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His fingers then reached over and stroked along my jaw line, pinching the tip of my chin.
At that moment, I decided losing my mind might not be a bad thing after all. If insanity meant living in a world where I got to feel like this every moment, I would gladly embrace it.
Chapter 33 - Nothing Stays the Same.
The two-hour drive to Bad Reichenhall was incredible. As we approached the mountains, the scenery became more idyllic with rolling hills and lush forest. The Autobahn opened up the farther away we got from the city. Shepard squeezed my thigh before punching the gas at an unholy speed, howling like a maniac. The adrenaline of flying down a road at over one hundred and twenty miles an hour has a way of scaring the s.h.i.+t out of you, but after the first time it happens, you want to do it again and again. I understood why he loved this car; despite the name he gave it, she was incredible. The way he drove with precision and total control made me dizzy with l.u.s.t.
I always thought women who fawned over men with cars like this were idiots, and that the men who bought them had something to prove. Shepard had nothing to prove. This was his toy, albeit a very expensive one, and it made him happy.
"You know you love it." He chuckled while rubbing the dashboard again.
"Whatever..."
"It's okay, I won't tell anyone. That's kind of narcissistic, though. I mean who loves a car?" When I lightly punched his arm, his hand went up to fight me off. "Whoa, whoa, driving here!" Placing my hands together in my lap like a scolded child, I tucked in my lips and looked out the window. "That's better, sit there and be quiet like a good little girl."
My eyes grew wide as he mocked me. "You of all people know I am terrible at being obedient."
With a confident smirk, he initiated a challenge. "I can change that."
Crossing my arms and meeting his intense gaze, the warmth in my center started to stir. I knew this was dangerous, yet I couldn't resist.
"Oh really, is that so?" I piqued my brow and looked at the road.
"How about spending more time paying attention to driving like you said you were instead of egging me on?"
He placed both hands back on the wheel, yet I could feel this was not over. For good measure, I flicked my wrist as though I were holding a whip and made the snapping noise with my lips.
"Whapushhh..."
Instantly, his hand reached over and started to tickle me silly, causing him to swerve. Squealing, I grabbed his arm in an attempt to get him to stop. His hand slowed and dipped between my thighs. My heart stopped beating as we looked at each other in surprise. He pulled back and ran his fingers through his hair.
"I'm sorry, Vy."
I knew he was upset he got carried away. I shook my head and unsnapped my seat belt to scoot up on my knees, and leaned over the armrest to kiss him on the cheek. "Shhh...you could never do anything to upset me, remember?"
The smile returned to his face as we rode the rest of the way in a comfortable silence. Pulling up to the valet of a beautiful hotel I suddenly felt very under dressed. "Shepard, you could have told me to look a little nicer!" My ballet flats and rolled up jeans were out of place on the upscale brick street.
"Nonsense, Violet, you look fine. Besides, look at what you just got out of; no one cares about your appearance. Sorry, it's true."
Taking a second look, he was right a no one was concerned. It was all in my head. Gently grasping my hand, he pulled me through an alley to the side of the hotel. I wanted to ask where we were going, but he moved as if he had been there before. A long metal fence held a small opening into a large garden. Paths lined with cedar chips wound through the multi acre private park. Realizing this was behind the hotel, I was blown away by how well it was hidden. Ma.s.sive pine trees with heavy boughs provided shade as you approached a man-made pond with a fountain in the center. Large lily pads and lotus flowers floated delicately on the surface. White swans left small ripples in their wake as they lazily drifted across. We walked unhurriedly along the trails, admiring the beauty and solitude. It felt nice getting to stretch our legs after sitting for a while.
"I like this place, it's very serene." Still holding my hand, he began to swing it back and forth in wide movements.
"I thought you would."
"You seem to know quite a few things that I would like. Are you sure this isn't my imagination?"
"No, you're just predictable." I stopped which caused him to jerk back slightly.
"Wow, you are really pus.h.i.+ng it today! I am not predictable."
He started to chuckle again as if he knew a joke I wasn't getting.
"Yes you are, it's easy. If it's old and pretty you like it, simple as that."
