Sourcery - A Novel Of Discworld Part 39

Lights were going on all over the city, but the last few strands of sunset illuminated the gargoyles as they helped one another up the long climb to the roof.

The Librarian watched them from the open door, while giving himself a philosophic scratch. Then he turned and shut out the night.

It was warm in the Library. It was always always warm in the Library, because the scatter of magic that produced the glow also gently cooked the air. warm in the Library, because the scatter of magic that produced the glow also gently cooked the air.

The Librarian looked at his charges approvingly, made his last rounds of the slumbering shelves, and then dragged his blanket underneath his desk, ate a goodnight banana, and fell asleep.

Silence gradually reclaimed the Library. Silence drifted around the remains of a hat, heavily battered and frayed and charred around the edges, that had been placed with some ceremony in a niche in the wall. No matter how far a wizard goes, he will always come back for his hat.

Silence filled the University in the same way that air fills a hole. Night spread across the Disk like plum jam, or possibly blackberry preserve.

But there would be a morning. There would always be another morning.

About the Author.

Terry Pratchett lives in England, an island off the coast of France, where he spends his time writing Discworld novels in accordance with the Very Strong Anthropic Principle, which holds that the entire Purpose of the Universe is to make possible a being that will live in England, an island off the coast of France, and spend his time writing Discworld novels. Which is exactly what he does. Which proves the whole business true. Any questions? lives in England, an island off the coast of France, where he spends his time writing Discworld novels in accordance with the Very Strong Anthropic Principle, which holds that the entire Purpose of the Universe is to make possible a being that will live in England, an island off the coast of France, and spend his time writing Discworld novels. Which is exactly what he does. Which proves the whole business true. Any questions?

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UNANIMOUS PRAISE FOR TERRY PRATCHETT FOR TERRY PRATCHETT.

"Pratchett has now moved beyond the limits of humorous fantasy, and should be recognized as one of the more significant contemporary English language satirists."

Publishers Weekly "He's arguably the purely funniest English writer since Wodehouse."

Was.h.i.+ngton Post Book World "Discworld takes the cla.s.sic fantasy universe through its logical, and comic evolution."

Cleveland Plain Dealer "His books are richly textured, and far more complex than they appear at first."

Barbara Mertz "Unadulterated fun...witty, frequently hilarious."

San Francisco Chronicle "Truly original.... Discworld is more complicated and satisfactory than Oz.... Has the energy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and the inventiveness of and the inventiveness of Alice in Wonderland Alice in Wonderland.... Brilliant!"

A. S. Byatt "Consistently, inventively mad...wild and wonderful!"

Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine "Simply the best humorous writer of the twentieth century."

Oxford Times "A brilliant storyteller with a sense of humor...whose infectious fun completely engulfs you.... The d.i.c.kens of the twentieth century."

Mail on Sunday (London) (London) "If you are unfamiliar with Pratchett's unique blend of philosophical badinage interspersed with slapstick, you are on the threshold of a mind-expanding opportunity."

Financial Times (London) (London) "The funniest parodist working in the field today, period."

New York Review of Science Fiction "Pratchett demonstrates just how great the distance is between one-or two-joke writers and the comic masters whose work will be read into the next century."

Locus "As always he is head and shoulders above the best of the rest. He is screamingly funny. He is wise. He has style."

Daily Telegraph (London) (London) "Pratchett is a comic genius."

Express (London) (London) "Terry Pratchett does for fantasy what Douglas Adams did for science fiction."

Today (Great Britain) (Great Britain) "What makes Terry Pratchett's fantasies so entertaining is that their humor depends on the characters first, on the plot second, rather than the other way around. The story isn't there simply to lead from one slapstick pratfall to another pun. Its humor is genuine and unforced."

Ottawa Citizen "Terry Pratchett is more than a magician. He is the kindest, most fascinating teacher you ever had."

Harlan Ellison "Delightful.... Logically illogical as only Terry Pratchett can write."

Anne McCaffrey

BOOKS BY TERRY PRATCHETT.

The Carpet People The Dark Side of the Sun Strata * * Truckers Truckers Diggers * * Wings Wings Only You Can Save Mankind Johnny and the Dead * * Johnny and the Bomb Johnny and the Bomb The Unadulterated Cat (with Gray Jollife) (with Gray Jollife) Good Omens (with Neil Gaiman) (with Neil Gaiman) THE D DISCWORLD S SERIES:.

Going Postal * * Monstrous Regiment Monstrous Regiment * * Night Watch Night Watch The Last Hero * * The Truth The Truth * * Thief of Time Thief of Time The Fifth Elephant * * Carpe Jugulum Carpe Jugulum The Last Continent * * Jingo Jingo Hogfather * * Feet of Clay Feet of Clay * * Maskerade Maskerade Interesting Times * * Soul Music Soul Music * * Men at Arms Men at Arms Lords and Ladies * * Small G.o.ds Small G.o.ds Witches Abroad * * Reaper Man Reaper Man Moving Pictures * * Eric Eric (with Josh Kirby) (with Josh Kirby) Guards! Guards! * * Pyramids Pyramids Wyrd Sisters * * Sourcery Sourcery * * Mort Mort * * Equal Rites Equal Rites The Light Fantastic * * The Color of Magic The Color of Magic

Mort: A Discworld Big Comic (with Graham Higgins) (with Graham Higgins) The Streets of Ankh-Morpork (with Stephen Briggs) (with Stephen Briggs) The Discworld Companion (with Stephen Briggs) (with Stephen Briggs) The Discworld Mapp (with Stephen Briggs) (with Stephen Briggs) The Pratchett Portfolio (with Paul Kidby) (with Paul Kidby)

Copyright This book is a work of fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue are drawn from the author's imagination and are not to be construed as real. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

SOURCERY. Copyright 1988 by Terry Pratchett. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, down-loaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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* The furrow left by the fleeing gargoyles caused the University's head gardener to bite through his rake and led to the famous quotation: "How do you get a lawn like this? You mows it and you rolls it for five hundred years and then a bunch of b.a.s.t.a.r.ds walks across it." The furrow left by the fleeing gargoyles caused the University's head gardener to bite through his rake and led to the famous quotation: "How do you get a lawn like this? You mows it and you rolls it for five hundred years and then a bunch of b.a.s.t.a.r.ds walks across it."

