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'I don't want to go off on my own, Ray.'
He hesitated a moment and then, 'Carl and I were talking about it,' he admitted. 'His mother's living in Diera, near the coast ----'
'His mother?' broke in Sara, diverted. 'I didn't think he had a mother.'
'No? Why not?' inquired Ray in some surprise.
'I can't imagine what gave me the idea that he has no parents. Perhaps it's because he's never mentioned them.'
'He has no father. If he had he wouldn't be in possession of Ravenspark, and all the lands that go with it.' Ray looked at her. 'As I was saying, Carl and I talked about you. He said you could go and visit his mother '
'Do you mean to say,' interrupted Sara for the second time, 'that Mr van der Linden actually suggested I go and stay with his mother?' What was Carl's reason? wondered Sara. He must have one, that was for sure.
'I know you don't like him,' said Ray, 'but that's nothing to do with it, really. He himself should have visited his mother who, from what I can gather, hasn't been too bright lately and desires company. She lives alone except for her servants.' He paused as if to ascertain whether or not he had managed to arouse her interest. 'Carl's mother left Ravenspark on the death of her husband,' continued Ray as Sara looked interrogatingly at him, wondering why he had stopped speaking. "She went to live nearer to her brother's widow, but this woman died recently and Mrs van der Linden seems to be depressed. She asked Carl to go and visit her and he promised to do so, but a young woman who was once his ward has written to say she's on her way to Ravenspark, but is calling for short spells at one or two places on the way. Carl was annoyed, as he hadn't been previously warned of the girl's intended visit. But apparently he has no means of putting her off, simply because she hasn't provided him with any addresses. She's merely stated her intention of phoning him the day before she's due to arrive here. I was saying how worried I was about you, and that I felt you needed a rest-----'
'So he suggested I have a holiday with his mother?' broke in Sara incredulously. 'I can't believe it!' Nor could she believe he had ever had a ward, but obviously he had.
'You ought not to be so surprised,' said Ray casually. 'They do things like that here; it's the traditional hospitality. Carl's already been in touch with his mother by telephone and she'll be delighted to have you for a week or so.'
'Irma won't want me to go off and leave her for all that time. Nor do I myself relish the idea of going to a total stranger.' Sara found herself searching for Carl's reason for this amazing offer. They had met three times since her stay with him; neither he nor she had acted in any way differently from the way they had acted towards each other before. Certainly that incident in their lives was to be regarded by them both as of no importance whatsoever. It had faded into insignificance; its cause had been a few gla.s.ses of wine too many-on Sara's part, that was. She felt an overwhelming relief that it had been blotted out from Carl's memory so easily. As for herself, she had too much to do for her sister to be able to dwell on any thing else at all.
Ray was looking at her, obviously expecting her to add to what she had been saying. She told him that she did not need a rest and a change, reminding him that she had not been here for any appreciable length of time.
His eyes were troubled as, looking squarely at her, he asked if she could honestly say that her time had not dragged, that she hadn't said to herself, more than once, that it seemed more like a year and a half than a month and a half since she came out to Njangola Farm. Taken by surprise that he should be so astute, Sara gave herself away by her very inability to find an answer. Ray nodded thoughtfully and said yet again that he was afraid she would decide to leave.
'This is the sole reason for my wanting you to take a break, Sara. Waiting on Irma the way you do, taking over the cooking and the general running of the house -well, it must amount to sheer drudgery after the easy and pleasant job you had before.'
Sara was quite unable to voice a denial; life was without doubt one of drudgery, and it was boring, too, for although she was busy all the time she had certainly to admit that time dragged. However, she decided that she could not leave Irma, and in any case, she told Ray, she had no intention of dumping herself on a stranger for a week.
'You won't be dumping yourself,' returned Ray with :in unexpected flash of humour. 'You do have the most unattractive way of putting things at times!'
'Carl's mother might not like me.'
'You might not like her, but at least you can go and see.'
'You sound as if you're trying to get rid of me,' she just had to say. Her eyes were on his handsome face; her heart quickened. It was one of those rare moments when she allowed herself the luxurv of forgetting that he was her brother-in-law and seeing him as the man she loved. But the twisting of her emotions was excruciating... the pleasure-pain that unrequited love can bring.
