Don't Scream Part 57

The lower-reservoir jogging path through Central Park is crowded at this hour on a sunny October Sunday, but Isaac pays little attention to the others.

His thoughts are consumed not just by what happened ten years ago, but by all that has transpired in the past few weeks.

Three times, Isaac was tempted to spill the whole story. First to Brynn, then to Kylah, then to Detective Hiles.

All of it including the secret Rachel confessed to him when he called to wish her Happy Birthday just hours before she disappeared.

Three times, he refrained.

But he keeps going over and over it in his head. The memory of that day, Rachels twentieth birthday, is as fresh as the conversation he had this morning with Kylah over an article in the SundayTimes .

Sitting in his new midtown office that day ten years ago, he sang Happy Birthday to Rachel the minute she answered the phone.

The other end of the line was silent when he finished until she suddenly burst into tears.

He figured she was just a little emotional because, as she put it, he was the only person in her life who always remembered her birthday. Even her flaky mother had been known to forget.

So, to lighten the mood, Isaac teased, Wow, I figured my voice might be a little flat, but I didnt realize it was that bad.

She didnt laugh. I have to tell you something, but you cant tell anyone, Isaac.

All right.

No, I mean you have to swear you wont tell. Do you swear to G.o.d?

I swear to G.o.d. He clutched the phone, wondering what it could be only briefly before the likely answer came to him.

He figured she was dropping out of schoolshe had threatened to do that a few times over the years. She wanted to go to Europe and study music, or hang out in the East Village and compose songs, or She had a hundred different plans.

Some even involved him Lets join the Peace Corps together, or Why dont we open a great burger joint somewhere?

None of those plans, however, involved the bombsh.e.l.l she was about to drop.

Is there anything else? Garth asks, looking at his wife.Really looking at her, feeling as though hes seeing her for the first time in years.

Feeling as though hes seeing a total stranger.

Brynns bloodshot eyes are sunken into raw, red craters. Her face is blotchy, her ponytail bedraggled, sweats.h.i.+rt cuffs damp as though she used them to wipe her nose.

Anything else? she echoes. What do you mean?

I mean, is there anything else you need to tell me while were alone in here?

For the first time since he got here, her eyes flash a sign of life. No, she says curtly. Thats everything.

Garth rakes a hand through his hair. How could you not have said anything about this for all these years?

Because it wasnt up to me. I swore that I wouldnt.

Some silly sorority oath? You cant be serious, Brynn. Somebodys life was hanging in the balance. Your friends life.

You dont understand. I didnt think that it was at the time. I thought she was dead. By the time we realized sheor her bodywasnt in the woods anymore, it was too late to say anything. We had already pretended we didnt know anything about it.

So you just decided to go on pretending. Even to me.

She nods, still looking him in the eye, her chin liftedbut quavering slightly. It was all we could do, Garth.

You could have gone to the cops at some point.

At which point? And if I had gone, it would have incriminated my friends, too.

Even if not the cops, then You could have told me, he says through a clenched jaw, shaking his head.

I couldnt tell you.

Because of the oath. I know.

No, not just that. Because I was afraid of how youd react.

With an ache in his gut, he says, You should have told me anyway.

It would have been different, maybe, if you werent right here, in this world. If you were someone I had met in some other place, someone who had never heard of Rachel Lorent. But you knew her, you taught her in cla.s.s, you searched for her. How could I tell you?

How could younot tell me? he returns, shaking his head.

But he knows how. He knows all about shameful secrets; about caustic guilt and consternation that eat away at you, making it difficult to look your spouse in the eye when you think she might somehow read your thoughts; making it impossible to sleep at night.

With her. Without her.

Im sorry, Garth.

Yes. She is. Profound remorse is vividly etched on her face.

I know.

Im sorry too, Brynn. So, so sorry.

Theres a knock on the door.

Whatever happens, Ill stand by you, Garth says hurriedly. I promise, Brynn. I love you.

I love you, too, she chokes out.

Garth bends over and squeezes her fiercely, wis.h.i.+ng he could hold on as tight to life as they knew it.

Because he can feel it slipping away.

Then another knock on the door, and one of the detectives pokes his head in.

Excuse me, folks, but theres someone here who needs to speak to you.

The door opens wider and a tall, bearded African-American man strides past the detective and flashes his badge. Sergeant Quincy Hiles. Im with the Boston P.D.

Im pregnant, Isaac.

Those words have haunted him for ten years.

Even now, they reverberate through his body with every pounding footfall as he moves faster still along the path.

No longer is he jogginghes running now, full speed ahead, sprinting past everyone else on the path trying to escape.

But he never can.

Im pregnant, Isaac.

Rachel choked it out through tears, and, at first, he wasnt even sure he heard her right.

But then she repeated itIm pregnantloudly and clearly.

An unspoken questionhis, of course, the logical one to askhung silently between them for a long moment.

Finally, he found his voice.

What are you going to do, Rach? That, of course, wasnt the question.

But it was a good one.

Her answer was prompt But he could hear the uncertainty in her voice. Have it. Raise it.

Where? How?

I dont know But Im definitely going to have this baby. Even if I have to drop out of school. Which I will have to do, because how else can I do this? And, of course, my parents are going to freak out if Im a single mom without a college degree.

Maybe not.

Yes, they will.

She was right.

They would. For two people who went through marriages faster than they did checkbooks, Rachels parents were surprisingly conservative, and they were very big on academics and education.

Maybe Ill just take off, she said wistfully.

Take off? You cant do that. You mean like, just go?

Yes. I can have the baby somewhere far away on my own Alone?

She didnt reply to that.

Instead, she said, I need you, Isaac. Im scared, and I dont know what to do. Please Can you come up here tomorrow?

Of course he said yes.

Then she said, Hang on a second, and he heard her talking to someone on the other end of the line.

She came back on and said, Um, I have to go. Someone needs to use the phone.

Someone always needed to use the phone in a houseful of sorority girls in the days before cell phones were ubiquitous.

So that was the end of his final conversation with Rachel.

At the time, he figured his big questionthe crucial onecould wait until he could hear the answer in person.

But, of course, she disappeared before he could get up there to ask:Am I the babys father?

For the second time today, the familiar, shameful details spew from Brynns lips, propelled by a decades worth of pent-up angst.

Brynn cant help but feel like a bottle of champagne kept tightly corked for ten years, then violently shaken and abruptly released.

The Boston detective and his partner, a pretty blonde, sit and listen. They nod and occasionally ask questions. Still staunchly beside her, Garth keeps his arm tightly around her shoulders.

But she isnt leaning on him.

Somehow, shes sitting straight and tall. Its almost as if, in purging herself of the guilty burden, shes made room for some long-suppressed inner core of fort.i.tude to expand.

Only when shes told them everything she possibly canright up to and including Fionas furtive plan to leave town for her birthdaydoes she finally sag against Garths arm and the back of the chair, utterly spent.

Quincy Hiles rubs his beard thoughtfully. Is there anything else, Mrs. Saddler?

No, sir. Theres nothing else.

Nothing other than the fact that Im pregnant, and my husband doesnt know. But I think Ive spilled enough secrets for one day.

I have a question.

Brynn looks at Garth in surprise. He avoids her gaze.

Yes, Mr. Saddler?

Did my wife commit a crime ten years ago when she left her friends body in the woods?

No. That unequivocal answer from Hiles catches Brynn off guard.

Are you sure? she asks.

Yes. And you didnt even technically commit a crime if you thought your friend was alive, as long as you didnt push her over the edge.

Isnt there a Good Samaritan law or something?