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I placed the potpourri in containers and lit my scented candles-not because I was trying to create an intimate atmosphere or mood, but because I had discovered years earlier that candles relaxed me and the potpourri simply made the house smell great. A few minutes later I immersed myself in my soothing bathwater and listened to my Sade CD, the one with all her hits, on which she sings about the ups and downs of love gone wrong and loving someone too much: "Is It a Crime," "Sweetest Taboo."
I lay back against the tub, closed my eyes and wondered again if I was-if we were-making the right decision. Well, it was too late now. In another hour and fifteen minutes, according to the clock, he would reenter my life, a man I hadn't set eyes on in nearly five years. A man whom I had given everything I had to give and it still wasn't enough. Brice took, took and took. Sade had been there; she could relate. I could feel her pain through her music. I personally knew what it felt like to be a fool for love.
I finally toweled off, rubbed Tropical Nectar Victoria's Secret lotion all over my body, and sprayed on one of my favorite perfumes, Miracle. It was going to take a miracle to make it through this evening. By the time I heard Christian unpacking grocery bags in the kitchen, I had put the finis.h.i.+ng touches on my hair and makeup. I loved my hair in this short, wavy style. It was low-maintenance. All I had to do was spray on some oil sheen, brush, fluff my fingers through it and go. My makeup consisted of a touch of Fas.h.i.+on Fair red lipstick and a hint of mascara on my already thick eyelashes. Sometimes I wore a little blush or eye shadow.
I took one last look at myself in the full-length mirror mounted on the closet door and smiled at my reflection. I must admit, I looked good. Glowing even. I was lucky after having Lyric; my body bounced right back. I still had perky b.r.e.a.s.t.s and a flat, tight stomach. I looked to the right, then turned to the left. Yeah, I looked good. d.a.m.n good! Eat your eyes out, Brice. Your a.s.s won't touch this again. When I walked into the kitchen, Christian did a double take as he finished putting the food on one of our silver platters.
"Did you get everything, baby?" I put my arms around his waist from behind and squeezed hard.
"Yes, baby, everything on your list. Do you want to double-check?" he asked jokingly, squeezing me back.
"No, no, I believe you. I just want everything to be perfect." I rearranged some items on the platter. There was nothing like a woman's touch.
Satisfied with the arrangement of my platter, I checked on the wine and the cheesecake in the fridge again. Then I wiped off the counter, which was already clean, for the third time. I walked over to the sink to wash a juice gla.s.s that was in there, dried it off and placed it in the cabinet. Christian stood there the entire time, leaning against the counter, watching me move around like I had ants in my pants. Nervous energy.
"Mia, Mia. Baby, come here."
I slowly walked into his open arms and he embraced me with a kiss on the forehead. "Chill, baby. Be still; you're making me dizzy. Relax."
Christian and I both looked at our octagon clock on the wall at the same time. We still had another fifteen minutes or so before they arrived. "Please, Mia, go sit down. There's nothing left to do. Everything is perfect, baby."
I followed Christian's advice and had a seat at the far end of our love seat.
"Mia, your moms said not to pick up Lyric until after 2:00 tomorrow. They're going to morning church service at Bald Rock."
"Okay, baby," I responded, slightly distracted. Mama loved to dress Lyric up like a doll-baby in frilly dresses, take her to church and show off her granddaughter.
By now, Christian was next to me on the love seat.
"Remember, now, if you feel uncomfortable we don't have to go through with this."
"Okay, Boo, I remember." I smiled at him, "We can do this!"
Christian glanced at me out of the corner of his eye as I fiddled with the throw pillow on the sofa.
"Christian, you're here; there's nothing I fear, baby."
Christian and I talked for a few more minutes about our summer vacation plans, and I actually felt the tension easing itself slowly away and found myself relaxing. Christian did that to me; he relaxed me, made me feel secure and comfortable wrapped in his enduring love.
Roughly twelve minutes later, time stood still. The doorbell rang right on time. Brice always was prompt to a fault. My heart skipped a few beats, and I vaguely recall Christian smiling to rea.s.sure me and announcing that they were here.
Somehow I made it to the front door holding on to Christian's back pocket for dear life.
"You ready?"
My mouth was suddenly dry, so I just nodded my head because I was scared.
Christian opened the door to my past and I went back in time to five years earlier. To a time when Brice was my universe, the very air I breathed. He was my reason for waking up each morning. I heard the familiar voice and felt his overwhelming presence before I actually saw his face.
"What's up, partner?" Brice asked as he shook Christian's hand and pulled him into a hearty embrace, the kind good friends shared.
"Nothing, man, come on in. Make yourself at home."
Christian moved to the side and I saw Brice for the first time. Our eyes locked on each other at the same moment. It was a blast from the past. Feelings rushed forward. Memories. Flashes of conversation. Good times. Pa.s.sion, much pa.s.sion. Hands and fists connecting with flesh. Brice smiled that dazzling smile he used to save just for me, and somehow I managed to plaster a fake-a.s.s smile all over my face as well.