'Perhaps it does seem like that to you,' Ray was spying. 'But quite honestly, Sara, I feel you should get away from Irma for a while.'
It was just over a week later, as she drove the runabout into Paulsville, that Sara began seriously to consider Ray's proposition. Yes, it would do her good to get away from Irma-who had been so trying yesterday that Sara had developed the kind of sick headache that by rights should have sent her to bed for an hour or so, but of course there had been no time for such self- pampering as that. It would do her good to get away from Ray, too, thought Sara, as it was so trying, seeing him constantly, feeling that her love was strengthening when all she desired was to discover that it was dying-slowly, perhaps, but very surely. Who, though, would look after Irma? There had been a nurse from Paulsville coming every day prior to Sara's arrival, but Irma confided afterwards that it was her intense dislike of this woman that had been one of the reasons for her sending for Sara. Still, it would only be for one week, mused Sara, her mind on Ray and the way he could look after his wife when he really wanted to. As gentle as any woman, he could tend her, with the same care and compa.s.sion as did Sara herself. He would murmur things she liked to hear, would drop a kiss on her forehead now and then as he straightened the bed covers or punched up the pillows.
Yes, mused Sara as she drove slowly into Paulsville, Ray would be able to cope-with the help of Sadie and the houseboy, of course.
After parking the runabout she went off to the chemists, then to the stationers for a few items Ray wanted, and for notepaper and envelopes for Irma. She had got these and was looking at the paperback books with the intention of buying one or two for her sister, when she was suddenly hailed by Bernard, who had just entered the shop.
'h.e.l.lo, there! Are you buying up the place?'
'Bernard! It's nice to see you!' Sara turned with a ready smile on her lips.
'And it's nice to see you! I was disappointed not to find you at the Club dance on Sat.u.r.day.'
'My sister wasn't very well, so I stayed with her.'
'Ray came, though.' Bernard's voice was as blank as his expression. Either he was being tactful, by not allowing his thoughts to be betrayed, or he was puzzled by the fact that it was not Ray who was looking after his wife.
'Ray's been working very hard,' she told him. 'He really did need the break.'
Bernard nodded slowly.
'It must be very trying, having an invalid in the house all the time. I shall never forget how shocked we all were when that accident happened. The lovely wife of our latest recruit to farming around here, crippled for life! It devastated us all for a week or more.'
Sara said nothing. Irma was more than a cripple; she was totally without the ability to move on her own two legs. If she would agree to try one of the wheelchairs... But as yet she flatly refused to be seen propelling herself about. If she had to be helpless, she said, she would be helpless in private.
Bernard had done all his shopping, which was in reality for his sister, and he asked Sara if she would care to join him for a cup of tea. She agreed, and after Bernard had carried her purchases back to her own vehicle, they entered the Club's grounds and sat at a table under the palms. They were drinking their tea when Carl came along, looking cool and arresting in a white open-necked s.h.i.+rt and a pair of white denim lacks. He stopped by their table to speak to Bernard, saying he would need him to work late on the following Sat.u.r.day. Bernard was delighted and Sara felt that it would not be too long at all before he had saved enough money to buy his own small farm.
'Are you joining us for tea?' invited Bernard. 'We've only just started.' Carl agreed, and beckoned to a pa.s.sing waitress.
'How is your sister?' he inquired after giving his order. 'I haven't been able to get over to Ray's place for the past day or two, but I shall come over tomorrow, and I'll sit with Irma for a while.'
Still concerned about Irma, thought Sara, her mind acutely alive to what Irma had said recently, in between the sobs in one of her bouts of weeping.
'I want to die! And I shall! The opportunity'll come -when you and Ray aren't so alert!' Later, after Sara had managed to soothe her with patience and gentleness and compa.s.sionate murmurings, Irma had looked at her full in the eyes and said, 'It would be better for everyone if I faded out of this life... and out of the way of other people's happiness.' What she meant was that, if she died, then Sara and Ray would be able to get together. Sara had gone away and wept; a terrible weight settled on her mind which had remained with her for the rest of the day.
