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She thought she felt that want in him, but maybe it was only her own desires she felt? After a few moments she heard a faint, unidentifiable sound. The door?
She'd just decided it was when she saw the light. It had already begun to fade by the time she scrambled up to look. She stared at the faint glow where he'd been standing only moments before until there was only darkness and finally lay down again.
The urge to cry swept over her in an inescapable avalanche. For once, she didn't try to fight it off. For once, it was safe to allow her grief and hurt full reign. There was no one to hear, no one to care or judge her for having no control over her emotions. She cried until she was so exhausted sleep claimed her again.
It was the maid that woke her, tapping on the door and announcing that she was from housekeeping. 'Come back later!' Sybil bellowed, uncaring of how surly she sounded.
Chapter Twelve.
Anka was still seething when he reached the s.h.i.+p. He didn't know if he was more furious about his *slip' or Sybil's reaction to it. He supposed it was unfair to be angry with her when he'd gone out of his way to play up those traits they had in common with, or similar to, humans and downplay the things that made them very different. She'd seemed to accept him so easily, though, he'd allowed himself to believe the differences wouldn't matter to her, that she truly did accept him for what he was.
Clearly he was wrong, he thought wryly. The horror on her face when she'd seen his claws was still a painful image in his mind.
It was just as well, he told himself angrily. Sooner or later he was bound to slip up. He was was what he was. He couldn't change that even if he wanted to and he didn't. He had as much pride in his own heritage as she did. what he was. He couldn't change that even if he wanted to and he didn't. He had as much pride in his own heritage as she did.
In any case, that chapter was closed. He would not see her again. He'd done all that he could to help her people come to terms with the fact that they were here to stay. Now he had to focus on making certain they had a place to stay.
Very likely, as angry as the incident had made him, it was for the best for both him and Sybil. He was left in no doubt that he was still a monster in her eyes and she was left with no doubt that he was.
A week pa.s.sed in abject misery, two. Time seemed to have warped out of shape. In some ways it seemed every day dragged by and then something would jolt Sybil out of her absolute focus on her grief and she would discover days had pa.s.sed without her even being aware of it.
It was easy to lose track of time on the moon-harder to track it when the days and nights were marked on a clock rather than the rising and setting of the sun. The job she'd been a.s.signed to was a s.h.i.+t detail, but Sybil hardly noticed or cared when she did. In the back of her mind she knew it was the military's way of expressing their displeasure with her decision to take her knowledge and experience out of the work pool, but she couldn't summon much in the way of resentment about it.
She was aware of the ticking clock because of that realization, though. She knew she should be working out a game plan for what she would do when she was discharged, but she couldn't seem to gather any enthusiasm for it and finally decided it was just as well. How could she make plans anyway until she knew what options she might have?
It finally occurred to her that she might ought to explore a few options for employment and she went to the public terminal to look for possibilities. She had a degree in geology, but she thought she had a better chance getting something in management-maybe.
It wasn't until she received a threat, thinly veiled as an invitation, from Congressman Webb's office that she remembered Meachum had insisted on talking to her about a job prospect. Unnerved when she realized she'd missed that appointment and that he'd probably interpreted it as a deliberate snub if not a challenge of his authority, Sybil accessed her calendar and made an unpleasant discovery.
She'd missed her cycle. The jolt that sent through her brought her more alert than anything had in a while and she checked the calendar again a little more frantically, trying to convince herself that she'd just forgotten to mark her last cycle down or she'd miscounted. Her last cycle should should have started a week after Anka had arrived on the moon for the peace talks. It didn't take a lot of searching to realize she hadn't just forgotten to make a note of it. She hadn't marked it because it hadn't happened. have started a week after Anka had arrived on the moon for the peace talks. It didn't take a lot of searching to realize she hadn't just forgotten to make a note of it. She hadn't marked it because it hadn't happened.
'Oh G.o.d! Oh my G.o.d!'
She didn't take birth control even though the military absolutely insisted upon it. She hadn't seen any reason to foul her body with potentially dangerous drugs when she didn't even have s.e.x!
Except she had-with Anka!
Dropping her head into her hands she considered that, but it just seemed so unreal she couldn't grasp it. Sure it had crossed her mind that things had changed-she had a lover. She was having s.e.x. But he wasn't human human, d.a.m.n it! He shouldn't have been able to impregnate her!