My face dropped, was it that uncomplicated?
"Hey, it's okay. It's a good thing, it's great actually. It's one of my favorite things about you. You don't need all of this, but you appreciate it. Do you know how many people walk back here and never see things the way I know that you do? There are people who work their a.s.ses off to make sure this place looks immaculate, yet no one notices. They only recognize when something is wrong. But with you, I can tell by following your eyes you absorb every detail and soak it in. You touch and smell everything; all of your senses are at work. It's breathtaking."
"Um, okay...isn't that what you said when you would watch me diddling in the tub?"
A red flush came over his cheeks, causing me to start laughing hysterically. Playfully irritated, he tugged my arm again to lead me back out to the street and down through a row of shops. I was intrigued by all of the stores selling salt. He told me this region has been famous for centuries because of salt mining, especially the more you went into Austria. There was also a ma.s.sive candy shop so bright and sweet looking, my teeth hurt just walking past it.
I purchased a small hatpin to remind me of this stop before we wound our way through the small town. Fountains of all sizes adorned the city, from very small to one that was nearly a city block long. It was a wall fountain over two stories tall where water dripped down a twig type of covering. A sign said it was called The Gradierhaus. In front of that was a gigantic stone fountain with beach type wooden recliners all around it and a handful of senior citizens sun lounging.
Every few feet we seemed to pa.s.s another display or sculpture.
"What is this place?"
Holding his hand up over his eyes to guard it from the sun, he walked a few feet before answering.
"It's called Kur Gardens. It means spa garden. Bad Reichenhall is a big ski town in the winter, but in the warmer seasons, people come for the healing properties of the salt and alpine waters."
Beyond the park, I could see vibrant frescos painted on the sides of the buildings. This place did seem aesthetically appealing in every way.
"Is there some pool or something I can jump in and get healed?" I was being sarcastic, but at this point, I would try anything.
"Sorry, Violet, there's not enough water in the ocean to help you."
I cringed even though it was a joke. "Oh, burn!"
Knocking my shoulder with his, I stumbled off the concrete path into a flowerbed where I fell flat on my b.u.t.t in the dirt. My hands were crus.h.i.+ng the beautiful plants, and I was frightened by what sort of damage my rear did. As he extended a hand to me, all I could see was a shadow surrounded by the rays of the sun, as if Shepard were an eclipse. Taking hold, he gently pulled me to a standing position. I brushed my back end off with my hand, yet mud was caked into the denim.
"Are you sure I can't do anything to upset you?" he asked while looking at my hands and pants skeptically.
I shook my head. "Of course not, it was an accident. Why would I get mad, it's kind of funny? It's just dirt. Here, I will show you."
I started to chase Shepard around the gra.s.s with my muddy hands determined to get some part of him soiled as revenge. His foot looked like it caught a rock causing him to trip and fall forward.
"Ha, ha, ha! Serves you right, karma's a b.i.t.c.h!" I approached him a little closer and he grabbed my ankle and knocked me to the ground next to him. Catching me softly in his arms, he rolled over, pinning me beneath him.
"What do you know about fate, Violet? How do you know that I didn't do this on purpose just so I could show you that you are not in control?"
I tried to lift my hips to buck him off but he was too strong. As I twisted my wrist to escape his grasp, they began to burn. "Shepard, what are you doing?" Still fighting with all of my strength, it was useless as he held me on my back effortlessly, cackling loudly. Not being able to escape ignited the panic in my nerves. Even with the extra jolt of adrenaline, I was helpless and growing nauseous.
"Please...stop...," I whimpered. Realizing something was wrong, he quickly let go and backed away enough to see my tear streaked face.
"Oh my G.o.d, Violet, I am so sorry, I was just playing." Pulling me into his lap, he started to rock back and forth frantically.
I curled into his chest, clutching his s.h.i.+rt, unable to stop crying. Once again, I looked like a crazy idiot in public with him. He didn't seem to care while holding me in his arms, trying to soothe me. Doing the breathing exercises I learned to help when I didn't have medication handy, I was able to calm down.