I didn't know how to greet him, so I held out my right hand in an effort to shake his hand. Stupid, I know, so stupid. Brice smiled and pulled me into his arms for a warm embrace. He whispered in my ear, "Mia, you look as beautiful as ever. I've missed you."
He held me in his arms in a hug that lasted a bit too long, and I felt chills run up and down my arms. As I inhaled his cologne, I remembered the pa.s.sion we used to share. When Brice slowly released me, I just stood there with that same wack smile still plastered all over my face. Then I remembered something-Breathe. I remembered to breathe. Inhale, exhale, that's right ; breathe, girl.
In all the emotional excitement, I didn't see the young lady patiently standing in our doorway waiting for introductions until she softly cleared her throat.
Brice smiled again, the same smile he had just given me, and his eyes lit up. "Kree, come here, baby. Let me introduce you to some old friends."
Brice gently pulled his young wife by her arm and I was face-to-face with Kree-for the first time. Eye-to-eye. For a brief second I saw fear flash across her face.
I'm sure I must have stood there with my mouth wide-open for a minisecond. Kree looked like me. It was like looking at myself in the mirror, but five years younger. Sure, she had longer hair, much longer, was taller, not as thin as me, had fuller lips, but all in all, Kree could have been my baby sister. Didn't anyone else see this?
Kree must have noticed the resemblance as well because I saw her give me a quick once over, as women do, from my feet to my face, all within a few moments, sizing me up.
As I got my voice back and held out my hand in greeting, I said in my most sincere voice, "Hi, Kree, it's nice to meet you."
"Hi, Mia," was all she said as she gave me a limp, half-a.s.sed handshake without a hint of a smile on her full lips.
"Baby, this is Christian. This man here is like a brother to me," Brice exclaimed, putting his arm around Christian's shoulder and pulling Kree closer. It was like old times again. Well, not exactly. It was the same cast, almost, but a different script.
"Hi, Christian. It's so good to finally meet you face-to-face. I feel like I know you already because I've heard your name so often over the years." She gave Christian a dazzling smile and a huge hug as she pressed up against him.
I stood there and looked on in awe. I was already beginning not to like her. We all kind of stood in the foyer for a few seconds more, not knowing what to say or do after the initial greetings and introductions were over.
Finally Christian broke the awkward silence.
"Kree, Brice, make yourselves at home. Come on in. Have a seat."
I took Christian's hand as he followed behind them into the living room. Brice and Kree seated themselves on the sofa by the wall and Christian and I sat on the love seat. Because of the position of the love seat, I ended up sitting closest to Brice. It was overwhelming, to say the least, being that near to him after all those years. Brice looked great, though. The years had been too good to him. It was obvious that he was still working out. He looked to be in better form now than when we were married.
Dressed casually in linen pants and a matching s.h.i.+rt, he was too fine. Brice's hair was perfectly cut, mustache trimmed. He smelled good enough to eat, and he exuded s.e.x appeal all over the place. It was seeping out of his pores. The years hadn't taken the edge off his arrogance either, because he was boldly checking me out from head to toe.
I watched out the corner of my eye as his eyes caressed me, lingering on my thighs and focusing on my chest. His eyes revealed that they liked what they saw. Brice kept checking me out while his wife sat there like a stone. Like she'd rather be anywhere but here. I could feel her pain.
"You guys have a lovely home. Very cozy and inviting," Brice said, glancing around.
Kree nodded in agreement.
"Thank you," Christian and I responded in unison.
"Yeah, we closed on our house about two years ago. Mia instantly loved it. All the credit goes to her; she did all the decorating herself."
I nodded my head in agreement.
"Does anyone want anything to drink? We have beer, wine . . ." Christian said.
"I'll take some wine, please," Kree stated, very ladylike and proper.
I silently rolled my eyes at Miss Black Barbie.
"Give me a brew, man."
"Mia?" Christian asked, pulling me up out of my evil thoughts.
"I'll have some wine too. Here, let me help you, baby."
"No, no, I'll get it. Relax."
Looking in Christian's direction, Kree asked, "Where is your bathroom?"
"Follow me; I'll show you. Mia, why don't you put on some music?" Christian rose from the sofa.
I looked from him to Brice and back to Christian again. If looks could kill, Christian would have been dead on the spot. As he wandered off to show Kree the bathroom and get our drinks, I was left alone with Brice. He had an amused smirk on his face, realizing my discomfort and heightened anxiety.
I quickly got up to turn on the CD player in the middle of the entertainment center. "Any requests?" I asked without turning around. I could feel his eyes boring into my back and a.s.s.
I thought, You won't be dippin' your spoon in this anymore. Look all you want.
Brice answered, "Let's take it back. You got any Marvin Gaye, Aretha Franklin, any old school?"
