The Azure King's Last Life 9 How To Tease Underage Girls

"Oh yeah." Roland remembered just then. He HAD forgotten something after all. Fred. "Sorry, had things to do. You thirsty?" Roland waved a cup of water. His good intentions were ignored.

"I was forced to watch squirrels f.u.c.king over a tree branch." Fred sniffled. "They were at it for so long, in so many positions…!"

"Huh. You get off, at least?" Roland attempted a joke, picking the man--head--up and presenting him to the staring kids.

"Go to h.e.l.l!" Came the surly reply.

"I really should." He nodded. "I haven't been in a while. Now that I think of it, I wonder how Jezebel's getting on." The only daughter of the Duke of l.u.s.t was quite a pa.s.sionate one and had the most amazing tongue. "Anyway." He held the man up by his hair." Let me officially introduce Fred. He's the last guy who p.i.s.sed me off." Roland smiled at them. James idly rubbed his throat with a frown.

" But I feel bad because the a.s.shole lost his memory and has basically reverted to the mind of someone your guys' age. So I'm going to help him. I'm thinking Terminator body. Get him all tricked out."

Roland can't reconnect him to any organic body, but a fully synthetic one was doable. Since that's the case he considered his options and decided to take him to a Dwarf Star. And no, not that kind.

He's talking of the kind artificially created and designed by the Dwarves. They and the human race were the best at creating all sorts of neat gadgets. He's sure he could find a nice body for the guy at one of those places.

You had creatures like the Fae, the vampires, G.o.ds, Devils and Immortals. But supernatural beings weren't the only intelligent races in the vast multi-verse.

There were many "alien" races out there and even many pockets of humans--and we use the term as a broad generality--had long since discovered travel between planets.

If it can't be solved with magic, science could often get the job done. That was especially true in this case. This kind of magic wasn't smart, it wasn't very self-aware or capable of making it's own judgments. So you could totally fool it.

And that's exactly what Roland intended to do.

He didn't HAVE to, but he felt bad.

The three had no idea what he was saying, however, and truth be told they didn't need to understand.

"Everyone get along now. You'll be spending some time together Say hi.."

"...Hey." Rhys was the first to make an attempt at conversation.

"I hate pretty boys." Fred turned his nose up that kid. "Go get bent over a fence by an orc."

The young man was not amused. "Alright well f.u.c.k you too then." Rhys narrowed his eyes. Roland smacked the side of his head. "What the h.e.l.l was that for?" He glared.

"Be nice."

"He told me to go get f.u.c.ked by an orc!"

"He's a head. He can't even scratch his own d.a.m.n nose. You expected him to be nice?"

"Why's he seem civil with you, then? YOU made him like that."

Roland shrugged. "Yeah but I'm working on getting him a new body. Also he's scared of me."

"Yup." Fred agreed. "But you're annoying so you can f.u.c.k off. d.a.m.n pretty boys. I wanna hack you all to death!" A faint touch of the man's previous personality shone through.

"Keep talking c.r.a.p, old man, and I'm gonna pickle you." Rhys threatened.

"I'll bite your c.o.c.k off," Fred replied evenly.

Roland saw the boy's nostrils flare. "What an unpleasant fellow. I don't like him."

"LIkewise, a.s.shat."

They seemed to hit it off great.

"Right. Okay. Not weird at all." Lilith was silently freaking out inside but kept her composure. "Can we...go? I can't handle any more today. This whole thing feels unreal."

Roland saw the way she held her arms and felt she was starting to feel the strain. She's gone through a pretty rough time. Really they all have even if they can't remember it. But her especially. Being hunted by a bunch of Immortals, seeing Roland bloodily tear them apart, then seeing one of her would-be killers return in the form of Fred the Head...Lilith was justified in wanting a rest.

"I saw that there's a pretty nice looking bath here. Go for a soak. Relax. Then go ahead and get some rest."

"Reina…"

The unconscious girl was on the couch and showed no sign of waking. "I'm done with her, you can find a room for yourselves." Roland waved a hand and the girl rose into the air and started hovering near Lilith.

"When you want to lay her down place your hands under her and she'll fall slowly."

"She won't...uh, ram into anything?"

Roland felt as she'd just insulted him. He stared her down.

"Right then." She quickly realized that was a stupid question for someone of his skills and made her leave before he turned her into a head too.

Roland watched her retreating form with appreciation. The girl really did cut a fine figure, he had to admit.

He then turned his attention to the boys. He tossed Fred over to James. The boy fumbled and almost dropped him, leading to him being cursed out.

"You guys keep him company. I'm retiring tonight, do whatever you want." Roland reached atop his head and took the lazing cat into his arms. "Later." He yawned.

***

"Since I don't know where you've been, let's give you a wash too."

Roland stripped down, turned on the shower and started lathering the animal up with some body wash.

