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He had a heart, but he refused to acknowledge it.
As she'd locked away her past, Ian had locked away his heart. The difference was that her past had to be locked away. The past was ballast around her neck, dragging her down to drown. And Daniela wanted to fly. She wanted to live the life Ian had promised her, being anything she wanted to be, because everything was possible.
She could live without her past. She was better off without her past. But Ian couldn't live without his heart.
"Hey," he said. "Before we leave town, do you want to take the girls out for ice cream? We could all take the bus, with the volunteers as chaperones. I'm not complaining about the cafeteria downstairs, but I'm beginning to think that they're unfamiliar with the concept of dessert."
Her heart jumped like a fish jumping from the river in the sunset, in a slow arc, tail flapping with joy, water spraying, sparkling. They had postcards like that all over the city, catching that perfect moment.
"Sure."
She stared at Ian as he stood and gathered up his small bathroom bag, preparing for his shower.
She'd always cared about him. Long before she'd become physically attracted to him. But as he left the room with an "I'll be right back," the truth hit her so hard, she felt flattened to the bed.
She wasn't just attracted to Ian.
She was in love with him.
The bed seemed to spin with her. She closed her eyes.
Love.
Was she brave enough for that?
Love wasn't something she contemplated often. Like physical desire, she wasn't sure she'd ever feel love. The college campus had been drenched in it, but to Daniela, it always seemed superficial. Her friends were in love with one guy this week, another guy the next. Most of the time, when someone said love, they meant s.e.x.
She knew s.e.x. She knew the difference.
But now her heart filled with a soft, warm, gooey, boundless feeling. Was she brave enough to give herself over to it?
Yes, she was, she decided.
And Ian?
Ian would have to be brave enough to acknowledge his heart. And he would have to get over his unreasonable ideas that he was nothing but her protector, that he was too old for her, that he was her mentor, that a deeper, more intimate relations.h.i.+p between them would be wrong.
When they found the baby, Ian would have to acknowledge that Daniela was useful in solving the case. He would have to see her as an adult, as his partner, as his equal.
As the perfect woman for him.
Chapter Seventeen.
Ian Daniela was ready to go at dawn, buzzing with excitement, but Ian held her back. They were going with the package-delivery idea, but the post office didn't open that early. He wanted to make sure their story was plausible.
So he made her eat breakfast, and they were there to say good-bye to Carol, see her out to the airport taxi. Everybody was there. The girls gifted her with a sisal diaper bag they'd made just for her.
Rain had fallen overnight, so the sidewalk was wet, humidity already probably close to ninety percent. But at least the worst of the heat was still a few hours away. Carol would be on the plane by the time the sun fully hit, comfortable in an air-conditioned cabin.
The staff and volunteer visitors gave Carol hug after hug, cards, small gifts that she had trouble tucking into her overflowing suitcase. The Heyerdahls embraced her the longest.
Ian wondered if they weren't a little relieved to see her go. Having another baby around would have been difficult to cope with while their own baby was still missing. Hearing a baby cry in the night...
But Carmen and Phil had nothing but sadness on their faces for losing Carol. They promised to keep in touch. Carmen promised to be on hand over the phone for any baby advice Carol might need.
Then the cab was moving off, everyone on the sidewalk waving.
When the others returned inside the building, Ian flagged down another cab and gave Essie's new address.
Next to him in the back, Daniela was chewing her bottom lip.
"It'll be fine," he said. "By the end of the day today, we'll know more, one way or the other."
She took his hand and squeezed it. He didn't have the heart to pull away.
By the time the cab pulled up in front of the right building, Ian caught her case of nerves. He wanted to find the baby as much as Daniela did. He couldn't stand thinking about a little kid in harm's way.
They went up. Knocked.
"Bom dia!" Daniela called a good morning through the door, then she went into her post office package-for-delivery spiel, speaking in rapid Portuguese.
No response.
Ian knocked again. He kept his voice low as he said, "I hope I didn't spook her yesterday."
He knocked a third time. Waited. Nothing.
Daniela tried the doork.n.o.b, then looked back at him as the door opened a crack. He gently pushed her aside and went in first.
He could see the entire small studio apartment at a glance. The bathroom door stood open. n.o.body anywhere.
An empty box of baby formula sat on the table. He remembered those days. Pain sliced through his heart. He forced it back behind the hard sh.e.l.l he'd built and picked up the box, turned it over in his hands.
Daniela stepped up to him and looked at the formula. "What is it?"
"Essie's kid is two years old," he said carefully. "At that age, kids don't need formula anymore. They eat solid food."
Daniela's eyes flared with hope. "You think baby Lila's been here?"
