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Chapter 792 Lingering Regrets
Strong gusts of wind hit his body as Elric was partially in a trance while affirming his resolve to jump down from the edge. The worst day of his life had broken his will to live and give up on everything as a living human being.
Step!
And finally, with a loud step, he stood over the ledge and looked down below at the street and the bustling crowd.
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes as a cold breeze trickled on his face, speaking in a depressed voice…
"Man, what a pathetic life it was".
However, unlike the last time in his story… an anomaly occurred.
"It's not worth it." spoke a man in black and blue longcoat attire of n.o.bility and a warrior mixed together.
"She wasn't worth it." he spoke in a solemn voice.
"Your family wasn't worth it." he walked forth and stood behind Elric who was still on the ledge.
"You… Who are you?" asked the stifled Elric who had a pale expression as he was crying from the past 7 hours.
But with that question alone, Kahn understood that this grown-up Elric and the younger Elric were from separate memories and had no connection between them.
"I'm you, but stronger." responded Kahn while revealing a mysterious aura.
"But who is 'I'm you, but stronger'?" asked the confused Elric.
Kahn rolled his eyes in response and leaned towards the parapet beside Elric.
"Don't! If you come close, I'll jump for real!" exclaimed Elric.
"Yeah, I know you will." responded Kahn as he gave a lifeless expression.
"Because you already did."
----------------
Soon, Kahn started a casual and random small talk instead of trying to deter Elric from jumping down.
Because at this moment in his mind… at this moment, he had come to understand why things transpired that day the way they did.
This was the truth Kahn hadn't figured out back when he committed suicide.
But now from a 3rd person's view and his old memories… there was much more story behind why he decided to commit suicide that night.
It wasn't just loneliness, heartbreak or depression but a culmination of too many emotions and failures in his life that pushed the old him aka Elric to the edge.
And finally, Kahn decided to address the important topic.
"I know of your suffering. I know you have been desperate and yearning for love and companions.h.i.+p all your life.
And yet, you chose to run away from reality because you were afraid of being hurt again. You were scared that you would be abandoned in the end just like your parents did.
Since childhood, you were all alone by yourself." he spoke in a crestfallen voice.
"Who are you?! How do you know so much about me?" asked Elric in bewilderment.
"Come down and I will tell you everything." replied Kahn nonchalantly as if he didn't really care if Elric jumped or not.
This made even Elric feel like something was happening behind the curtain.
But in reality… Kahn was just fooling his oversuspicious old him. Naturally, he knew his own personality back then so he tricked Elric into overthinking his approach.
However… Elric didn't move even with the risk of falling with a single strong breeze.
Watching his conduct, Kahn sighed and spoke.
"Reading those mangas, novels and watching those anime, movies and tv shows were just a distraction to the core problem.
You were suffocating inside. And you used them to escape reality temporarily.
However… it never solved the deep psychological trauma and issues you had even after all these years.
And tonight… it became unbearable." he spoke with a gloomy voice as he directly gazed into Elric's eyes.
The dazzling moon in the sky and the cold breeze in this tranquil atmosphere fluttered both of their clothes but at this moment, both Elric and Kahn felt an indescribable form of connection between them.
"Before you make that decision to jump down… Let me tell you a story." said Kahn, his tall figure standing firmly and revealing an enigmatic aura.
He iterated again…
"Let me tell you… 'OUR' story."
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3 Hours Later.
Kahn told him the truth and everything that happened after he committed suicide as Elric.
His reincarnation by G.o.d of Darkness, his entry in Vantrea, the subordinates, close friends and allies he made in his new life as well as his gradual journey to the present moment when he took the trial.
Kahn did not hide a single thing from Elric learning from his experience with the young Elric from before.
The brown-haired, blue-eyed and spectacles-wearing Elric was overwhelmed after hearing all of this information.
"So you mean I'm not real? And this is just a test from your… from 'our' memory?" he asked in a skeptical tone.
And all Kahn could do was nod.
"Ha ha ha!
It sounds messed up." suddenly, Elric laughed as if this was some kind of joke.
