Dead End Dating - Dead And Dateless Part 6

"Can I at least get a blanket or something?"

"Mandy?" He called Mandy over. "Lil wants a blanket."

"We don't keep blankets on hand, but I've got these." She held up the sheets. When I nodded, she added, "I could get a few more and we could double them up to make it a little softer." When I nodded, she smiled and turned toward the utility shelf.

"Give me just a sec."

"I can't believe I'm doing this," I told Jack as I spread out the half dozen sheets Mandy handed me before climbing onto the stainless steel table.

"It's really not that bad. And I'll be right next to you."

"No, you won't," Mandy told him as she came up behind him. "They put a suicide in your usual spot." She slid her hand up his arm. "But I cleared out a new spot for you right near the autopsy room. And"-she smiled-"I even brought you your favorite pillow from home." She handed him the white wedge of fluff.

"Aw, thanks, babe. That's so sweet."

Like I know the whole exchange sounds sort of creepy what with the whole morgue setting and all, but I felt a warmth in my chest anyway.

Not that I was in any way condoning my brother's relations.h.i.+p with a human. He should have fallen for a born vampire who could give him baby vamps and, more important, give my parents some grandchildren to take the heat off of mot.

But, hey, I'm a matchmaker. Love is what I do.

"Here are a few more sheets to cover with," Mandy said. "Don't worry. You'll be safe here. The only time the drawers are opened is when a body's being transferred or taken to autopsy, and it's part of my job to sign everyone in and out."

"So you're the drawer opener?"

She smiled. "Among other things. I dictate who gets put where and when. I also a.s.sist in the autopsy room as part of my residency. That's how I met your brother. He was a car crash DOA. We bagged and tagged him and put him in that top drawer right over there. That was early in the morning when I'd just arrived. Later that day, I was doing my evening check when I heard the drawer open. I looked up and there he was. It was love at first sight."

"That's after she pa.s.sed out from shock," Jack said.

"Jack revived me and explained the situation."

"And you were cool with it?"

"Of course. I've always suspected that vampires exist. I've even fantasized about them. Jack's my fantasy come true."

"That's so sweet, babe.""You're sweet." She snuggled his arm and inhaled. "Literally. He's so yummy. I could smell him forever and never get tired of it."

"You can smell him?"

"I couldn't at first, but after we..." Her words faded away, but her thoughts didn't and I found myself glancing at the clock again, eager to focus on something other than the vivid image of Mandy and my brother and- "Would you look at the time?" I blurted. I s.n.a.t.c.hed the pillow from Jack's hands and stretched out on my back. "You don't mind, do you?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Love hurts, bro. Love hurts." I wedged the pillow up under my head and tried to ignore the cold feel of the tray seeping through the sheets.

"Pretty comfy, huh?" Jack asked.

"You're deranged."

"Just close your eyes and sleep."

"I'll close my eyes," I said as he started to slide the drawer in. "But I can't imagine I'll get any sleep."

"You're a vampire. Trust me, you'll sleep."

"Says you," I replied just as the drawer slid completely shut. Metal clicked. Blackness settled around me. My heart chugged like a freight train racing for the next stop.

Ka-thunk, ka-thunk, ka-thunk . . .

Sleep? Yeah, right.

I was in the morgue, for Damien's sake. On the run for a murder I didn't commit. I had no money of my own. On top of that, the d.a.m.ned tray was as hard as a rock. And cold.

I s.h.i.+fted for a more comfortable position and forced myself to take a mental detour away from the misery of my predicament.

Instead I headed for my triple M fantasy-Mexican beach, megalicious bounty hunter, and mango margarita.

Now that was more like it. I had sand. I had rays. I had a really killer Italian leather bikini.

Ty loomed over me, blotting out the warm sun as his hands trailed over my body. Leather fell away and the bikini landed in a heap next to me. He reached for the frosty gla.s.s and the mango concoction dribbled onto my bare stomach. The sticky juice slid over my heated flesh.

He smiled again and then he leaned down. His tongue flicked my... Zzzzzzzzzz!

Chapter Seven.

"The decedent is a twenty-six-year-old white female transient found in an alley near Fifty-second Street by other transients.

Previous Top NextApparent cause of death was strangulation."

The voice slid under the cover of sleep and wiggled its way down next to me. Ugh. My neighbor was watching another CSI rerun.

Now I like CSI as much as the next person. Sort of. I mean, my receptionist, Evie, is somewhat of a junkie and I have to admit that I don't totally understand that. But overall, I think it's all right. In a morbid, depressing sort of way. I mean, geez, a dead body here, a dead body there. It's enough to make the average person rethink the whole people-are-basically-good-if-you-can- get-past-all-the-c.r.a.p concept.

I desperately needed to drag my a.s.s out of bed and knock on the wall. But exhaustion still tugged at my arms and legs and the only thing I really wanted to do was stay right where I was, my feet nice and toasty under the sheets.

