend," said the Hon.

Tom Dashall, "for your information; we should never have understood him without your a.s.sistance, for which accept of this, and our best wishes--giving him a couple of half-crowns, with which, after thanking the donors, he made the best of his way in search of the old Commodore, who put our heroes forcibly in mind of the following lines:

"What a d----d bad time for a seaman to sculk, Under gingerbread hatches on sh.o.r.e; What a d----d hard job that this battered old hulk, Can't be rigg'd out for sea once more."

"Thus you see," said Dashall, "how our habits become rooted in us: the old Commodore, though unable to give the word of command, or to hear the thunder of the cannon, still lives in the midst of the battle, becomes warmed and animated by the imaginary heat of the engagement, and

"Thrice he routed all his foes, And thrice he slew the slain."

"But come, we will now proceed to a view of the Chapel, the Painted Hall, and the other curiosities of the ~163~~ interior; which done, we will take our refreshment at the Crown, and pursue our way home."

They now took another cursory survey of this magnificent pile of buildings, the grandeur and effect of which is scarcely to be imagined; the beauty and variety being heightened by the grand square, and the area beyond terminating with a view of the Observatory, which stands on a hill in Greenwich Park.

Tallyho was next delighted with a view of the Chapel, which is 111 feet long, and 52 broad, and capable of conveniently accommodating 1000 Pensioners, nurses, and boys, exclusive of pews for the Directors, the several officers of the establishment, &c--The altar-piece, painted by West, representing The escape of St. Paul from s.h.i.+pwreck on the Island of Malta, and the paintings between the cornice and the ceiling of the Ascension, by the same artist, claimed particular attention. The splendid decorations of the Great Hall, with its variety of paintings and statues, were also objects of peculiar admiration, the effect of which must be seen to be duly appreciated. After these gratifications, according to the proposal of Dashall, they retired, to the Crown, where having partaken of a good dinner, and a gla.s.s of wine, they returned to town, fully satisfied with their excursion, and arrived in Piccadilly without any occurrence worthy of further remark.

CHAPTER XII

And have you not heard of a jolly young Waterman, At Blackfriar's Bridge who is used still to ply!

Who feathers his oars with such skill and dexterity.

Winning each heart, and delighting each eye: He looks So neat, and he rows so steadily, The maidens all flock to his boat so readily, And he eyes the young rogues with so charming an air That this Waterman ne'er is in want of a fare.

~164~~ IT was in one of those inviting mornings, mild and temperate, that Dashall and Tallyho, lounged along Piccadilly, observant of pa.s.sing events, and antic.i.p.ating those of more interest which might occur in the course of another day devoted to the investigation of Real Life in London.

The street already exhibited its usual bustle. The early coaches were rattling along on their way to their respective inns, loaded with pa.s.sengers, inside and out, from the western parts of the country; the ponderous waggon, the brewer's dray, and not less stunning din of the lighter and more rapid vehicles, from the splendid chariot to the humble tax-cart, combined to annoy the auricular organs of the contemplative perambulator, and together with the incessant discord of the dust-bell, accompanied by the hoa.r.s.e stentorian voice of its athletic artist, induced Squire Tallyho to accelerate his pace, in order to escape, as he said, "this conspiration of villainous sounds," more dissonant than that of his hounds at fault, and followed by his friend Dashall, slackened not his speed, until he reached the quietude of the new street leading to the King's Palace, in Pall Mall.

In Regent Place (at the extremity of this fine street) the two friends paused in admiration of the n.o.ble pile of buildings, which had on this new interesting spot so rapidly risen, as if by the direction of that necromantic and nocturnal architect, the Genius of the Wonderful Lamp.

~165~~ "Until lately, Carlton House, or more properly, now the King's Palace, was hid from observation, and the Royal view, in front of his princely mansion, was bounded to the opposite side of the way, the distance of a few yards only; now the eye enjoys a perspective glance of a s.p.a.cious and magnificent street, terminating in a handsome public edifice, and yet terminating in appearance only, for here the new improvements sweep shortly to the left, and our attention is attracted to a superb circus, or quadrant, from whence without further deviation, Regent Street continues in lengthened magnificence, until it unites itself in affinity of grandeur with Great Portland Place."

Thus far had Dashall proceeded, when the Squire expressed his surprise that the new street had not been so planned as to lead, in one direct and uninterrupted line, from Pall Mall to its ultimate termination.

"Then indeed," answered his friend, "it would have been one of the finest streets in the world." "Here too," continued the Squire, "is a manifest deficiency in Regent Place, there is a vacuum, it ought to be supplied with something, be it what it may, for the eye to rest on."

"True, and your idea has been antic.i.p.ated. One of the most interesting amongst the antiquities of Egypt, the column known as Cleopatra's Needle{1} is destined to raise

1 CLEOPATRA'S NEEDLE.

The Court of Common Council + Fogrum, Botlieram, Gotham, &c. a full meeting.

Fog. (Laying down a newspaper.) The City should be told of it.--They say That Cleopatra's Needle's to be stuck In front of Carlton House!

Got. They'll make the square A pin-cus.h.i.+on.

Bot. No! worse--a needle-case.

Has my Lord Sidmouth sent no letter yet To my Lord Mayor!--It should be pasted up.

Fog. 'Tis said the Deptford Sheer-hulk has been cleared Of all its vagabonds, to bring it here.

Hot. This beats Whitechapel hollow. What's its weight?

Fog. About three hundred tons.

Bot. All solid steel?

A pond'rous weapon for a lady's handling!