Tell Me Your Dreams Part 43

OVER the next few months, Otto Lewison had three psychiatrists examine Ashley. They used hypnotherapy and Sodium Amytal. the next few months, Otto Lewison had three psychiatrists examine Ashley. They used hypnotherapy and Sodium Amytal.

"h.e.l.lo, Ashley. I'm Dr. Montfort, and I need to ask you some questions. How do you feel about yourself?"

"I feel wonderful, Doctor. It's as though I've just gotten over a long illness."

"Do you think you're a bad person?"

"No. I know some bad things have happened, but I don't believe I'm responsible for them."

"Do you hate anyone?"

"No."

"What about your father? Do you hate him?"

"I did. I don't hate him anymore. I don't think he could help what he did. I just hope he's all right now."

"Would you like to see him again?"

"I think it would be better if I didn't. He has his life. I want to start a new life for myself."

"Ashley?"

"Yes."

"I'm Dr. Vaughn. I'd like to have a little chat with you."

"All right."

"Do you remember Toni and Alette?"

"Of course. But they're gone."

"How do you feel about them?"

"In the beginning, I was terrified, but now I know I needed them. I'm grateful to them."

"Do you sleep well at night?"

"Now I do, yes."

"Tell me your dreams."

"I used to have terrible dreams; something was always chasing me. I thought I was going to be murdered."

"Do you still have those dreams?"

"Not anymore. My dreams are very peaceful. I see bright colors and smiling people. Last night, I dreamed I was at a ski resort, flying down the slopes. It was wonderful. I don't mind cold weather at all anymore."

"How do you feel about your father?"

"I want him to be happy, and I want to be happy."

"Ashley?"

"Yes."

"I'm Dr. Hoelterhoff."

"How do you do, Doctor?"

"They didn't tell me how beautiful you were. Do you think you're beautiful?"

"I think I'm attractive"

"I hear that you have a lovely voice. Do you think you do?"

"It's not a trained voice, but, yes"-she laughed-"I do manage to sing on key."

"And they tell me you paint. Are you good?"

"For an amateur, I think I'm quite good. Yes."

He was studying her thoughtfully. "Do you have any problems that you would like to discuss with me?"

"I can't think of any. I'm treated very well here."

"How do you feel about leaving here and getting out into the world?"

"I've thought a lot about it. It's scary, but at the same time it's exciting."

"Do you think you would be afraid out there?"

"No. I want to build a new life. I'm good with computers. I can't go back to the company I worked for, but I'm sure I can get a job at another company."

Dr. Hoelterhoff nodded. "Thank you, Ashley. It was a pleasure talking to you."

Dr. Montfort, Dr. Vaughn, Dr. Hoelterhoff and Dr. Keller were gathered in Otto Lewison's office. He was studying their reports. When he finished, he looked up at Dr. Keller and smiled.

"Congratulations," he said. "These reports are all positive. You've done a wonderful job."

"She's a wonderful woman. Very special, Otto. I'm glad she's going to have her life back again."

"Has she agreed to outpatient treatment when she leaves here?"

"Absolutely."

Otto Lewison nodded. "Very well. I'll have the release papers drawn up." He turned to the other doctors. "Thank you, gentlemen. I appreciate your help."

Chapter Twenty-nine.

TWO days later, she was called into Dr. Lewison's office. Dr. Keller was there. Ashley was to be discharged and would return to her home in Cupertino, where regular therapy and evaluation sessions had been arranged with a court-approved psychiatrist. days later, she was called into Dr. Lewison's office. Dr. Keller was there. Ashley was to be discharged and would return to her home in Cupertino, where regular therapy and evaluation sessions had been arranged with a court-approved psychiatrist.

Dr. Lewison said, "Well, today's the day. Are you excited?"

Ashley said, "I'm excited, I'm frightened, I'm-I don't know. I feel like a bird that's just been set free. I feel like I'm flying." Her face was glowing.

"I'm glad you're leaving, but I'm-I'm going to miss you," Dr. Keller said.

Ashley took his hand and said warmly, "I'm going to miss you, too. I don't know how I...how I can ever thank you." Her eyes filled with tears. "You've given me my life back."

