Losing It Part 16

His gaze was this physical weight pressing against my skin. My heart thudded quickly in my chest, and my breaths came shorter. I didn't want to resist. I couldn't help it. I looked.

Hold your breath and close your eyes

Distract yourself with other guys

It's no surprise, your defeated sighs

Aren't you tired of the lies?

But he wasn't looking at me. He wasn't typing, but his eyes were fixed on his computer, and he seemed... unaware. Was it just me? Was I imagining it all?

Think of everything we've missed.

Every touch and every kiss.

Because we both insist.

Resist.

No matter how close, you are always too far

My eyes are drawn everywhere you are

Suddenly, I didn't want to be here anymore. I couldn't be this close to him. I was going to go crazy. It was stupid... even more stupid than having a one-night stand would have been, but I liked him. He didn't like Shakespeare, and he rode a motorcycle, and he was my teacher... but I liked him.

I'm done. I won't ignore.

I won't pretend or resist.

I want more.

Chapter Ten

Lindsay finished out the last few chords, then stuck her tongue out and said, "Blech. Happy, Kenny?"

Cade laughed and gave a loud whoop! The crowd started clapping and whistling. I tried to raise my hands to join, but they were like lead in my lap.

I looked at Garrick, and this time he was looking at me. His eyes were dark, and when we connected, he made no effort to look away. Maybe I hadn't been imagining his stare earlier. We watched each other as the clapping died down, and for the first time in my entire life I really understood that "heart beating out of your chest" thing because it felt like there was something inside of me, desperate to get out.

Before I went crazy, I ripped my eyes away, stood, and pulled Cade up by his elbow.

"Hey, what's up?" He was so good at reading me, and I watched as his eyes went from amused to concerned. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm just tired. Can you take me home?"

"Sure, of course." He pressed a hand to my cheek like he was my mother checking my temperature. He barely took his eyes off me as he said, "Thanks for letting us share your table, Mr. Taylor. See you Wednesday."

"It's Garrick, Cade, please. You two have a good night."

Garrick looked only at Cade as he spoke, which was probably for the best. With an arm wrapped around my shoulder, I let my friend lead me out an archway on the side of the property that led to the parking lot.

I'd never been so glad to climb into a rusty car that smelled faintly of oil and cheese. Cade climbed in beside me. "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I promise, I'm just tired."

"Okay." He didn't look convinced. "Let's get you home then"

He turned the key, and nothing happened. No engine, no lights, nothing.

"Aww... s.h.i.+t."

"What?" I asked. "What does that mean?"

"It means my car is a piece of c.r.a.p."

He turned the key again, and when nothing happened he slammed a palm into the steering wheel. I pulled my legs up into the seat and laid my head against my knees.

"Hold on a sec." Cade climbed out of the car, and popped the hood. I stayed curled up in my seat trying to mentally erase the last 24 hours from my brain. Somewhere between a.n.a.lyzing every look Garrick had given me tonight and planning out what I would say and how I would act in our next cla.s.s, I must have fallen asleep.

The next thing I knew, Cade was shaking me awake, and the car was definitely still not on.

I rubbed at my eyes, and climbed from the car.

"Sorry, I guess I was even more tired than I thought."

"Listen, we can't get the car started, and we've tried everything we can think of."

My brain didn't register the "we" until the hood started lowering, and Cade was still standing beside me.

And of course, there was Garrick again. Because the world just couldn't make anything easier on me.