She struggled to think, to get a grip on her scattered wits. Maybe it was just a fluke? One of those emotional zigs that zagged and disrupted her cycle? It was rare. Her cycles were usually so regular she could've bet on them, but it did did happen and there was no getting around the fact that she'd had a tremendous upset when they'd been captured. happen and there was no getting around the fact that she'd had a tremendous upset when they'd been captured.
Except she'd had her d.a.m.ned cycle as usual when she'd come back. It was the one after that that hadn't made an appearance. So maybe she'd had a delayed reaction?
She struggled to accept that as a reasonable explanation and finally discarded it. Anka had beaten the odds and gotten her pregnant. There was no getting around it no matter how hard she worked to dismiss the possibility.
It wouldn't work, she realized abruptly, feeling an odd mixture of relief and deep disappointment. Maybe it had had happened, but it was bound to spontaneously abort when they couldn't possibly be closely enough related genetically for it to develop. Even if she didn't spontaneously abort, she needed to consider aborting it-for its sake. happened, but it was bound to spontaneously abort when they couldn't possibly be closely enough related genetically for it to develop. Even if she didn't spontaneously abort, she needed to consider aborting it-for its sake.
She thrust that thought aside. She simply couldn't consider it, not now, not when she missed Anka so much she almost wished she could die and get over the pain. In any case, she sure as h.e.l.l couldn't go to the base clinic for something like that! Not that it should have mattered about the pills she'd flushed instead of taking them when she was getting out in a matter of weeks anyway, but their reach went beyond the military. She was going to have a hard enough time finding a job. She didn't need a black mark on her record to make it impossible.
Her cycle was due. Maybe it would start and she could dismiss her fears?
Under the circ.u.mstances, she decided she really, really really couldn't afford to *decline' the congressman's *invitation'. She was in no state to wage a mental battle, but she had no choice and she presented herself at the appointed time and place. couldn't afford to *decline' the congressman's *invitation'. She was in no state to wage a mental battle, but she had no choice and she presented herself at the appointed time and place.
Meachum received her. She supposed she wasn't important enough to actually speak to the congressman himself.
'Have a seat, Lieutenant.'
She would've preferred to stand, but her knees were weak and she felt more than a little nauseous. She sat down.
He made a pretense of ignoring her to study the contents of a file, waiting until she s.h.i.+fted restlessly to address her again. 'As I mentioned to before, we have a job in mind that we feel you're uniquely qualified for.'
'Actually, I don't recall that you said that. What do mean *uniquely qualified'?' she asked, feeling the nausea intensify.
'You're relations.h.i.+p with Commander l'Kartay,' he said bluntly.
Sybil blinked at him, struggling to control the guilty blush trying to climb her cheeks. It was useless of course. 'Excuse me?'
He gave her a narrow eyed, a.s.sessing look. Instead of saying more, however, he turned the display on his desk. Sybil stared at the screen without any comprehension whatsoever for several moments. Slowly, her brain began to recognize the pixels on the screen and they resolved into an image that sent the blood rus.h.i.+ng from her head. She surged to her feet. 'How the f.u.c.k f.u.c.k did you get that?' did you get that?'
'I'll give you two guesses and the last one doesn't count,' he said coldly. 'Did you completely forget military protocol, Lieutenant? Or were you just too preoccupied to think about it?'
'That picture is from the bathroom in the G.o.d d.a.m.ned hotel,' Sybil snarled, pointing a shaking picture at it. 'And it was private! How dare you spy on me when I was off duty and off base!'
'We had Commander l'Kartay under surveillance from the time he arrived!' he growled at her, tapping his keyboard angrily to display one image after another, images captured from inside her quarters.
Under other circ.u.mstances, Sybil was sure she would've been so embarra.s.sed she would have crumbled beneath his accusing stare. At the moment, however, she was just plain furious.
'So? Do you have anything to say?'
Sybil's lips tightened. 'Could I get copies? I actually didn't get any of the footage myself!'
That set him back but only momentarily. 'You still mean to deny you have a relations.h.i.+p with this creature?'
It took all Sybil could do to refrain from knocking his teeth down his throat. Anka wasn't a creature creature! He was more of a man that that slimy b.a.s.t.a.r.d could ever hope to be! 'If you'll notice, we were f.u.c.king. Do you consider it a relations.h.i.+p every time you f.u.c.k somebody?'
