Enquire Within Upon Everything Part 159

We have adopted the foregoing Paragraph because we approve of some of its sentiments, but chiefly because it shows that persons who object to affectation may go to the other extreme--vulgarity. It is vulgar, we think, to call even the most affected people "jackanapes, who screw their words into all manner of diabolical shapes." Avoid vulgarity in manner, in speech, and in correspondence. To conduct yourself vulgarly is to offer offence to those who are around you; to bring upon yourself the condemnation of persons of good taste; and to incur the penalty of exclusion from good society. Thus, cast among the vulgar, you become the victim of your own error.

1995. Avoid Swearing.

An oath is but the wrath of a perturbed spirit. It is _mean_. A man of high moral standing would rather treat an offence with contempt than show his indignation by an oath. It is _vulgar_, altogether too low for a decent man. It is _cowardly_, implying a fear either of not being believed or obeyed. It is _ungentlemanly_, A gentleman, according to Webster, is a _genteel_ man--well-bred, refined. It is _indecent_, offensive to delicacy, and extremely unfit for human ears.

It is _foolish_. "Want of decency is want of sense." It is _abusive_--to the mind which conceives the oath, to the tongue which utters it, and to the person at whom it is aimed. It is _venomous_, showing a man's heart to be as a nest of vipers; and every time he swears, one of them starts out from his head. It is _contemptible_, forfeiting the respect of all the wise and good. It is _wicked_, violating the Divine law, and provoking the displeasure of Him who will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.

1996. Be a Gentleman.

Moderation, decorum, and neatness distinguish the gentleman; he is at all times affable, diffident, and studious to please. Intelligent and polite, his behaviour is pleasant and graceful. When he enters the dwelling of an inferior, he endeavours to hide, if possible, the difference between their ranks of life; ever willing to a.s.sist those around him, he is neither unkind, haughty, nor over-bearing. In the mansions of the rich, the correctness of his mind induces him to bend to etiquette, but not to stoop to adulation; correct principle cautions him to avoid the gaming-table, inebriety, or any other foible that could occasion him self-reproach. Gratified with the pleasures of reflection, he rejoices to see the gaieties of society, and is fastidious upon no point of little import. Appear only to be a gentleman, and its shadow will bring upon you contempt; be a gentleman, and its honours will remain even after you are dead.

1997. The Happy Man, or True Gentleman.

How happy is he born or taught, That serveth not another's will, Whose armour is his honest thought, And simple truth his only skill:

Whose pa.s.sions not his masters are.

Whose soul is still prepared for death Not tied unto the world with care Of prince's ear, or vulgar breath:

Who hath his life from rumours freed, Whose conscience is his strong retreat Whose state can neither flatterers feed.

Nor ruin make oppressors great,

Who G.o.d doth late and early pray More of His grace than gifts to lend; And entertains the harmless day With a well-chosen book or friend;

This man is freed from servile bands, Of hope to rise or fear to fall; Lord of himself, though not of lands, And having nothing, yet hath all.

_Sir Henry Wotton_, 1530.

[RICHES ARE BUT THE BAGGAGE OF FORTUNE.]

1998. Be Honest.

Not only because "honesty is the best policy," but because it is a duty to G.o.d and to man. The heart that can be gratified by dishonest gains; the ambition that can be satisfied by dishonest means; the mind that can be devoted to dishonest purposes, must be of the worst order.

1999. General Principles.

Having laid down these General Principles for the government of personal conduct, we will epitomize what we would still enforce:

2000. Idleness.

Avoid Idleness. It is the parent of many evils. Can you pray, "Give us this day our daily bread," and not hear the reply, "Do thou this day thy daily duty"?

2001. Idle Tales.

Avoid telling Idle Tales, which is like firing arrows in the dark: you know not into whose heart they may fall.

2002. Self-Praise.

Avoid talking about yourself, praising your own works, and proclaiming your own deeds. If they are good they will proclaim themselves, if bad, the less you say of them the better.

2003. Envy.

Avoid Envy; for it cannot benefit you, nor can it injure those against whom it is cherished.

2004. Disputation.

Avoid Disputation for the mere sake of argument. The man who disputes obstinately, and in a bigoted spirit, is like the man who would stop the fountain from which he should drink. Earnest discussion is commendable; but factious argument never yet produced a good result.

2005. Kindness.

Be Kind in Little Things.--The true generosity of the heart is more displayed by deeds of minor kindness, than by acts which may partake of ostentation.

2006. Politeness.

Be Polite.--Politeness is the poetry of conduct--and like poetry, it has many qualities. Let not your politeness be too florid, but of that gentle kind which indicates a refined nature.

2007. Sociable.

Be Sociable--avoid reserve in society. Remember that the social elements, like the air we breathe, are purified by motion. Thought illumines thought, and smiles win smiles.

2008. Punctuality.

Be Punctual.--One minute too late has lost many a golden opportunity.

Besides which, the want of punctuality is an affront offered to the person to whom your presence is due.

2009. Hints.

The foregoing Remarks may be said to apply to the moral conduct, rather than, to the details of personal manners. Great principles, however, suggest minor ones; and hence, from the principles laid down, many hints upon personal behaviour may be gathered.

2010. Hearty.

Be Hearty in your salutations, discreet and sincere in your friends.h.i.+ps.