The Shadows Of Christmas Past Part 17

"Oh really?" She slid her arms around his neck and pressed her body against his. "That's a good thing.

Are you going to tell me what you're up to with the snowmobile and phone calls?"

"Later. I'll tell you later." His teeth tugged gently at her ear. "Much later." He slid his hands under the hem of the soft flannel s.h.i.+rt she wore to find bare skin. His hands cupped her bottom, and lifted her to bring her more in line with his own body, holding her there for a moment, savoring the way she fit against him.

Her soft body stilled the pounding in his head and tamed the roaring of his nightmares, the terrible memories he could never quite push into oblivion.

Her hands skimmed over his chest, her lips sliding over his neck, his jaw, her teeth nibbling on his lip until he was kissing her, losing himself in her heat. He drank her in, devoured her, needing to be closer to her to keep the demons at bay. "I have too many clothes on," he whispered into her hot mouth.

"Yes you do," she agreed, her hands dropping to the waistband of his jeans.

He felt the brush of her knuckles against his belly, over his hard arousal. Every thought went out of his head but his need to feel her body surrounding his. Heat and flame danced over his skin and invaded his veins, spread through his muscles. Whatever roaring beasts had threatened to consume him with rage and hatred fell quiet under the caress of her stroking fingers, under the a.s.sault of her hot mouth gliding over his chest. He was harder than he'd ever been in his life, more in need, his mind crowded with erotic images, with hunger and need that left no room for nightmares.

His hands slid over the curves of her hips, along her thighs, his fingers dipping into the moist heat of her body. He loved the way she responded to him, the way she gave herself so generously to him. She made it clear she wanted to touch him, needed to feel and taste him with the same urgency he felt for her. He slid the flannel s.h.i.+rt from her body and dropped it onto the floor before catching her up in his arms and carrying her to the bed.

"I'm not going to let you go, Maia," he warned, wanting to be honest, hating to be so d.a.m.ned vulnerable.

"I can't let you just walk away from me."

Her fingers skimmed his face, caressed his shoulders, and moved down his back. "Who said anything about going anywhere, Cole? A little action would be appreciated."

"You want action?" His eyebrow shot up, his face darkly sensual.

Maia arched up to press her aching b.r.e.a.s.t.s against his chest, to rub the tips of her nipples across his skin while her teeth nipped at his chin. "I'm on fire here."

He felt it then, a wild rush of excitement coursing hotly through his body. She tightened every muscle, brought every nerve ending alive. He wanted to pound into her, drive so deep she could never get him out.Brand her . At once he stiffened. Pulled away from her, sitting up on the bed and wiping his face.

Maia sat up, her arms sliding around his waist "What is it?"

He shook his head. "You shouldn't be here with me. The things I think about are wrong. There's too much violence in me. I don't want you to get hurt, Maia, not you."

"Do I look fragile to you? I want you just the way you are, Cole. I know what you are and who you are.

You just have to figure out I'm quite capable of handling anything you can throw my way. You think you're rough with me, but you're not. You're strong, and the way your body is so frantic for mine only makes me want you more."

"Do you think I don't see the bruises on your skin from my gripping you too tight? Dammit, Maia, I thought I could find some way to be normal with you."

She laughed. "That's just silly. I have bruises every day from the work I do. I'd rather you put them there when you're giving me so much pleasure you're driving me out of my mind."

He should have known she would laugh. He turned his head and met her eyes. Desire, hot and intense and filled with some emotion he s.h.i.+ed away from trying to identify. He couldn't stop himself from having her, not when she was so hungry for him. Cole spread her across the bed, coming down on top of her, his hands sliding over silken skin as his mouth settled over hers.

Her thighs tightened and she s.h.i.+fted her hips, aligning her body more perfectly to rub against him in temptation, a siren's call. His palm stroked over her breast, captured it to roll her nipple between his thumb and finger. Her breath caught in her throat, and she arched back, open to him, wanting him. His mouth left hers at the invitation, and he kissed his way over the creamy mound to settle there, fingers stroking and ma.s.saging while she cried out, unable to prevent the sound of pleasure from escaping.

"I need you, Maia," he whispered softly.

Maia trembled, shuddering with arousal, lifting herself almost desperately into his mouth. "I need you too." Her hands skimmed over his back, caught at his hips to guide him into her.