'You want to play hardball? Fine!' He punched up a video and turned the volume wide open. Everything inside of her crumpled as she listened to Anka's teasing voice and watched him caress her. Why hadn't she realized before that his gentle touch seemed so much more than casual s.e.x or even pa.s.sion, she thought mournfully? She wilted back into her chair.
'What do you want?'
Satisfaction flickered in his eyes. 'We want you to continue your relations.h.i.+p. You already have a far better understanding of the aliens than anyone else. The relations.h.i.+p between the two of you should make it easier to pick up on things.'
Sybil thought she would throw up. The only reason she fought the urge to puke all over him and his desk was because she didn't want to let him know just how offensive she found his suggestion. It also flickered through her mind that it might make him suspicious of her condition. 'Spy, you mean?' she demanded through stiff lips.
His brows rose. 'Naturally, we'd expect you to pa.s.s on any information you might chance to overhear, but not per se. Mostly we're interested in the possibility that you might have some influence on him in our favor.'
'The treaty has been signed,' Sybil gasped. 'What possible influence could I have on something already done? Even supposing I had any influence with him! Regardless of what you think, he left me here without a backward glance. Do you honestly think he wouldn't have at least tried to get me to go with him if I'd meant a d.a.m.ned thing to him-beyond bed partner?'
'Maybe, maybe not. He did agree to allow us to put both a base and an emba.s.sy on Venus-and that was his concession, by the way. The others didn't seem keen on the idea. Obviously, he isn't totally against some interaction between us And that's where you'll come in handy. You'll be a.s.signed to the emba.s.sy. You will welcome him to your bed whenever he has any interest and you will find out what you can about them, their intentions We would be delighted to get our hands on any of their technology.'
Sybil's heart gave a hopeful thump, but she ignored it. She didn't know why Anka had agreed to it, but she thought they were really reaching to decide it had anything at all to do with her. She'd told him she was leaving the service so he wouldn't have expected her to be stationed there and he knew she was military so he'd had no reason to think she might be attached to the emba.s.sy in any capacity.
'Technology, my a.s.s! You mean weapons! Exactly how the f.u.c.k do you think I'd work that into the bedroom conversation? All that aside, we already have have enough to kill every man, woman, child, and animal on the planet several times over and I don't have a h.e.l.l of a lot of confidence in the government's restraint-in fact pretty much none! Do you think everybody hasn't begun to suspect the little covert operations going on under the wire? That they don't think it's d.a.m.ned curious that people are dropping like flies from diseases that come out of nowhere? Or we don't know you aren't above clearing away a little excess population *for the greater good', which means the rich and fat! enough to kill every man, woman, child, and animal on the planet several times over and I don't have a h.e.l.l of a lot of confidence in the government's restraint-in fact pretty much none! Do you think everybody hasn't begun to suspect the little covert operations going on under the wire? That they don't think it's d.a.m.ned curious that people are dropping like flies from diseases that come out of nowhere? Or we don't know you aren't above clearing away a little excess population *for the greater good', which means the rich and fat!
'I'm sorry,' she said flatly, although she wasn't. 'I'm afraid I don't really have the skills you need for this job. Beyond that, as I said, Anka left. Neither you nor I have any reason to suppose he would consider taking up where he left off even if I went and I have other plans.'
'Sit down,' he growled when she started to rise. 'I don't think you understand me. This isn't actually a request. It's more in the nature of a deal-Either you willingly cooperate with your government or your government will be bringing charges of treason against you for not only fraternizing with a potentially dangerous enemy of the United States but pa.s.sing potentially dangerous information to that enemy.'
Sybil gaped at him in disbelief and outrage. 'He couldn't spit without having it a.n.a.lyzed! You know d.a.m.ned well I never pa.s.sed any information, harmful or not! And what the h.e.l.l was the treaty about if not to bind us as friends and allies?'
Meachum came to his feet, leaning across the desk threateningly. 'What I know, Lieutenant Lieutenant, is that they are the biggest threat this country has ever faced! What I know is that they have technology that makes ours look like a kid's science experiment! What I know know is that they plucked a moon out of orbit around Jupiter and dropped in orbit around Venus as if they were picking up a f.u.c.king is that they plucked a moon out of orbit around Jupiter and dropped in orbit around Venus as if they were picking up a f.u.c.king ball ball and tossing it at a net! What I know is that we have no clue of what their actual intentions are toward us or what they're capable of, but we can guess and it scares the pure p.i.s.s out of me! It ought to scare you, too!' and tossing it at a net! What I know is that we have no clue of what their actual intentions are toward us or what they're capable of, but we can guess and it scares the pure p.i.s.s out of me! It ought to scare you, too!'
