Pet Peeve Part 50

"She knew, because I confirmed it," Gwenny said. "The parody is just as obnoxious as you said."

"Thank you, lame brain," the bird said.

"Of course you won't have that protection from the Sorceress once we find a home for it. But we'll clarify that we reserve the right to borrow it back if we need it."

Hannah shook her head. "Who would have thought that the parody would be your salvation."

"Well, I didn't mean to be, barb!"

They all laughed.

They walked on, querying folk about the prospect of adopting the bird, still without success. They came to a big crevice in the ground, wide and deep enough to require a bridge across it. As they crossed, a voice rumbled up. "A fine traveling party you are! Two goblins, a barbarian, and a robot! The heavens gaze down in sheer awe of the occasion."

"The cleft is talking," Hannah said.

"You call that a gap? I've seen a better crack on a p.o.o.p pot!"

Roland's head whirred. "I have located it on my database map. This is an offshoot of the great Gap Chasm, known as the Sar Chasm."

They completed their crossing, and the sarcastic gap went silent. Beyond it was a camping site. "I think we have had more than enough of a day," Hannah said. "Let's stop here."

The others were glad to agree. It was early yet, but the business with Morgan had taken a toll.

There was a cloud of smoke. "How are you folk happening?"

"What?" Goody asked.

"Working, dealing, endeavoring, functioning, performing, proceeding-"

"Doing?"

"Whatever," the smoke agreed crossly.

"Well enough, considering, Metria."

"Considering what?"

"We had a run-in with the Sorceress Morgan le Fay."

"Stay clear of her."

"We intend to."

The demoness coalesced into her dusky s.e.xy form. "Anything else?"

Gwenny nodded. "I think it is time to implement the test I spoke of before. Is Dara available?"

A second swirl of smoke appeared. "Present."

"What are you talking about?" Hannah asked.

"I need to make a decision," Gwenny said. "The business with Morgan reminds me that life is chancy, so I don't want to wait longer."

"Wait for what?" Goody asked, perplexed.

"For you to choose."

"Choose what?"

"That is the test. I need to know how you handle temptation."

"I don't understand."

"It is best that you don't." She took him by the shoulders and turned him around. "Give the parody to Roland and face this way until we tell you to turn around."

The bird flew to the robot. "Hi, nut screw," it said with the robot's voice.

"h.e.l.lo, chicken gizzard." Evidently Roland had learned to cope.

"Turn," Hannah said. "Choose." She sounded sad.

Goody turned to face the other way. There stood three figures in a row. On the left was a breathtakingly lovely gobliness in scanty attire. On the right was Gwenny in her traveling clothes. In the center was Go-Go Gobliness in an ordinary house dress.

Of course the two demonesses were emulating goblins to make it three. He knew that. Gwenny was the one for him. So what was the point of this presentation?

The lovely gobliness beckoned to him, twitching her hips and smiling. Gwenny merely gazed at him. Go-Go started the formless dance-in-place she did.

Only Gwenny was real. But the sight of Go-Go dancing changed everything. It was as though nothing else existed.

He went to her and took her in his arms. "Beloved," he breathed, and kissed her.

She responded, holding him close and returning the kiss. For a timeless time they stood there, in deepest love.

Then she s.h.i.+fted, becoming Dara. "I'm so sorry," she said, and faded out.

The lovely one was gone too. Only Gwenny was left.

What could he say? He stood there, waiting for her to speak, dreading it. He knew he should have chosen her.

"You chose a dead woman over me," Gwenny said.

There was no denying it. "I did," he said, dejected. How could he explain it? No one else had known and loved Go-Go as he had.

"You didn't go for beauty."

"I guess I'm not much for beauty," he agreed.

"The expedient thing would have been to choose the one who could do you the most good."

"I'm not much for expedience."

"Or to have chosen the chief, for power."

"I'm not much for power."

"At least you could have used common sense. You knew the other two were mere images, not real people."

