The Works of Sir Thomas Browne Volume III Part 4

And although it seems not impossible, that impregnation may succeed from seminal spirits, and vaporous irradiations containing the active principle, without material and gross immissions; as it happeneth sometimes in imperforated persons, and rare conceptions of some much under p.u.b.ertie or fourteen. As may be also conjectured in the coition of some insects, wherein the female makes intrusion into the male; and from the continued ovation in Hens, from one single tread of a c.o.c.k, and little stock laid up near the vent, sufficient for durable prolification. And although also in humane generation the gross and corpulent seminal body may return again, and the great business be acted by what it caryeth with it: yet will not the same suffice to support the story in question, wherein no corpulent immission is acknowledged; answerable unto the fable of the _Talmudists_, in the storie of _Benzira_, begotten in the same manner on the daughter of the Prophet _Jeremie_.

2. The Relation of _Lucillius_, and now become common, concerning _Cra.s.sus_ the grand-father of _Marcus_ the wealthy _Roman_, that he never laughed but once in all his life, and that was at an a.s.s eating thistles, is something strange. For, if an indifferent and unridiculous object could draw his habitual austereness unto a smile, it will be hard to believe he could with perpetuity resist the proper motives thereof.

[SN: _Laughter. What kind of Pa.s.sion it is._] For the act of Laughter which is evidenced by a sweet contraction of the muscles of the face, and a pleasant agitation of the vocal Organs, is not meerly voluntary, or totally within the jurisdiction of our selves: but as it may be constrained by corporal contaction in any, and hath been enforced in some even in their death, so the new unusual or unexpected jucundities, which present themselves to any man in his life, at some time or other will have activity enough to excitate the earthiest soul, and raise a smile from most composed tempers. Certainly the times were dull when these things happened, and the wits of those Ages short of these of ours; when men could maintain such immutable faces, as to remain like statues under the flatteries of wit and persist unalterable at all efforts of Jocularity. The spirits in h.e.l.l, and _Pluto_ himself, whom _Lucian_ makes to laugh at pa.s.sages upon earth, will plainly condemn these Saturnines, and make ridiculous the magnified _Herac.l.i.tus_, who wept preposterously, and made a h.e.l.l on earth; for rejecting the consolations of life, he pa.s.sed his days in tears, and the uncomfortable attendments of h.e.l.l.

3. The same conceit there pa.s.seth concerning our blessed Saviour, and is sometimes urged as an high example of gravity. And this is opinioned, because in holy Scripture it is recorded he sometimes wept, but never that he laughed. Which howsoever granted, it will be hard to conceive how he pa.s.sed his younger years and child-hood without a smile, if as Divinity affirmeth, for the a.s.surance of his humanity unto men, and the concealment of his Divinity from the devil, he pa.s.sed this age like other children, and so proceeded untill he evidenced the same. And surely herein no danger there is to affirm the act or performance of that, whereof we acknowledge the power and essential property; and whereby indeed he most nearly convinced the doubt of his humanity. Nor need we be afraid to ascribe that unto the incarnate Son, which sometimes is attributed unto the uncarnate Father; of whom it is said, He that dwelleth in the heavens shall laugh the wicked to scorn. For a laugh there is of contempt or indignation, as well as of mirth and Jocosity; and that our Saviour was not exempted from the ground hereof, that is, the pa.s.sion of anger, regulated and rightly ordered by reason, the schools do not deny: and besides the experience of the money-changers and Dove-sellers in the Temple, is testified by St.

_John_, when he saith, the speech of _David_ [SN: Zelus domus tuae comedit me.] was fulfilled in our Saviour.

Now the Alogie of this opinion consisteth in the illation; it being not reasonable to conclude from Scripture negatively in points which are not matters of faith, and pertaining unto salvation. And therefore although in the description of the creation there be no mention of fire, Christian Philosophy did not think it reasonable presently to annihilate that element, or positively to decree there was no such thing at all.

