The Daybreak Volume 1 Chapter 6

The letterbox on top of the desk was overflowing with letters. They were all invitations. I picked them up one by one and memorized the senders' names before sorting them out.

House McLeidpine, House Baksazaar, House Cartraba…… Many prestigious houses had taken an interest in me now that I had stepped out onto the public stage.

I certainly felt something about how many letters there were. Everything was proceeding satisfactorily. It was a smooth start. If the number of opportunities for people to recognize the existence of a hero increased, it would become as a favorable wind that blew across the kingdom.

The unusual fact that someone who ought to be on the receiving end of a warm reception was instead out in the open was the primary factor that put my life at risk.

The ruckus around me would probably settle down as well if I was given a position that let me balance things out.

The state essentially considered magicians of immense power as irreplaceable weapons. It would even place its dignity on the line to protect them.

Well, personally, I still doubted whether I was truly worthy of such protection from the state, but at the very least the general populace was more or less of that opinion.

Frankly, I wasn't happy about the fact that I would be treated as a human weapon, but I would have to accept at least as much now that I had rejected the dangerous-c.u.m-attractive proposal of killing off a double.

Now that I had lost the ability to keep the enemy's attention off of me one way or another, my next goal was to get the kingdom to acknowledge the importance of having a hero.

Ricardo had already gone to reply to the invitations, so all that I had to do was endeavor not to perform poorly when I got there.

My hands stopped moving as I was mechanically sifting through the letters. I picked up a letter written in dainty handwriting that had caught my eye.

"Seraphina Dreagum Solspara."

My lips loosened into a smile before I knew it upon seeing a name that I was familiar with. I opened the envelope with a knife and skimmed the multiple pages that it contained within. I finished reading through it a little while later and, while its contents were rather commonplace and spelled out the details of her day to day life, I was happy because it made me feel how close I was to Miss Seraphina.

I was engulfed in nostalgia whenever I spoke with Miss Seraphina. It made me recall how I had once been able to talk to friends around my age who were always right there with me.

Naturally, my friends had not been daughters of n.o.blemen or heiresses to vast fortunes.

Still, even if the tone they took as they spoke differed, it looked like the specific traits peculiar to girlish disposition didn't change no matter where you went. I felt as though the times I spent with Miss Seraphina, who reminded me of the times I should have been able to spend with my friends, were times of luxury and bliss.

A knock echoed throughout the room as I continued to read Miss Seraphina's letter over and over again. I figured out who it was at the other side of the door based on how clear their knocking sounded.

"Come in."

"Pardon my intrusion."

It was Ricardo who entered the room, just as I'd expected. He took one look at my face and asked about how I was doing.

"Wouldn't it be better if you rested for a little while longer?"

I was still working hard with little rest as of late because I had so much that I needed to learn and yet the workings of my brain weren't great.

My reflection in the mirror hanging in the room showed that I had dark circles under my eyes, and it spoke volumes of the fact that my acc.u.mulated fatigue had not been resolved. I remembered how my health had deteriorated previously and determined that it wasn't wise to continue pus.h.i.+ng myself to work.

"……You're right. I'll rest once I get to a good stopping point. More importantly, though, did something happen?"

Ricardo didn't look satisfied with my response, but evidently decided to state his business first.

"I'd like to discuss who'll be your partner during the upcoming celebrations event."

"Oh, I was thinking of asking Miss Seraphina again. I've just received a letter from her —should I ask her to be my partner in my reply?"

I said, showing him the letter in my hand as I remembered about the event that Ricardo was speaking of.

However, I realized that I had made a mistake when I saw the expression on his face sour ever so slightly.

I saw Ricardo react this way quite often as of late, though I had no idea why. It happened most frequently when I spoke of Miss Seraphina.

I silently reflected on my actions and told myself that I'd be more considerate of this in the future when Ricardo slightly raised an eyebrow and said,

"……Haven't you been asking her to be your partner a little too often as of late? It might arouse needless rumors if you keep showing up with the same partner."

I only understood the fundamental error I had made after he pointed it out. I had forgotten that I currently looked like a young man.

Just as Ricardo pointed out, it was certainly possible that others saw me as a scoundrel who clung too close to Miss Seraphina. Though I didn't think she's so weak-hearted that she could possibly be seduced by the likes of me.

Would it be better if I spoke to her under the pretense of my real gender?

It might be all right to let Miss Seraphina know the truth, depending on the circ.u.mstances. She was someone I could trust.

Perhaps I would tell her when the fuss surrounding me settled down.

"How unfortunate. It'd put me at a lot of ease if Miss Seraphina were my partner… But still……I doubt that people would actually think that there's anything going on between us, would they? She's a n.o.ble and I'm a commoner —it would never be allowed."

