Wyrd Sisters Part 30

He sidled toward the table and, with great care, pulled the sheaf of paper from under the sleeping dwarf's head, lowering it gently onto a cus.h.i.+on.

The top sheet read:

Verence Felmet Small G.o.d's Eve A Night Of A Night Of Knives Daggers Knives Daggers Kings, by, Hwel of Vitoller's Men. A Kings, by, Hwel of Vitoller's Men. A Comedy Comedy Tragedy in Tragedy in Eight Five Six Three Eight Five Six Three Nine Acts. Nine Acts.Characters: Felmet, A Good King.Verence, A Bad King.Wethewacs, Ane Evil WitchHogg, Ane Likewise Evil WitchMagerat, Ane Sirene...Tomjon flicked over the page.

Scene: A Drawing Room s.h.i.+p at Sea Street in Pseudopolis A Drawing Room s.h.i.+p at Sea Street in Pseudopolis Blasted Moor. Enter Three Witches... Blasted Moor. Enter Three Witches...The boy read for a while and then turned to the last page.Gentles, leave us dance and sing, and wish good health unto the king. (Exeunt all, singing falala, etc. Shower of rose petals. Ringing of bells. G.o.ds descend from heaven, demons rise from h.e.l.l, much ado with turntable, etc.) The End.

Hwel snored.

In his dreams G.o.ds rose and fell, s.h.i.+ps moved with cunning and art across canvas oceans, pictures jumped and ran together and became flickering images; men flew on wires, flew without wires, great s.h.i.+ps of illusion fought against one another in imaginary skies, seas opened, ladies were sawn in half, a thousand special effects men giggled and gibbered. Through it all he ran with his arms open in desperation, knowing that none of this really existed or ever would exist and all he really really had was a few square yards of planking, some canvas and some paint on which to trap the beckoning images that invaded his head. had was a few square yards of planking, some canvas and some paint on which to trap the beckoning images that invaded his head.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

"It's a good play," said Vitoller, "apart from the ghost."

"The ghost stays," said Hwel sullenly.

"But people always jeer and throw things. Anyway, you know how hard it is to get all the chalk dust out of the clothes."

"The ghost stays. It's a dramatic necessity."

"You said said it was a dramatic necessity in the last play." it was a dramatic necessity in the last play."

"Well, it was."

"And in Please Yourself Please Yourself, and in A Wizard of Ankh A Wizard of Ankh, and all the rest of them."

"I like ghosts."

They stood to one side and watched the dwarf artificers a.s.sembling the wave machine. It consisted of half a dozen long spindles, covered in complex canvas spirals painted in shades of blue and green and white, and stretching the complete width of the stage. An arrangement of cogs and endless belts led to a treadmill in the wings. When the spirals were all turning at once people with weak stomachs had to look away.

"Sea battles," breathed Hwel. "s.h.i.+pwrecks. Tritons. Pirates!"

"Squeaky bearings, laddie," groaned Vitoller, s.h.i.+fting his weight on his stick. "Maintenance expenses. Overtime."

"It does look extremely...intricate," Hwel admitted. "Who designed it?"

"A daft old chap in the Street of Cunning Artificers," said Vitoller. "Leonard of Quirm. He's a painter really. He just does this sort of thing for a hobby. I happened to hear that he's been working on this for months. I just snapped it up quick when he couldn't get it to fly."

They watched the mock waves turn.

"You're bent on going?" said Vitoller, at last.

"Yes. Tomjon's still a bit wild. He needs an older head around the place."

"I'll miss you, laddie. I don't mind telling you. You've been like a son to me. How old are you, exactly? I never did know."

"A hundred and two."

Vitoller nodded gloomily. He was sixty, and his arthritis was playing him up.

"You've been like a father to me, then," he said.

"It evens out in the end," said Hwel diffidently. "Half the height, twice the age. You could say that on the overall average we live about the same length of time as humans."

The playmaster sighed. "Well, I don't know what I will do without you and Tomjon around, and that's a fact."

"It's only for the summer, and a lot of the lads are staying. In fact it's mainly the apprentices that are going. You said yourself it'd be good experience."

Vitoller looked wretched and, in the chilly air of the half-finished theater, a good deal smaller than usual, like a balloon two weeks after the party. He prodded some wood shavings distractedly with his stick.

"We grow old, Master Hwel. At least," he corrected himself, "I grow old and you grow older. We have heard the gongs at midnight."

"Aye. You don't want him to go, do you?"

"I was all for it at first. You know. Then I thought, there's destiny afoot. Just when things are going well, there's always b.l.o.o.d.y destiny. I mean, that's where he came from. Somewhere up in the mountains. Now fate is calling him back. I shan't see him again."

"It's only for the summer-"

Vitoller held up a hand. "Don't interrupt. I'd got the right dramatic flow there."

"Sorry."

Flick, flick, went the stick on the wood shavings, knocking them into the air.

"I mean, you know he's not my flesh and blood."

"He's your son, though," said Hwel. "This hereditary business isn't all it's cracked up to be."

"It's fine of you to say that."

"I mean it. Look at me. I wasn't supposed to be writing plays. Dwarfs aren't even supposed to be able to read read. I shouldn't worry too much about destiny, if I was you. I was destined to be a miner. Destiny gets it wrong half the time."

"But you said he looks like the Fool person. I can't see it myself, mark you."

"The light's got to be right."

"Could be some destiny at work there."

