The Master of Mrs. Chilvers Part 9

JAWBONES I 'ave, wot's left of me.

SIGSBY What have you been doing?

JAWBONES Clinging to a roof for the last three hours.

SIGSBY Clinging to a roof! What for?

JAWBONES [He boils over.] Wot for? 'Cos I didn't want to fall off! Wot do you think: 'cos I was fond of it?

SIGSBY I don't understand -

JAWBONES You find yourself 'alf way up a ladder, posting bills as the other side 'as took objection to--with a crowd of girls from Pink's jam factory waiting for you at the bottom with a barrel of treacle, and you WILL understand. Nothing else for me to do, o'

course, but to go up. Then they took the ladder away.

SIGSBY Where are the bills?

JAWBONES Last I see of them was their being put into a 'ea.r.s.e on its way to Ilford Cemetery.

SIGSBY This has got to be seen into. This sort of thing can't be allowed to go on. [He s.n.a.t.c.hes up his hat.]

JAWBONES There's another suggestion I'd like to make.

SIGSBY [Pauses.]

JAWBONES That is, if this election is going to be fought fairly, that our side should be provided with 'at-pins.

SIGSBY [Grunts.] Tell Mrs. Chinn to keep that chop warm. [He goes out.]

GINGER [She begins to giggle. It grows into a shrill hee-haw.]

JAWBONES [He looks at her fixedly.]

GINGER [Her laugh, under the stern eye of JAWBONES, dies away.]

JAWBONES Ain't no crowd of you 'ere, you know. Nothing but my inborn chivalry to prevent my pulling your nose.

GINGER [Cowed, but simmering.] Chivalry! [A shrill snort.]

JAWBONES Yus. And don't you put a strain upon it neither.

Because I tell you straight, it's weakening.

GINGER [His sudden fierceness has completely cowed her.]

JAWBONES You wimmin -

[There re-enters Mrs. CHINN with a tray. He is between them.]

That's old Sigsby's chop?

MRS. CHINN Yes. He hasn't gone out again, has he?

JAWBONES I'll 'ave it. Get 'im another. Guess 'e won't be back for 'alf an hour.

MRS. CHINN He's nasty when his food ain't ready.

JAWBONES [He takes the tray from her.] Not your fault. Tell 'im I took it from you by brute force.

MRS. CHINN [She acquiesces with her usual even absence of all emotion.]

JAWBONES You needn't stop. Miss Rose Merton will do the waiting.

GINGER [Starts, then begins to collect her etceteras.]

MRS. CHINN Perhaps there'll be time to cook him another.

[She goes out.]

JAWBONES Take off that cover.

GINGER [She starts on a bolt for the door.]

JAWBONES [He is quite prepared. In an instant he is in front of her.] No, yer don't.

[A pause.]

Take off that cover.

GINGER [She still hesitates.]

JAWBONES If yer don't do what I tell yer, I'll 'ide yer. I'm in the mood.

GINGER [She takes off the cover.]

JAWBONES [He seats himself and falls to.] Now pour me out a cup of tea.

GINGER [Is pouring it out.]

JAWBONES Know why yer doing it?

GINGER [With shrill indignation.] Yus. Becos yer got me 'ere alone, yer beast, with only that cracked image of a Mrs. Chinn -

JAWBONES That'll do.

GINGER [It is sufficient. She stops.]

JAWBONES None of your insults agen a lady as I 'olds in 'igh respect. The rest of it is all right. Becos I've got yer 'ere alone. You wimmin, you think it's going to pay you to chuck law and order. You're out for a fight, are yer?

GINGER Yus, and we're going to win. Brute force 'as 'ad its d'y.

It's brains wot are going to rule the world. And we've got 'em.