Thus whereas in the brief narration of _Moses_ there is no record of wine before the flood, we cannot satisfactorily conclude that _Noah_ was the first that ever tasted thereof. [SN: _Only in the vulgar Latin._ Judg. 9. 53.] And thus because the word _Brain_ is scarce mentioned once, but _Heart_ above an hundred times in holy Scripture; Physitians that dispute the princ.i.p.ality of parts are not from hence induced to bereave the animal Organ of its priority. Wherefore the Scriptures being serious, and commonly omitting such Parergies, it will be unreasonable from hence to condemn all Laughter, and from considerations inconsiderable to discipline a man out of his nature. For this is by a rustical severity to banish all urbanity; whose harmless and confined condition, as it stands commended by morality, so is it consistent with Religion, and doth not offend Divinity.

4. The custom it is of Popes to change their name at their creation; and the Author thereof is commonly said to be _Bocca di porco_, or swines face; who therefore a.s.sumed the stile of _Sergius_ the second, as being ashamed so foul a name should dishonour the chair of _Peter_; wherein notwithstanding, from _Montacutius_ and others I find there may be some mistake. For _Ma.s.sonius_ who writ the lives of Popes, acknowledgeth he was not the first that changed his name in that Sea; nor as _Platina_ affirmeth, have all his Successors precisely continued that custom; for _Adrian_ the sixt, and _Marcellus_ the second, did still retain their Baptismal denomination. Nor is it proved, or probable, that _Sergius_ changed the name of _Bocca di Porco_, for this was his sirname or gentilitious appellation: nor was it the custom to alter that with the other; but be commuted his Christian name _Peter_ for _Sergius_, because he would seem to decline the name of _Peter_ the second. A scruple I confess not thought considerable in other Seas, whose Originals and first Patriarchs have been less disputed; nor yet perhaps of that reality as to prevail in points of the same nature. For the names of the Apostles, Patriarchs and Prophets have been a.s.sumed even to affectation; the name of Jesus hath not been appropriate; but some in precedent ages have born that name, and many since have not refused the Christian name of _Emmanuel_. Thus are there few names more frequent then _Moses_ and _Abraham_ among the _Jews_; The _Turks_ without scruple affect the name of _Mahomet_, and with gladness receive so honourable cognomination.

And truly in humane occurrences there ever have been many well directed intentions, whose rationalities will never bear a rigid examination, and though in some way they do commend their Authors, and such as first began them, yet have they proved insufficient to perpetuate imitation in such as have succeeded them. Thus was it a worthy resolution of _G.o.dfrey_, and most Christians have applauded it, That he refused to wear a Crown of Gold where his Saviour had worn one of thorns. Yet did not his Successors durably inherit that scruple, but some were anointed, and solemnly accepted the Diadem of regality. Thus _Julius_, _Augustus_ and _Tiberius_ with great humility or popularity refused the name of _Imperator_, but their Successors have challenged that t.i.tle, and retain the same even in its t.i.tularity. And thus to come nearer our subject, the humility of _Gregory_ the Great would by no means admit the stile of universal Bishop; but the ambition of _Boniface_ made no scruple thereof, nor of more queasie resolutions have been their Successors ever since.

[Sidenote: Turkish _History_.]

5. That _Tamerlane_ was a _Scythian_ Shepherd, from Mr. _Knolls_ and others, from _Alhazen_ a learned _Arabian_ who wrote his life, and was Spectator of many of his exploits, we have reasons to deny. Not only from his birth, for he was of the blood of the _Tartarian_ Emperours, whose father _Og_ had for his possession the Country of _Sagathy_; which was no slender Territory, but comprehended all that tract wherein were contained _Bactriana_, _Sogdiana_, _Margiana_, and the nation of the _Ma.s.sagetes_, whose capital City was _Samarcand_; a place though now decaid, of great esteem and trade in former ages. But from his regal Inauguration, for it is said, that being about the age of fifteen, his old father resigned the Kingdom and men of war unto him. And also from his education, for as the storie speaks it, he was instructed in the _Arabian_ learning, and afterward exercised himself therein. Now _Arabian_ learning was in a manner all the liberal Sciences, especially the Mathematicks, and natural Philosophy; wherein not many ages before him there flourished _Avicenna_, _Averroes_, _Avenzoar_, _Geber_, _Almanzor_ and _Alhazen_, cognominal unto him that wrote his History, whose Chronology indeed, although it be obscure, yet in the opinion of his Commentator, he was contemporary unto _Avicenna_, and hath left sixteen books of Opticks, of great esteem with ages past, and textuary unto our days.