"Not quite. House Solspara is a lineage of military personnel famous for their swordplay. There is a meritocratic side to the way they do things. No magician has ever been accepted into the household before, but I believe its more than possible, depending on what the current head thinks."

"How annoying."

Ricardo looked a little troubled by the words that I had inadvertently let slip. It was annoying, but I understood that it was vital for a n.o.ble lady to be cautious of how she was evaluated by those around her. I was the one who was being inconsiderate. I hoped nothing had happened that caused any trouble for Miss Seraphina.

I suppose Ricardo had grown anxious that I hadn't accepted his warning because I had grown silent while I was thinking about Miss Seraphina. He was standing right by my side by the time I noticed.

"……Lord Halka…"

His words, which he had whispered right by my ear while drawing his face close to mine, resounded all the way down to my stomach even though he hadn't spoken loudly at all. I reflexively turned to look at Ricardo. He was essentially looking down at me like he was hovering over me because of the difference in our respective heights.

I felt the pressure of feelings that had not been put into words from his gaze as he watched me from up close.

I could not accurately comprehend what exactly it was that he was feeling. Still, I discerned that it would be dangerous to continue pus.h.i.+ng his b.u.t.tons and, as in an attempt to gloss over the situation, hastily replied,

"I understand what you're trying to say. I'll work on decreasing the number of times I ask her to be my partner in public settings."

I had said that I would do exactly as he advised, but Ricardo still looked discontent nonetheless. However, I, too, had something that I refused to budge on. I continued,

"Please let me continue hanging out with Miss Seraphina as friends. I want to keep enjoying the conversations I have with her. Or, would even that much pose a problem?"

Ricardo did not protest any further now that I had made my stance so clear. Finally, he pulled away and reluctantly said,

"……No, it would not."

Jeez, Ricardo worries way too much. I doubted that Miss Seraphina would come to any sort of disadvantage just for being friends with me.

I asked a servant to get us drinks so we could end this conversation here. Black tea and a good rest were the best recipe for calming down.

And yet, Ricardo still looked like he was ruminating over something as he sat in the chair opposite of mine and drank his tea.

I observed him for a while without saying anything.

Ricardo had a complicated look on his face as he furrowed his brows while staring at the desk that was between us.

It was a hard-earned time of rest, and I was simply staring blankly at Ricardo in front of me with my head completely empty when he looked up and our eyes met.

"Is there something on my face?"

"No, I was simply staring blankly."

It was nothing but a trivial and meaningless action. I was honest with him, since there wasn't any particular reason to hide it.

"Is that so?"

And with just that, our conversation ended, but I still ended up looking at Ricardo one way or another.

He sighed listlessly and combed down his somewhat disheveled hair with one hand. It seemed that Ricardo, who always worried over me, was far more tired than I was.

I had continued pressing forward without stopping ever since I decided to spread my name. I hadn't even arrived at a point where I could see my destination yet; so, even if I knew what I had to do, my heart was driven by impatience and became like an obstacle to me at times.

I felt bad for doing it, but I purposely laughed at the situation at hand to lighten as much of the heavy air that surrounded it as I could.

"I only get uglier when I get tired, but you're still as attractive as ever when you are. I'm jealous."

Ricardo opened his eyes a little wider as if he had been caught by surprise. Then, he told me exactly what he had been thinking after breaking out into a smile.

"How unusual. For you to say something about my appearance."

I realized for the first time today that I had never spoken aloud my evaluation of Ricardo's appearance before, though I had thought about it quite often to myself.

Now that I thought about it, so many shocking things had happened to me when I first met Ricardo that I never quite had the chance to say anything about his looks.

I hadn't said anything about it afterward because it wasn't in my personality to go out of my way to point out something about him that I was sure he already knew.

I then told him something that he had undoubtedly heard from others so many times before that he was probably sick of it.

"I think you're beautiful."

I had said this to his face, but Ricardo didn't look the least bit embarra.s.sed about it, probably because he was already so used to hearing it.

Still, he smiled a smile that looked rather wry and replied with something that I hadn't ever expected.

"I quite dislike my appearance, to be honest."

"Huh?"

I could understand it if someone who was ugly said that they hated looking in the mirror, but why would someone so beautiful that they were the envy of all those around them loathe to do the same?

I couldn't understand it at all. Ricardo saw through the bafflement in my visage and, as if he was trying to gloss over the matter, replied,

"But I'm happy that you think this way, Lord Halka."

"Is there a reason why you dislike your own appearance?"

"……Not in particular, no."

Ricardo looked a little embarra.s.sed when I tried to inquire further. Evidently, he had spoken before really thinking about what he was saying.

If anyone else had said this, I would have thought that they were being rather arrogant in their woes.

But, because I knew that Ricardo was modest and sincere, because I knew how earnest he was, I realized that this was actually something that caused him quite a bit of distress.

