Echoes From A Distant Land Part 56

Jelani turned to him. 'Yes,' he said. 'Thank you.'

He displayed none of his usual aggression; in fact Jelani was devoid of any expression at all. Sam looked at the young white woman with him, who nodded towards a circle of ruined huts.

'It was Jelani's fiancee,' she said. 'A young woman by the name of Beth ... She's been ... We found her ... I can't -'

'It's all right; I understand. I'm sorry, Karura,' Sam said.

Jelani nodded an acknowledgement, and then added, 'Look, there are things to be done. I wonder if you could take Emerald back to Nairobi when you go.'

'No. I want to go with you,' she responded.

'Emerald, I told you: I have to go alone. It's important for me to do this right. I have to tell Beth's family about this. Alone.' Jelani turned to Sam again. 'You understand. Will you take her back for me?'

'If the young lady doesn't mind, I'd be happy to help.'

Emerald's silence indicated her reluctant agreement.

'Thanks,' Jelani said, and headed towards his car.

After a couple of paces he turned back to Sam. 'And one more thing,' he said. 'Will you take her back to her mother in the Norfolk? I mean, go with her in person.'

'Jelani!' she cried.

He waved away her complaint. 'I promised to look after her,' he said. 'And if you could speak to her mother for me ... I'd appreciate it.'

'Don't worry,' Sam said. 'I'll see to it.'

Jelani watched them go, relieved to be alone. He looked around the village, seeing the wider destruction for the first time. He'd been so frantic to find Beth that he'd seen nothing else until now.

The ambulances were full and the medics were loading bodies into utility vehicles and flat-bed trucks. A number of volunteers were a.s.sisting the police to bring the bodies in from the outlying parts of the village. Each pair of bearers led a solemn procession of family and friends, silent except for their sobs.

It hurt Jelani to think of his Beth being touched by strangers, so he took a bag and walked back to her hut. He could hardly bear to look at her brutalised body again as he laid her out and slipped the calico material over her legs and torso, up to her neck. He looked at her unmarked face one last time, trying to imagine her as she had been in life. Through his tears he could see her laughing with him, teasing him, loving him.

He sat with her, feeling strangely comforted by the silence of the village that had, until the terrible events of the night, resonated with voices and laughter. He whispered to her, reminding her of their plans: perhaps they'd have a small farm where they could keep goats and grow maize; they would fill their house with children.

The voices of the medics intruded. They had concluded their grim tasks in the centre of the village and had now worked their way to the huts at the edge of Lari.

Jelani closed the bag above Beth's head and pulled the cord tight.

As he carried Beth back to the medical units he shrugged aside the volunteers, feeling oddly angered by their offers of a.s.sistance.

He tried to compose the words he would say to her parents, but he couldn't think. The images of her rape and murder intruded like vicious demons intent on wounding him again and again. When he'd first found Beth's body he was so distraught that he felt his grief would never be expended, but now, as he laid her gently in the back of a postal delivery van beside other similar bags, it was transforming into a deep hatred of the Mau Mau. He hushed the voice in his head that said he was choosing hatred because it hurt less - and because he had done nothing to stop the rebels, or save his beautiful Beth from agony and terror.

The driver slammed the doors shut and climbed behind the wheel. After another moment he drove off and Jelani watched the van disappear down the winding road leading out of Lari.

Jelani had no heart to visit Beth's family.

All remnants of his grief were now gone. Even his aching pain had receded, leaving in its place a cold, murderous rage.

Kimathi.

CHAPTER 60.

As soon as Sam w.a.n.gira's car was out of sight of Lari, Emerald started to s.h.i.+ver. She bit her lip to keep her teeth from chattering; and sat on her hands to stop them shaking. Tears welled in her eyes as the horror she'd witnessed in the village came flooding back to her.

Nothing in her life had prepared her for such an experience, and she knew it would remain with her for a long time, perhaps forever.

She tried to take her mind to a better place, a safer place, where savage men didn't maim animals, grind children's skulls into mash and rape and murder innocent young women. She thought of the previous night's dinner in the elegant Lord Delamere Room at the Norfolk Hotel. She and her mother had dressed for the occasion. Her mother wore a pretty printed suit of pinks and greens with an A-line skirt, short-sleeved jacket with large pearl b.u.t.tons, canvas summer shoes and matching handbag. She'd completed her finery with a wonderful wide-brimmed straw hat and cotton gloves.

Emerald had felt very sophisticated in her London fas.h.i.+ons. She wore a full skirt of the finest organdie silk in a soft peach colour with a white velvet sash. It was very much reminiscent of Dior's New Look, with the bodice hugging her wasp-like waist. Instead of a hat, which she thought might be too hot for the evening indoors, she wore a large white velvet bow, stiffened by wire, rakishly set at an angle. It matched her white gloves, shoes and small handbag.