Now the ground of this mistake was surely that which the Turkish Historian declareth. Some, saith he, of our Historians will needs have _Tamerlane_ to be the Son of a Shepherd. But this they have said, not knowing at all the custom of their Country; wherein the princ.i.p.al revenews of the King and n.o.bles consisteth in cattle; who despising gold and silver, abound in all sorts thereof. And this was the occasion that some men call them Shepherds, and also affirm this Prince descended from them. Now, if it be reasonable, that great men whose possessions are chiefly in cattle, should bear the name of Shepherds, and fall upon so low denominations; then may we say that _Abraham_ was a Shepherd, although too powerful for four Kings: that _Job_ was of that condition, who beside Camels and Oxen had seven thousand Sheep: and yet is said to be the greatest man in the East. Thus was _Mesha_ King of _Moab_ a Shepherd, who annually paid unto the Crown of _Israel_ an hundred thousand Lambs, and as many Rams. Surely it is no dishonourable course of life which _Moses_ and _Jacob_ have made exemplary: 'tis a profession supported upon the natural way of acquisition, and though contemned by the _Egyptians_, much countenanced by the Hebrews, whose sacrifices required plenty of Sheep and Lambs. And certainly they were very numerous; for, at the consecration of the Temple, beside two and twenty thousand Oxen, King _Solomon_ sacrificed an hundred and twenty thousand Sheep: and the same is observable from the daily provision of his house: which was ten fat Oxen, twenty Oxen out of the pastures, and an hundred Sheep, beside row Buck, fallow Deer, and fatted Fowls. [SN: _Description of the Turkish Seraglio, since printed. The daily provision of the Seraglio._] Wherein notwithstanding (if a punctual relation thereof do rightly inform us) the grand Seignior doth exceed: the daily provision of whose Seraglio in the reign of _Achmet_, beside Beeves, consumed two hundred Sheep, Lambs and Kids when they were in season one hundred, Calves ten, Geese fifty, Hens two hundred, Chickens one hundred, Pigeons an hundred pair.

And therefore this mistake concerning the n.o.ble _Tamerlane_, was like that concerning _Demosthenes_, who is said to be the Son of a Black-smith, according to common conceit, and that handsome expression of _Juvenal_.

_Quem pater ardentis ma.s.sae fuligine lippus, A carbone et forcipibus, gladiosq; parante Incude, et luteo Vulcano ad Rhetora misit._

_Thus Englished by Sir_ Robert _Stapleton_.

Whom's Father with the smoaky forg half blind, From blows on sooty Vulcans anvil spent.

In ham'ring swords, to study Rhet'rick sent.

But _Plutarch_ who writ his life hath cleared this conceit, plainly affirming he was most n.o.bly descended, and that this report was raised, because his father had many slaves that wrought Smiths work, and brought the profit unto him.

CHAPTER XVII

Of some others.

1. We are sad when we read the story of _Belisarius_ that worthy Chieftain of _Justinian_; who, after his Victories over _Vandals_, _Goths_, _Persians_, and his Trophies in three parts of the World, had at last his eyes put out by the Emperour, and was reduced to that distress, that he begged relief on the high-way, in that uncomfortable pet.i.tion, _Date obolum Belisario_. And this we do not only hear in Discourses, Orations and Themes, but find it also in the leaves of _Petrus Crinitus_, _Volaterra.n.u.s_, and other worthy Writers.

But, what may somewhat consolate all men that honour vertue, we do not discover the latter Scene of his Misery in Authors of Antiquity, or such as have expresly delivered the stories of those times. For, _Suidas_ is silent herein, _Cedrenus_ and _Zonaras_, two grave and punctual Authors, delivering only the confiscation of his goods, omit the History of his mendication. _Paulus Diaconus_ goeth farther, not only pa.s.sing over this act, but affirming his goods and dignities were restored. _Agathius_ who lived at the same time, declareth he suffered much from the envy of the Court: but that he descended thus deep into affliction, is not to be gathered from his pen. The same is also omitted by _Procopius_ a contemporary and professed enemy unto _Justinian_ and _Belisarius_, who hath left an opprobrious book [SN: ????d?ta, _or_ Arcana historia.]

against them both.

