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Chapter 177
T/n: Chronologically, it is a little over a week before Ain travels to the elven village.
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ED: LonelyMatter
Chapter 177 – [Side Story] His New Life
――This is a strange country.
“Please feel free to use it.”
The servant who showed me around said this and then left quickly, looking very casual.
“…Ah, I appreciate it.”
If I had to describe the country of Ishtalika in words, I would say:
Sweetness, generosity, patience…and also strength.
It seemed that although it was a great nation built on solid rock, it was not overly harsh.
However, it seems that this sweetness has also had an effect on me.
“Huh? I, of all people, am expressing my grat.i.tude to a mere servant from Ishtalika?”
If it’s not self-loathing, it’s not alienation.
If I were to express this feeling that naturally leaked out, I guess I could say that I’m a slow learner with great potential? … Surprisingly, I feel like I’ve grown mentally.
Hmm? … No, I’m not a great vessel. Then, I’m a small vessel with great potential. Haha.
“Hah… Before I start thinking nonsense, I’ll put my things down.”
I picked up the few personal belongings I had brought from Heim and carried them over to the white sofa.
This mansion, once the home of a small n.o.ble family, would not be out of place even if it belonged to a large n.o.ble family, in my opinion.
I placed my luggage at my feet and checked out the comfort of the sofa.
Hmm. It’s not only not bad, it feels better than my bed at Heim Castle. I wasn’t without feelings of hate, but I had enough composure to honestly check out the feel of it.
“――I-is this really the same me?”
I did something that would be considered shameful for a member of the royal family: I revealed my true feelings.
And I did it in front of Warren, the Prime Minister of Ishtalika.
That behavior, which seemed to deny my pride, my dignity, and everything I had done so far, made me feel as if I have lost something that made me who I am.
I hate to say it, but I think I was better equipped and more well-rounded than my two older brothers.
The people of Heim have also spoken of me as the next king, and I have lived with the intention of being one.
But how should I describe the current situation?
“After being protected by an enemy nation, I was given a comfortable house to live in, and not only my bed, but also my meals and my safety were guaranteed. … I even relied on Elena’s help while I was on the run.”
Then I noticed a mirror on the wall and walked over to it.
It was a beautiful mirror without a single scratch. When I stood in front of it, the reflection was always of me.
It would be terrible if it reflected someone else, but in my current state of mind, I felt like asking.
“Hey, who are you?”
Tigre, in the mirror, opened his mouth in the same way and stared at me.
Focusing on his expression as his eyes blink repeatedly in the same way, I notice that the furrows between his eyebrows are less p.r.o.nounced than before.
I’ve combed my hair, washed my face, and kept my clothes clean.
But somehow, he still looks different.
“Once again. Third Prince of the Kingdom of Heim… Tigre von Heim commands you. Who are you?”
When I said this, Tigre smiled faintly in the mirror.
He looked at me as if to mock me, but then he looked at me with eyes that seemed to comfort me.
“How dare you… make such a face at me…!”
I almost punch the mirror, but then I come to my senses.
“I see. It was only me who laughed at me and comforted me…”
Oh, I’m getting a headache. I’ll go back to the sofa and drink some water.
There’s no one to taste the poison for me, but I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.
If I’m going to be killed, I’m going to be killed. But even with these feelings, what is this feeling that doesn’t feel right?
“I don’t know. I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know… I don’t know!”
When I spoke to the Crown Prince the other day, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and I felt a sense of relief.
I felt as if I had become free after realizing that I had lost.
But why am I so restless now?
“What has happened to me now? Why can’t I be as bold as before?”
In the past, I would have been able to control my emotions in such a situation.
I don’t think anyone would trust me in my current state, but I was confident about that.
What’s different now? I’ve already admitted defeat in dealing with that Crown Prince!
――So why am I making things more difficult for myself?
“…Ah, I understand.”
As I held my head in my hands, the word ‘failure’ came to my mind.
Then, the word ‘failure’ kept floating around in my head.
I realized that I understood. It was more than just a failure to deal with that crown prince. It was a complex feeling for me.
