They're Celebrating Qingming Festival Next To My Grave Chapter 3

Author: Larza

Translator: Renkun27

Proofreader: KainGuru

It had been three years since I met that boy.

When we first met, I used to think that, at least, there was something more exciting than living my life everyday aimlessly, but I did not expect that it would bring many changes in my life. At least, having a goal to live for each day was satisfactory.

But when I saw that this futile hope of mine came true, I began expecting more.

I expected the boy to see me. I expected the boy to hear my voice.

…or anything that could make him acknowledge my existence would be fine…

In my life, I had experienced many disappointments. My first disappointment was when I opened my eyes in this world for the first time and found that I was different from others.

My subsequent disappointment was when my parents had met an accident and left me to live alone.

So, I was somewhat afraid that I would encounter disappointment again. Even though I had encountered it more than any other person, that did not make me feel used to it. Moreover, the disappointment of that memory still often came back, so stressing that I was afraid to start doing or saying anything.

Therefore, if possible, I would not let myself embrace any expectations.

But I feared that I had once again expected for this boy to acknowledge my existence.

I did not want to admit that I had other feelings for that boy for two important reasons.

First of all, I had never liked, nor had I ever been interested in, any men before. So, if I consider admitting that I like men, I could not refrain from arguing that I was just happy because I had someone who was good to me, rather than to admitting that I like him.

And the second reason was the most important reason…

Which was, I did not want to go to jail…!

Okay, I could still remember that the boy was 25 years younger than me. From the day that I had died until now, it had been 15 years already. With this large age gap, there was no way for us becoming lovers. Looking at it clearly, this was a father and son relations.h.i.+p.

Even though I still looked like a 25-year-old and did not age since I became a soul, it was still against moral standards.

Even though I was a ghost, there should not be a police officer who would come and arrest me.

I sighed deeply and placed both of my hands on my temples to focus my thoughts.

Come to think of it, the boy could not see me even for a bit, so even if I continue liking him, it would end up becoming an unrequited love anyway.

Moreover, I wanted to see the boy grow up nicely, get married, have the best wife and lovely children, and come visit me with them. If that was possible, then I would be really satisfied.

As for the matter wherein he would die, become a soul, and then come to sit and have a chat with me, just forget about it. In the past, I had never met any other souls here, apart from myself.

With that thought, I also felt relieved. I tried to comfort myself that there was no need to feel upset just because this boy was unable to see me.

So that it would not be strange.

If I had to go back to being disappointed again.

When the season of Tomb Sweeping Day came again on the fourth year since our first meeting, the boy came to visit again with a chocolate cake and fried chicken.

At first, I tried convincing myself that he had no way of seeing me and the food that I liked to eat were quite popular; however, something strange happened this year.

…The boy was wearing a hat…

Even in the previous years, he had never worn a hat. However, after the year when I told him to bring an umbrella, he wore a hat when he came back to visit me.

Was it a coincidence…?

Although it looked like it was something normal and was not strange on the outside, I felt that this was too coincidental on the inside. In particular, two coincidences had occurred simultaneously.

The more I looked at the offerings that the boy brought for Tomb Sweeping Day, the more that I tried hard asking him.

“You can see P, right?” I asked as I leaned forward and drew my face near his. However, the boy remained still as if he did not see me and kept his gaze fixed on my grave.

I waited for an answer to come out of his mouth for a while. When I saw that I had no chance of receiving an answer, I became more and more agitated, until I began walking around him, like investigating a prisoner.

All of a sudden, the boy walked through me and spoke to his father. When I saw this, I stopped my footsteps and sighed deeply.

Sigh…

I wonder if he really could not see me.

I walked to sit on top of my grave, fixed my gaze on the boy who was not far away from me, with many thoughts running around in my mind.

If the boy deliberately lied or pretended not to see me, I could not figure out why he would do that when it was useless pretending.

But if that was the case…why did he bring chocolate and meat for me?

Then, was it just a coincidence…?

I thought about it for a long time until I felt pain in my head. In the end, I realized that no matter how much I think about it, it would only lead me to a dead end, so I stopped thinking by default.

It was not until I heard the boy's father calling for him that I raised my head to look at him for that the last time, before we meet again next year.

But when I raised my head up to look at him, I saw that the boy had been staring at me the whole time.

“That…I brought these to pay my respects to you. At first, I didn't know what to bring.” The boy smoothly said then bowed his head down.

“So I tried to ask my Daddy what people usually brought to pay their respects during Tomb Sweeping Day and he said that I could bring what the dead ones like, but I didn't know what P' likes, so I brought what I like instead. I don't know if P' will like it or not, but if there's anything that P' likes, you can tell it to me in my dreams, so that I'll bring it next time."

Oh G.o.d…!

The first thing that I felt was profound happiness because the boy also liked the things that I liked.

But in the next second, my heart immediately crumbled.

It only showed that I…had been overthinking by myself from the very beginning.

“Let's meet again next year, P'." The boy said and waved goodbye to me, before turning his back to run after his father.

I was so engrossed in my own thoughts and countless thoughts rushed into my mind, so that I could no longer sort them out.

Before I knew it, I had already walked in front of the boy, bent my body over…

…then hugged him tightly.

For a second here, I could feel as though the boy stopped short.

Even though it only happened for a few seconds, it felt like it had happened for several minutes.

The fact that this boy suddenly stopped, I could not figure out if it was because he was able to feel or see something, but I really did not want to have any expectations from this futile matter anymore.

Having hope was no different from climbing a cliff. The higher you keep your hopes up, the more pain you would feel when you fall down.

So, if I did not expect anything since the beginning, I would not feel any pain.

After the boy stopped short, I saw him look around before he run through my body to follow his father back into their car.

Although it was only a short hug, I could not actually hold him or feel his warmth, but it was enough to make me feel good for the whole day.

If I was still alive, I would have heard my own heart palpitating.

In the past, I was not sure about this matter, whether I really liked the boy or not. But when this happened, I became more confident about my feelings.

I like him.

But…what could I do?

I am already dead.