Heavy Issues Part 26

He was going to ignore her words.

Her throat clutched up, and her eyes stung. She felt hurt and rejected, but she fought those feelings. She was in a relations.h.i.+p with someone who wasn't the most emotionally available man in the world. She'd known that, no big deal.

She thought she wouldn't be able to fall asleep, but she was wrong, for exhaustion claimed her almost right away.

Chapter Fifteen.

Light was p.r.i.c.king Cole's eyes. Still half-asleep, he reached for Christy and came up empty. She wasn't in bed. Disoriented and a bit groggy, he opened his eyes and squinted. The sun had risen long ago. He'd overslept, which was totally unheard of for a guy who always woke at the crack of dawn, most times without the aid of an alarm clock.

He took a fast shower and, without bothering much with drying, wrapped a towel around his hips and strode to the living room.

"Christy?"

Silence.

As he poked his head into the kitchen, he realized there was a note by the coffeemaker.

Gone to get your disgusting double grind coffee thingy you like so much from the diner. Back in 5. Don't start breakfast without me. Love, Christy.

There was a scrambled L before the word love, as if she'd begun writing the word, then rethought it and crossed it out. Then she'd changed her mind again and finally written it. He smiled, his gaze lingering on that word. In spite of all Christy's hang-ups, expressing affection wasn't one of them. She had no trouble throwing those kinds of bombs. Unlike him. As an adult he hadn't said those words to anybody. He broke into cold sweats at the mere thought of it; the possibility of leaving himself so open terrified him. One thing he was certain about, though: he did love her, with all his heart-irrevocably. He was just too chickens.h.i.+t to come out and say it.

He should have told her he loved her or acknowledged her words somehow, but he'd found it d.a.m.n difficult to talk around the football-sized lump lodged in his throat. Besides, her telling him she loved him had gone straight to his groin, like a fist squeezing his b.a.l.l.s and his heart at the same time. His c.u.m had boiled inside his shaft, the need to possess her and come inside her so intense that he'd all but gone insane. Not very mature, true, but f.u.c.k if he could have done anything differently.

After making love with Christy, he'd lain wide awake for hours, wrapped around her, listening to her heartbeat. Reevaluating his life and considering things he'd never considered before. Wondering how he'd gotten so d.a.m.n lucky that such a precious thing found him worthy of love. p.i.s.sed at himself for being so closemouthed too. And thunderstruck that he'd let her tie him.

He had relinquished control because she'd needed the barriers down, and he'd trusted her, not only with his body but with his soul. Leaving himself physically and emotionally vulnerable to her. To a woman. He wasn't too happy with himself, but there was nothing he could do-he was done in. He'd just have to man up and get over it. Tell her he loved her and ask her to move in with him. He had plenty of room in his house for her, so they could transform the guest room into a studio for her. She could keep her computers there, work on her codes and algorithms from home, telecommuting to work if she wanted to continue as a programmer for that dot-com company out in LA. Or she could stay at the library. The town needed a librarian well versed in new technologies, and his woman was the perfect candidate. Whatever she wanted, he'd agree to as long as she stayed in Alden-with him.

She was the one for him, he knew. He felt it deep inside him, a fire that warmed him from inside out. Going nonverbal was his best chance, but if that wasn't an option, then he'd just have to swallow hard and fumble his way into telling her he loved her. He had no clue how he was going to manage that, but he'd do it. He'd muster the courage to look into those witch eyes and bare his soul. Lower his defenses and offer his heart to her, trusting she wouldn't stomp all over it.

He heard the doorbell ring and shook those thoughts away. It had to be Christy, he thought as he strode to the front door. Somewhere here he had spare keys he was going to give to her as soon as he found them. He might have trouble expressing feelings, talking the talk so to speak, but sure as h.e.l.l he could walk the walk. She got his keys, and he got her. That was more than a fair trade.

"Sweetheart, if you're going to run out on me before breakf-" The words died in his throat. It wasn't Christy standing at his door with coffee; it was Rose.

He slammed the door in her face because she didn't deserve any better, but she kept insistently ringing at the bell, so he opened again.

"Go. Away."

"Please," she begged. "I need to talk to you."

"Now is not the time, Rose."

"Please. It'd be only a minute," she said. "I know how upset you must be."

Upset? Try furious. He considered slamming the door in her face again, but he didn't want his woman coming home and finding Rose banging at the door. It would upset her, so he motioned Rose to come in.

She marched into the living room, then turned to him.

"Make it quick," he ordered, crossing his arms over his chest. "What do you want?"

She licked her lips, and smiling tentatively, reached out to him, but he frowned and she dropped her hand. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Me?"

"I'd expect the pictures were a shock to you too. You left in such a hurry...we wouldn't have resorted to such dramatic measures, but she didn't leave us any alternative."

"I went after Christy, Rose. As a matter of fact, you just missed her. I've been f.u.c.king her all night long. Your point?"