His knee nudged her thighs wider apart so that he could easily settle there, pus.h.i.+ng into her slowly, penetrating with a deep, long stroke that pushed through velvet-soft petals, forcing her tight muscles to open for him. Immediately he was bathed in tight, hot-silken heat. The breath left his body in a rush, and fire streaked from his toes to the top of his head. She did that. Maia. She did things with her body he still couldn't comprehend.

His hands pinned her hips, holding her firmly, giving him the ability to set the pace and control the ride.

He needed that, needed to allow his own driving violence towell up slowly, to mingle with the pa.s.sion and emotion he felt for her. He began to move harder, deeper, until he was plunging into her over and over as her breathless cries urged him on. Her fingers biting into his b.u.t.tocks nearly drove him wild. He held on to his sanity as long as he could, pus.h.i.+ng her higher and higher, holding off her release until she was writhing beneath him, every bit as desperate as he felt.

When it came, their release was shattering, her body gripping his so tight he thought he'd explode as they came together. They stared into one another's eyes for a long time, then he was kissing her over and over, greedy for the taste of her, needing her sweetness, afraid of saying or not saying the right words to her.

He held her to him, his hand stroking through her hair, aching to say something, anything to make her feel what he was feeling. "Maia?" His heart pounded in a kind of terror. His mouth went dry.

She turned her head and smiled at him. "I'm here."

Her smile always affected him. He dreamt of her smile now. Just as he dreamt of her body open and soft for him, a haven, a refuge he never wanted to give up.

He tried to say the words women needed. He wanted to tell her to stay forever. What did he have to offer her? He was consumed with rage at times. At those times he needed the rush of working undercover. He was driven to find and arrest men who thought themselves above the law, more clever and superior to all others. There were parts of him he was afraid of. A violence he sometimes dealt with by beating a boxing bag for hours, or racing a horse over a mountain trail. So many things he held in little compartments in his mind, deep where no one saw.

Until Maia. She looked through the emptiness in his eyes, somewhere beyond the shadows, and she seemed just to accept him. It was terrifying to think he could be wrong. And if he asked her and she turned away from him, he'd be lost.

Cole sighed. "I found the old man's stash," he confessed. He turned on his side, rising above her to prop himself up on his elbow. He could hear the regret in his voice and knew she would think it was because of his father. "I didn't want to know anything more about him. And I didn't want to have to tell Jase."

"Jase has you now, Cole," Maia said, placing her palm over his heart to comfort him. If anyone needed comfort it was Cole. He just didn't recognize it.

"It wasn't all that hard to find it. When I was a kid I used to go up to that large rock formation, and there was a series of caves. One of them was very small, but when you accessed it, if you crawled to the back, there was a larger chamber. I couldn't find it and I knew immediately the old man had covered it up. I knew approximately where it was, so it didn't take long."

"It was a s.h.i.+pment of drugs?"

"A large s.h.i.+pment. The remains of the pilot were propped up in the back against the wall of the cave like some macabre pirate skeleton left to guard the bundles. I should have known having oil wells, natural gas reserves, and a thriving cattle business wouldn't be enough for the old man. He needed to feel superior.

He needed the rush of pitting his brains against law enforcement."

"Maybe you did know what he was doing, or suspected on some level as a child, Cole. You became a DEA agent. Subconsciously you may have been trying to find a way to separate and define yourself."

He bent his head to kiss her. "You say the nicest things, Maia. I don't know how you always think of the exactly the right thing to say to make me feel better when I'm feeling low, but you manage it."

She nibbled her way across his jaw to tease at his mouth with her teeth. "I say what I think, which isn't always a good thing, Cole."

"I have to go, honey. I checked with the weather service, and I've only got a few hours to pull this off.

Follow me down to the kitchen. I want to show you how to set the alarm." He brushed backed her hair, kissing her again and again as if he might not stop, then pulled abruptly away.

Maia followed him to his room and sat on his bed. She sat up, watched him dress, clutching the sheet to her as if that might protect her from the sudden fear she was trying to suppress. He was dragging weapons out of every conceivable hiding place and shoving them into holsters, taping them to his back until she could only stare in horror.

He tossed her his own flannel s.h.i.+rt wis.h.i.+ng he could stick around and enjoy her in it. "Come on, Maia. I have to go now." He couldn't look at her much longer and not feel the choking fear of losing her. Facing gunfire and possible death was nothing compared to the terror of being so vulnerable to another human being.