And in this opinion and hopes we are not single, but _Andreas Alciatus_ the Civilian in his _Parerga_, and _Franciscus de Cordua_ in his _Didascalia_, have both declaratorily confirmed the same, which is also agreeable unto the judgment of _Nicolaus Alemannus_, in his notes upon the bitter History of _Procopius_. Certainly sad and Tragical stories are seldom drawn within the circle of their verities; but as their Relators do either intend the hatred or pitty of the persons, so are they set forth with additional amplifications. Thus have some suspected it hath happened unto the story of _Oedipus_; and thus do we conceive it hath fared with that of _Judas_, who having sinned beyond aggravation, and committed one villany which cannot be exasperated by all other: is also charged with the murther of his reputed brother, parricide of his father, and Incest with his own mother, as _Florilegus_ or _Matthew_ of _Westminster_ hath at large related. And thus hath it perhaps befallen the n.o.ble _Belisarius_; who, upon instigation of the Empress, having contrived the exile, and very hardly treated Pope _Serverius_, Latin pens, as a judgment of G.o.d upon this fact, have set forth his future sufferings: and omitting nothing of amplification, they have also delivered this: which notwithstanding _Johannes_ the Greek makes doubtful, as may appear from his Iambicks in _Baronius_, and might be a mistake or misapplication, translating the affliction of one man upon another, for the same befell unto _Johannes Cappadox_, contemporary unto _Belisarius_, and in great favour with _Justinian_; who being afterward banished into _Egypt_, was fain to beg relief on the high-way. [SN: Procop. Bell. Persic. 1. ??t?? ? ????? a?te?s?a?.]

2. That _fluctus Dec.u.ma.n.u.s_, or the tenth wave is greater and more dangerous than any other, some no doubt will be offended if we deny; and hereby we shall seem to contradict Antiquity; for, answerable unto the litteral and common acception, the same is averred by many Writers, and plainly described by Ovid.

_Qui venit hic fluctus, fluctus supereminet omnes, Posterior nono est, undecimoq; prior._

Which notwithstanding is evidently false; nor can it be made out by observation either upon the sh.o.r.e or the Ocean, as we have with diligence explored in both. And surely in vain we expect a regularity in the waves of the Sea, or in the particular motions thereof, as we may in its general reciprocations whose causes are constant, and effects therefore correspondent. Whereas its fluctuations are but motions subservient; which winds, storms, sh.o.r.es, shelves, and every interjacency irregulates. With semblable reason we might expect a regularity in the winds; whereof though some be statary, some anniversary, and the rest do tend to determinate points of heaven, yet do the blasts and undulary breaths thereof maintain no certainty in their course; nor are they numerally feared by Navigators.

Of affinity hereto is that conceit of _Ovum Dec.u.manum_, so called, because the tenth egg is bigger than any other, according unto the reason alledged by _Festus, Dec.u.mana ova dic.u.n.tur, quia ovum decimum majus nascitur_. For the honour we bear unto the Clergy, we cannot but wish this true: but herein will be found no more of verity than in the other: and surely few will a.s.sent hereto without an implicite credulity, or Pythagorical submission unto every conception of number.

For, surely the conceit is numeral, and though not in the sense apprehended, relateth unto the number of ten, as _Franciscus Sylvius_ hath most probably declared. For, whereas amongst simple numbers or Digits, the number of ten is the greatest: therefore whatsoever was the greatest in every kind, might in some sense be named from this number.

Now, because also that which was the greatest, was metaphorically by some at first called _Dec.u.ma.n.u.s_; therefore whatsoever pa.s.sed under this name, was literally conceived by others to respect and make good this number.

The conceit is also Latin; for the Greeks to express the greatest wave, do use the number of three, that is, the word t?????a, which is a concurrence of three waves in one, whence arose the proverb, t?????a ?a???, or a trifluctuation of evils, which _Erasmus_ doth render, _Malorum fluctus Dec.u.ma.n.u.s_. And thus, although the terms be very different, yet are they made to signifie the self-same thing; the number of ten to explain the number of three, and the single number of one wave the collective concurrence of more.