She looked downright perplexed. "But I thought you wouldn't want to...you know...continue seeing her after that." And then, as if it had just dawned on her, her eyes grew big. "You already knew about it?" she said almost in a whisper, surprise thick in her voice.

Cole let out an impatient breath. "You thought I'd be in shock because of the pictures and dump her over that? Which planet do you come from, Rose?"

"Pardon?" she asked, looking genuinely confused.

He wasn't going to bother explaining jack s.h.i.+t to Rose. In her world appearances were king, and she was too d.a.m.n shallow to understand where true beauty lay. Not that Christy wasn't a knockout. "The only thing that was a shock to me was your behavior. You should be ashamed of yourself. You tried to humiliate her. And you insulted her. I won't tolerate that."

"So did she," Rose complained mildly. "She didn't hold her tongue when she said all those nasty things to me."

No, she didn't, Cole remembered with pleasure. His woman had known how to hold her own. Even as devastated as she'd been, she'd held her head up and stood up to Rose. "Yes, and that was why you were spared my wrath. You're lucky you are not a man, because you'd be toothless and lying in a pool of your own blood if you were. It was a mistake for you to come here. You're pus.h.i.+ng your luck. You don't insult her. h.e.l.l, you don't talk to her. Are we clear? Unless it's for apologizing."

"I'm sorry," she apologized, fidgeting.

Sorry his a.s.s. Rose was a spoiled brat who only felt sorry when she didn't get her way. He would never touch a woman in anger, but d.a.m.n, that Rose's dad had dropped the ball. She should have been turned over a knee and gotten a spanking a long time ago.

He loomed over her. "And you should be sorry. But as I said, you need to apologize to Christy, not to me."

"Apologize to Christy? Why? You surely don't mean that, do you? I was trying to do everyone a favor."

He must have looked feral, for she lifted her eyes to him and with a frightened expression took a hasty step backward. Then her feet somehow caught on the rug, and she lost her balance. Her arms fumbled in the air, and in an attempt to grab on to him, she yanked his towel. As he lunged himself forward to steady her and get the cloth back, she pulled at him on her way down over the arm of the couch and he tripped, landing almost on top of her.

Before he could disentangle himself, Rose latched on to him like a f.u.c.king tick.

"Motherf.u.c.ker!" he heard someone yell from the now open door.

The day had started so wonderfully. She'd woken up earlier than Cole, a first, and had decided to make him breakfast. As she'd headed down to turn on the coffee machine, she'd changed her mind and gotten the spare keys she'd seen on the dresser and gone to the diner. She'd intended to buy Cole that double-ground coffee stuff he liked so much, but then in the spur of the moment she'd decided to get him pancakes too. He loved them, and, he'd always been very accommodating with her eating habits. The least she could do was be flexible too. She couldn't prepare them herself, that was out of the question, but get some for him to eat at home? That she could do.

Besides, she had to get out of the house and face the town sometime. Today was as good a day as any. And everyone had an infernal picture in their repertoire, right? That one from Lisa's wedding was hers. If she could live with it, as sure as h.e.l.l the inhabitants of Alden could too.

On her way to the diner, Aunt Maggie had intercepted her. Christy had tried to talk to her, apologize for not telling her the truth about the food, for ruining the party, but she wouldn't listen to any of it.

"You don't have anything to apologize for, dear."

Aunt Maggie had kissed and hugged Christy and all but ordered her to come with Cole to eat at her place later on.

Sniffing away tears, Christy had headed back to Cole's. She'd been disappointed that he'd ignored her declaration last night, but she'd decided to get over herself. She'd known Cole didn't come by trust easily. It would be okay. He would come around. She knew he had feelings for her, so she just had to be patient. Give him some time.

Yeah, she'd been feeling elated. Until, of course, juggling the pancakes in one hand and the to-go coffee cup in the other, she'd opened his front door and found him over Rose, buck naked, her legs around his hips, a towel in her hand. The pancakes fell on the floor.

"Motherf.u.c.ker!"

Christy wasn't much of a curser, but if anything called for a blue streak, it certainly was this. And, well, honey, I'm home was out of the question.

She thought about bolting, but before she could move, Cole was already grabbing her arm, the towel he'd s.n.a.t.c.hed from Rose after jerking away from her dangling from his other hand.

"Christy, wait, this isn't what it looks like."

Really? They weren't playing Scrabble? No s.h.i.+t. What a surprise.

"She just fell backward and tried to hold on to something."

G.o.d, she couldn't breathe. She was so not listening to this. She had had enough catching one lover with another woman, and she couldn't go through a repeat. At least this time she'd been spared the nurse dress and the pink d.i.l.d.o. Although this horrible pain in her chest was new, and a thousand times worse than what she'd felt while catching Todd in flagrante.