"Violet, honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." He kept rubbing his jaw along the side of my face with a voice of remorse.
"I know. It's okay." I was exhausted by the outburst combined with the time change. Feeling as though I could fall asleep in his arms, I wiggled my way out into a standing position. Following me as I started to walk back towards the hotel, not another word was said as we waited for the car to be returned. Refusing to go in covered in mud; he pulled around to the lot next to the park so I could change into something clean.
"Are you sure there isn't some magic pool I can jump in here? I'm totally ready!"
Resorting to humor to lighten the situation, he circled the car and hugged me tightly. Feeling his heart beat pounding into the side of my face I squeezed him back. It wasn't his fault I was this way, yet he was forced to deal with the aftermath. I knew I couldn't keep it all in forever and it was going to come out sooner than later. With a kiss on the forehead he opened the car door for me to slide in.
"No magic pools, but I have a pretty sweet bathtub I think you're going to like. First, we need to get some food. I planned on taking you to the hotel to eat, but we can go somewhere else if you'd like."
Knowing I ruined his plan, I asked if it was too late. Leaving the car in the lot, we circled the building to walk into the small pub style eatery. Shepard ordered the pork schnitzel and spaetzle, and I, the basil apple gnocchi. The food was delicious, yet the mood had changed. Finis.h.i.+ng quickly, he chanced a grasp at my hand, holding it gingerly as we walked back to the car. It was not too far of a drive into Austria. Several large billboards reminded the drivers to purchase the vignette required for travel. When I noticed the symbols adhered to the upper left corner of the winds.h.i.+eld, Shepard explained what each one meant and the countries they belonged to. He grew excited the closer we got to Salzburg.
"Never in my wildest dreams, Vy, could I imagine this moment. You have no idea what it means to me."
I just smiled and took everything in. The roads appeared smaller and the traffic increased the closer we got to the river and the old city center of Salzburg. The Hohensalzburg Fortress sat imposingly on top of the hill watching over the town. I couldn't resist the urge to start singing tunes from the Sound of Music. Shepard crouched as if my voice brought him pain. Twisting his index finger in his ears he coughed out.
"Who sings in that movie?"
Pulling back I replied, "Julie Andrews."
While keeping his eyes on the brake happy car ahead of us, his reply was, "Keep it that way."
I wasn't that bad when I tried, but I was being pretty obnoxious in my attempts at hitting the high notes. He flinched, antic.i.p.ating another punch before busting out laughing.
"I never thought I would say this, but you have become an a.s.shole." I was secretly entertained by his riotous behavior, but I dared not admit it, at least not yet. He seemed to have developed an ego I wondered if I really had a hand in creating.
"I guess that's what happens when you don't have a woman to keep you in line."
Although we established there was no significant other currently in each other's lives, I doubted he had remained single all this time. Deciding to test the waters, I pushed a little deeper. "Right now, but surely I just caught you in between one of your steamy dalliances. The car, the look, you're a total heartbreaker." Leaning in, I pretended to wait for juicy gossip, but his mouth formed a tight line. He wasn't amused with my remark.
"Is that what you think, Violet? I am some frivolous playboy who plows through women?" Sinking back into my seat, I wasn't sure what I felt. I didn't want to be that weak girl who had the nervous breakdown at the auto shop. I had to prove to myself I could handle this. "I know what you're doing and you can stop. I hate to break it to you, but I am not some piece of s.h.i.+t like the one who has obviously broken you."
Stunned, my jaw just gaped, unable to respond at first. "You really are an a.s.shole. I'm done; I don't need your s.h.i.+t. Sorry, but I have filled my quota for the year. Take me to the airport, or train station, I don't care."
Turning my head to look out the window, I could feel him staring at me, yet I refused to look back. The Shepard I knew before would never be so callous towards me. People change a I should have known that. Nothing stays the same.
"So that's it, you're just gone. No argument...just walking away. Good to know."
He sounded like I just confirmed some theory he had about me. I had judged him incorrectly and he was right once again.
