The Master of Mrs. Chilvers Part 12

It's the joke of the thing that appears to have got hold of them.

They want to see what will happen.

GEOFFREY Man's fatal curiosity concerning the eternal feminine!

SIGSBY Yes, and they won't have to pay for it. That will be our department.

ST. HERBERT [To SIGSBY.] What do you think they'll do, supposing by any chance Mrs. Chilvers should head the poll?

SIGSBY How do you mean--"what'll they do?"

ST. HERBERT Do you think they'll claim the seat?

SIGSBY Claim the seat! What do you think they're out for--their health? Get another six months' advertis.e.m.e.nt, if they don't get anything else. Meanwhile what's our position--just at the beginning of our ministerial career?

GEOFFREY They will not claim the seat.

SIGSBY How do you know?

GEOFFREY I know my wife.

LAMB [After a moment's silence.] Quite sure you do?

GEOFFREY [Turns.]

LAMB Ever seen a sheep fighting mad? I have. d.a.m.ned sight worse than the old ram.

GEOFFREY She doesn't fight the ram.

LAMB [He makes a sweeping movement that takes in the room, the election--all things.] What's all this? We thought woman hadn't got the fighting instinct--that we "knew her." My boy, we're in the infants' cla.s.s.

SIGSBY If you want to be his Majesty's Under-Secretary for Home Affairs, you take my tip, guv'nor, you'll win this election.

GEOFFREY What more can I do than I'm doing? How can I countenance this sort of thing? [He indicates the posters.] Declare myself dead against the whole movement?

LAMB You'll do it later. May as well do it soon.

GEOFFREY Why must I do it?

LAMB Because you're beginning to find out what it means.

[A pause. The door is open. ANNYS is standing there.]

ANNYS Dare we venture into the enemy's camp?

[She enters, laughing, followed by ELIZABETH and PHOEBE. ANNYS is somewhat changed from the grave, dreamy ANNYS of a short week ago.

She is br.i.m.m.i.n.g over with vitality--excitement. There is a decisiveness, an egoism, about her that seems new to her. The women's skirts make a flutter. A breeze seems to have entered.

ANNYS runs to her husband. For the moment the election fades away.

They are all smiles, tenderness for one another.]

ANNYS Don't tell, will you? Mamma would be so shocked. Do you know you haven't been near me for three days?

GEOFFREY Umph! I like that. Where were you last night?

ANNYS Last night? In the neighbourhood of Leicester Square till three o'clock. Oh, Geoff, there's such a lot wants altering!

[She turns to greet the others.]

GEOFFREY Your ruining your health won't do it. You're looking f.a.gged to death.

ANNYS [She shakes hands with SIGSBY.] How are you? [To LAMB.]

I'm so glad you're helping him. [She turns again to GEOFFREY.]

Pure imagination, dearest. I never felt better in my life.

GEOFFREY Umph! Look at all those lines underneath your eyes. [He shakes hands with ELIZABETH.] How do you do? [To PHOEBE.] How are you?

ANNYS [She comes back to him--makes to smooth the lines from his forehead.] Look at all those, there. We'll run away together for a holiday, when it's all over. What are you doing this evening?

SIGSBY You promised to speak at a Smoker to-night; the Bow and Bromley Buffaloes.

ANNYS Oh, bother the Buffaloes. Take me out to dinner. I am free after seven.

[MRS. CHINN has entered--is arranging the table for tea. ANNYS goes to her.]

How are you, Mrs. Chinn?

MRS. CHINN [She wipes her hand on her ap.r.o.n before taking ANNYS'S proffered hand.]

GEOFFREY [To SIGSBY.] I can turn up there later in the evening.

[He joins the others for a moment--talks with them.]

MRS. CHINN [Now shaking hands.] Quite well, thank you, ma'am.

[She has cast a keen, motherly glance at ANNYS.] I hope you're taking care of yourself, ma'am.

ANNYS Of course I am. We Politicians owe it to our Party.

[Laughs.] How are they getting on here, without me?

MRS. CHINN Well, ma'am, from what I can see, I think Mr. Chilvers is trusting a little too much to his merits. Shall I bring some more cups and saucers, sir?

GEOFFREY Ah! yes! [To ANNYS.] You'll have some tea?

ANNYS Strong, please, Mrs. Chinn.

[MRS. CHINN goes out.]

[Laughs.] Yes, I know it's bad for me. [She puts a hand over his mouth.]

PHOEBE Old Mother Chinn is quite right, you know, Geoff. You're not putting up a good fight.

GEOFFREY [A slight irritability begins to show itself.] I frankly confess that I am not used to fighting women.