“Failure―yes, I failed. I really failed.”
Depending on who’s looking, I’m sure I look unstable right now.
I couldn’t help but smile with a dry expression, but this time I’m wrapped in feelings of self-loathing.
“I have failed in my life so far…”
I have focused my efforts on many areas, such as my studies and studying how to be a good king in order to become the next king of Heim.
I have also put a lot of effort into my relations.h.i.+p with Krone, but have I ever achieved anything?
And will I ever be able to achieve anything in these areas in the future?
“No. It’s all over. I’m sure that Ishtalika will definitely kill Anon… and, depending on the situation, my father as well.”
Although it wasn’t clearly stated in words, even I could guess that.
If that’s the case, I can easily predict the outcome after that. The destruction of the Heim royal family.
“The reason I feel different from before is because the person I was before has already died. It seems that my thoughts were correct.”
This was the most logical thing I’ve ever heard.
My head suddenly felt cold, and tears flowed naturally from my eyes.
Then, thinking that I should take a good look at myself, I go back to the mirror.
“It’s a memorial. I don’t need a gravestone, but it’s okay to have feelings of sadness.”
My hands tremble a little.
Really, to shed tears twice in the last few days… it seems I’ve really become a boy.
“Hahaha…! I can’t show this appearance to anyone else…”
… Click.
“Ah, why are you crying? …Or rather, crying while talking to yourself in front of the mirror…maybe it’s because you’re at that age, but doesn’t it make you sad?”
“…U-uwaaaaaaaa!?”
“Hahaha, that was amazing! You just flinched!”
Knock on the door.
I wanted to complain, but in front of this woman who was laughing so hard, my mouth just kept opening and closing.
…Being seen by someone I didn’t want to be seen by throwing off my emotions from earlier somewhere.
“W-what are you doing here…! Y-you should at least knock on the door.”
“It’s uncomfortable to be a freeloader, isn’t it? I know. That’s why I thought I’d ask you for a job.”
“…You’re still being rude to a prince, aren’t you?”
Lili… When I’m in front of this woman, I forget that I’m a prince.
Of course, there was no romantic feeling between us.
It’s like opening a box with a trick in it, and I’m always made to feel that way.
“So what is this job?”
But it’s certainly not in my nature to just be a freeloader.
I wipe my face with a handkerchief and ask Lili in a firm tone.
“It seems that the servants are unusually busy. There is a girl who is an apprentice, and I would like her to train here in this mansion. So, Prince Tigre, please take care of it while you’re at it.”
“…I-I’ll do my best!”
Then, a small woman appeared behind Lili. She was about 145 cm tall. Her face was cute, but she also had a simple side to her that was somehow unrefined.
She was wearing a maid’s uniform that looked tight, but her movements were awkward.
“This girl’s name is Helion, and she’s an orphan. As part of the new policy to help the slums, she’s been sent to be trained as a servant. But there’s still a shortage of staff, you see.”
“I don’t understand. Isn’t it a bit cruel to leave her in the care of someone like me? Even though there are guards at the mansion…”
“She was born in the slums, so she doesn’t know the details of the situation at Heim. I’ll tell you later, but right now, she’s training to be a maid.”
“…..”
“She is thirteen years old. She didn’t have a proper education or enough to eat, so she’s lacking in some areas, but… there’s nothing we can do about that, right?”
When I fell silent, Lili continued to explain.
Is her mouth dry? The speed at which Lili speaks is so fast.
“Is that okay?”
“――Ah, I understand! It can’t be helped!”
“I’m glad you understand. Then I’ll leave it up to you.”
“W-wait! Even if you say you’ll leave it to me, what do you want me to do?”
“Ah… Helion-chan comes to the castle every morning and then comes to this mansion, so I think she’ll bring some kind of a.s.signment, so please do it.”
In other words, I’m just supposed to be a person from the mansion where the training takes place?
The explanation was too vague… I’ll ask another person later.
At the end, she said ‘Goodbye’ in a light tone and left.
“Hah… As usual, she’s a woman I don’t understand at all.”
As I muttered this, I looked at Helion, who was still confused and wondering what to do.
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