"I did. I guess I'm not much for common sense either."

"Why did you do it?" she flared.

"I love her."

"I thought you loved me me."

"I do. But Go-Go was my wife."

"I'm a decade younger and prettier than she was."

"Yes. But that doesn't matter. No woman can ever come before her." There, it was said, cost him what it would. It was the underlying truth.

She nodded. "And when I am your wife, no other living woman will ever come before me." She reached out and took his gray rose, setting its stem in her hair.

"Yes, of course." Then he hesitated, startled. "What?"

"I believe you just accepted. So did your rose."

"But-"

"I am Chiefess of Goblin Mountain. It's all about power. Every goblin wants it, and many are unscrupulous about gaining access to it. The chief consort is an avenue. There are women there who are a decade younger than I, some so lovely you have to look at them through smoked gla.s.s to protect your eyes. They will do anything to gain influence." She turned a dark gaze on him. "Anything. My father was corrupted. Most goblin chiefs are. How much easier to corrupt a consort."

Goody was appalled. "I would never-"

"I know. Not for beauty, not for power, not for common sense. Your commitment is absolute. You were never interested in me for my position."

"Never!" he agreed. "Yet-"

"I was lame and half blind and friendless as a child. Jenny Elf and the centaurs changed that. They gave me real life, and helped make me what I am. But I remember. I need the security of absolute loyalty. I won't find it in any male goblin I know, and maybe not in any other male of power in other species. But you I know I can trust."

"Yes, of course. But-"

"And you are of chiefly lineage. And you are decent. And not without imagination and courage."

"But-"

"What do I have to do to stop you from arguing?"

She stepped into him and kissed him. "And I love you."

"That was it," he said as the little hearts...o...b..ting his head slowly faded. He gazed at her, seeing the Rose of Grief nestled comfortably in her hair. She had taken it, and it had not stabbed her. She was definitely the one.

"It will be a big awful wedding, but we'll suffer through it. Then we'll see about settling in. But I think we'll arrange to be alone at times, or with special company, as we have been on this excursion."

"Yes!"

"Tomorrow we'll place the peeve. Tonight we'll be alone together."

"Yes," he agreed, his head spinning.

"One other thing," she said as she led him into the shelter. Hannah was staying outside with Roland, who was keeping the parody for now. "I believe I can dance, Go-Go's way. If you ever want me to."

"Please, no offense, but I'm not sure."

"It will be your choice. I simply want to please you."

"But why? Why cater to me? You don't have to marry anyone, and I'm really not much. We both know that."

"Because I like your company. I confess to being surprised when Che told me there might be something worth my while. I didn't expect much, but I trust his judgment. Our friends.h.i.+p goes way back; he's like a brother to me. Then when it turned out that you were of chiefly lineage I realized how serious Che and Cynthia were. I already liked you; we had been having fun together. It was a long time since I'd had innocent fun. That revelation gave me leave to love you. Yet I didn't want to make a mistake. My mother G.o.diva was a lovely and capable woman, but my father was seduced away from her. I didn't want to be similarly victimized."

"I understand."

"You surely do. I regret having to put you to the test."

"I thought I had failed it."

"There wasn't much chance of that, actually."

He looked at her, startled. "There wasn't?"

"I was already pretty sure of your qualities. If you had chosen me, I would have known you were ready. I doubted you would choose the beckoning beauty. So it was mainly a confirmation."

"But I chose Go-Go."

"Who can never be a threat to me."

"Yet if somehow she could return to life-"

"Just remember this: if that ever seems to happen, chances are that it's a gobliness imitating her, or a demoness. You love her yet, but you're not a fool."

He nodded. "I appreciate your insight."

"Now let's confine ourselves to us us." She clasped him. It was the beginning of a long and wonderful night.

In the morning Hannah had a question for Gwenny. "You said today we would place the peeve. What do you have in mind?"

"Something I thought of a few days ago. Now's the time."

"A few days ago! Why didn't you say something?"