'What I I know,' Sybil screamed at him, 'is that they sell medications for paranoia and you ought to take advantage of it! If they had any evil intentions, they could've cut us down before we even knew they were there. Or do you suspect they have the same sort of sick, twisted mind that you do and they're playing some sort of cat and mouse game with us? Does logical thought never cross your mind? Why would they wait if they had malicious intent? Why agree to a treaty with us? What possible motive could they have?' know,' Sybil screamed at him, 'is that they sell medications for paranoia and you ought to take advantage of it! If they had any evil intentions, they could've cut us down before we even knew they were there. Or do you suspect they have the same sort of sick, twisted mind that you do and they're playing some sort of cat and mouse game with us? Does logical thought never cross your mind? Why would they wait if they had malicious intent? Why agree to a treaty with us? What possible motive could they have?'
'What I know know besides that is that I will give you one chance and one only to redeem yourself and prove your loyalty to your country and your species or you can rot in jail for the rest of your natural life! You can bank on it! besides that is that I will give you one chance and one only to redeem yourself and prove your loyalty to your country and your species or you can rot in jail for the rest of your natural life! You can bank on it!
'We made a treaty to prevent being annihilated by a potentially aggressive and far more advanced civilization. You have a week to pack your belongings up and be on the cargo s.h.i.+p carrying the first load of supplies to Venus.'
'What cargo s.h.i.+p?' Sybil asked blankly.
'The Mars vessel. It'll be loading the food stores that were intended to go out with the next batch of settlers.'
Sybil was too frightened to think when she left. If she hadn't been moving on autopilot she didn't think she could've made her way back to her quarters. As it happened, she found herself staring at the door without any recollection of having made the decision to head to her quarters or how she'd gotten there.
There was never any question that she would go. She had absolute faith that Meachum would make good on his *promise'. She was going to Venus or she was going to prison. It didn't matter that she knew she was innocent. Despite everything, maybe because of her military training, she'd always been careful to avoid discussing anything potentially sensitive. Anka hadn't probed her for information. He hadn't given her any about them, if it came to that. They'd focused on love talk and flirtation.
She had every confidence that Meachum could and would manipulate the avalanche of data he'd collected on her, though.
Anka would know when they sent her why why they'd sent her. He was no fool, regardless of what they seemed to think. they'd sent her. He was no fool, regardless of what they seemed to think.
It made her sick to her stomach to realize that he would instantly figure it out and think she'd agreed to it and sicker to accept that she wouldn't be able to even try to convince him it wasn't true. They weren't going to simply turn her lose now that they had her on a leash. She would be watched, constantly monitored.
After a few days it dawned on her that her period hadn't presented and she had another problem. Tell them? Or let them find out when and if the baby reached a point in development where it was unmistakable?
They wouldn't consider aborting it, she realized, even if they knew something was wrong with it. They'd be hopeful the baby would give them an even stronger hold on her, possibility even make it easier to manipulate Anka.
As if!
Most of the time they judged everybody by themselves, a mistake since politicians were like a different species. The rest of the time they *fantasized'. She sure as h.e.l.l couldn't picture that b.a.s.t.a.r.d Meachum getting all starry eyed about having a baby on the way by his lover!
It occurred to her, though, that it was the baby's best chance and the sooner she left the better. No one knew what the effects of micro-gravity might be on a fetus, even if it was off-set by fake gravity, because no one had wanted to find out. In any case, breeding was quickly becoming socially unacceptable given the problems they were already facing. Instead of congratulating expectant parents, people had begun to glare at them at the very least and often heckle or lecture them about their lack of consideration.
If the baby had been completely human it wouldn't have gotten a warm welcome on planet Earth. Being only half, a.s.suming it made it to term, would make it and her a pariah.
So she didn't really have a choice on two counts.