3. The poyson of _Parysatis_ reported from _Ctesias_ by _Plutarch_ in the life of _Artaxerxes_, whereby anointing a knife on the one side, and therewith dividing a bird; with the one half she poysoned _Statira_, and safely fed her self on the other, was certainly a very subtile one, and such as our ignorance is well content it knows not. But surely we had discovered a poyson that would not endure _Pandoraes_ box, could we be satisfied in that which for its coldness nothing could contain but an a.s.ses hoof, and wherewith some report that _Alexander_ the great was poysoned. Had men derived so strange an effect from some occult or hidden qualities, they might have silenced contradiction; but ascribing it unto the manifest and open qualities of cold, they must pardon our belief, who perceive the coldest and most Stygian waters may be included in gla.s.ses; and by _Aristotle_ who saith, that gla.s.s is the perfectest work of Art, we understand they were not then to be invented.

And though it be said that poyson will break a Venice gla.s.s, yet have we not met with any of that nature. Were there a truth herein, it were the best preservative for Princes and persons exalted unto such fears: and surely far better than divers now in use. And though the best of China dishes, and such as the Emperour doth use, be thought by some of infallible vertue unto this effect; yet will they not, I fear, be able to elude the mischief of such intentions. [SN: _In what sense G.o.d Almighty hath created all things double._] And though also it be true, that G.o.d made all things double, and that if we look upon the works of the most High, there are two and two, one against another; that one contrary hath another, and poyson is not without a poyson unto it self; yet hath the curse so far prevailed, or else our industry defected that poysons are better known than their Antidotes, and some thereof do scarce admit of any. And lastly, although unto every poyson men have delivered many Antidotes, and in every one is promised an equality unto its adversary, yet do we often find they fail in their effects: Moly will not resist a weaker cup then that of Circe; a man may be poysoned in a Lemnian dish; without the miracle of _John_, there is no confidence in the earth of _Paul_ [SN: Terra Melitea.]; and if it be meant that no poyson could work upon him, we doubt the story, and expect no such success from the diet of _Mithridates_.

A story there pa.s.seth of an Indian King, that sent unto _Alexander_ a fair woman fed with Aconites and other poysons, with this intent, either by converse or copulation complexionally to destroy him. For my part, although the design were true, I should have doubted the success. For, though it be possible that poysons may meet with tempers whereto they may become Aliments, and we observe from fowls that feed on fishes, and others fed with garlick and onyons, that simple aliments are not alwayes concocted beyond their vegetable qualities; and therefore that even after carnall conversion, poysons may yet retain some portion of their natures; yet are they so refracted, cicurated and subdued, as not to make good their first and destructive malignities. And therefore the Stork that eateth Snakes, and the Stare that feedeth upon Hemlock, though no commendable aliments, are not destructive poysons. For, animals that can innoxiously digest these poysons, become antidotall unto the poyson digested. And therefore whether their breath be attracted, or their flesh ingested, the poysonous reliques go still along with their Antidote: whose society will not permit their malice to be destructive. And therefore also animals that are not mischieved by poysons which destroy us, may be drawn into Antidote against them; the blood or flesh of Storks against the venom of Serpents, the Quail against h.e.l.lebore, and the diet of Starlings against the drought of _Socrates_ [SN: _Hemlock._]. Upon like grounds are some parts of Animals Alexipharmacall unto others; and some veins of the earth, and also whole regions, not only destroy the life of venemous creatures, but also prevent their productions. For though perhaps they contain the seminals of Spiders and Scorpions, and such as in other earths by suscitiation of the Sun may arise unto animation; yet lying under command of their Antidote, without hope of emergency they are poysoned in their matrix by powers easily hindring the advance of their originals, whose confirmed forms they are able to destroy.

