Castles On The Sand Part 21

Her face crumples with disappointment for a split second, and then she turns to me and looks me over, very much like Alex does. "You're from his school?"

"Yeah. Hi. My name's Madison."

"Madison, right. I know you. Your mother works at the market."

"She's a potter." I'm not sure what she even means by "market". Supermarket? Crafts stall? Probably not worth obsessing about.

She looks sidelong at Alex and says something I don't catch. It takes a few seconds for me to realize she's speaking in j.a.panese.

That I might have expected, but what I do not expect is for Alex to respond, also in j.a.panese. All these years I wondered if he talked at all, and he's actually bilingual? "'Kay, Mom, English," he says. "Don't be rude. Come on. Let's go eat."

"McDonald's?"

"There isn't a McDonald's in town, but it's okay. I got all the toys that you missed."

"No McDonald's?" This seems to genuinely distress her.

Alex puts his hands on her shoulders and looks her straight in the eye. Whatever he says, he says in j.a.panese, but his tone is calm, soothing.

She listens, then nods. "No Burger King?"

"All they have is Subway."

"Subway doesn't give toys."

"I know, I know." More j.a.panese. He puts his arm around her and guides her out the door. I follow and try not to feel like a third wheel. The two of them have their heads together as they cross the parking lot to his car, but at the sight of all the toys in the back seat she breaks free and presses her nose to the gla.s.s, chattering excitedly.

"Yeah," Alex switches back to English, "I told you I got them all."

I wonder where his mother keeps all these toys. Is there an entire room of their house filled to the ceiling, like what you see on doc.u.mentaries about h.o.a.rding?

He opens the door to the back seat and she climbs in, picking up each toy in turn and sorting it by some system I can't grasp. Some go on the seat, some in one footwell, some in the other, and some get tossed up by the rear window.

"Here," Alex gets my attention. He's holding open the pa.s.senger side door for me.

And here I am just staring at his mother. How rude. I duck in, my face flushed with heat.

What I expect to happen next is for Alex to drive us to a local fast food restaurant, or maybe a diner, but before I know it, we've pulled up to a restaurant that is much nicer than anywhere I've ever been. My mom and I don't do restaurants. Everything in Pelican Bluffs is way out of our budget. I've only ever been in one a few times in my life. Once for Kailie's eighth birthday party, which she had at the Montroses' grill, and another was for her thirteenth, which she had at a seafood place down the coast.

Grace seems critical of it, nattering away in an irritated tone of voice, and Alex replies patiently. "Sorry," he says to me. "She's picky and this is the only sus.h.i.+ place for, like, fifteen miles."

Sus.h.i.+? I know exactly two things about sus.h.i.+. One is that it's raw fish, but I couldn't care less about that. The other is that it's outrageously expensive. Calm, I tell myself. I've got my credit card. I can pay my share. We'll figure it out. Just don't make the situation awkward.

We all get out and I follow Alex and his mother into a place that looks like it's straight out of a design magazine. The furniture is all light wood with delicate, clean lines and each table is made out of granite, or something that looks an awful lot like it. The sort of surface I only see in the homes of people who live bluffside. A smiling waiter greets us and smiles even wider when Grace answers him in j.a.panese. The two carry on a conversation as he takes us to a table and we all sit down.

Keep your face blank, I tell myself, though I know I must look like I'm being tortured. I'm seated next to Grace. Alex is across from her, and the table settings have only chopsticks and little cups for tea, the kind that don't have handles. I have a hard enough time with a knife and fork when I'm nervous. I've never even held chopsticks before.

The waiter plops down menus in front of us, and I'm relieved to see they're in English, but that relief is short lived when I see the prices. The appetizers begin at eighteen dollars. Even worse, Alex notices my expression.

"Raw fish not your thing?"

"No, no, that's... no. It's fine."

"You sure? There's other stuff." He starts listing things that could be food items, or could be building materials for all I know. It's all too foreign.

And I know I'm making the situation worse by being uptight. Lying won't help me here, not even white lies. I can't pull them off right now. "I... I didn't mean to crash a really nice meal with your mom," I say, fully aware that Grace is sitting right next to me and understands every word. "I just thought... I don't know what I thought."

Grace reaches over and pats my shoulder. "You're a nice girl. Very well brought up. So polite." She s.n.a.t.c.hes my menu. "We will order. You just try things. It's okay if you don't like it. Have you ever had j.a.panese food before?"

