Everybody is Kung Fu Fighting, While I Started a Farm - LightNovelsOnl.com
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Chapter 225: Grilling the Golden-Winged Roc
Swis.h.!.+
In the instant that Dong Haichuan gasped in surprise, Cheng Dongfeng had stuffed the two mineral water bottles at lightning speed, before staring blankly at Dong Haichuan and asking uncertainly, “What were you saying, grand-master?”
“Origin Fluid? Are you giving me a few bottles?”
Dong Haichuan scowled at once, and shot Cheng Dongfeng a vicious glare.
What’s going on in this buster’s head?
Afraid that your grand-master would greed for your Origin Fluid?
Am I even such a person?
Fine, even if I do have such intentions, wouldn’t you be causing Brother Jiang He to misunderstand with you acting like this?
And you would still play dumb in front of me?
I would have slapped you to death if Jiang He weren’t here!
“Origin Fluid?”
After a glance at Cheng Dongfeng, Jiang He realized with a start then—that dog was not here to collect empty bottles, but for the drips of rank-nine Origin Fluid left inside...
But it was not as if Jiang He were being wasteful.
Who would drink mineral bottles dry after all?
And for Jiang He, rank-nine Origin Fluid was no different from mineral water, and leaving half a sip or more was logical!
Still...
Was this necessary?
Making treasures of his sloppy seconds?
In the wildlands, I used that to brush my teeth and even gargle.
Or could the Eight Trigrams School have some sort of eccentricity?
Jiang He could not help feeling chills at that thought, and decided that he would rather feed his dog than give his bottles to Cheng Dongfeng. As such, he promptly put fist to palm and said, “Master Dong, Mast... grandson Cheng, I suddenly remembered something urgent to do back home. Farewell!”
Whoos.h.!.+
Turning, Jiang He turned into a thunderbolt and disappeared from Cheng Dongfeng’s sight.
d.a.m.n it!
Cheng Dongfeng stared in the direction from which Jiang He had vanished and suddenly punched a wall, which collapsed with a loud rumble. Even so, Cheng Dongfeng took no notice and cursed, “He really is divine-tier now? Is he even human?”
How many days had it been?
Was he not merely rank-four when Cheng Dongfeng first arrived at Lingzhou city?
“Hold on... that brat actually called me grandson?”
Cheng Dongfeng was furious.
Nonetheless, he felt a pain in the head even before he could go on a rant—Dong Haichuan had slapped him on the back of the head.
“Buster!”
Dong Haichuan barked in rage. “What status is Jiang He? Is he someone you call brat?”
Still, before Cheng Dongfeng could say anything, Dong Haichuan extended his hand and grasped, taking into the air and flew away rapidly. Still, his voice reached Cheng Dongfeng despite the distance, resounding in his head, “Xiao Feng, remember to be courteous towards Jiang He in the future.”
Cheng Dongfeng frowned in slight surprise.
Grand-master...
Was leaving just like that?
With how his grand-master usually behaved, was he not supposed to drag him to a restaurant for a generous meal, even paying for it?
But he soon noticed something and reached into his pocket, almost bursting into tears...
One of the bottles was gone.
That was when one of the MAD personnel jogged towards Cheng Dongfeng, glancing at the collapsed wall and then at the man himself before asking warily, “What happened, Master Cheng?”
“Nothing.”
Cheng Dongfeng said through clenched teeth. “Get someone to fix that wall, and claim the costs from Chief Duan. Tell him my grand-master broke it!”
But even as he stormed off, a thought occurred to him.
Why not...
He move to stay outside Jiang He’s house?
Making bed on the floor was fine, since he would be making a killing if he could pick up a few bottles afterward.
Even as those thoughts crossed his mind, he unwittingly arrived at Duan Tianhe’s office to find Duan Tianhe and Ji Dongxu seated together, scowling.
“What is it?”
Cheng Dongfeng asked, puzzled.
Duan Tianhe rubbed his temples and forced a smile. “I’ve just received news that the Yuzhen garrison will withdraw by tomorrow. 2000 military personnel would remain behind under Commander Chen’s command, aiding the defense of Lingzhou City.”
“That’s good news!”
Taking a seat on the sofa, Cheng Dongfeng picked up a teapot and poured himself a cup of tea, laughing. “Commander Chen and 2000 fully armed soldiers would greatly boost the strength of our city. Why the long faces over such good news?”
“The military’s divine-tier elite watching Mount Dadong would leave too, and Jiang He would be in charge of that area now.”
“What?”
Cheng Dongfeng almost spat out the tea he just drank, unable to hold back from exclaiming, “What the heck? Who arranged that? Don’t they know what’s Jiang He like? Aren’t they afraid he would start trouble, putting him in charge of Mount Dadong?!”
“It’s a joint command issued by both Minister w.a.n.g and Commander Li of the military.”
Duan Tianhe looked rather helpless.
It was more than enough to have Jiang He stand guard over Mount Dadong, but who knows what he would do with his att.i.tude?
After musing to himself for a long time, Duan Tianhe then said, “Old Cheng, let’s prepare to head up to Jinyintan Village for a good chat with Jiang He. After all, it’s no exaggeration to say that the post at Mount Dadong involves millions of lives.”
Going to Jiang He’s house?
Cheng Dongfeng promptly rose to his feet and declared, “Old Duan, you have work to do so you should stay. I shall undertake such a difficult mission alone!”
“Don’t worry about me. When have I ever been a cause for concern when I do things?”
“On this day, I would get Jiang He to watch over Mount Dadong even if it means kneeling and kowtowing.”
That’s...
Not quite right!
When did Cheng Dongfeng become so diligent?