"I'll check. I know Christian has just about anything you can name. They're here somewhere. I'll check the rack. He doesn't have his CDs arranged in any special way, so it's hard for me to find anything. Of course, he knows where everything is," I rambled on and on in nervous chatter.
As I stood there searching through the CD rack, I could still feel Brice's eyes on my a.s.s, checking me out. It was making me nervous. I felt exposed.
"Mia, looks like you have put on a little bit of weight, in all the right places."
I turned, rolled my eyes and looked at him with no comment.
Brice laughed. "You look good, girl, but you always did. Christian must be treating you good."
"You're right about that." I kept searching for the CDs.
"Here, let me help you." In no time, Brice got up and was standing right behind me, looking over my shoulder, before I could protest. Brice is a tall man and I'm short and pet.i.te so it was like he was towering over me. I felt slightly intimidated and overwhelmed by his presence. I tried to move away, but he was blocking my path.
"You smell good; what do you have on?" He leaned down to sniff my neck and placed his hands on my bare shoulders. Instantly, goose b.u.mps appeared on my arms and shoulders. Of course, Brice noticed.
Kree returned from the bathroom. She glanced from Brice to me and back to Brice. Kree found her seat back on the sofa and looked our way again, chewing on her nail. I found some old-school CDs and placed them in the player. Brice returned to his seat by his adoring wife. I noticed how attentive he was to her. He pushed a strand of hair out of Kree's face and caressed her left cheek with his thumb. He whispered something in her ear and she laughed in this high-pitched laugh. Brice touched her hand gently and played with her fingers.
It was interesting to watch my ex-husband being intimate with another woman. Yes, his touches to Kree were very intimate. Almost erotic. He touched her in the knowing way that a man touches his woman, a man sure of the effect his caresses have on her. Kree was eating it up. I knew in that instant that she'd do anything for him.
"Kree, how do you like Atlanta?" I asked, trying to play the happy-hostess role.
"It's cool. Yeah, the South is cool, but it doesn't matter where I am as long as I'm with Brice. This could be Alaska for all I care."
"Have you had the opportunity to see much of the city yet? MLK Center, the Apex Museum, Underground, Olympic Centennial Park?"
"Yeah, when we first moved here, Brice was my personal tour guide. We were all over this city." She looked lovingly at Brice. "Now I can get around pretty well."
I gave her another fake-a.s.s smile and resisted the urge to throw up.
Just in the nick of time, Christian reentered with our drinks on a tray. I was going to be sick if Kree said "Brice this" or "Brice that" one more time. I swear, did the woman have her own d.a.m.n ident.i.ty?
I thought to myself that it was going to be a very long evening. I grabbed my drink and gulped it down in a few swallows. By the time Aretha Franklin's "I Never Loved a Man the Way I Love You" came on, I was feeling a light buzz. I could handle this. Yeah, I could even handle Brice's eyes on me, watching my every move. I could do this. Now I was invincible.
We decided to wait a little longer for dinner. No one was very hungry, and we chatted and caught up on one another's lives. About an hour had pa.s.sed. I moved to the floor to relax. That was something I always did when Christian and I were at home. Brice followed suit with the pretense that he needed to stretch his long legs. Now he was right in my face, sipping on his second or third beer.
"Mia, I love your hair."
"Thank you."
"What made you cut it so short?" He reached over and ran his strong, firm hand casually through my hair. "It's you, sa.s.sy. Wouldn't you say so, Christian? Mia always was sa.s.sy."
"Yeah, you could say that, and that's just one of the many reasons why I love her so."
I missed most of what Christian had said, because I couldn't believe Brice had run his fingers through my hair. Who the h.e.l.l did he think he was? "I needed a change, a fresh start. You know, out with the old, in with the new."
Brice nodded and laughed. He looked at me like he was privy to a private joke.
"I prefer for Kree to wear her hair long."
"What does Kree prefer?" I asked, looking in her direction.
Kree was sitting in the same exact spot on the sofa in her crisp but expensive magenta silk dress, sipping her wine like a true black American princess.
"I like what Brice likes; he likes it long. So I keep it that way for him. I love to please my husband."
"Again, what do you like?" I asked with a serious scowl on my face.
"I like it long too. It's more feminine. No offense, Mia, but I could never wear your style; it's too boyish."
"Um-hmm."
"Yeah, Mia, Kree likes to please her man." Brice stared at me in obvious amus.e.m.e.nt.
Christian saw that I was fuming inside. He knew the expression and tried to change the subject: "Kree, Brice tells me you have a performing arts degree."
With this, her face broke out into a glowing smile.
"Yes, I majored in modern dance and theater. I love to dance. In fact, when Brice and I met I was out dancing at a popular club in Germany."
"Cool. That's real cool."
I interrupted. "If you have this great pa.s.sion for dance, why aren't you using your talent and degree, Kree?"