Tell Me Your Dreams Part 38

That's the only one you care about, isn't it? Ashley, Ashley, Ashley. What about us?

"Alette?"

"Yes. I promise."

The months were going by, and there were no signs of progress. Dr. Keller sat at his desk, reviewing notes, recalling sessions, trying to find a clue to what was wrong. He was taking care of half a dozen other patients, but he found that it was Ashley he was most concerned about. There was such an incredible chasm between her innocent vulnerability and the dark forces that were able to take over her life. Every time he talked to Ashley, he had an overpowering urge to try to protect her. She's like a daughter to me, She's like a daughter to me, he thought. he thought. Who am I kidding? I'm falling in love with her. Who am I kidding? I'm falling in love with her.

Dr. Keller went to see Otto Lewison. "I have a problem, Otto."

"I thought that was reserved for our patients."

"This involves one of our patients. Ashley Patterson."

"Oh?"

"I find that I'm-I'm very attracted to her."

"Reverse transference?"

"Yes."

"That could be very dangerous for both of you, Gilbert."

"I know."

"Well, as long as you're aware of it...Be careful."

"I intend to."

NOVEMBER.

I gave Ashley a diary this morning.

"I want you and Toni and Alette to use this, Ashley. You can keep it in your room. Anytime that any of you has any thoughts or ideas that you prefer to write down instead of talking to me, just put them down."

"All right, Gilbert."

A month later, Dr. Keller wrote in his diary: DECEMBER.

The treatment is at a standstill. Toni and Alette refuse to discuss the past. It is becoming more difficult to persuade Ashley to undergo hypnosis.

MARCH.

The diary is still blank. I'm not sure whether the most resistance is coming from Ashley or Toni. When I do hypnotize Ashley, Toni and Alette come out very briefly. They are adamant about not discussing the past.

JUNE.

I meet with Ashley regularly, but I feel there's no progress. The diary is still untouched. I have given Alette an easel and a set of paints. I am hoping that if she begins to paint, there may be a breakthrough.

JULY.

Something happened, but I'm not sure if it's a sign of progress. Alette painted a beautiful picture of the hospital grounds. When I complimented her on it, she seemed pleased. That evening the painting was torn to shreds.

Dr. Keller and Otto Lewison were having coffee.

"I think I'm going to try a little group therapy," Dr. Keller said. "Nothing else seems to be working."

"How many patients did you have in mind?"

"Not more than half a dozen. I want her to start interacting with other people. Right now she's living in a world of her own. I want her to break out of that."

"Good idea. It's worth a try."

Dr. Keller led Ashley into a small meeting room. There were six people in the room.

"I want you to meet some friends," Dr. Keller said.

He took Ashley around the room introducing them, but Ashley was too self-conscious to listen to their names. One name blurred into the next. There was Fat Woman, Bony Man, Bald Woman, Lame Man, Chinese Woman and Gentle Man. They all seemed very pleasant.

"Sit down," Bald Woman said. "Would you like some coffee?"

Ashley took a seat. "Thank you."

"We've heard about you," Gentle Man said. "You've been through a lot."

Ashley nodded.

Bony Man said, "I guess we've all been through a lot, but we're being helped. This place is wonderful."

"They have the best doctors in the world," Chinese Woman said.

They all seem so normal, Ashley thought. Ashley thought.

Dr. Keller sat to one side, monitoring the conversations. Forty-five minutes later he rose. "I think it's time to go, Ashley."

Ashley stood up. "It was nice meeting all of you."

Lame Man walked up to her and whispered, "Don't drink the water here. It's poisoned. They want to kill us and still collect the money from the state."

Ashley gulped. "Thanks. I'll-I'll remember."

As Ashley and Dr. Keller walked down the corridor, she said, "What are their problems?"

"Paranoia, schizophrenia, MPD, compulsive disorders. But, Ashley, their improvement since they came here has been remarkable. Would you like to chat with them regularly?"