Maia followed him down the stairs, b.u.t.toning b.u.t.tons as she went, trying to look casual and calm, wondering if Cole had felt the same way when she had attended the mountain lion. She listened dutifully to all his instructions, but when he turned away from her she caught his hand and tugged him back, reluctant to let him go.

"You're coming back."

"Of course." Cole kissed Maia hard. "Turn on the security alarm the moment I leave. All the doors and windows will lock automatically. You know where the safety rooms are. One upstairs and one down.

Use them if you have to."

She clutched his fingers, holding him to her. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I'm never stupid, Maia, and I never forget details. Take care of Jase. There's paperwork in the top desk drawer in case of emergencies. My boss has copies. I faxed them to him last night."

"Don't tell me that. Tell me you're going to come back to me all in one piece."

Cole leaned down to kiss her again. "Stay out of trouble and keep Jase occupied. I don't want either one of you to get any ideas about being a hero. When I'm out there, I'm going to treat everyone as the enemy. I can't be worried that you or Jase will get it in your heads to try to help. I might end up shooting one of you."

"I'm not stupid, Cole," Maia a.s.sured him. "I'll take care of Jase, but he's not going to like that you snuck out so early."

"He'd want to come, and I don't have a lot of time to spend arguing with him," he glanced at his watch.

"The weather will be closing in faster than antic.i.p.ated. I have maybe three or four hours at the most, then the storm will break again."

"You mean you don't have a lot of time to spend rea.s.suring him," Maia corrected. She let him go because she had no choice. Cole Steele couldn't be anything other than who he was, any more than she could be. "Then I'll see you in three or four hours."

He slipped out the kitchen door into the mudroom to pull on the clothes he'd prepared and slung his pack and rifle over his shoulder before going outside. He wanted to be seen, but look like he was being cautious, wary of anyone who might be watching. He was a man with something to hide. The minute he set foot outside of the mudroom, he became that person, walking with deliberate stealthy intent, casting glances back toward the house as if someone might catch him leaving. He moved in stops and starts, hurrying across open s.p.a.ce, stopping in the shadows and behind buildings and trees to look around. It wasn't until he was by the garage housing the snowmobiles that he was certain he was being watched.

The air was cold and dry, the wind coming at him in gusts. He pulled his knitted cap over his face to keep from being burned or frostbitten as he burst out of the garage, the snowmobile swaying wildly, then catching traction to skim over the snow. Maia was right, he realized, as he flew over the snow toward the trail leading into the higher mountains. He should have talked to Jase. If something did happen, this could look bad. He was deliberately setting it up to make others think he was taking the drugs for himself and selling the s.h.i.+pment to the highest bidder.

He shook his head, a frown on his face. That was straight from Maia's mind to his. She was even making him think like her. He had never thought to let anyone into his life to such an extent, but there was no keeping Maia out. She had managed to twist herself deep inside of him until he didn't want her out. She brought him alive in a way he'd never been before.

Cole scanned the surrounding areas, openly using binoculars, wanting those watching him to be aware he was leery. He was a man doing something illegal, and he knew it. He felt an itch between his shoulder blades and sent up a silent prayer it wasn't the scope of a rifle trained on him. He was counting on the fact that Fred and his people had murdered Brett Steelebefore they realized he'd moved the s.h.i.+pment, and they wanted Cole to lead them to it. He'd never had so much to lose before, and the thought of the danger didn't give him quite the same rush it always had.

He glanced at the sky before setting off again. The clouds were heavy and dark, but the weather was holding. He could have moved the stuff closer to the house, but it might have endangered Maia and Jase.

This way, if anyone wanted to take the s.h.i.+pment from him, they had to follow him away from the ranch house, but with the weather so dicey, it was touch-and-go whether he was going to pull the entire thing off and make it back before the next storm hit.

He was able to maneuver the snowmobile up the trail through the rock formation because the snow was so deep. It enabled him to move the sled he was dragging into position at the front of the cave before rolling back the rocks blocking the entrance. He had to use a pry bar as leverage to remove the boulders before crawling inside. This was the most dangerous part. While loading the snowmobile, he would be vulnerable. He was inside the cave and would have to crawl in places to drag out the bundles to stack onto the snowmobile. He wouldn't be able to see or hear an approaching enemy.