* In most old libraries the books are chained to the shelves to prevent them being damaged by people. In the Library of Unseen University, of course, it's more or less the other way about. In most old libraries the books are chained to the shelves to prevent them being damaged by people. In the Library of Unseen University, of course, it's more or less the other way about.

* At least, by anyone who wanted to wake up the same shape, or even the same species, as they went to bed. At least, by anyone who wanted to wake up the same shape, or even the same species, as they went to bed.

* The vermine is a small black-and-white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little b.a.s.t.a.r.d will do anything rather than let go of it. The vermine is a small black-and-white relative of the lemming, found in the cold Hublandish regions. Its skin is rare and highly valued, especially by the vermine itself; the selfish little b.a.s.t.a.r.d will do anything rather than let go of it.

* This was because Gritoller had swallowed the jewels for safe keeping. This was because Gritoller had swallowed the jewels for safe keeping.

* The Ankh-Morpork Merchants' Guild publication The Ankh-Morpork Merchants' Guild publication Wellcome to Ankh-Morporke, Citie of One Thousand Surprises Wellcome to Ankh-Morporke, Citie of One Thousand Surprises describes the area of Old Morpork known as The Shades as "a folklorique network of old alleys and picturesque streets, wherre exitment and romans lurkes arounde everry corner and much may be heard the traditinal street cries of old time also the laughing visages of the denuizens as they goe about their business private." In other words, you have been warned. describes the area of Old Morpork known as The Shades as "a folklorique network of old alleys and picturesque streets, wherre exitment and romans lurkes arounde everry corner and much may be heard the traditinal street cries of old time also the laughing visages of the denuizens as they goe about their business private." In other words, you have been warned.

* The study of genetics on the Disc had failed at an early stage, when wizards tried the experimental crossing of such well known subjects as fruit flies and sweet peas. Unfortunately they didn't quite grasp the fundamentals, and the resultant offspring-a sort of green bean thing that buzzed-led a short sad life before being eaten by a pa.s.sing spider. The study of genetics on the Disc had failed at an early stage, when wizards tried the experimental crossing of such well known subjects as fruit flies and sweet peas. Unfortunately they didn't quite grasp the fundamentals, and the resultant offspring-a sort of green bean thing that buzzed-led a short sad life before being eaten by a pa.s.sing spider.

* The overwhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpion pit. The overwhelming majority of citizens being defined in this case as everyone not currently hanging upside down over a scorpion pit.

* Wizards' tastes in the matter of puns are about the same as their taste in glittery objects. Wizards' tastes in the matter of puns are about the same as their taste in glittery objects.

* Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure in any case. Any water that had pa.s.sed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed. Of course, Ankh-Morpork's citizens had always claimed that the river water was incredibly pure in any case. Any water that had pa.s.sed through so many kidneys, they reasoned, had to be very pure indeed.

* No one ever had the courage to ask him what he did there. No one ever had the courage to ask him what he did there.

* Or up, or obliquely. The layout of the Library of Unseen University was a topographical nightmare, the sheer presence of so much stored magic twisting dimensions and gravity into the kind of spaghetti that would make M. C. Escher go for a good lie down, or possibly sideways. Or up, or obliquely. The layout of the Library of Unseen University was a topographical nightmare, the sheer presence of so much stored magic twisting dimensions and gravity into the kind of spaghetti that would make M. C. Escher go for a good lie down, or possibly sideways.

* The Has.h.i.+s.h.i.+m, who derived their name from the vast quant.i.ties of The Has.h.i.+s.h.i.+m, who derived their name from the vast quant.i.ties of has.h.i.+sh has.h.i.+sh they consumed, were unique among vicious killers in being both deadly and, at the same time, inclined to giggle, groove to interesting patterns of light and shade on their terrible knife blades and, in extreme cases, fall over. they consumed, were unique among vicious killers in being both deadly and, at the same time, inclined to giggle, groove to interesting patterns of light and shade on their terrible knife blades and, in extreme cases, fall over.

* Although, possibly, quicker. And only licensed to carry fourteen people. Although, possibly, quicker. And only licensed to carry fourteen people.

* In a truly magical universe everything has its opposite. For example, there's anti-light. That's not the same as darkness, because darkness is merely the absence of light. Anti-light is what you get if you pa.s.s through darkness and In a truly magical universe everything has its opposite. For example, there's anti-light. That's not the same as darkness, because darkness is merely the absence of light. Anti-light is what you get if you pa.s.s through darkness and out the other side out the other side. On the same basis, a state of knurdness isn't like sobriety. By comparison, sobriety is like having a bath in cotton wool. Knurdness strips away all illusion, all the comforting pink fog in which people normally spend their lives, and lets them see and think clearly for the first time ever. Then, after they've screamed a bit, they make sure they never get knurd again.