Heavy Issues Part 27

She spared Todd a glance. What the h.e.l.l had she seen in him? Compared to Cole, Todd didn't seem to be the same species even. And the difference wasn't only physical. It was in the way Cole carried himself, so sure, so comfortable in his own skin. For the life of her she couldn't fathom why she'd agreed to marry Todd. She hadn't loved him, not really; she knew that now. She had settled, nothing more. At the thought of Cole, that burning ache in her chest intensified. Fighting tears, she continued packing.

There was a loud knock on the door. Wow, it was the first time the cab company had come through for anybody.

"That must be the cab I ordered," she yelled to Todd from the room.

Without waiting for her to open the door, Todd went ahead. She reached the living room in time to see Cole standing on her porch.

Deciding he must be the cabby, and before Christy could say anything, Todd tried to give him money and wave him off. "We won't be needing your services, buddy. You can go."

"Who is this?" Legs braced apart, a scowl on his face, Cole spoke to Christy. His voice was low and threatening, but she wouldn't let him intimidate her.

"Cole, meet Todd, my ex-fiance," she said, looking at Cole, and then she turned to Todd. "Todd, meet Cole, my current ex-boyfriend."

Neither of them seemed too happy about the introduction, but she was past caring. Let them hash it out.

Cole stared at her. "What's he doing here?"

h.e.l.l if she knew. His guess was as good as hers, although she suspected Todd's casual appearance had more to do with the fully paid vacation in Mexico they had bought with her credit card half a year ago and that was due in several weeks than with anything else. Either way, she wasn't going to let Cole divert her attention. "What are you doing here?"

"You know the answer to that. We need to talk, Christy. In private."

"Weren't we in a hurry?" asked Todd as he leaned on the wall, a smug smile on his face.

Cole's frown deepened, but he said nothing. He didn't even move a muscle.

Christy sighed. "Todd, please give us some privacy."

He looked around. "Where am I supposed to go? This house is a miniature. I'll hear you from virtually anywhere."

"Go outside," Christy ordered.

For once he did what he was told without any more snide comments.

Christy squared off in front of Cole. She was in a hurry, but she wanted to talk to him. She desperately needed him to convince her that it had all been a misunderstanding. To pull from his hat a plausible enough explanation for what she'd seen. Not only because she had declared herself to him yesterday and she couldn't bear to be such a poor judge of character, but mainly because she loved him and knew without a shred of a doubt that getting over him was going to be a lot more difficult than getting over Todd, if it was even possible.

"Where did you leave your groupie?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest and looking around him to the door. "Outside, warming the seat of your bike?"

His lips quirked into a satisfied half smile. "You're jealous." She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of admitting to that, but she couldn't refute it, so she kept quiet. He came closer. "Listen to me, babe. She yanked the towel when she lost her balance, and I tripped while trying to get it back. I swear nothing happened. I'm not the cheating type."

She studied him. She was p.i.s.sed as h.e.l.l, and hurt-this didn't change it-but she knew Cole didn't have a deceptive bone in his body. He did what he wanted, and he always said what he meant; he wouldn't bother with deceit. And the more she thought about what she'd seen-Rose sprawled on the couch, legs over the arm, and Cole naked, looming over her reaching for the towel-the more she was inclined to believe Cole was telling the truth. That or she was so pathetically in love with the guy that she was ready to believe anything. Probably the last one. Either way, though, cheating wasn't his style. And he'd looked quite livid with Rose.

"No, I guess you aren't."

He came closer still and put his arms around her. She tried to wrench away from him, but he didn't budge. "I'd never cheat on you, sweetheart. I'd never do that to you." He kissed her chin, her eyes, her nose. "My c.o.c.k is all yours. Along with any part of me you want. I'm all yours. n.o.body else's."

In spite of herself she softened to his touch. He took her hands and put them on his chest, but she yanked them away. She wasn't ready to show affection yet. "We haven't made it that far yet. You were naked between another woman's thighs. What am I supposed to think?"

He stroked his thumb over her lower lip. "Did I look aroused to you?"

She shook her head. He'd been naked, yes, but he hadn't been hard.

"Do I look aroused now?" he asked while he pressed against her, where she could feel his d.i.c.k stirring and lengthening. "The only thighs I'm interested in being between are yours, babe. It wasn't Rose I allowed to tie me. It wasn't her I let my defenses down for. It was for you. You have to believe me, sweet thing." He kissed her mouth gently, a barely there caress that left her panting for more.

"Why would I believe you?"