"So you're telling me that you reincarnated into a different world like those novels and still didn't make it big despite being some sort of 'Protagonist' halo around you?
Which kind of a noob and pretentious moron of an author wrote this novel then?
You're not following any standard story pattern I've ever read or could imagine." he laughed off, attempting to provoke Kahn in a way to check his claims.
"It is true. Unexpectedly, I'm not following any standard isekai story trope.
I don't even have half the important and necessary information about the world I'm in even till this point." spoke Kahn truthfully.
"Tell me something… what do you expect from this 'new' life?" asked Elric in a somber tone.
Kahn chuckled and gazed at the bright moon in the sky.
"Even I don't know.
I'm just trying relentlessly to survive and hide until I no longer have to.
I just do not want to live the same way 'we' did in the past.
I have many things I wanted to do differently. Both on Earth and Vantrea.
But things such as Fate and Destiny are mysterious things that cannot be fathomed by anyone.
No matter how smart I act or plan for everything... I cannot control what's happening outside in the world.
I'm not an omnipotent or omniscient G.o.d, you know." he replied with a sorrowful gaze.
"So I will eventually seek to become more than what I am today.
And I don't wish to stop till I no longer need to hide or fear anyone.
As for what higher purpose or goal there is to life…
I will search for it once I have everything else." he replied and a light smile appeared on Kahn's face.
"I see. In other words..." spoke Elric as he too found this situation ironic.
"We're still confused in another life as well."
Unlike the young him, Elric had seen more of the world and was mature at this point.
Thanks to Kahn, he had come out of his depressed state completely after hearing about his adventures in the 'new' life and could finally let go of his anger and hatred at himself and his 'current' life.
"If what you've told me is indeed the real truth; for your sake and mine…" said Elric as he revealed a resolute and confident expression after hearing Kahn's and his own 'future' story. And finally, he made a life-changing decision.
"I won't make the same mistake again." he declared.
"And I hope you don't ruin your second chance as well." spoke Elric, his countenance showing that he was convinced as he came down from the ledge and looked at Kahn who was taller than him.
He then shook Kahn's hand and spoke in an appreciative tone.
"Thank you… for being the person who came for me in the lowest moment of my life.
The one I needed the most at this point.
And I want to ask you to do something for both of our sake." he said with an amicable smile.
"Do what?" questioned Kahn with a suspicious gaze.
"It's okay... You can let it go now."
Those were Elric's last words as he turned into a gray fog and entered Kahn's palm where they had been shaking hands.
Elric's figure faded into nothingness as Kahn was bamboozled.
"What did he mean by those words?" he wondered.
Hum!
Hum!
In the very next moment, a surge of heavy and indescribable feelings. .h.i.t Kahn's mind as a tsunami of emotions appeared in his consciousness.
For the next couple of minutes, Kahn was speechless and frozen on the spot with his eyes closed.
Hatred, anger, self-doubt, pity, helplessness, the feeling of never being good enough as well as regret of never making necessary changes to achieve happiness in life... All those emotions. .h.i.t Kahn's consciousness.
And finally, when he opened his eyes, he intently gazed at the sky filled with bright stars and moon and spoke in a crestfallen voice…
"Man, I hate these kinds of trials. Who the h.e.l.l wants to do soul searching at this point." he said like he detested this scenario created by this trial.
But soon… two drops of tears appeared in his eyes, slowly coming down towards his jaw while Kahn himself clenched his fists tightly.
After so many years since being summoned in Vantrea… Kahn genuinely cried for the first time from the depth of his heart.
What did Elric mean by his last words? What emotions did he convey to Kahn after he was absorbed by the latter?
"I'm still so pathetic. Even after dying and reincarnating… Even after getting a 2nd chance at life…
I still can't let go of my past life's lingering regrets." he spoke in a heavy tone.
"Elric was right. What's the point of living a new life if I am still shackled by the regrets and mistakes of my past?" he spoke in a somber tone.
As the moments pa.s.sed, his pitiful countenance started changing.
"It's time I let go. It's time…" said Kahn.
He wiped off his tears and revealed a content expression as he spoke with a resolute mind with a feeling as if he was reborn.
"To move on."