"Raawwrrrr~" It growled at him in discontent, it's tail stiffening. It seemed to say, "Unhand me, hooman!" It raised it's claws to swipe at his face too.

Roland wasn't scared at all. He merely flicked it's nose, making it blink, and then gently rubbed behind it's ears.

He knew that cats didn't hate water, it's just that the loud noise from the shower heads were harsh on their sensitive ears and caused them to get scared. Sadly there wasn't a bath in the room so he had little choice.

"Hush now, it's alright." He cooed while holding it firmly in his arms.

Cats also got scared when they were held without any support under them. So making sure you carried them properly during showers was key. Speaking to them gently while keeping them close made them feel safer. Even if it's a new cat who doesn't know you, you have to be brave. If you fear a few scratches they'll sense that and stay uneasy too.

With animals, it's all about leaps of faith. Staying calm and confident.

Of course, they couldn't hurt Roland even if they wanted so he could handle them any way he wished.

Soon enough the sable-haired animal grew peaceful and began to let out soft, satisfied purrs under Roland's expert hand ma.s.sage.

"Atta girl," He grinned. He worked the concoction into it's fur all over. From it's head to it's tail and everywhere in between. "Now for a rinse."

It sneezed just then. Several bubbles began floating around.

A short few minutes later and the cat smelled like honey. And after Roland conjured a warm stream of air to dry her off she even felt as soft as silk.

"Nice." He nodded, pleased. "But what should we call you, huh? Maybe… Missy? You could be a Missy. Not sure if you've ever seen Doctor Who, but trust me, it's a good name. Like it?"

She just peered at him expressionlessly.

"I take that as a yes. Right then. Time for bed."

He switched off the light, placed her on his chest, and he dozed off to her rhythmic purring.

***

The next day Roland woke to the sensation of something rough rubbing against his cheek. Something infinitely close to that of sandpaper. He was intimately familiar with the feeling and quickly identified it as the cat's tongue.

"Thanks for the wake up call." He stretched, still feeling tired. He stayed in bed and began idly rubbing under it's chin, eliciting more purrs before she settled down with her head beside his throat.

Her body twisted and turned, her stomach pointed towards the ceiling. A sign of comfort and trust. Or maybe a plead for a good belly rub. Which Roland had no qualms with supplying.

In response her right leg twitched happily.

After around ten minutes of petting Roland finally got up and started b.u.t.toning a new s.h.i.+rt. He found the animal leisurely staring up at him from the pillow.

Somehow there was something very human in her eyes just then but he had no clue what it might be thinking.

"Time for cla.s.s. You coming with? You can be my TA." He laughed.

"You want me to be a glorified servant? You're funny."

Roland spun around. "What the h.e.l.l…?" He muttured. He was almost sure he hear talking just now? But after a quick scan he was certain no one else was here.

His eyes focused on the big ball of fuzz draped over the bed. "Meow?" It asked, it's head tilted up at him curiously with eyes that were entirely pure and innocent.

Roland gave it a scowl. "Haha...yeah, not likely." He shook his head. "Must be going senile in my old age."

He let it go without a thought. He knew it was getting close to his "death" and usually around that time a few past memories would pop up from time to time. A face here, a piece of dialogue there.

Ghosts haunting him, so to speak.

He a.s.sumed that's what the voice was and didn't bother thinking of it any further.

After all, it might be a bit smarter than your average bear but a cat is still a cat. And cats don't usually talk, now do they? And the ones who do are pretty chatty.

He dressed quickly and went to wake the others. He sensed LIlith and Reina in the room just a few doors down his own and felt the boys already groggily awakening on their own.

That left Fred. He walked downstairs and found him with his tongue outstretched trying desperately to get a taste of the rich, chocolate goodness spurting from the fountain atop the kitchen counter.

"Those two c.o.c.ksucking pretty boys played catch with me." Fred informed hatefully as soon as he saw Roland walking in.

"You shouldn't have been talking s.h.i.+t to people with more arms and legs than you, then." Roland responded cheekily.

"I don't have ANY arms or legs!"

"Exactly. You reap what you sow."

"What happened to the sympathy from last night?"

"A person, even one-sixth a person like you, only gets so many free pa.s.ses to be a c.u.n.t. After that any random d.i.c.k can f.u.c.k you and if you don't like it, well, that's a "you" problem."

"...Fair enough." The talking head begrudgingly admited. "But it still wasn't nice."

"Neither were you. Stop antagonizing them for no reason and they'll be civil too. I find they're pretty agreeable kids from the little time I've known them."

"I can't even jack off anymore." He reminded.

"...Be as much of a c.u.n.t as you want." Roland patted his head comfortingly, a parent shamelessly consoling his child after beating his a.s.s black and blue.

He then set about cooking up some breakfast. What was the menu? Chicken and waffles. Always a great choice. He thought of something and decided to also make a couple of omelets, bacon, and toast.