"You have to believe me because I lo-"

He stopped dead in his tracks.

"What's that?" Cole said with his eyes fixed on the bedroom, where the mild draft had blown the ajar door open completely, leaving her almost packed bag in plain view on the bed.

"Ah, that. I'm packing. I-"

"I see." His eyes had gone glacial, his tone too. He released her and took a step backward. She opened her mouth, but he cut in. "You don't have to explain anything to me. Not a d.a.m.n thing."

Cole crossed his arms on his chest, his face void of expression.

A complete emotional shutdown.

She shook her head. "You don't understand. My-"

"I understand perfectly. You're leaving. Guess the sabbatical's over after all."

"Yes, no. Let me explain, Cole, dammit."

She reached for him, but he took another step backward. His eyes were filled with nothing. "No need."

"You are getting the wrong impression."

"I don't think so."

She looked at him, at the flat line of his mouth, at his impa.s.sive eyes that were now already looking beyond her, and she wanted to weep for the injustice of it. He'd shut her out. There were no emotions visible on him. His face was blank. Deadpan. She could drop a bombsh.e.l.l, but it wouldn't faze him. He was totally out of her reach.

"But-"

"Save it," he interrupted her, his tone hard. Ice-cold. "Do me the favor of not treating me like a moron. You're leaving. I don't want to hear any excuses. I've already wasted enough time with you."

That snapped her out of it. Arrogant b.a.s.t.a.r.d, he wouldn't let her explain.

"Fine. Have it your way," she said, lifting her arms as she went to the bedroom to finish packing. She had been ready to forgive him, but now she was p.i.s.sed at him all over again. He had been the one caught buck naked with Rose, and she was the one having to justify herself? f.u.c.k it. Let him think whatever the h.e.l.l he wanted. Besides, it was too late for explanations. She'd been tried and convicted already.

"Good I thought of coming. I'd have missed your departure otherwise. What were you planning to leave me, a note for all my trouble?"

His condescending tone infuriated her. "You're an emotionally unavailable r.e.t.a.r.d, that's what you are! And a coward! You hide behind that mask of indifference because you're too scared to take a chance on me. You prefer to shut me out rather than risk yourself. You don't even want to hear what I have to say. Look at you-a f.u.c.king piece of wood would show more emotion."

"Don't flatter yourself. Maybe I just don't care enough, sweetheart."

His words tore through her like a knife. Tears threatened again, but she refused to give in. "f.u.c.k you, Cole. You expect me to believe nothing happened with Rose, you want me to take a leap of faith, but you won't even allow me to explain these," she said, waving to the bags.

"Not the same thing."

"Bulls.h.i.+t! You won't even consider leaving your s.h.i.+elds down long enough to take a p.i.s.s. You don't trust me as far as you can throw me. f.u.c.king hypocrite. Not twenty-four hours ago you forced me to stand naked in front of a mirror, confronting my scars. Now here you stand, hiding yours." She looked into those deep green eyes, needing to reach him. "I dare you to tell me what you were going to say to me before that d.a.m.ned door opened. And I dare you to trust me enough to ask me for an explanation about this."

He faltered, and a seed of hope blossomed in her heart. It was fragile and small, but it was there.

"Listen, Cole-"

"I just have one question," he interrupted. "I explained about Rose. Are you still leaving?"

"Yes, I have to. It's an emergency. But I'm coming back, I swear. My mo-"

"Whatever, sweetheart, not interested," he said, turning around.

That seed of hope died a sudden, cold death.

Christy closed her eyes. She was on shaky ground already, and seeing him walk away would destroy her.

Cole looked up to find James approaching. f.u.c.k. He so didn't need this now. He'd made it back home several hours ago. He hadn't said a word to anyone about his return, hoping that would have granted him some time, but he'd been wrong.

The morning after Christy had left, he'd headed out to Canada, where he'd been for the past five days, consulting for that demolition he'd kept postponing. Throwing himself into his work hadn't done a d.a.m.n thing for his state of mind. He still felt like s.h.i.+t. Hollow and gutted. He'd hoped the old "out of sight, out of mind" adage would hold true with Christy, but he'd obviously been on crack when he'd thought that would work. Being away and turning off his cell, though, had gone a long way toward avoiding people. He would have headed straight south for the next demolition project without even going to Alden, but the Texas job was a two-week stint, and James's wedding was in a week. No way would they let him get away with skipping it. His family would hunt him down and skin him alive.

James plopped himself on the patio chair beside him.

"You're an a.s.s," he said. To Cole's stare, which probably was asinine, he lifted his hands in surrender. "Just relaying Tate's words to you."