Jelani had been nervous in his second-hand blue suit, but he was as friendly as she recalled him being in New York. They chatted about the wedding and other diversions they'd indulge over the following month. It had all sounded so wonderful. Now she couldn't believe such a normal evening could precede the obscenity she'd just witnessed. She was twenty-one years old, but until yesterday she'd felt little more than a child. Now, with the horror of Lari fresh in her mind, she felt she'd taken another frightening step towards knowing the realities of life in Africa.

When her mother had revealed her secret, it changed their relations.h.i.+p. They became much closer. Now Emerald looked upon her mother as a woman - flawed and human. She understood why she'd been so strict and controlling. Dana wanted the best for her and she had spared nothing - including Jelani - to make it so. Well, she didn't need to worry about Emerald wasting her hard-won opportunities on regattas and Oxford boys any more.

Which raised the question of Jelani. Emerald had felt guilty since learning that she was the lucky twin. Now Jelani's loss of Beth compounded his misery and disadvantage.

Dana had asked Emerald to keep the fact that Jelani was her brother a secret from her stepfather. She was mature enough to understand why. Dana also said that she wanted to bring Jelani closer to them and, although they might nearly always live a world apart, to strenghten the bond between the three of them. Emerald agreed to do everything she could to make him feel loved, and a part of their lives.

In Lari, Emerald had felt genuinely vulnerable for the first time in her life. Africa was a very different place to her home in England, but as the car b.u.mped along the road to Nairobi, she gradually began to relax, somehow feeling quite secure in Sam w.a.n.gira's care. In spite of witnessing the same atrocities she had, he appeared calm and in control of his world. Emerald's, though, was changing faster than ever.

A solemn silence persisted during the first half of the drive to Nairobi. Sam made a number of attempts to get Emerald talking about what she'd seen at Lari, but failed. He then tried a different tack, asking her about Jelani. She slowly began to engage with him, telling him how patient and kind Jelani was, and how Beth and Jelani had planned to marry in the next few weeks.

'I never had the chance to meet Beth,' she said. 'But by the way Jelani talked about her, he was obviously very much in love.'

It was another revelation to Sam.

'Telling Beth's family is going to be difficult for him,' he said. 'Where do they live?'

'I think it's a place called Kimathi,' she said. 'I'm not sure. But Jelani just kept repeating the word Kimathi over and over. He was too upset to speak.'

Sam knew otherwise. The murderous attack on Lari was the trouble that his informant, Collins Mutisa, had predicted, although at the time he didn't know it would be led by Kimathi. But Jelani obviously knew he was responsible and had some impetuous idea to avenge his fiancee's death.

On Sam's latest information, Kimathi was somewhere outside Nakuru with a strong band of bodyguards. Sam had been reasonably sure Jelani Karura was a Mau Mau sympathiser, but now he didn't know. In the last hour, his view of Jelani had changed. He felt sympathy for his loss, and hoped he would not be foolish enough to try to find Kimathi, who was reportedly not simply committed to the Mau Mau cause, but insane.

As he drove through the winding forest road to Nairobi, he continued to encourage Emerald to talk. She told him about her interests in photography and the course she was taking in London. She wanted to be a photojournalist - a term Sam had not heard before.

Sam recalled Ira's pa.s.sion for photography and how he, as a young man scarcely ever out of the village, had been fascinated by it.

At the Norfolk, Sam followed Emerald through the lobby and into the garden. They pa.s.sed the aviary where golden weaverbirds darted and squabbled, then continued down the frangipani-scented path to the door of a garden suite where Emerald stopped and offered her hand.

'Thank you,' she said.

'Not at all. Perhaps I should stay to help you tell your mother about this.'

She smiled. A little more colour had come to her cheeks. 'That won't be necessary.'

'It's been a terrible morning for you.'

She nodded. 'For everyone.'

He said goodbye, and as he joined the path towards the hotel lobby, he heard the cabin door open and a woman's voice greeting Emerald.

His feet were leaden, and when he reached the aviary where the weavers darted about, squabbling and twittering, he lowered himself to a bench seat. In spite of the birds' noisy chatter, the tranquility of the garden gave him a respite from the discomforting memories of Lari. It pained him to see his fellow Africans inflicting such savagery upon one another instead of using those energies to win independence from the whites. He'd seen the b.l.o.o.d.y results of tribal warfare during his days in Abyssinia, but the brutality inflicted by the Mau Mau against their brother Kikuyus had shocked him. It must have been traumatic for the young white girl too, who had shown remarkable courage after witnessing the consequences.

He recalled promising Jelani Karura to see her to her door and to a.s.sure her mother that she'd come to no harm. Perhaps he was concerned that she know he'd been careful to arrange the girl's safe return. Sam decided to introduce himself before leaving, and to see that Emerald was still coping after her trauma.

He returned to the cabin door and knocked, turning to study the garden as he waited. Hibiscus hedges broke the neatly trimmed lawn into squares, in the centre of which were frangipani islands.