She tried to break free, but his hold was unshakeable. Rose had gotten up, and looking quite flushed, she was straightening her clothes, saying something Christy didn't even hear. Cole growled at her, his gaze never leaving Christy's.

"Get the f.u.c.k out of here, Rose. I don't want to see your face again."

"Let me go," Christy said.

"Not going to happen, babe. You need to listen to me first."

Listen to him? Right, sure. Exactly what she'd been thinking.

She needed to leave, now, before she embarra.s.sed herself further and broke down in tears, but for all the good her squirming was doing, she might as well have been shackled to him with iron chains. He was holding the hand she had free, and in the other one she held the coffee. Without giving it a second thought, she threw the cup at his groin. It had cooled down a bit on the way, but it was still scalding hot.

He was fast enough to partially cover himself with the cloth, but he turned her loose for a second and she took advantage of it.

"Aw, s.h.i.+t, Christy! d.a.m.n it, baby, come here!" she heard him shouting after her.

So not going to happen.

Eyes welling, throat quivering, she ran out. Where she was going, she didn't know. She couldn't think, much less breathe. She might have been in shock yesterday, but this was definitely panic. Her ears were roaring, her heart was stampeding, and she needed to be alone. If she'd had her car, she'd have jumped in it, rolled the windows down, turned the music on full blast, and hit the road, but her car was still in the shop.

She tried to block it, but all she could see was Cole naked and Rose hanging on to him with arms and legs. And she had been thinking about giving Cole time to come around. G.o.d, she was a fool. She was out buying him breakfast, pancakes on top of everything, hoping he'd open up to her soon, and the b.a.s.t.a.r.d was already between somebody else's thighs. She felt so hurt and betrayed.

How she wanted those d.a.m.n pancakes she'd dropped on the floor at his place! They wouldn't solve anything, but they sure as h.e.l.l would numb her, and she so didn't want to feel this horrible pain.

Suddenly she noticed her pants were talking to her. Surfer dude. She grabbed the cell. Her mother. Under normal circ.u.mstances she would have conveniently ignored it, but if her mom could do anything for her, it was to make her forget about reality, pull Christy into whatever inconsequential issue had her in hysterics. A little of that could be nice right now. Even hearing her berate Christy for leaving Todd would be a welcome distraction.

"Hit me, Martha," she said, wiping her tears with her hand.

The hysteric flood of words began, but this time they weren't inconsequential.

"What? Slow down. What do you mean in the hospital? Calm down, Mom. I don't understand you."

It took several tries, but finally Martha got it all out. Fred had been admitted to the hospital with chest pains. n.o.body was telling her anything, but it looked like a heart attack.

"Stay put. I'm coming," Christy said.

Fred was a good man. He had an older brother somewhere in Arizona, but they'd grown apart and there were no other relatives, which meant he had no one besides Martha. And Martha was useless in a crisis, mainly because she usually was the crisis.

Christy took a deep breath to calm herself. Just her luck, when she needed her mom to pull some stupid drama out of her sleeve to keep her entertained, and it turned out that for once it was a frigging emergency.

While hurrying home, she placed a call to the cab company that serviced Alden, and then called the hospital. They weren't releasing any details by phone, but they told her off the record that he was stable. The nurse who told her that asked her to please hurry, which meant that Mom was probably kicking up a fuss the likes of a true drama queen. Poor staff.

As Christy reached her front porch, she realized someone was standing there. She lifted her eyes and stiffened.

You've got to be kidding me.

"Todd?"

The b.a.s.t.a.r.d gave her a smarmy smile.

"What are you doing here?" Fred had just been admitted to the hospital. Her mom couldn't possibly have sent him.

He shrugged. "I had some days off. I thought we could talk. Face-to-face. You know, since you've been blocking my calls."

Man, she couldn't catch a break.

"No time." Not to mention they had nothing to talk about. "Fred is in the hospital. I need to get back to LA."

"What do you mean? Is he hurt?"

"I don't know yet. Probably a heart attack," she explained in clipped words.

As she entered her condo, he followed her in, and she frowned. What the h.e.l.l did he think he was doing? Todd walked around her house, arms crossed over his chest.

"So this is where you live now?" He wasn't in the least concerned about Fred. He was just curious about her life.

She was about to kick him out when she figured how he could make himself useful.

"Got a car?" she asked on her way to her bedroom.

He nodded. "A rental."

Christy threw a small carry-on on the bed. "Good. You'll drive me to the airport then. I'm not sure the cab I ordered will show." The one cab company that serviced the Alden area didn't seem to grasp how important it should be for their business to be on time. And on Sunday? Ha! They'd a.s.sured her when she called that it would arrive shortly, but she'd lived in Alden long enough to know that she had more chance of getting a ride from aliens than the cab actually appearing.

She looked around, deciding what she should take. She'd just pack the essentials, some toiletries and a change of clothes.

"Okay, I could also go back with you. I only came here to see you anyways. We can talk on the way back. Catch up."