A movement brought Sara's mind back to the present; the waitress was serving Carl with his pot of tea. He was staring at Sara, reminding her of his question.
'Irma's better today,' she said. 'Yesterday she was unhappy... it was a difficult time for us...' Her voice trailed off, for she had not meant to say anything like that. Carl was bound to read a complaint in her words. But the contempt was not in evidence-in fact, come to think of it, she had not been subjected to it on any of Carl's recent visits.
He was pouring his tea, his expression thoughtful. Bernard spoke, bringing her attention from Carl.
'I've never thought, Sara-but perhaps I could come along some time and spend an hour with Irma?'
Sara's eyes brightened, a circ.u.mstance which did not escape Carl's notice.
'Would you, Bernard? Oh, I'd be most grateful if you came only for an hour once a week!'
He bit his lip, saying he ought to have thought of it a long time ago.
'I'll come tomorrow afternoon, if that's all right with you--- No, if Carl's coming I'll choose another day.
How about Thursday?'
'That'll be fine. She'll be delighted when I tell her.'
'Hardly delighted,' from Carl in that finely-timbred voice of his. 'You must expect, Bernard, to find Irma depressed-very depressed. Obviously she'll look forward to your coming, but it's better if you realise that visitors relieve the monotony, nothing more.'
'Is that so?' Bernard looked pained. 'I hadn't realised she was so very low-and yet it's natural, I suppose,' he added. 'You yourself appear to know a lot' about her,' he said in conclusion, looking at Carl.
'As I've told Miss Morgan, I've seen a case like Irma's before--- ' He stopped then and shrugged his broad shoulders. 'But we won't go into that. Just try to remember, Bernard, that if Irma seems morose you must hear with her. Please don't stop visiting her because of it. Once you start your visits you must keep them up. Irma's condition will be harmed if you begin visiting her and then stop; she'll straightaway a.s.sume she's bored you, that you've had enough of her.'
'I see...' from Bernard thoughtfully. 'I shall remember, Carl.' He glanced at Sara. 'I can spare an hour or so each week,' he a.s.sured her. 'And I'll get my sister to come-on another day, of course.'
'That's kind of you, Bernard. I do thank you.' Sara threw him a grateful smile, aware that Carl was watching her intently, an odd expression on his face.
A short while later Bernard, glancing at his watch, said apologetically that he would have to be getting back to see to the milking of the cows.
'You don't mind?' His glance embraced them both as he rose from his chair.
'No, certainly not,' affably from Carl. 'Give my regards to Richard and Emma.'
'I will. Perhaps Richard'll see you on Sat.u.r.day? He's going to watch the polo match.'
'I shall be playing-all being well.'
'Okay, I'll tell him. So long for now!' Sara watched him disappear along the palm-fringed drive, feeling a trifle awkward at being alone with Carl. He was all suave composure-maddeningly self-possessed. And yet her resentment of his cool nonchalance was far less now than it had been during those weeks prior to her staying at his house. She had disliked him intensely without there being anything really concrete in her dislike. She had felt there would have been more satisfaction if only she could have put her finger on the cause of her dislike. Other than his arrogance, and the indifferent manner he had adopted with her, there was nothing much to which she could take exception. Afterwards, though, she had noticed his contempt, and naturally her dislike of him had increased.
He spoke to her, casually making conversation, and for a few minutes there was a polite interchange going on between them. Sara, watching him teeter back in his chair after he had finished his tea, wondered if he were becoming bored with her company. She picked up her shoulder-bag from the vacant chair beside her and prepared to leave. Then she remembered the bell she wanted to have fixed up for Irma and decided to ask Carl if he knew the address of the man who could take on the job. The amber eyes gleamed with interest, then flickered over Sara's face, down to the graceful curve of her neck and then to the firm youthful curves outlined beneath the crisp white blouse she was wearing.
'Yes, I know his address,' Carl answered, but added immediately, 'However, there's no need for Ray to go to any expense. I have a boy who loves to mess about with such things. He'll fix up something, using a battery.'
Sara thanked him with her eyes before saying, 'It's good of you, Mr van der Linden, to do all this for us. The bell does happen to be important, since there are occasions when I don't hear Irma when she calls.'