At the sound of the door opening, he turned back.

'Sam!' she said.

'Dana, how ...?' Sam looked from Dana to Emerald, who stood behind her. He suddenly remembered the resemblance he'd noticed at Grand Central.

Dana opened her mouth, but seemed unable to speak.

Emerald found her voice. 'How do you two know each other?'

Sam and Dana exchanged glances. Dana was the first to speak. 'It's quite a story, which I'll explain later. Right now, I want to speak to Sam. Why don't you go to your room, darling? I'll come by when it's time for dinner.'

'Come in, Sam,' Dana said, stepping aside to let him pa.s.s once Emerald had left. She closed the door behind him and took a deep breath as he ran his eyes around the suite. He still looked good in a suit - he was tall and his wide shoulders tapered to narrow hips.

He turned back to her and smiled. 'Dana. I can't believe it's you.'

'It's been a long time, Sam.' She indicated the sofa. 'Please, make yourself comfortable.'

He sat at one end, she sat at the other, leaning back on the pillow and crossing her legs. She thought she probably appeared more at ease than she felt. She was forearmed by the knowledge that Sam was somewhere in Kenya and there was always a chance they'd meet - she just didn't know when. On the other hand, the normally unflappable Sam had no knowledge she was there and, as a consequence, seemed quite shaken.

She guessed that Jelani had somehow contrived to get him there. It was just as well. She would have found it difficult to summon the resolve to approach him. But she hadn't prepared herself for what must be said; and she knew if she postponed telling him for too long, she would lose what little courage she had.

'Sam, I'm glad you're here, I -'

'I'm glad too, Dana. I've often thought about you, wondering where you are; how your life has turned out. You look good, by the way.'

'Thank you.' She smiled. 'So do you.'

'And that beautiful young woman is your daughter,' he said. 'My G.o.d. She has your eyes.'

'And several of my bad habits, I'm afraid.'

'I saw her in New York about a year ago. At Grand Central. She was with young Jelani Karura at the time. I'm curious, how do know -'

'You were in New York at the same time as us?'

'You were there too? We are plagued by coincidence, you and I.'

'Hmm ... I suspect this meeting isn't as much of a coincidence as you might think.'

He raised an eyebrow. She remembered the expression and the memory made her heart ache. She wondered if he still used the toe of one shoe to prise off the other rather than untie the laces.

'How do you know Jelani?'

It was an opening. She took a deep breath.

'Sam, I have a terrible ... admission to make.' She had trouble meeting his gaze. 'And I must ask that you say nothing until I've told it all.' She looked at him again. 'Can you agree?'

He nodded.

'It's been so long ... so long. I can't believe that we - who were once so very close - are now sitting here like second cousins.' She reached a hand to him. 'You seem so distant, Sam. Will you hold my hand?'

He smiled, and slid closer to take her hand in his.

'That's better.' She tried to compose her thoughts. There was no easy way. 'I have something to tell you. When I do, you will wonder why I kept it a secret, and then you will want to know why I waited so long to tell you. Let me answer the second question first. I am a coward, Sam. Try as I might, I've been unable to find the courage to do the decent thing. I've wanted to write to you for twenty years, but I was frightened. You see, I didn't want you to think badly of me.

'I often think about my time in Kenya. I'm not proud of some of the things I did here, but I have never regretted knowing you. We were so good together, Sam. I never met anyone else who - Maybe we're only allocated so much pa.s.sion to spend during one lifetime and when it's gone, it's gone. I'm not sure if that's true, but I do feel that our time together spoiled me for others. You were enough for one lifetime. I never felt the same about anyone else.

'So I didn't want to spoil that wonderful connection we had. I deferred telling you year after year, hoping that it might become easier. It hasn't. And now, leaving it for so long, I've made it worse than ever.

'And now to the reason I kept this a secret from you. I have two children - a boy and a girl. My daughter's father is my ex-husband, Edward, who you'll no doubt remember. It's more complicated than that, but that will do for the present.'

She paused, and cupped her other hand over his.

'I've thought about how I would put all this in a letter, but as I've already said, it was too difficult. But the thing is - what I've wanted to tell you for all these years - is that you are the father of my son.'

She felt his hand tighten in hers, and when she lifted her eyes from his hand to his face she could see his mind was in a turmoil. Disbelief. Shock. Was there anger?

'It was easier to avoid confessing until I met him last year.' She could see from his expression that he hadn't yet guessed his son's ident.i.ty. 'You've met him, Sam. He has your features: he's handsome and tall.'

The spark of awareness grew in his eyes.

'Forgive me, Sam. He already knows you're his father.'

'Karura?'

She nodded, and gripped his hand tighter, trying to prevent his earlier good feelings for her from sliding away. She didn't want to lose him again. Not with anger and resentment.

But he slowly slipped his hand from hers and, with great dignity, stood.

'I need to leave now.'

'Sam -'