Regardless of whether there was any deeper meaning to it and even if, as he claimed, it wasn't really that big of a deal.

I wanted to understand him. I wanted to listen to his heart.

"Please tell me. I want to know."

Ricardo sighed and began telling me in a detached tone with his eyes narrowed as though he was looking into the distant past.

"I was once told that my father disliked me because I look like my late mother. I am told that the reason my mother pa.s.sed away was because she was greatly weakened after giving birth to me, and this led to complications from a mere cold, and even now I do not understand what my father thinks of me. It's not something to get hung up over, as it's something that happens quite often."

"You're still not on good terms with your father even now?"

"As embarra.s.sing it is to admit —no. Though, his att.i.tude toward me does change appropriately when my actions raise the value of our family name, so I suppose he at least doesn't despise me. I'm not even his legal wife's child, so I suppose it's more than enough."

He said it was something that happened often, but I was sure it hurt to be in that position all the same.

Not to mention that his appearance, which his father hated, was looked upon with envy by others. It wasn't difficult to imagine that he was always burdened with the fact that others appraised his appearance differently than he himself did.

And he was feeling so trapped by this. To the point that he had let the words slip out.

I pondered over how he could grow to accept his own appearance. It seemed trivial at first, but it was actually a rather serious problem.

After all, people would inevitably comment on Ricardo's appearance, which he hated, every they met. And he would probably feel the same pain in his heart each and every time they did.

I had no intention of ignoring this issue just because it was someone else's problem. I had long since resolved to care about him now that I had become his master.

"I can change your face for you……if you truly wish for it."

Ricardo grew extremely surprised by my bold proposal and looked back at me with curiosity. It looked like I had piqued his interest.

It was possible for me to both make him look like another person entirely or to warp his features ever so slightly so that he gave off a different impression.

That was what I had done to my own face after all, so there was no way it couldn't be done.

Still, while I had been the one to propose this option, I knew I would be quite discontent should he chose it.

If only he felt as though his beauty was a blessing. That's what I thought.

The cerulean skies and the twinkling stars. People felt something akin to what they felt when seeing nature's beauty when they saw someone beautiful. It was something that was supposed to bring joy, not anguish.

"But I like the way you look now, Ricardo. After all, it's the face that you were born with and lived with. You might not be the person you are today if it wasn't for your appearance."

Ricardo listened to me quietly. I had spoken while hoping that my words would reach his heart, but I didn't feel as though they were quite there yet.

They hadn't been enough to bring him happiness. In that case, I'd continue speaking.

I reached out my right hand so close to his temple that I could almost touch his face and hair.

I filled my next words with emotion and whispered quietly but in a way he wouldn't miss a single thing I said.

"The determination in your eyebrows."

I knew of how his eyebrows, golden just like his hair and well-paired with his white skin, spoke volumes of his resolve.

I moved my hand down a little and touched the corner of his eye with my thumb.

"The intellect in your eyes."

I knew of how his eyes, a blue as vivid as b.u.t.terfly wings, clouded over whenever he was deep in thought.

I let my hand slide over his youthful skin.

"The emotions found in the redness of your cheeks."

I knew of how his cheeks flushed red and betrayed his emotions whenever he was feeling angry, shy, or excited.

It was beginning to gradually flush red even now, for some reason.

I moved my hand further down and rested my fingers on his soft lips.

"And……the desires that you utter with your mouth."

I knew of how his mouth, though he didn't normally say much, was unhesitant to speak his wishes and his prayers when it opened.

"All of these things point to you, and I like them very much."

I, who had changed my own appearance, was asking him not to change his. I had already long since realized how ridiculous I was being.

That was why I wouldn't force him to keep it. Instead, I gave him my affirmation.

What I really wanted to convey wasn't cold logic, but my wish that he would be able to be proud of his appearance in the future one day.

"What do you want to do? I honestly believe that you should put my opinions on the matter second to your troubles, if you're going to compare the two. I will change your appearance for you regardless of what I think if you feel as though it is a hindrance to you."

I didn't mind either way, as long as changing his current appearance didn't mean that Ricardo himself would change too.

Or so I thought, but the words that left my mouth sounded instead like I had prepared an escape route for myself, like I was pus.h.i.+ng my greed onto him.

His took my hand as I peered into him, reverently placed it on his palm like it was something precious, and looked at me with his eyes filled with ecstasy.

"What is there for me to be hesitant about? What you wish for is what I wish for, Lord Halka."

Relief spread throughout my chest when I heard his answer, but my breath still caught when I thought about the weight of the fact that I was distorting his values.

"Then I won't change a thing."

I moved my hand that Ricardo had placed on his own on top of his head and pat him like I was consoling him.

I have to support him. He's my knight, whom I must guide.

While Haruka made her determined resolve——her knight smiled secretly like a mischievous child with his face down so no one could see.