'And then she becomes fractious, I suppose.'
'You seem to know a great deal about her,' she said, unconsciously voicing words already spoken by Bernard.
'She interests me. In fact, the three of you up at Njangola interest me,' he added cryptically. Sara looked .it him, saw the narrowed gaze fixed upon her, critical, challenging. She glanced away, focusing her eyes on the lovely scene where brilliant tropical flowers nodded in the breeze. The gardens of the Club were superbly kept, with shady walks and mossy little tracts which, when one was strolling in the dark, would be come upon quite unexpectedly. Perfumes from hidden places would a.s.sail the nostrils; fireflies would glisten and cicadas would send their music into the air. Now, basking in the suns.h.i.+ne, the flowers gave forth exotic beauty in addition to their colour and perfume. A clump of jacaranda trees with their mist-like blossoms hung like a blue veil over the roof of the summer-house, and beneath them ma.s.ses of golden b.u.t.tercups flaunted the light they had stolen from the great incandescent ball above. Closer to-just a yard or two from where she was sitting-a couple of miniature tree-frogs seemed to be playing hide-and-seek among the s.h.i.+ny leaves of a bush honeysuckle, and on a warm stone below, a lizard basked, still as a statue.
'Tell me,' murmured Carl at length, 'what are you thinking about, Miss Morgan?'
'My thoughts are private, Mr van der Linden.' This was out before she could stop it and she frowned to herself. She had not intended to sound so unfriendly, especially after he had just offered to see to the fixing of the bell for her sister.
'Are you usually so reticent, or is it only with me?' Carl spoke casually, as if her last remark had been deliberately treated more kindly than Sara deserved. But his question took her aback for all that. She looked questioningly at him and said, 'I don't quite know what you mean, Mr van der Linden?'
'The dumb blonde act, eh?' His mouth curved sardonically. 'Why do women, when asked a question they don't want to answer, adopt that air of bewilderment and say they don't understand, or they don't know what one is getting at?'
Sara did not know whether to laugh or to flash him a darkling glance. She did neither, maintaining an unmoving countenance as she said quietly, 'You're accusing me of prevarication, obviously?'
'Obviously.' He decided to pour himself another cup of tea and so fell silent for a s.p.a.ce. Then: 'Has Ray mentioned anything about a projected visit to my mother?' he asked, changing the subject with an abruptness that startled her.
'Mr van der Linden,' she said emphasising every word, 'just why should you want me to pay a visit to your mother, whom I've never even met?'
'So Ray did speak to you about it. Then he explained, surely?'
'He said something about your mother not being too well and that she had been expecting you to pay her a visit. I fail to see how I can be any sort of a subst.i.tute,' she ended, watching his sun-bitten face closely and trying to read something from it.
'Ray said you were needing a rest and a change-and I myself agree---- ' He lifted a hand imperiously as she would have interrupted. 'Resent my interference if you like, but if you're sensible you'll give this trip some thought. You'd not be happy in an hotel on your own, and as this business of my own visit has fallen through I made the offer to Ray because he seemed so anxious about you.' Here the voice became devoid of expression; Sara glanced away, deeply conscious of the fact that he was probably thinking about her being in love with Ray. 'It seemed a most convenient way of making several people happy,' he resumed presently.
Sara, still puzzled, put forward the very reasonable question, 'Supposing your mother doesn't like me? To be quite frank, if it were me, I'd not be at all easy about having a strange young woman thrust upon me.'
'No?' Carl was amused now. 'You don't know my mother! She loves to be with young people; she's happy meeting new people of any age. She's a psychologist, so she'll a.n.a.lyse you. It's a hobby of hers which I've long since given up trying to bully her into dropping. You'll like my mother,' he added, and the glimmer of a smile broke, easing the hardness of his features. 'She isn't anything like her son, if that's what's troubling you.'
'You just had to say that, didn't you?' Sara could not help retorting.
'I was merely endeavouring to put your mind at rest regarding my mother. It's so easy to get the wrong impression of someone by comparing them with a relative. Rest a.s.sured, when you meet my mother you'll have the greatest difficulty in believing she produced a son like me.'
