The Rolliad Part 49

_On Sir_ ELIJAH IMPEY _refusing to resign his Gown as_ CHIEF JUSTICE OF BENGAL.

Of yore, ELIJAH, it is stated, By angels when to Heav'n translated, Before the saint aloft would ride, His prophet's robe he cast aside; Thinking the load might sorely gravel His porters on so long a travel; But our ELIJAH somewhat doubting, To him SAINT PETER may prove flouting, And wisely of his mantle thinking, That its furr'd weight may aid his sinking, Scornful defies his namesake's joke, And swears by G--d he'll keep his cloak.

ANOTHER.

_By Mr_. WILBERFORCE.

_On reading Mr._ ROSE'_s Pamphlet on the_ IRISH PROPOSITIONS.

Uncramp'd yourself by grammar's rules, You hate the jargon of the schools, And think it most extremely silly; But reading your unfetter'd prose, I wish the too-licentious ROSE Was temper'd by the chaster LILLY[1].

[1] A famous grammarian, well known for his excellent rules, and still more for the happy cla.s.sical quotations he has furnished to Sir GEORGE HOWARD, and others of the more learned Ministerial speakers.

PROCLAMATION.

TO ALL TO WHOM THESE PRESENTS MAY COME.

Whereas it hath been made known to us, from divers good and respectable quarters, in several parts of the empire, that a practice of great and salutary consequences to the health, wealth, and good order of our subjects; to wit, that of TEA-DRINKING, has of late years been very much discontinued: AND WHEREAS it is a true and admitted principle in all free governments, that the efficient Minister is the best and only judge of what suits the const.i.tution, pleases the appet.i.te, or is adapted to the wants of the subject. NOW IT IS HEREBY ORDERED, and strictly ordained, by and with the advice of the PRIVY COUNCIL, that all his Majesty's liege subjects, of all ranks, descriptions, or denominations whatever, be henceforward, and from the date hereof, required and enjoined, under the penalty of a _premunire_, to drink, swill, and make away with a certain quant.i.ty of the said nostrum and salutary decoction in the course of each natural day, in the order and proportion as directed and ascertained in the list or schedule herein after following, _viz_.

I. To every DUKE, MARQUIS, EARL, VISCOUNT, and BARON, within his Majesty's kingdom of GREAT BRITAIN, one pound per day.--If GREEN be too strong for their nerves, they may use SOUCHONG.--The method of making it, that is to say, strong, weak, and so on, is left to the n.o.ble personages themselves.

II. To every IRISH ditto, two pound per ditto.--This will be no inconvenience, as smuggled claret will not be in future to be had.

III. d.u.c.h.eSSES, d.u.c.h.eSS DOWAGERS, COUNTESSES, and BARONESSES, one pound per ditto.--As this regulation is not intended to hurt his Majesty's Customs, a mixture of LIQUEURS will be permitted as usual.

IV. MAIDS OF HONOUR, CHAPLAINS, the MEMBERS of the CLUB AT WHITE's, and other young gentlemen of that RANK and DESCRIPTION (being pretty nearly the usual quant.i.ty), two pound per ditto.

V. To COUNTRY 'SQUIRES, FOX-HUNTERS, &c. as a most agreeable subst.i.tute for STINGO and OCTOBER, three pound per ditto.

VI. To DRAYMEN, CHAIRMEN, and BARGEMEN, instead of PORTER, two pound per ditto.

VII. To the Commonalty of this Realm, to drink with their victuals and otherwise, at one pound for each person per ditto.

And IT IS FURTHER ORDERED, that no excuse or plea whatever shall be deemed valid, for the non-compliance with the above regulations; AND that whoever shall pretend, that the said wholesome and benign decoction, either does not agree with him, or is more expensive than his finances or state of life will permit, shall be only considered as aggravating the offence of disobedience, by a contumacious doubt of the better knowledge of his superiors, and a ridiculous endeavour to seem to be better acquainted with his own const.i.tution and circ.u.mstances, than the efficient Minister of the country.

GIVEN _at our Palace in_ DOWNING-STREET, _this 24th Day of June, 1784._

ORIGINAL LETTER.

Many doubts having arisen, princ.i.p.ally among the gentlemen who belong to the same profession with the Master of the Rolls, whether that distinguished character has _really_ sent a draft to the HIGH BAILIFF of WESTMINSTER, for the expences of a late trial and verdict in the Common Pleas; and although the fact is not exactly as it has been represented, yet the following authentic letter will sufficiently evince the generous intentions of Sir LL----D, as soon as he becomes rich enough for him to answer so heavy a demand. At present, all who know the very circ.u.mscribed state of his income, compared with the liberality of his expenditure--who consider the extent of those different establishments, which he feels it necessary to keep up by way of preserving the dignity of his high office--his wardrobe and table for instance--will acknowledge the plea of poverty to be justly urged.

_To_ THOMAS CORBETT, _Esq.