"No."

Dr. Keller walked into Otto Lewison's office.

"I'm not getting anywhere," he confessed. "The group therapy didn't work, and the hypnotism sessions aren't working at all. I want to try something different."

"What?"

"I need your permission to take Ashley to dinner off the grounds."

"I don't think that's a good idea, Gilbert. It could be dangerous. She's already-"

"I know. But right now I'm the enemy. I want to become a friend."

"Her alter, Toni, tried to kill you once. What if she tries again?"

"I'll handle it."

Dr. Lewison thought about it. "All right. Do you want someone to go with you?"

"No. I'll be fine, Otto."

"When do you want to start this?"

"Tonight."

"You want to take me out to dinner?"

"Yes. I think it would be good for you to get away from this place for a while, Ashley. What do you say?"

"Yes."

Ashley was surprised at how excited she was at the thought of going out to dinner with Gilbert Keller. It will be fun to get out of here for an evening, It will be fun to get out of here for an evening, Ashley thought. But she knew that it was more than that. The thought of being with Gilbert Keller on a date was exhilarating. Ashley thought. But she knew that it was more than that. The thought of being with Gilbert Keller on a date was exhilarating.

They were having dinner at a j.a.panese restaurant called Otani Gardens, five miles from the hospital. Dr. Keller knew that he was taking a risk. At any moment, Toni or Alette could take over. He had been warned. It's more important that Ashley learns to trust me so that I can help her. It's more important that Ashley learns to trust me so that I can help her.

"It's funny, Gilbert," Ashley said, looking around the crowded restaurant.

"What is?"

"These people don't look any different from the people at the hospital."

"They aren't really different, Ashley. I'm sure they all have problems. The only difference is the people at the hospital aren't able to cope with them as well, so we help them."

"I didn't know I had any problems until-Well, you know."

"Do you know why, Ashley? Because you buried them. You couldn't face what happened to you, so you built the fences in your mind and shut the bad things away. To one degree or another, a lot of people do that." He deliberately changed the subject. "How's your steak?"

"Delicious, thank you."

From then on, Ashley and Dr. Keller had meals away from the hospital once a week. They had lunch at an excellent little Italian restaurant called Banducci's and dinners at The Palm, Eveleene's and The Gumbo Pot. Neither Toni nor Alette made an appearance.

One night, Dr. Keller took Ashley dancing. It was at a small nightclub with a wonderful band.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" he asked.

"Very much. Thank you." She looked at him and said, "You're not like other doctors."

"They don't dance?"

"You know what I mean."

He was holding her close, and both of them felt the urgency of the moment.

"That could be very dangerous for both of you, Gilbert. .. ."

Chapter Twenty-five.

I know what the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l you're trying to do, Dockie. You're trying to make Ashley think you're her friend." know what the b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l you're trying to do, Dockie. You're trying to make Ashley think you're her friend."

"I am her friend, Toni, and yours."

"No, you're not. You think she's great, and I'm nothing."

"You're wrong. I respect you and Alette as much as I respect Ashley. You're all equally important to me."

"Is that true?"

"Yes. Toni, when I told you that you had a beautiful singing voice, I meant it. Do you play an instrument?"

"Piano."

"If I could arrange for you to use the piano in the recreation hall so you can play and sing, would you be interested?"

"I might be." She sounded excited.

Dr. Keller smiled. "Then I'll be happy to do it. It will be there for you to use."

"Thanks."

Dr. Keller arranged for Toni to have private access to the recreation room for one hour every afternoon. In the beginning, the doors were closed, but as other inmates heard the piano music and the singing from inside, they opened the door to listen. Soon, Toni was entertaining dozens of patients.

Dr. Keller was looking over his notes with Dr. Lewison.

Dr. Lewison said, "What about the other one-Alette?"

"I've set it up for her to paint in the garden every afternoon. She'll be watched, of course. I think it's going to be good therapy."