"You say you know what I'm doing, but what the h.e.l.l is going on with you? We have been together less than forty eight hours and I am ready to jump out of the car. Don't get me wrong, I am really happy we ran into each other and for your willingness to help me out, but I don't need this; it's too much. I feel like we are two confused magnets that can't decide if they are drawn to or repulsed with one another."
He was now the one refusing to look at me. If it were another time, and another place, perhaps I would have the mental energy to sort out my feelings. Like everything else in my life, this was just another example of holding the wrong hand of cards in a high stake game of chance. I had to fold; there was no winning here.
"I know I am screwed up; I don't need to be reminded. I think it's best if I am on my own from here on out. I really do appreciate everything."
The tension between us was tangible. He continued to drive in silence through the city, ignoring my request. I didn't push the issue, knowing I was angry, as did he. Part of me wanted to know what he was thinking; the other part said I should know better. Three more days a that may be all I have with him, I needed to stop being so sensitive.
Chapter 34 - Ingrid.
The sun would be setting in a few hours as we pa.s.sed near the city center, then up a steep grade into a hillside neighborhood. Shepard pulled into a cut out off the side of the road and parked.
"We're here."
I wasn't able to see where here really was, all I could see was a large stone retaining wall against the parking spot. A few feet in front of the car was an opening with a stairway leading up to the house. Walking up the steps, I was eye level to a quaint garden with various flowers and what looked like a raspberry bush. A small but very tall home was built several stories into the side of the hill. It looked like it was older, but well kept. There were only three homes in this section that I could see, with a small walking path connecting them. Opening the door to the cream stucco covered building, Shepard guided me into the dark entryway with our luggage. A wooden stairwell was directly in front of us, with a small hallway to the right.
"You can go upstairs; I will be just a moment." His hand flicked on a few switches, lighting up the upper level. Figuring he was going back to the car for something, I nodded and removed my shoes before heading up.
The first level was the living room area and kitchen. It was very clean and modern, almost bare. There were no photos or personal items most people have a tendency to display. The kitchen was so tiny, my pathetic one looked like a palace compared to it. Against the wall, however, was a beautiful handcrafted fireplace that had seats molded into the side and a baking oven at the top.
Remembering he told me I would love the bathtub, I opened the door into the surprisingly large room. A shower stall was built into one wall with a single pedestal sink. Another wall created a part.i.tion, dividing the room so I had to walk around to see the rest of it. Against the windows was a sight that caused me to moan in delight. It was ridiculous how infatuated I was with bathtubs, but he was right. He knew I would love this. A large, antique, porcelain, claw footed tub nearly identical to the one in Cincinnati was at my fingertips.
Shepard was calling through the house for me when I yelled out where I was.
"I should have known exactly where you would be," he laughed while climbing into the empty tub with me.
"Where did you find this?" I grazed my fingers against the smooth cold walls lovingly, sedated by the sensation.
"It was in the house, actually. It's one of the reasons I bought it. It was a sign it was the right one."
Raising an eyebrow, I questioned someone making a decision based merely off a bathtub, then realized I would do the same thing. "So, what's the other reason you bought it?"
Tilting his head to the side, he gave me a deviant grin. "Do you want to know?" My lips pursed together, realizing we were visiting the same memory. I didn't reply, so he stood and held out his hand. "Let me show you, Violet."
He led me up the second stairway to the upper level. It was nearly open except for a wall with French doors that I imagined led to his bedroom. An office was in one corner with a media center and sofa in the other. It looked a little more personal, but not much. With the exception of the bookshelves lining the center area, he could have sublet the house while he was gone for all I knew.
A metal door was next to the office, which cracked as it pulled from the frame. Stepping out onto a narrow wraparound balcony, he guided me towards the front of the house. I now understood why he chose this place. An entire deck opened to the city below. A perfect view of the fortress and the churches along with the river sprawled at our feet. I could take a picture and never need to see anything else. I walked to the edge and held my hand to my chest in awe. The sun was setting behind the hills, creating a vibrant display of light against the clouds.
"Do you like it?"
I was speechless. I couldn't imagine living somewhere so beautiful; I would never leave my house if this was what I woke up to every day.