Chancery-Lane._

_My dear and faithful friend, Tho. Corbett,_

"I antic.i.p.ate your application to me, for the expences of defending yourself against the action brought by that fellow, FOX. If eternally d.a.m.ning the jury would pay the verdict, I would not scruple to a.s.sist you to the utmost of my abilities.--Though THURLOW is against us upon this point, and to swear with him, you know, would be just as vain a thing as to swear with the Devil; but, my friend, the long and the short of this matter is, that I am _wretched poor_--wretchedly so, I do a.s.sure you, in every sense and signification of the word. I have long borne the profitless inc.u.mbrance of nominal and ideal wealth. My income has been cruelly estimated at seven, or, as some will have it, eight thousand pounds per annum. The profession of which I am a Member, my dear THOMAS, has taught me to value facts infinitely more than either words or reasons. I shall save myself, therefore, the mortification of denying that I am rich, and refer you to the constant habits, and whole tenor of my life. The proof to my friends is easy--Of the economy which I am obliged to observe in one very necessary article, my taylor's bill for these last fifteen years, is a record of the most indisputable authority. There are malicious souls, who may object to this, as by no means the best evidence of the state of my wardrobe; they will direct you, perhaps, to Lord STORMONT's Valet de Chambre, and accompany the hint with an anecdote, that on the day when I kissed hands for my appointment to the office of Attorney-General, I appeared in a laced waistcoat that once belonged to his master. The topic is invidious, and I disdain to enter into it.--I _bought_ the waistcoat, but despise the insinuation--nor is this the only instance in which I am obliged to diminish my wants, and apportion them to my very limited means. Lady K. will be my witness, that until my last appointment, I was an utter stranger to the luxury of a pocket handkerchief.

"If you wish to know how I live, come and satisfy yourself--I shall dine at home this day three months, and if you are not engaged, and breakfast late, shall be heartily glad of your company; but in truth, my butler's place is become an absolute sinecure--early habits of sobriety, and self-denial, my friend, have made me what I am--have deceived the approach of age, and enabled me to support the laborious duties, and hard vicissitudes of my station.

"Besides, my dear BAILIFF, there are many persons to whom your application would be made with infinitely more propriety than to me.

The nature of PEPPER ARDEN is mild, gentle, accommodating to the extreme, and I will venture to engage that he would by no means refuse a reasonable contribution. MACDONALD is, among those who know him, a very proverb for generosity; and will certainly stand by you, together with DUNDAS and the LORD ADVOCATE, if there be fidelity in Scotchmen. BEARCROFT too will open his purse to you with the same blind and improvident magnanimity with which he risqued his opinion in your favour: besides, you are sure of PITT.--A real zeal for your welfare, a most disinterested friends.h.i.+p, and some consciousness that I have materially helped to involve you; and, believe me, not the sordid motive of s.h.i.+fting either the blame, or the expence upon the shoulders of others, have made me thus eagerly endeavour to put you in the way of consulting your best friends in this very critical emergency.

"As to myself, you are possessed already of the circ.u.mstances which render any immediate a.s.sistance on my part wholly out of the question.

Except half a dozen pair of black plush breeches, which I have but this instant received, I can offer you nothing. My superfluities extend no further. But better times may soon arrive, and I will not fail you then. The present Chief Justice of the King's Bench cannot long retain his situation; and as you are one whom I have selected from among many to be the friend of my bosom, I will now reveal to you a great secret in the last arrangement of judicial offices.

Know then, that Sir ELIJAH IMPEY is the man fixed upon to preside in the chief seat of criminal and civil jurisprudence of this country.

I am to succeed him in BENGAL; and then, my dear THOMAS, we may set the malice of juries at defiance. If they had given FOX as many diamonds by their verdict as they have pounds, rest a.s.sured that I am not a person likely to fail you, after I shall have been there a little while, either through want of faith, or want of means.

Set your mind, therefore, at ease; as to the money--why, if PITT is determined to have nothing to do with it, and if n.o.body else will pay it, I think the most adviseable thing, in your circ.u.mstances, will be to pay it yourself. Not that you are to be ultimately at the expence of a single s.h.i.+lling. The contents of this letter will fully prove that I mean to reimburse you what I am able. For the present, n.o.body knows better than yourself, not even Lady K----, how ill matters stand with me, and that I find it utterly impossible to obey the dictates of my feelings.

"I am, my dear HIGH BAILIFF, Your very affectionate friend, And humble servant, L.K."

"_Lincoln's-inn-fields_, _June 20, 1786._"

A CONGRATULATORY ODE,

ADDRESSED TO THE RIGHT HON. CHARLES JENKINSON, on his being created LORD HAWKESBURY.

Quem vimm aut heroa lyra vel acri Tibia sumes celebrare, Clio?

Quem Deum? Cujus recinet jocosa Nomen imago? HOR.

JENKY, for you I'll wake the lyre, Tho' not with Laureat WARTONS fire, Your hard-won meed to grace: Gay was your air, your visage blythe, Unless when FOX has made you writhe, With tortur'd MARSYAS' face.

No more you'll dread such pointed sneer, But safely skulk amidst your Peers, And slavish doctrines spread; As some ill-omen'd baneful yew That sheds around a poisonous dew, And shakes its rueful head.

Your frozen heart ne'er learn'd to glow At other's good, nor melt at woe; Your very roof is chilling: There Bounty never spreads her ray; You e'en shut out the light of day[1], To save a paltry s.h.i.+lling,

A Prince, by servile knaves addrest, Ne'er takes a DEMPSTER to his breast, JACK ROB'SON serves his ends; Unrivall'd stood the treach'rous name, Till envious EDEN urg'd his claim, While both betray their friends.

On whom devolves your back-stairs cloak, When, prophet-like, "you mount as smoke[2]?"

Must little POWNEY catch it?

But as 'tis rather worse for wear, Let mighty BUCKS take special care To brush it well and patch it.

While o'er his loyal breast so true, Great G---- expands the riband blue, There--Honour's star will s.h.i.+ne: As RAWDON was bold RICHMOND's Squire, To install a Knight so full of fire --Let ASTON, BUCKS, be thine.

JENKY, pursue Ambition's task, The King will give whate'er you ask, Nor heed the frowns of PITT; Tho' proud, he'll truckle to disgrace, By feudal meanness keep his place[3], And turn the royal spit.