The smell of cooking food eventually summoned the growing teens from their rooms. Reina popped her head in with a sniff of the nose.

"And he can cook!" She shook her head in wonder, whispering softly to herself.

"What's that?" Roland turned his head towards her. He'd heard the words, of course, but didn't quite understand the context behind them.

"What? Nothing. Why?" She coughed. "I'm starving." The girl trailed off ambiguously, staring at the food with longing.

"Eat up." The girl's body was in a state of rebirth. The newfound energy would still even now be working to empower her but it would be taxing.

She'd feel a much greater appet.i.te than usual due to it. Although she didn't need nutrition from food she'd still crave something to fill herself.

It was because her body would remember the feeling of Roland's energy swelling within her and want more of it. His was a fairly addicting aura, one of the reasons why he didn't like people getting ahold of his blood. It's not like his blood or energy was a sort of drug, though. It's just that the feeling of such raw power was, in itself, a great temptation.

For others who weren't at the level of a higher G.o.d they would explode after how much power he poured into the girl. Only a little bit would be enough for them. She's different in that her body can handle any amount of energy so, fortunately, that wouldn't happen. She'd still seek more of the same feeling she felt back then, however.

For a while Reina would probably be constantly searching for another dose. But she herself wouldn't know what she'd be looking for and would therefore manifest this desire as hunger.

"So good!" She exclaimed with a face full of waffle. You could see a bit of syrup trail down the side of her mouth as she stuffed herself.

Roland took a handkerchief from his breast pocket and generously wiped her without a second thought.

This simple action, sadly, made the young woman nearly choke to death with furiously blus.h.i.+ng cheeks.

Roland hastily pa.s.sed her a cup of milk.

"I just cleaned you a bit, isn't that reaction a bit much?" He asked in concern. "Aren't you a bit old to get so fl.u.s.tered over something like that? You can't go acting up like that with every guy who gets a little close to you, you know."

The girl was busy guzzling the life-saving drink. She then calmly sat it down on the table and let out a shaky breath before glaring at Roland with spite.

"Most guys don't make me feel the same way you do, okay?!"

Roland grew intrigued. "Oh? And how do I make you feel?" This was interesting. Was there some sort of reaction going on when he got close to her?
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Her cheeks once more gained a red hue. "I...you...that's….don't just ask something so embarra.s.sing!" She hid her face cutely.

Roland eyed her suspiciously. "...If you tell me it's just teenage hormones, I'll be profoundly disappointed." He said.

"...."

"Well, it's not something to be ashamed about." Roland smiled patiently. "Attraction is natural."

"Oh G.o.ds…"

"Don't worry about it so much." He laughed. "LIking a person's looks isn't a bad thing. You think I don't have thoughts about you or your sister myself?" He raised a brow.

"Thoughts? L-Like what?" She asked timidly.

"I mean I AM a man, after all. I'm not much older than you either. It's not like I'd readily just go and have s.e.x with girls as young as you, but still. You're both very beautiful and full-figured young women for your age. I can't lie and say I HAVEN'T thought about bedding one of you. Or both, preferably at the same time."

"What?!" Her mouth fell open.

"Yeah." He nodded frankly. "So? As I said, those kind of things are natural. Just part of life. I'm sure I'm not the first guy to have those kind of thoughts about you and I'm certain I won't be the last." Roland spoke easily. "For that matter, I'm also sure you'll have those sort of thoughts about a guy too someday. If you haven't already."

"I haven't!" She yelled.

"Huh. Guess I'll be your first then. I'm honored." A wicked grin.

"You're...horrible." The girl finally choked out after a solid ten seconds of speechlessness.

"And yet you're attracted to this sort of horrible person." He teased. "It's adorable."

"I'll never forget this humiliation!" She promised fiercely with ears red as apples and just the cutest expression imaginable.

"Which means I'll forever stay in your heart. How sweet. Ah, what a sinful man I am." Roland sighed lamentably.

"I'm going to gag." Fred deadpanned.

"Too much?"

"Like a s.h.i.+tty adult romance novel geared towards lonely widows. Just cancerous."

"I found it pretty entertaining myself. I mean look at her." Roland pointed. "It's impossible not to tease her."

"Whatever. Seduce underage girls however much you want, just leave me out of it." Fred sniffed.

"Are they underage to you?"

"Where I come from you aren't legal till you're 25. These chicks don't even look 18. d.a.m.n cradle robber." The disgust was real.

"You and Loki would absolutely hate each other." Roland stated. "At least I stop at teasing."

"What's going on?" Came a new voice. Rhys. Followed by his brother and Lilith, who both took in Reina's steaming ears and swirling eyes with worried faces.

Apparently she'd reached the end of her tolerance.

Roland nonchalantly sipped his milk and said, "Nothing."

Missy casually licked her paw and gave him the most droll stare he'd ever received in his life.