She felt a brief spurt of rebelliousness, but it died a quick death. She had nowhere to escape to. Still trying to figure out what she was going to do once she got to Venus, Sybil packed her belongings. She almost hoped Anka would ignore her. As crus.h.i.+ng as that was bound to be, it would make her life easier. She couldn't spy on him if he didn't come near her.
The sheer terror slowly faded as Anka watched the moon glide smoothly into the orbit they'd calculated for it. The cold sweat that had broke from his pores while he watched the ma.s.s of rock and ice rocket toward the planet they had already invested so much in dried.
A ragged cheer went up from the crew members at the consoles monitoring the orbital insertion.
Anka allowed them a few moments to expel some of their own anxieties in a burst of celebration before he called them order. 'Let's not get ahead of ourselves. We managed to insert it. We'll need a careful watch to make sure it stays put. I want minute by minute. Any sign that it's beginning to stray and I want to know it immediately.'
Everyone sobered and focused on the readouts from their instruments. Anka watched the progress of their new moon for a while and finally moved to the other side of the room where the other half of the group was monitoring the planet. 'What's it looking like?'
'We're picking up an increase in spin. So far no new volcanic activity. No sign of stress quakes on the surface.'
Anka nodded, relieved, allowing himself a modic.u.m of hope. 'Let's keep a close watch. If the calculations were correct we should see a steady increase over the next twenty to thirty six hours in rotation and then stabilization.'
He moved to a chair and settled in it. The weakness in the wake of the adrenaline rush left him feeling shaky, but as he watched the monitor and listened to the crew quoting readouts a sense of triumph slowly began to take hold.
They'd done it! They'd feared the feat was beyond their capabilities, but he'd known they really had no choice but to try if they were ever to have a truly livable planet. The atmospheric plants could only do so much, particularly given the fact that there were still a good many active volcanoes on the planet that continued to spew gases that they had to expel.
The sluggish rotation of the planet, though, was part of the root of the problem, creating far too much stress from the sun's gravitational pull. If their calculations were right, the moon would give them the balance they needed to bring Venus' nights and days to a s.p.a.ce of time more conducive to plant and animal life.
If they were wrong they would still have to build underground and figure out how to grow food. He didn't particularly care for the fact that they would have to try to develop domestic animals for a protein source, but no one had yet been able to figure out the process of culturing it. Either they'd lost some of their data or it was simply beyond the skills of the scientists they had.
Very likely, it was both. They were poor in almost every resource, but the one they seemed poorest in was skills. They had more politicians and more unskilled laborers than they needed-at least at the moment. They didn't have nearly enough trained soldiers. They had a handful of engineers and mechanics that were so specialized it left enormous gaps in the things they needed, a few doctors and nurses who had no no specialized skills, theoretical and research scientists that were more interested in collecting data than actually inventing anything and the list went on. They couldn't seem to fix any d.a.m.ned thing that broke down without spending weeks or months pouring over manuals-when they could find them-and even then, more often than not, they couldn't find the parts or tools to do the job. specialized skills, theoretical and research scientists that were more interested in collecting data than actually inventing anything and the list went on. They couldn't seem to fix any d.a.m.ned thing that broke down without spending weeks or months pouring over manuals-when they could find them-and even then, more often than not, they couldn't find the parts or tools to do the job.
If their situation hadn't been so desperate, it might have been laughable that their civilization had come so far and then lost virtually everything overnight.
He dismissed the thought. They had the building blocks to survive-a.s.suming they actually had managed to collect a moon to jumpstart Venus' rotation. The planet should cool down enough without the oppressive gases and with a better rotation that they could settle fairly comfortably near the poles. It would still be hotter than any of them were accustomed to, but they would be close enough to conditions they were used to to be able to acclimate themselves to it-as long as they still had the technology to cool their environment when needed. They wouldn't have seasons like the Earth did unless Venus developed a similar wobble on its axis, but that wasn't altogether a bad thing, as hard as it would be to grow accustomed to. They would have more time for growing food and that was the most critical problem they were facing-food shortages.
They had several excellent causes for celebration a few weeks later. Their transplanted moon was stable, Venus had achieved a rotational velocity that made the days a more acceptable fifteen hours, and they got word that the first payment from Earth for their land lease was on the way.
They had mixed feeling about the latter. The food couldn't have come at a better time when the Plutonian colonists were demanding to be allowed to move to Venus, but no one was really looking forward to having humans as close neighbors. Earth was close enough.