The Paladin Order Reformed 32 Reconciled

Something pulled me back and I was forced to lay back, looking into Lili's deep blue eyes staring at me with concern.

Rage filled me, I rolled off of her lap, my entire body screamed in opposition. I slowly staggered to my feet and tried to limp away, but she held onto my arm with a strong grip. I tried to pull my arm from her grip, but she stood firm. Forced to face her, I glowered at her with disgust, but she ignored it saying earnestly.

"Christian, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But I can explain myself if you can just hear me out." I shook my head slowly without taking my eyes off her.

"What is there to talk about, you betrayed me. You sold me out to your brother, I trusted you with everything I had, but that never mattered. You took my heart and crushed it, you betrayed me and left me to die." I huffed.

It broke my heart to say, but I've been through too much. I've been fighting for so long and I've lost so much, I'm.... I'm just so tired. Being with Lili restored me, just her smile filled with me with relief. It made her betrayal hurt that much more, I felt devastated, I still do.

Anger chokes me, and I can barely hold her gaze. I need to get out of here, I can't bear looking at her anymore. Feelings of hopelessness and loneliness permeates through me, reminding me what awaits me if I leave.

Surprisingly she hugged me, she squeezed me tightly and said. "I love you, Christian, I would die in your stead. I'm sorry I deceived you, but if you've ever felt anything for me, then please listen."

I sighed but turned to listen for her sake. She let go of my wrist and held my hand in both of hers, she stared into my eyes and said.

"We were doing well traveling at night and using spells to mask our presence, but when we were eating the meal you prepared for us that night, everything was fine until the wind changed direction. Only then I realized that we were completely surrounded by beastmen, that's why I was acting so nervous." Her eyes were glistening and she had to choke back a sob.

"If I would have told you, then they would have heard and killed us both, if we would have fought then we both would have died. I knew there was only one way to save you, but I couldn't bring myself to chose it.

Christian, I didn't do what I did easily, even you wouldn't be able to fight off that many beastmen at once. You were barely able to defeat Rett as it is.

So once I knew you were asleep I met with Rett and negotiated for your life, he was determined to kill you as revenge for our uncle Robart who was the commander of the town I was stationed in. I was only able to convince him to spare your life if I helped capture you."

Tears ran down her cheeks like shooting stars from s.h.i.+mmered like a stary night out of those sparkling blue eyes. Eyes that were filled with love

She wrapped her arms around me and dug her face deep into my chest crying. Her body trembled with each sob, I was taken aback at first, but instinctively I rubbed her back soothingly and whispered calming words of affirmation.

Through sobs, she muttered. "I...I almost killed you! I'm so sorry, I..I was just trying to save you. I terrified when you were fighting, I tried to reach you, I tried to help but I couldn't. I could do nothing but watch, they forced me to watch!"

My bare chest became damp with tears, she buried her face deeper, refusing to let go in fear of me being taken away. I sat with her in my arms as she cried helplessly like a baby.

"I'm terrible, I should have told you about them or warned you somehow. I was just so afraid, the thought of losing you makes my whole body ache. I know you must hate me, I've been a terrible burden to you, I've done nothing but harm you. I'm sorry Christian, I... I think we should stay away from each other, I don't want to burden you anymore."

She looked up wiping away a few stray tears, her eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, but I could see the truth in her words. She wasn't lying, and she was willing to leave just to make me happy. I smiled sadly, while she muttered.

"I'll get my stuff and I'll leave, but I just want you to know that I will always love you Christian. Maybe I'll be able to see you again, I don't know when, but I will always cherish the moments we've shared." She moved to get up, but I lifted my finger to her chin and turned her face to mine.

With my other hand I flicked her on the forehead, she let out a small yelp and whimpered slightly from surprise. I hugged her tightly and said.

"There's your punishment, all is forgiven." I smiled warmly and proposed. "You don't need to go anywhere. No, Actually I need you to stay. I wish it was easy to say goodbye, but I can't let you go. I've been hurt so many time, I've fought for so long, I can't do it by myself anymore.

"I was ready to let you go, but I see how blind I was. You did everything for my sake, you didn't think of yourself once. You're everything I could want, everything I need, please don't tell me goodbye. You brought me back, you kept me from giving in and dying. I almost gave up and accepted my fate, but seeing you.....It changed everything. I want to live a long life with you, I want to fix all this c.r.a.p and make a good place where our children can grow up in peace." She jumped back out of my embrace.

Her face ignited and her hands covered her mouth in surprise, she demanded. "What you just say?"

My face fl.u.s.tered and I put my hand to my forehead in frustration, "What did I just say?" I asked exasperated. "I can't believe I just said that to her, c.r.a.p!! I'm such an idiot!" I looked up at her slowly, expecting her to be wearing an expression of repulse, but instead, she was smiling ear to ear with her tail shaking furiously.

She grabbed onto my arm and held it close saying. "You think of us like that! I'm so happy! I'm so surprised, but I'm so glad you feel the same. I was afraid I was jumping ahead of myself." She was practically bouncing with excitement around me.

I said with a little reluctancy. "Well yeah, but we haven't known each other long, do you think we should be jumping to conclusions?" I hated to be the voice of reason, but it's not exactly like we've known each other for years and here we are talking about marriage.

She looked at me as if I said something stupid. "You do realize we've risked both our lives for each other multiple times, right? How is knowing my favorite color more going to make me like you more than the MULTIPLE times you've endangered yourself for me? I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm easy, but you've earned it, you hold my heart."

She giggled childishly as she clung to me. "You're too much of a keeper to let go of Christian, I'm sorry. You'll just have to deal with it because I'm not letting anyone else have you." She grabbed my face with both hands, making me look like a gapping fish, squis.h.i.+ng my cheeks together.

She beamed as she said with confidence. "Because you're mine, got that?" With squished lips, I responded. "Owkay, wuhatever ou sey." At this, she hugged me gleefully and again started jumping excitedly.

Then she berated me with hundreds of questions. "What should we name our kids? How many do you want? Do you want girls or boys, or BOTH! We should have twins! I want twins, I hope they have your smile, when should our wedding be? Where should we have it? I want to have it on a beach! What kind of house do you want? I wouldn't mind something cozy, but It better not be cramped. Do you think Sir Richard will approve? He should do the ceremony, imagine how happy he'd be! I guess we can invite Aliece, but only so I can gloat."

She continued to drone on, but thankfully someone unexpected showed up to rescue me.

Rett swaggered through the canvas door flap of my tent with his uninjured hand in his pocket, he grinned at his sister's eagerness and said addressing me "Hey step-bro, I guess you two made up then? Good, by the way, I want to be one of your groomsmen. I'll make sure you have the worlds best bachelor party, I guarantee it."

I stare at him in disbelief, starting to wonder if I've actually been in a dream this entire time and ask. "Didn't you try and kill me earlier? Why the change in tone now?"

He shrugged indifferently and stated. "You beat me, you earned my respect. Not much other than that." He stepped closer to my cot and kneeled saying.

"Paladin Knight Christian, you've beaten me fairly in single combat. According to the ancient laws of our revered ancestors, you have earned the place of chieftain amongst us. I now appoint you the leader of the "Moon Claws."