5. The story of the wandring Jew is very strange, and will hardly obtain belief; yet is there a formall account thereof set down by _Mathew Paris_, from the report of an Armenian Bishop; who came into this kingdom about four hundred years ago, and had often entertained this wanderer at his Table. That he was then alive, was first called _Cartaphilus_, was keeper of the Judgement Hall, whence thrusting out our Saviour with expostulation of his stay, was condemned to stay untill his return [SN: Vade quid moraris? Ego vado, tu autem morare donec venio.]; was after baptized by _Ananias_, and by the name of _Joseph_; was thirty years old in the dayes of our Saviour, remembred the Saints that arised with him, the making of the Apostles Creed, and their several peregrinations. Surely were this true, he might be an happy arbitrator in many Christian controversies; but must impardonably condemn the obstinacy of the Jews, who can contemn the Rhetorick of such miracles, and blindly behold so living and lasting conversions.

6. Clearer confirmations must be drawn for the history of Pope _Joan_, who succeeded _Leo_ the fourth, and preceeded _Benedict_ the third, then many we yet discover. And since it is delivered with _aiunt_ and _ferunt_ by many; since the learned _Leo Allatius_ [SN: Confutatio fabulae de Joanna Pap.i.s.sa c.u.m Nihusio.] hath discovered, that ancient copies of _Martinus Polonus_, who is chiefly urged for it, had not this story in it; since not only the stream of Latine Historians have omitted it, but _Photius_ the Patriarch, _Metrophanes Smyrnaeus_, and the exasperated Greeks have made no mention of it, but conceded _Benedict_ the third to bee Successor unto _Leo_ the fourth; he wants not grounds that doubts it.

Many things historicall which seem of clear concession, want not affirmations and negations, according to divided pens: as is notoriously observable in the story of _Hildebrand_ or _Gregory_ the seventh, repugnantly delivered by the Imperiall and Papal party. In such divided records partiality hath much depraved history, wherein if the equity of the reader do not correct the iniquity of the writer, he will be much confounded with repugnancies, and often find in the same person, _Numa_ and _Nero_. In things of this nature moderation must intercede; and so charity may hope, that Roman Readers will construe many pa.s.sages in _Bolsech_, _Fayus_, _Schlusselberg_ and _Cochlaeus_. [SN: _Of_ Luther, Calvin, Beza.]

7. Every ear is filled with the story of Frier _Bacon_ [SN: Rog. Bacon.

minor ita. Oxoniensis vir doctissimus.], that made a brazen head to speak these words, _Time is_, Which though there want not the like relations, is surely too literally received, and was but a mystical fable concerning the Philosophers great work, wherein he eminently laboured: implying no more by the copper head, then the vessel wherein it was wrought, and by the words it spake, then the opportunity to be watched, about the _Tempus ortus_, or birth of the mystical child, or Philosophical King of _Lullius_: the rising of the _Terra foliata_ of _Arnoldus_, when the earth sufficiently impregnated with the water, ascendeth white and splendent. Which not observed, the work is irrecoverably lost; according to that of _Petrus Bonus [SN: Margarita pretiosa.]. Ibi est operis perfectio aut annihilatio; quoniam ipsa die, immo hora, oriuntur elementa simplicia depurata, quae egent statim compositione, antequam volent ab igne._

Now letting slip this critical opportunity, he missed the intended treasure. Which had he obtained, he might have made out the tradition of making a brazen wall about _England_. That is, the most powerfull defence, and strongest fortification which Gold could have effected.

8. Who can but pitty the vertuous _Epicurus_, who is commonly conceived to have placed his chief felicity in pleasure and sensual delights, and hath therefore left an infamous name behind him? How true, let them determine who read that he lived seventy years, and wrote more books then any Philosopher but _Chrysippus_, and no less then three hundred, without borrowing from any Author. That he was contented with bread and water, and when he would dine with _Jove_, and pretend unto epulation, he desired no other addition then a piece of _Cytheridian_ cheese. That shall consider the words of _Seneca, Non dico, quod pleriq; nostrorum, sectam Epicuri flagitiorum magistrum esse: sed illud dico, male audit infamis est, et immerito_. Or shall read his life, his Epistles, his Testament in _Laertius_, who plainly names them Calumnies, which are commonly said against them.

The ground hereof seems a mis-apprehension of his opinion, who placed his Felicity not in the pleasures of the body, but the mind, and tranquility thereof, obtained by wisdom and vertue, as is clearly determined in his Epistle unto _Menceus_. Now how this opinion was first traduced by the _Stoicks_, how it afterwards became a common belief, and so taken up by Authors of all ages, by _Cicero_, _Plutarch_, _Clemens_, _Ambrose_ and others, the learned Pen of _Ga.s.sendus_ hath discovered. [SN: De vita et moribus Epicuri.]