Hwel shrugged. Destiny was funny stuff, he knew. You couldn't trust it. Often you couldn't even see it. Just when you knew you had it cornered, it turned out to be something else-coincidence, maybe, or providence. You barred the door against it, and it was standing behind you. Then just when you thought you had it nailed down it walked away with the hammer.

He used destiny a lot. As a tool for his plays it was even better than a ghost. There was nothing like a bit of destiny to get the old plot rolling. But it was a mistake to think you could spot the shape of it. And as for thinking it could be controlled...

Granny Weatherwax squinted irritably into Nanny Ogg's crystal ball. It wasn't a particularly good one, being a greenish gla.s.s fis.h.i.+ng float brought back from forn seaside parts by one of her sons. It distorted everything including, she suspected, the truth.

"He's definitely on his way," she said, at last. "In a cart."

"A fiery white charger would have been favorite," said Nanny Ogg. "You know. Caparisoned, and that."

"Has he got a magic sword?" said Magrat, craning to see.

Granny Weatherwax sat back.

"You're a disgrace, the pair of you," she said. "I don't know-magic chargers, fiery swords. Ogling away like a couple of milkmaids."

"A magic sword is is important," said Magrat. "You've got to have one. We could make him one," she added wistfully. "Out of thunderbolt iron. I've got a spell for that. You take some thunderbolt iron," she said uncertainly, "and then you make a sword out of it." important," said Magrat. "You've got to have one. We could make him one," she added wistfully. "Out of thunderbolt iron. I've got a spell for that. You take some thunderbolt iron," she said uncertainly, "and then you make a sword out of it."

"I can't be having with that old stuff," said Granny. "You can wait days for the d.a.m.n things to hit and then they nearly take your arm off."

"And a strawberry birthmark," said Nanny Ogg, ignoring the interruption.

The other two looked at her expectantly.

"A strawberry birthmark," she repeated. "It's one of those things you've got to have if you're a prince coming to claim your kingdom. That's so's everyone will know. O'course, I don't know how they know it's strawberry strawberry."

"Can't abide strawberries," said Granny vaguely, quizzing the crystal again.

In its cracked green depths, smelling of bygone lobsters, a minute Tomjon kissed his parents, shook hands or hugged the rest of the company, and climbed aboard the leading latty.

It must of worked, she told herself. Else he wouldn't be coming here, would he? All those others must be his trusty band of good companions. After all, common sense, he's got to come five hundred miles across difficult country, anything could happen.

I daresay the armor and swords is in the carts.

She detected a twinge of doubt, and set out to quell it instantly. There isn't any other reason for him to come, stands to reason. We got the spell exactly right. Except for the ingredients. And most of the poetry. And it probably wasn't the right time. And Gytha took most of it home for the cat, which couldn't of been proper.

But he's on his way. What can't speak, can't lie.

"Best put the cloth over it when you've done, Esme," said Nanny. "I always get worried someone'll peer in at me when I'm having my bath."

"He's on his way," said Granny, the satisfaction in her voice so strong you could have ground corn with it. She dropped the black velvet bag over the ball.

"It's a long road," said Nanny. "There's many a slip twixt dress and drawers. There could be bandits."

"We shall watch over him," said Granny.

"That's not right. If he's going to be king he ought to be able to fight his own battles," said Magrat.

"We don't want him to go wasting his strength," said Nanny primly. "We want him good and fresh for when he gets here."

"And then, I hope, we shall leave him to fight his battles in his own way," said Magrat.

Granny clapped her hands together in a businesslike fas.h.i.+on.

"Quite right," she said. "Provided he looks like winning."

They had been meeting at Nanny Ogg's cottage. Magrat made an excuse to tarry after Granny left, around dawn, allegedly to help Nanny with tidying up.

"Whatever happened to not meddling?" she said.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, Nanny."

"It's not proper meddling," said Nanny awkwardly. "Just helping matters along."

"Surely you can't really think that!"

Nanny sat down and fidgeted with a cus.h.i.+on.

"Well, see, all this not meddling business is fine in the normal course of things," she said. "Not meddling is easy when you don't have to. And then I've got the family to think about. Our Jason's been in a couple of fights because of what people have been saying. Our Shawn was thrown out of the army. The way I see it, when we get the new king in, he should owe us a few favors. It's only fair."

"But only last week you were saying-" Magrat stopped, shocked at this display of pragmatism.

"A week is a long time in magic," said Nanny. "Fifteen years, for one thing. Anyway, Esme is determined and I'm in no mood to stop her."

"So what you're saying," said Magrat, icily, "is that this 'not meddling' thing is like taking a vow not to swim. You'll absolutely never break it unless of course you happen to find yourself in the water?"

"Better than drowning," Nanny said.

She reached up to the mantelpiece and took down a clay pipe that was like a small tar pit. She lit it with a spill from the remains of the fire, while Greebo watched her carefully from his cus.h.i.+on.

Magrat idly lifted the hood from the ball and glared at it.

"I think," she said, "that I will never really understand about witchcraft. Just when I think I've got a grip on it, it changes."

"We're all just people." Nanny blew a cloud of blue smoke at the chimney. "Everyone's just people."

"Can I borrow the crystal?" said Magrat suddenly.

"Feel free," said Nanny. She grinned at Magrat's back. "Had a row with your young man?" she said.

"I really don't know what you're talking about."

"Haven't seen him around for weeks."

"Oh, the duke sent him to-" Magrat stopped, and went on-"sent him away for something or other. Not that it bothers me at all, either way."

"So I see. Take the ball, by all means."