Sara, watching him with suspicion, could scarcely believe that he was actually teasing her! And yet there was no denying the hint of humour still lurking in those amber eyes.
'I must admit,' she said at last, 'that your mother sounds nice.'
'You'll have that holiday with her, then?'
'I'm still very puzzled as to why you should be interested in my welfare------' She stopped, colouring a little, then added rather quickly, 'What I meant was, you scarcely know me, and I wouldn't have thought you would be concerned about----' Again she stopped, embarra.s.sed and unsure of herself.
'Miss Morgan,' said Carl quietly and imperturbably, 'I am not concerned about your welfare, but I am concerned over my mother's disappointment in not having her visitor, which of course was to have been me. If you go you'll be doing me a favour, but I also feel that you'll be doing yourself some good by taking the break.' He paused a while and for some inconceivable reason Sara felt that he was suppressing anger. 'Ray will have to give more time to his wife, which should be good for both of them.' Grimness edged his voice as he ended. Sara suddenly wondered if his real aim was to get her away from Ray... Yes, she felt sure that this was his reason for the suggestion that she should take the holiday with his mother. But why was he so very interested in the situation at Njangola Farm, or the problems of its occupants? He could never in a million years be branded meddlesome-on the contrary, he had an innate aloofness which, at first, had gone far to setting Sara against him. It was too much of a puzzle, decided Sara, admitting that there was nothing to be gained by dwelling on it when it was quite impossible to understand it anyway.
She was intrigued, though, by Carl's description of his mother and by the idea that she would be ready to have a stranger staying as a guest in her home. This, along with the recently formed conviction that the break really would do her good, and the idea of Ray's having to spend more time with his wife, made Sara's decision far less difficult than she had at first supposed. And when Carl asked again if she was prepared to take the holiday she found herself saying yes without any further hesitation at all. Then, womanlike, she asked about the kind of clothes she would need.
'Oh, slacks and s.h.i.+rts-what you wear here,' was his casual reply. 'Mother likes to dine out now and then, though, so you'd better take something feminine as well.'
'Meaning a long dress?'
'Or a long skirt and one of those frilly tops------- ' He Hopped, eyes flickering over her as he shook his head. 'No, you don't want frills! You'd look like a scarecrow on exhibition. You'd look better in----------------------- '
'Thank you very much!' snapped Sara, conscious that two spots of angry colour had come instantly to her cheeks. 'I haven't been likened to a scarecrow before!'
The amber eyes actually laughed.
'No? Well, there's always a first time. You're thin, so why not admit it?'
'It's a darned sight better than being fat!' She glowered at him, at the same time staggered by the way the conversation had turned, the cool politeness having given way to what could only be termed outright rudeness on both their parts. 'Do you always go out of your way to be insulting to my s.e.x?'
'Was I insulting? Maybe you're right. I apologise.' So casual that the apology entirely lost its meaning. 'And now, back to this question of clothes which seems to be of such major importance to you. Take something to wear on the beach and, as I said, slacks and s.h.i.+rts. Good lord, girl, you don't want me to advise you on clothes!' His glance was frowning; he seemed impatient with himself for what he plainly considered a lapse of dignity.
'I'm sorry. I merely asked because I didn't know if I should be called upon to do any work.'
'Work?'
'Tasks-you did say that your mother was not too well, and as I'm a trained nurse...' Sara allowed her voice to fade as he shook his head.
'She's been upset by the death of her relative, naturally, and was off-colour in consequence. But there's no sign of any physical illness-at least,' he added with a sudden knitting of his brows, 'I hope there isn't.'
'When shall I be going?' Sara wanted to know a little while later when, Carl having finished his tea, they were ready to leave the caf6.
'That's up to you, and Ray.'
'Irma doesn't know anything about the idea yet,' Sara told him uneasily. 'If she doesn't care for it I shan't be able to go, of course.'
A strange silence followed before Carl said, 'I don't think you need have any worries on that score, Miss Morgan. Irma will be very happy to see you 'Happy?' Tingles ran along Sara's spine. She was fully convinced that Carl had, by some subtle means, tested out her sister's feeling about Sara's going away from Njangola Farm for a while. 'What reason have you for saying that?'