I shake my head. "Nooo. I'm not very cultured like that."

"Cultured? See, such a nice girl. Not like one of these people who turns up their nose. Alex, where did you find this nice girl?"

"She found me, Mom. And I have no idea why she's hanging around."

"No, you don't say that about yourself."

"Mom, I'm going to court on Tuesday for attacking a police officer. Nice girls aren't usually into guys like that."

I look at Grace, shrug, and say. "Guess I'm not a nice girl, then."

She cracks up and pats my shoulder. "You are a very nice girl. Maybe you can help keep him out of trouble. Do you go to his church?"

I shake my head.

"Seem to be nice people at his church." She turns her attention back to her menu and resumes speaking j.a.panese. She and Alex argue over items, pointing at various places on the page, and then when the waiter comes back, they talk to him long enough that I'm sure they are not ordering off the menu, but rather making it up and seeing what they can get. The only words I understand are at the end, when Alex says, "and tea. You want tea, Madison?"

I frown at the teacup. "I'm afraid I'll drop this."

"No, you hold it like this." Grace takes my hand and shows me how to pinch it between my thumb and index finger, holding only the rim and the bottom. "Then it doesn't burn you."

"Tea for these two and ice water," says Alex.

The waiter bows and leaves.

"Is now a bad time to say I don't know how to use chopsticks?"

"We don't use chopsticks for sus.h.i.+," says Grace. "We eat it with our hands. Much easier."

The waiter deposits a bowl of what look like unsh.e.l.led peas on the table. Alex shows me how to split each pod open and pop the beans into my mouth. "Edamame," he says. "Soybeans."

They taste pretty nice, actually.

What comes next is miso soup, which Grace doesn't approve of. "They made the water too hot."

"It's fine, Mom."

Even though I see them both do it, I hesitate before picking up the bowl and drinking out of it. This just feels wrong, but there are no spoons. It's very salty, almost like what I imagine hot seawater would taste like.

"His is better," she tells me. "He's a very good cook."

Alex knows how to cook?

He just smirks, though. "If I could, Mom, I'd bring you miso soup every day."

"When can I come home?"

He looks down into his bowl. "I don't know. Like I said, I'm working on it."

But Grace is agitated now and Alex switches back to j.a.panese, reaching across the table to hold her hands and look her right in the eye as he talks. After a few minutes, Grace slouches in her seat and appears resigned to the situation.

More food arrives and I just try whatever they put in front of me. Despite what Grace said, she and Alex do use their chopsticks to do things like mix wasabe with the soy sauce and to grab things off plates, but they switch to using their hands to eat the sus.h.i.+ itself, so I don't feel too awkward. It's actually pretty good and I manage not to drop anything on the floor or down my front. The seaweed has a papery texture and a salty taste, while the fish tastes not too different from cooked fish. What amazes me is the craftsmans.h.i.+p that's gone into each item. It's obvious why it costs as much as it does.

Every piece I eat wins me a broad grin from Alex's mother, as if this meal is some sort of test and I'm pa.s.sing with flying colors. She leans in close and tells me, "You are a very nice girl. Why are you with my son, hmm? You know he's trouble, right?"

"I heard that, Mom."

"He's been nice to me," I say.

She gives him a longsuffering look and shakes her head before plucking more sus.h.i.+ rolls off the serving plate with her chopsticks and dropping them on mine. It feels a little strange to drink hot tea with a meal, and I notice Alex doesn't. He just drinks water.

We make it ten minutes before Grace begins to argue with someone who isn't there. It's in j.a.panese, so I don't know what it's about. This, I finally feel prepared for. This is one of the symptoms Alex mentioned.

He watches her, listening, and I can tell he's trying to decide whether to intervene or let it go on. I just keep eating until she turns, grabs my arm, and snaps something at me.

Calm, I think. She doesn't see me right now. She sees someone or something else. I take her hand in mine and hold it a minute. She blinks, focuses on me, and reaches out to touch my face. I sit still and let her. I wonder if feeling my face helps her know what's real and what's an illusion. Does her condition make things feel different too? She blinks a few times, then pats my cheek as if nothing's happened and resumes eating.

I follow her cue, though I can feel Alex's gaze on me. When I look up at him, I can't quite read his expression. He looks away after a second.