"There don't appear to be any ligature marks on the victim's throat."

Duh. She didn't die of strangulation, buddy. If it were that easy, the ratings wouldn't be so high.

"Vessels around the mouth and nose appear intact."

Another big surprise. The nails, guy. Check under the nails.

"There are no apparent signs of bruising on the extremities. Nails are well manicured and appear intact."

Atta boy.

"Are you sure this victim was ruled a strangulation?"

"That's what the file says, doc. Said the body had all the cla.s.sic signs."

"To a rookie, maybe. If this woman was strangled, I'm Britney Spears. There's something else going on here."

Uh, yeah.

A camera clicked and the flash cha-chunked. Once. Twice. Loud. Talk about a building a.s.sociation meeting just waiting to happen.

"Let's get ready to open her up and take a look." The doctor traced the Y path of incision with a blunt edge. (I definitely needed to get a life, right? I shouldn't know this stuff.) "Looks good," the man said. "Let's make the first cut." He touched the tip of the scalpel to the victim's breastbone and white-hot pain rushed through the victim, straight to her brain.

Wait a second.

That was my brain.

My eyes snapped open and I found myself staring up into the face of a middle-aged man with gla.s.ses and a receding hairline.

He screamed and I screamed.

Yeah, I know. Not a totally vampy thing to do, but we're talking a scalpel.

Blood oozed from the small cut as I scrambled from the stainless steel table. Metal clanged and instruments scattered.

"Holy s.h.i.+t!" The man holding the camera lost his grip as I hit my feet. The Polaroid sailed to the floor and shattered. "She's alive." Even more, she was naked.

Like, I'm totally proud of my body, but I don't make a habit of walking around au nature!, and so this freaked me out almost as much as getting sliced and diced.

Frantic, my gaze darted around until I saw a stack of folded sheets. In the blink of an eye, I'd wrapped myself in one and was desperately looking for an exit while the pathologist and his a.s.sistant stood there, stunned. Then my brother rushed in, Dr.

Mandy on his heels.

"I'm so sorry," Mandy blurted. "I was on break when they came to get the homeless woman that was brought in yesterday. They misread the files and took you and-I'm just so sorry. OhmiG.o.d," she shrieked. "You're bleeding!"

"It's all right, babe." Jack slid his arm around her. "It wasn't your fault."

"It was. I should have been more careful, but I was really dragging. I needed coffee and they're not supposed to check anyone out unless I'm there."

"It's somebody else's mistake. You did your best."

"You're not mad?"

"Why would I be mad? You didn't do anything. You can't help it if someone else breaks the rules. You're still as conscientious, as dedicated as ever."

"That's so sweet."

"You're sweet."

"No, you're sweet."

"Excuse me?" I hiked the sheet up more securely under my arms. "I hate to interrupt this warm fuzzy moment, but I'm naked and bleeding, and these guys want to chop me into little pieces."

"Oh, they don't chop you up. They just open you up and remove the internal organs."

"Oh. Well, that makes me feel much better. Not!" I stepped toward my brother. "I was on the sharp end of a scalpel while I was asleep and totally vulnerable."

"That's a touchy situation for us," Jack told Mandy. "Lil's upset."

"And mad."

"But not at you," Jack a.s.sured Mandy. "She's just upset in general."

"Your a.s.s. You said I was safe."

"I thought you were." Mandy sniffled. "I'm really sorry."

Her eyes brightened and before I knew it, I heard myself say, "It's okay."

"Really?"

"Really. I'm sure you didn't purposely set me up for an autopsy. That would totally kill your chances at impressing my folks." She smiled. "Exactly."

"She didn't have a pulse," the receding hairline said, his trembling voice drawing everyone's attention. He'd finally zoned back to the situation at hand. "I checked myself and she didn't have a pulse and now she's talking and bleeding and talking."

"This is some weird s.h.i.+t," the camera guy muttered. "Twisted."

"She had no body temperature, either. I checked, that myself, too." The hairline shook his head as if trying to make some sense out of everything. "She was cold. Ice cold."

"You try sleeping in a refrigerator," I said. His eyes widened and he stumbled backward.

"I-I have to call security."

"Lil," my brother said. "Could you do something please?"

Me? What was I supposed to do-oh, yeah.

I took a deep, calming breath, ignored the burning in my chest, and fixed my gaze on receding hairline who was backing his way toward the door.

"Don't move," I said as I stared deep into his fear-filled eyes. He stopped. His expression went from shocked to surprised.

"You're not really here. You're in the lounge taking a nap and all of this"-I motioned around us-"it's all a dream." I smiled and gave him a seductive look. His features eased and a hungry light fired his gaze. "A fantasy. An X-rated fantasy."

The guy had seen me naked.