Cole worked steadily, sweating as he did so, aware of the least little noise, every moment feeling as though it might be his last. They didn't need him to bring out the s.h.i.+pment, only to lead them to it. He tried to keep his exposure down, keeping as much of the bare foliage between him and open s.p.a.ces when he came out of the cave to add to the burden on the sled.

When they came, they came like wolves, slinking out of the forest to surround him, guns drawn, Fred leading the pack. He grinned at Cole. "Like father, like son. But I'm afraid that's my dope you're trying to steal."

"It belongs to you?" Cole asked, straightening slowly as he tied off the last bundle. "I don't think so. I don't see your name on it anywhere."

Fred held up his gun. "This is my claim, Steele. Keep your hands where I can see them."

"How'd you know about it?" Cole said, sounding disgusted.

"I helped bring it in before your old man got greedy and moved it. We did it all the time. I have the connections, Steele, you don't. I've got everything in place; you'd just lose it all. You should thank me."

He laughed and c.o.c.ked his gun, pointing it straight at Cole's heart. "You can go join your daddy in h.e.l.l."

"Hold it, Fred!" The voice came from above them. Al lay stretched out in the snow, the rifle trained on his brother-in-law. "I'm not going to let you kill him, Fred. I don't know what this is all about; but I saw you watching him, sneaking after him, and you're not going to kill him."

"What are you going to do, Al?" Fred snarled. "Choose your almighty boss over your own family? Has he promised you a share if you side with him?"

Cole looked anxiously toward Al. He knew a couple of Fred's buddies were circling around trying to get position on him. The last thing he wanted was his foreman to get killed. "What are you planning, Fred?

We can make a deal."

"I had a deal with your old man. He double-crossed us. He sat there in his stinking office surrounded by enough money for a hundred men, but he was so d.a.m.ned greedy. He laughed at me, laughed at all of us.

He dared us to go to the police."

"So you put a bullet in his brain."

"You should have seen his face when I pulled the trigger. He was good at killing, but he didn't want to die. I should know, I did enough of it for him."

"But you did it too soon, didn't you, Fred? You didn't know he'd moved the s.h.i.+pment."

Fred shrugged, glanced up toward Al, obviously waiting for his men to pick off his brother-in-law. He scowled, angry they were taking so long and Al still had the rifle rock steady on him. "I thought I'd have time to find it, but you fired us all."

Cole smiled at him. "Smart of me, wasn't it? How long were you killing and running drugs for the old man? You the one who killed Jase's mother?"

"She kept trying to take the kid. He wasn't going to let her do that. She should have known better."

"So you arranged the accident? How'd you manage all this time to get away with it?" Cole made a small movement toward the snowmobile.

Fred brought his gun up. "Don't be stupid, Steele."

"Don't you be stupid, Fred," Al said.

"I've been getting away with things a long time. You just need a few key people in your pocket," Fred bragged. "Put the rifle down, Al, or my sister is going to be a widow. Do it now."

"You're under arrest. All of you. Put your guns down " Cole said. "Right now you're surrounded by federal marksmen with rifles trained on every one of you. Drop your weapons now." Cole sent Fred a grim smile. "I'm with drug enforcement."

"What the h.e.l.l are you talking about?" Fred whipped his head around wildly looking for his crew. He caught a glimpse of several of his men down on the ground, others clothed in all white standing over them and holding rifles to the backs of their necks. "You've been in jail. What are you, a snitch?"

Cole walked across the scant feet of snow separating them and removed the gun from Fred's hand.

"You bought a cover story, Fred." He pushed the man toward one of the officers. Flakes of snow were already drifting from the skies.

Al stood up slowly, rifle at his side. "This is going to kill my wife. I'm sorry, Mr. Steele. I had no idea what he was up to."

"He wanted you to think I drove that horse into the fence. It was to get you and Jase off the ranch so he could search it."

"I figured that out. He was watching you all the time. I didn't ever consider drugs might be a part of it. I just thought he was mad over losing his job."

"Thanks for coming after me."

Jase sat white-faced at the table as Cole told him about the drug s.h.i.+pment, the murder of the pilot and the boy's mother. The teenager went very still, tension and anger radiating from him. Abruptly he rose and without a word, ran out of the kitchen into the mudroom. They could hear him stamping into his boots.

Cole sighed and stood up. "I'd better follow him."

He looked tired and strained. Maia went to him, put her arms around him. "At least you both know what really happened to Brett. You don't have to wonder about it anymore. And neither of you has to worry about the other's having been involved in that violent act."