She turned to Dr. Lewison. "When I'm back in California, I'll get a job at one of the computer plants there. I'll let you know how it works out and how I get on with the outpatient therapy. I want to make sure that what happened before never happens to me again."

"I don't think you have anything to worry about," Dr. Lewison a.s.sured her.

When she left, Dr. Lewison turned to Gilbert Keller. "This makes up for a lot of the ones that didn't succeed, doesn't it, Gilbert?"

It was a sunny June day, and as she walked down Madison Avenue in New York City, her radiant smile made people turn back to look at her. She had never been so happy. She thought of the wonderful life ahead of her, and all that she was going to do. There could have been a terrible ending for her, she thought, but this was the happy ending she had prayed for.

She walked into Pennsylvania Station. It was the busiest train station in America, a charmless maze of airless rooms and pa.s.sages. The station was crowded with people. And each person has an interesting story to tell, And each person has an interesting story to tell, she thought. she thought. They're all going to different places, living their own lives, and now, I'm going to live my own life. They're all going to different places, living their own lives, and now, I'm going to live my own life.

She purchased a ticket from one of the machines. Her train was just pulling in. Serendipity, Serendipity, she thought. she thought.

She boarded the train and took a seat. She was filled with excitement at what was about to happen. The train gave a jerk and then started picking up speed. I'm on my way at last. I'm on my way at last. And as the train headed toward the Hamptons, she began to sing softly: And as the train headed toward the Hamptons, she began to sing softly: "All around the mulberry bush,The monkey chased the weasel.The monkey thought 'twas all in fun,Pop! goes the weasel..."Author's Note DURING the past twenty years, there have been dozens of criminal trials involving defendants claiming to have multiple personalities. The charges covered a wide range of activities, including murder, kidnapping, rape and arson. the past twenty years, there have been dozens of criminal trials involving defendants claiming to have multiple personalities. The charges covered a wide range of activities, including murder, kidnapping, rape and arson.

Multiple personality disorder (MPD), also known as dissociative ident.i.ty disorder (DID), is a controversial topic among psychiatrists. Some psychiatrists believe that it does not exist. On the other hand, for years many doctors, hospitals and social services organizations have been treating patients who suffer from MPD. Some studies estimate that between 5 and 15 percent of psychiatric patients are afflicted with it.

Current statistics from the Department of Justice indicate that approximately one third of juvenile victims of s.e.xual abuse are children under six years of age, and that one out of three girls is s.e.xually abused before the age of eighteen.

Most reported cases of incest involve a father and daughter.

A research project in three countries suggests that MPD affects I percent of the general population.

Dissociative disorders are often misdiagnosed, and studies have shown that, on average, people with MPD have spent seven years seeking treatment, prior to an accurate diagnosis.

Two thirds of the cases of multiple personality disorder are treatable. Following is a list of some of the organizations devoted to helping and treating patients. In addition, I have included a list of books and articles that may be of interest.

UNITED STATES.

B.E.A.M. (Being Energetic About Multiplicity) P.O. Box 20428 Louisville, KY 40250-0428 (502) 493-8975 (fax) The Center for Post-Traumatic & Dissociative Disorders Program The Psychiatric Inst.i.tute of Was.h.i.+ngton 4228 Wisconsin Avenue, N.W.

Was.h.i.+ngton, D.C. 20016 (800) 369-2273.

The Forest View Trauma Program 1055 Medical Drive, S.E.

Grand Rapids, MI 49546-3671 (800) 949-8437.

International Society for the Study of Dissociation 60 Revere Drive, Suite 500 Northbrook, IL 60062 (847) 480-0899.

(847) 480-9282 (fax) Justus Unlimited P.O. Box 1221 Parker, CO 80134 (303) 643-8698.

Masters and Johnson's Trauma and Dissociative Disorders Programs Two Rivers Psychiatric Hospital 5121 Raytown Road Kansas City, MO 64133 (800) 225-8577.

Mothers Against s.e.xual Abuse (MASA) 503 1/2 South Myrtle Avenue, No. 9 Monrovia, CA 91016 (626) 305-1986.