He scanned the apartment again, noting the lack of belongings, the abandoned vibe of the place.
"They cleared out," he said through clenched teeth, holding back from punching a hole in the wall. "I might have spooked her with that fake call to the hospital. Then showing up at her door later."
He had to find them. He needed just one clue. He threw himself into searching the place.
While he looked around, checking for a single sliver of paper, anything that might give him a hint to where Essie had run, Daniela was staring at the garbage can overflowing with dirty diapers.
Ian stepped up behind her and looked over her shoulder. "Are you seeing something I'm not seeing?"
"Remember when we ran into Carol and she'd just been buying diapers?"
"So?"
"By that time, she already knew that she was going back to the US for her baby's birth. She had the ticket confirmation. I saw it. So why buy diapers in Brazil for a baby who was going to be born in the US?"
"What does Carol have to do with any of this?"
"Carol is your blind spot." Daniela's voice filled with sympathy, her gaze soft. "She reminds you of Linda."
"I don't want to talk about Linda."
"I know. And you don't have to right now. But just consider this... How do we even know that Carol is pregnant?"
He couldn't believe they were even discussing a fake pregnancy. "Because this is real life, not a sitcom. She looks pregnant."
"She could have gained weight."
"She doesn't look fat. She looks pregnant." G.o.d, he didn't have patience for this, not now, not when he'd screwed up. Last night, he should have found a way to get into this apartment, while Essie was still here.
Daniela tilted her head, then went still, as if holding her breath. "Have you seen Carol naked?"
A strangled laugh escaped him. But from the wounded look in her eyes, he realized she was asking seriously. "No. I didn't see Carol naked."
Daniela nodded and breathed. "So she could have a fake belly."
"Lila is almost seven months old. It's not like Carol could fake a pregnancy, steal Lila, then pa.s.s her off as a newborn."
But Daniela refused to see reason. "Carol is involved in this somehow. I know it. We need to go to the airport. Trust me."
So off they went, because, of course, he did trust her.
"She said she had a ten a.m. flight, right?" he asked in the back of the cab that flew through traffic.
He'd offered a big enough tip so the driver would take every slum alley shortcut available, shortcuts, Ian, if he had a rental car, would never have known.
Daniela held on to the seat in front of her with one hand, checked her phone with the other. "We have fifty minutes left."
"How far to the airport?" Ian asked the driver.
"Soon, senhor." As the man ran a red light, he began to sweat. He held on to the steering wheel with both hands, leaned forward, the determined look of a race car driver on his face.
They were doing well until they hit a roadblock.
"What's that?" Ian asked.
"Police, senhor. They must be looking for someone."
"We get off here." Ian paid the man, shot out of the car with Daniela, then they ran. They hurried past the police checkpoint and grabbed another cab on the other side of the barricade.
"Forty minutes left," Daniela said as they slammed in the back of the car.
Ian called Detective Santos. "Daniela and I need to get into the airport. Can you call airport security and get us a free pa.s.s?"
"You got something?"
"We suspect that baby Lila is still here in Manaus, about to be smuggled out on a plane. If a Carol Peterson tries to get on a flight, they need to stop her."
"I'll meet you at the airport," Santos said on the other end, a little out of breath, as if he was already running.
Ian had the money out and the door open by the time the cab pulled over in front of the airport. He shot out of the car while it was still moving, but somehow Daniela was already ahead of him.
But they only got as far as the first line of security, two armed guards who went for their guns when Ian and Daniela tried to push past them, ignoring the CPRU badges they held up, ignoring their shouted explanations.
So they pulled back.
"Twenty minutes," Daniela said as Ian pulled his phone again.
Santos picked up on the first ring. The sound of sirens came through the line. He was in his car. "I'll be there in twenty minutes."
"Too late. You have to tell them to let us in." Ian handed the phone to one of the guards.
The man listened. Objected. Listened. Objected again.
Then he gave the phone back to Ian and made his own call on his radio, probably to his supervisor.
He listened. Explained. Listened. Shooting Ian and Daniela p.i.s.sed-off looks the whole time, his hand back on his weapon, same as his buddy's.
Then, finally, he ended the call and stepped aside, waving them through with a long curse about foreigners.
They ran to the departures board, searched the list of dozens of flight, lucked out when the overhead speaker system announced the boarding of Carol's flight for Miami. Gate 29.
They ran.
If the plane took off before they got there...
Could an ordinary detective stop a plane from taking off? Ian wasn't about to take chances. He didn't know Brazilian jurisdictions. He grabbed his phone and called the federal commissioner they'd met in Rio when they'd first arrived in Brazil.
To his credit, the delegado didn't ask many questions. He got with the program right away.
But could he get through in time? And did he have the power they needed?