CHAPTER XVIII

More briefly of some others.

Other relations there are, and those in very good Authors, which though we do not positively deny, yet have they not been unquestioned by some, and at least as improbable truths have been received by others. Unto some it hath seemed incredible what _Herodotus_ reporteth of the great Army of _Xerxes_, that drank whole rivers dry. And unto the Author himself it appeared wondrous strange, that they exhausted not the provision of the Countrey, rather then the waters thereof. For as he maketh the account, and _Budeus de a.s.se_ correcting the mis-compute of _Valla_, delivereth it; if every man of the Army had had a chenix of Corn a day, that is, a s.e.xtary and half; or about two pints and a quarter, the Army had daily expended ten hundred thousand and forty Medimna's, or measures containing six Bushels. Which rightly considered, the _Abderites_ had reason to bless the Heavens, that _Xerxes_ eat but one meal a day; and _Pythius_ his n.o.ble Host, might with less charge and possible provision entertain both him and his Army. And yet may all be salved, if we take it hyperbolically, as wise men receive that expression in _Job_, concerning _Behemoth_ or the Elephant; Behold, he drinketh up a river and hasteth not, he trusteth that he can draw up _Jordan_ into his mouth.

2. That _Annibal_ eat or brake through the Alps with Vinegar, may be too grosly taken and the Author of his life annexed unto _Plutarch_ affirmeth only, he used this artifice upon the tops of some of the highest mountains. For as it is vulgarly understood, that he cut a pa.s.sage for his Army through those mighty mountains, it may seem incredible, not only in the greatness of the effect, but the quant.i.ty of the efficient and such as behold them, may think an Ocean of Vinegar too little for that effect. 'Twas a work indeed rather to be expected from earthquakes and inundations, then any corrosive waters, and much condemneth the Judgement of _Xerxes_, that wrought through Mount _Athos_ with Mattocks.

3. That _Archimedes_ burnt the s.h.i.+ps of _Marcellus_, with speculums of parabolical figures, at three furlongs, or as some will have it, at the distance of three miles, sounds hard unto reason, and artificial experience: and therefore justly questioned by _Kircherus_ [SN: De luce et umbra.], who after long enquiry could find but one made by _Manfredus Septalius_ that fired at fifteen paces. And therefore more probable it is, that the s.h.i.+ps were nearer the sh.o.r.e, or about some thirty paces: at which distance notwithstanding the effect was very great. But whereas men conceive the s.h.i.+ps were more easily set on flame by reason of the pitch about them, it seemeth no advantage. Since burning gla.s.ses will melt pitch or make it boyle, not easily set it on fire.

4. The story of the _Fabii_, whereof three hundred and six marching against the _Veientes_, were all slain, and one child alone to support the family remained; is surely not to be paralleld, nor easie to be conceived, except we can imagine, that of three hundred and six, but one had children below the service of war; that the rest were all unmarried, or the wife but of one impregnated.

5. The received story of _Milo_, who by daily lifting a Calf, attained an ability to carry it being a Bull, is witty conceit, and handsomly sets forth the efficacy of a.s.suefaction. But surely the account had been more reasonably placed upon some person not much exceeding in strength, and such a one as without the a.s.sistance of custom could never have performed that act; which some may presume that _Milo_ without precedent artifice or any other preparative, had strength enough to perform. For as relations declare, he was the most pancratical man of _Greece_, and as _Galen_ reporteth, and _Mercurialis_ in his Gymnasticks representeth, he was able to persist erect upon an oyled plank, and not to be removed by the force or protrusion of three men. And if that be true which _Atheneus_ reporteth, he was little beholding to custom for this ability. For in the Olympick games, for the s.p.a.ce of a furlong, he carried an Ox of four years upon his shoulders; and the same day he carried it in his belly: for as it is there delivered he eat it up himself. Surely he had been a proper guest at _Grandgousiers_ feast, and might have matcht his throat that eat six pilgrims for a Salad. [SN: In Rabelais.]