"I see. I'm an a.s.s. Anything else?"

"Nope, that's all I got. May I?" James asked, signaling the case of beer Cole had at his feet.

"Knock yourself out."

That was what he was doing. Knocking himself out.

Christy had bailed on him. And how that made him the a.s.s, he truly didn't understand. He'd been very confident he could clear up that stupid misunderstanding. Sure, the scene with Rose had looked bad to her, but come on, there was a very reasonable explanation for it. And for a while there at Christy's, he'd thought she'd come to her senses. He'd been ready to tell her he loved her, but then that door had opened and he'd seen those bags. Icy dread had climbed up his spine, freezing him in place.

Here he was, thinking about baring his soul to her while, after a small b.u.mp in the road, she was bailing. He'd been the worst kind of fool-the blindly in love one.

"She left," Cole said, not even trying not to sound accusing. "We had a little misunderstanding, and she bailed out."

He should have known better than to leave himself vulnerable to any woman. After all this time he was still a stupid fool. But Christy had seemed different to him, and he'd felt safe with her, as if he could let his guard down. As if he could trust her. What a joke. In less than a month she'd torn through his defenses, stripped him naked, and ripped his heart out.

"That's not what I heard."

"It was a little misunderstanding," Cole repeated, throwing a hard stare to James, daring his brother to say otherwise. "Rose tripped and grabbed on to the towel. I tried to steady her, but she clung to me and I fell forward." James covered his face with his hand, shaking his head, silently laughing. "It's not funny, you a.s.shole. She was clinging to me with arms and legs. It looked bad, but I swear to you I wasn't cheating on Christy." How could he? He was crazy about the girl. He still was in spite of everything, which really only showed he needed to consider euthanizing himself because he'd clearly lost his mind.

"I know you weren't cheating on her, but that's not what I meant when I said I heard differently."

"What did you hear exactly?"

James turned to him and gave him that resigned expression, the one he gave Max when their younger brother was being deliberately obtuse. "Christy didn't leave because she thought you were cheating. Don't get me wrong; surely it looked bad to her, and you'd have needed to grovel your sorry a.s.s off to make it up to her, but that wasn't it. She got a phone call from her mother, who was in the hospital in hysterics from what I was told. Her husband had a heart attack. Your woman was packing just the necessaries to fly to LA to check out what was going on. She was not bailing on you."

Cole had trouble understanding the words. She hadn't been leaving him? Happiness and relief surged inside him. Then fury.

"Why the f.u.c.k didn't she say something?"

"Did you let her?"

s.h.i.+t! He covered his face with his hand and cursed, the enormity of his mistake clutching his chest.

"No, of course you didn't," his brother continued. "You went all marine on her. Dictating the rules, right?"

Cole ran his hand through his hair and then rubbed his neck in frustration. "She ran out of my place. She threw burning hot coffee onto my lap. Her ex was there, and she was packing. What the f.u.c.k was I supposed to think?" he yelled.

"Haven't you learned anything? You were supposed to listen to her, man. Really, this is basic Women 101. Instead you practically kicked her out."

"And the ex?" he demanded.

James shrugged. "He came out of the blue. He was there by sheer chance. Christy was getting a ride to the airport from him."

Oh h.e.l.l.

That was the final nail in his coffin, just what he needed. As if he hadn't been feeling s.h.i.+tty enough without Christy, now he had to face the reality that he was the one who had chased her away.

Cole breathed out loud. "s.h.i.+t."

"My sentiments exactly."

"Why didn't Tate tell me?" Christy had left almost a week ago. Why was he hearing this now?

"Tell you how? By phone? The same one you haven't picked up the gazillion times she called you?"

Cole s.h.i.+fted uncomfortably. Yeah, he'd forgotten he hadn't been in the mood to talk to anyone.

"FYI, Tate left some colorful messages on your voice mail. You might need to erase those. You're lucky she's at Rosita's right now and not here, or she'd be ripping you a new one."

She was welcome, because he clearly deserved a beating. For not admitting his feelings to Christy. For not trusting her. For running her out. For behaving like an a.s.shole. For being the emotional r.e.t.a.r.d she'd rightly accused him of being.

"By the way, have you seen Rose?"

Cole shook his head. He hadn't, and that was a good thing too. He was done being civilized with her.

"She has a black eye," James informed him.

"What?" Cole turned to his brother.

"I heard that on her way to the airport, Rose was unlucky enough to cross paths with Christy, who climbed out of the car and popped her one."