Even so, Duan Tianhe did not dwell on it much, merely frowning as he said, “Something important must have been happened for the military and divine-tier elites to change posts. What could have forced the higher-ups to implement such measures?”
***
Jinyintan Village.
Whoos.h.!.+
A thunderbolt streaked across the horizon, with Jiang He then descending from the skies.
The Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers all came to meet time the moment he stepped through the door, surrounding him in an uproar.
“Gramps is back, gramps is back!”
“Weren’t you going to treat us to eagle, gramps?”
“Yes, we want to eat eagle!”
The seventh brother who never had much of a presence suddenly yelled, and soon all seven brothers yelled the same thing, crying for the eagle.
His head aching, Jiang He kicked each of the seven brothers into the air, scolding, “What a bunch of brats! Eat dung instead! Anyone yelling a little louder will be stuffed and sealed into their bottle gourd!”
Though tearful, the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers remained lying on the floor, not daring to throw a tantrum.
Jiang He’s heart softened at that, since they were his grandkids whom he planted.
As such, he said feebly, “Fine, stop crying. I’ll grill you an eagle alright.”
Sora came to him then and asked, “Should I prepare dinner as well, master?”
“No need. We’ll have grilled birdie tonight.”
Delighted, Sora exclaimed, “I want some birdie too, master. Please, I want to eat birdie too...”
Jiang He facepalmed!
How the heck did those words become so erotic when Sora said it?
Nonetheless, the Golden-Winged Roc was too huge and had to be grilled outside.
Stepping out, Jiang He dumped the Golden-Winged Roc on the ground and instructed the Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers to pluck its feathers, since there’s no cooking it with its feathers.
And yet...
The Seven Bottle Gourd Brothers pulled as hard as they could, but they could not remove even a single feather.
After all, the Golden-Winged Roc had cultivated itself until its feathers were harder than even S-grade alloys, and each feather was basically fused to his body. How were the brothers supposed to pluck it out?
Hence, Jiang He had to do everything by himself.
Pluck the feathers.
Clear out the innards.
Was.h.i.+ng.
The process took one full hour.
In the end, Jiang He whipped out his golden cleaver and cut long gashes into the Golden-Winged Roc’s body, so that the flavoring would fuse quicker to the meat when they start grilling the bird.
As for how they would grill it...
Became another major problem as well.
Still, Jiang He suddenly got an idea after musing to himself for a while.
Whipping out his Scarlet Flame Sword and enlarging it over 200 meters at a thought, he stabbed it into the Golden-Winged Roc’s corpse and held it aloft. Sitting crossed-legged up in the air, he ordered Dumbo, Trumbo, and Fourth Brother to come up and use their fire abilities to bake the Golden-Winged Roc.
Other function notwithstanding, the flying sword is so convenient for grilling larger Ferals!
“That said...”
“Isn’t this too slow?”
Jiang He shook his head. The bird might not be fully cooked even after ten hours if they continued cooking it like this.
Charging his mana, the Scarlet Flame Sword promptly released scarlet flames that blazed away, consuming the entire bird, ad a fragrant aroma reached the nose soon enough.
“Wow!”
“That smells so nice!”
Cheng Dongfeng had arrived by car just then. Parking it aside, he got off and took a hard sniff before he turned to Jiang He, who was floating in the air and then at the flame-covered Golden-Winged Roc, exclaiming in surprise, “What the h.e.l.l? Where did you get such a big chicken?”
After all, the featherless Golden-Winged Roc really resembled a chicken.
Jiang He was about to explain when Cheng Dongfeng found the golden feathers strewn all over the floor. Picking up one that was as tall as himself and studying it closely, even testing its hardness, he turned to Jiang He and exclaimed in shock, “The Violet-Crowned Golden Eagle? Jiang He, you actually cooked it?”
“Hold on...”
That was when Cheng Dongfeng turned and saw the giant sword that pierced through the Golden-Winged Roc’s body, and could not help inhaling sharply—
“Gasp!”
“Such a large sword?”
“b.u.mpkin!”
Dumbo, who was sitting aside and drooling as he stared at the Golden-Winged Roc with burning eyes, turned to glance at Cheng Dongfeng in disdain. Its lisp curled up as it said in contempt, “Where did you come from, b.u.mpkin?”
“My master just returned from a hunt, and this one’s called the Golden-Winged Roc or something. Why would you call it the Violet-Crowned Golden Eagle?”
Dumbo studied Cheng Dongfeng from head to toe, and when it saw Cheng Dongfeng staring at itself as if he had seen a ghost, it promptly barked in its Sichuan-Xibei accent, “You tool, your eyes are round as the moon! What are you looking at?
“What, never seen a dog this handsome?”
Smack!
Jiang He slapped Dumbo into the ground from the distance as a vein bulged on his forehead, before barking with a dark look, “G.o.d d.a.m.n it, shut your trap and go away!”
He leapt down from the skies.
Grasping the two-hundred-meter long Scarlet Flame Sword to lift the now golden oily Violet-Crowned Golden Eagle, he took out his cleaver to cut a piece and had a taste.
However, he could not help complaining, “Why is the meat so old?”
“Huh... it tastes aged right after it enters the mouth, but after a few mouthfuls, it becomes quite chewy.”
“Want some, Old Cheng?”
“Eh? Old Cheng... Old Cheng?”
Jiang He waved his hand in front of Cheng Dongfeng’s eyes when the latter did not react.
Cheng Dongfeng only came to his senses then.
Raising his hand, he suddenly slapped himself viciously!
Smack!
‘Ah...
‘It hurts!
‘So I wasn’t dreaming?!’