(626) 5035190 (fax) The Sanctuary Unit Friends Hospital 4641 Roosevelt Boulevard Philadelphia, PA 19124 (215) 831-4600.

The Sidran Foundation 2328 West Joppa Road, Suite 15 Lutherville, MD 21093 (410) 825-8888.

The Timberlawn Trauma Program 4600 Samuell Boulevard Dallas, TX 75228 (800) 426-4944.

ARGENTINA.

Grupo de Estudio de Trastornos de disociacion y trauma de Argentina Dra. Graciela Rodriguez Federico Lacroze 1820 7mo. A (1426) Buenos Aires Argentina Tel/Fax 541-775-2792 AUSTRALIA.

Australian a.s.sociation for Trauma and Dissociation (AATD) P.O. Box 85 Brunswick Melbourne, Victoria 3056 Australia Tel. (03) 9663 6225 Beyond Survival: A Magazine on Abuse, Trauma and Dissociation P.O. Box 85 Annandale, NSW 2038 Australia Tel. (02) 9566 2045 CANADA.

Canadian Mental Health a.s.sociation Metro Toronto Branch 970 Lawrence Avenue West, Suite 205 Toronto, Ontario Canada M6A 3B6 Tel. (416) 789-7957 Fax (416) 789-9079 Canadian Society for the Study of Dissociation c/o John O'Neil, MD, FRCPC 4064 Wilson Avenue Montreal, Quebec Canada H4A 2T9 Tel. (514) 485-9529 ISRAEL.

Maytal-Israel Inst.i.tute for Treatment & Research on Stress Eli Somer, Ph.D., Clinical Director 3 Manyan Street Haifa 34484, Israel Tel. +972-4-8381999 Fax +972-4-8386369 NETHERLANDS.

Nederlands-Vlaamse Vereniging voor de bestudering van Dissociatieve Stoornissen (NWDS) (Netherlands-Flemish Society for the Study of Dissociative Disorders) c/o Stichting RBC, location P.C. Bloemendaal Kliniek voor Intensieve Behandeling Atlantis Fenny ten Boschstraat 23 2555 PT Den Haag The Netherlands Tel. +31 (070)391-6117 Fax +31 (070)391-6115 Praktijk voor psychotherapie en hypnose Els Grimminck, M.D.

Wielewaal 17 1902 KE Castric.u.m The Netherlands Tel. (+31-0)251650264 Fax (+31-0) 251653306 UNITED KINGDOM.

British Dissociative Disorders Professional Study Group c/o Jeanie McIntee, MSo Chester Therapy Centre Weldon House 20 Walpole Street Chester CH1 4HG England Tel. 1244-390121 BOOKS.

Calof, David L., with Mary Leloo. Multiple Personality and Dissociation: Understanding Incest, Abuse, and MPD. Multiple Personality and Dissociation: Understanding Incest, Abuse, and MPD. Park Ridge, IL: Parkside Publis.h.i.+ng, 1993. Park Ridge, IL: Parkside Publis.h.i.+ng, 1993.

Putnam, Frank. Diagnosis and Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder. Diagnosis and Treatment of Multiple Personality Disorder. New York: Guilford Press, 1989. New York: Guilford Press, 1989.

---. Dissociation in Children and Adolescents: A Developmental Perspective. Dissociation in Children and Adolescents: A Developmental Perspective. New York: Guilford Press, 1997. New York: Guilford Press, 1997.

Roseman, Mark, Gini Scott, and William Craig. You the Jury. You the Jury. Santa Ana, CA: Seven Locks Press, 1997. Santa Ana, CA: Seven Locks Press, 1997.

Saks, Elyn R., with Stephen H. Behnke. Jekyll on Trial. Jekyll on Trial. New York: New York University Press, 1997. New York: New York University Press, 1997.

Schreiber, Flora Rheta. Sybil. Sybil. New York: Warner Books, 1995. New York: Warner Books, 1995.

Thigpen, Corbett H., and Hervey M. Cleckley. Three Faces of Eve. Three Faces of Eve. Rev. ed. Augusta, GA: Three Faces of Eve, 1992. Rev. ed. Augusta, GA: Three Faces of Eve, 1992.

ARTICLES.