The next time she starts to talk to someone who isn't there, I don't even look up.

Forty minutes later, the waiter comes to clear the plates and, miraculously, I don't feel like a complete idiot. I've survived, even held my own in the conversation. Alex pays the bill, though, and just waves me off when I try to contribute. His mother pats my arm and tells me again what a nice girl I am.

And then it's time to take Grace back. I can tell that she knows it. Alex puts his arm around her on the walk back to the car and the two of them talk. I sit in the back seat this time and do my best to stay un.o.btrusive, but as we head closer to the mental facility, Grace starts to get agitated. "I want to go home."

"I know, Mom. But it'll be okay. We're going to get you moved soon."

"Home?"

"I don't know."

"Why can't I go home?"

"I'm working on it, okay?"

Once we're within sight of the hospital, she breaks down in tears.

I make myself as small as possible, willing the two of them not to notice me as Alex tries to soothe her. In the walk across the parking lot to the front door, I hang back several paces while he stays with her, again, with an arm around her shoulders. I can't hear what they say, but I get the gist. Grace is scared and homesick and doesn't want him to leave. My heart breaks for her.

When we step inside, everything gets worse. The receptionist summons two guys in scrubs who each grab her by the arm. She lets out an ear piercing shriek.

"Let her go," says Alex. "Don't grab."

But the two ignore him and one puts her in a kind of headlock. She sobs and screams and struggles and I can tell that she's not just seeing the guys in scrubs anymore. She feels trapped and surrounded by who knows what. Of course she's terrified.

"Stop it!" shouts Alex.

One of the guys blocks him.

I duck past both of them and get in front of Grace. "Let her go," I say.

"We're just calming her down," says the hospital worker.

"Grace," I say. I put my hand over hers. "It's okay. Really." Her eyes focus on me for a second, and then the worker hauls her away towards the elevator. She whimpers, then goes limp and sobs. I've never seen anyone treated that way. She's a grown woman, not a bratty child.

"You stay where you are, or I'm calling security," the other man in scrubs says to Alex. I turn and see him standing, helpless, his hands balled into fists and his jaw working with anger as he stares after his mother. The receptionist babbles some inanity about how glad she is that Grace is back, but Alex doesn't even acknowledge it. He turns on his heel and storms out.

"Hey!" the hospital worker yells after him. "You're welcome. We're only keeping your mother safe."

I want to say, "Is that what you call it?" but I bite back the words. Mouthing off will probably just make the situation worse. I dart through the sliding doors after Alex and step outside just in time to see him kick the wall, hard enough to break his foot, I'm sure, but he doesn't even wince.

I watch him struggle for control, then turn around and slide down to sit on the pavement, his head between his knees. The sun is setting, so the whole parking lot is bathed in rich, gold light, which feels all wrong right now. This is a bleak moment.

I go sit next to him.

"Sorry," he mutters.

"You've got nothing to apologize for."

"You helped, a lot."

"I tried to help, but I'm not sure it did any good."

"It did." He runs his fingers through his hair, flipping it back from his face. "She didn't try to give me her watch at least."

"Her watch?"

"It's a suicide thing. People give away important stuff when they don't want to live anymore. I hate this." He exhales what sounds an awful lot like a sob, then folds his arms over his face and starts to cry. Not something I ever thought I'd see tough, mean Alex Katsumoto do.

I feel like I'm intruding again on a private moment and try to think of something to say to let him know that I understand. Except, I'm not sure I do understand. I could imagine my mom angry and upset if someone took her from her pottery, but you could lock her up anywhere with a potters wheel and clay and she'd be fine with it. Losing me wouldn't make her this sad. I try to comprehend exactly how much sadness it would take to make someone like Alex cry.

This whole afternoon, watching a family that has so much that is obviously wrong with it, I'm shocked by the feeling that underneath it all, Alex and his mother have it fundamentally right. You're supposed to love each other this much. You're supposed to cry when you think of the other person being hurt. I wonder if my brother would cry like this if I got locked up in a mental hospital.

I know the answer before I can even complete the thought. Yes. He would. He barely knows me, but I know that if I don't call him to tell him I'm okay in a few minutes, he really will call around Pelican Bluffs to get people to help him find me.

"You pity me?" Alex asks. He says it with disgust, as if he's somehow beneath my regard and knows it.

I weigh my answer carefully. "I admire you."