Bite Me_ A Love Story Part 24

"They're all gone," Tommy said. "Rivera called. The Animals got the other one. There's only Elijah on the black s.h.i.+p."

Jody put her hand to his face. "Tommy, we have to talk."

"I know," he said.

Foo Dog said, "Jody, I have no way of knowing when Tommy might, uh, expire. He could go faster than Abby was going."

"Come with me." Jody took Tommy's hand and led him into the bedroom. "I've got to show you something. You two, do not come into this room, do you hear me?"

TOMMY AND JODY.

"We can't make crazy monkey love now, Jody. They'll hear us, and we usually end up breaking all the furniture."

"You learned how to go to mist, when you were with Chet. You said you learned?"

"Yeah, that's how I got these clothes. They're stupid, aren't they?"

"Tommy, the vampire, the old one, her name was Bella, she told me something. Kiss me. Kiss me and go to mist. Don't think about it, don't stop, just melt into the kiss."

She kissed him and felt him as he faded from solid, and followed him exactly, until they were a single ent.i.ty, sharing every secret, every fear, every victory, everything, the very essence of who they were, wrapping around each other, winding through each other as each lived the other's history, as every experience they had, they had together, with comfort and joy, with abandon and pa.s.sion, without words or boundaries, and as often happens to two in love, time lost all meaning, and they might have stayed there, like that, forever.

When they finally fell out of it they were naked, on the bed, giggling like insane children.

"Wow," Tommy said first.

"Yeah," she said.

"So, Okata saved you?"

"Yeah, he needed to save someone. He had always needed to save someone."

"I know. I'm okay with it, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," she said.

"I can't do it, Jody. It's amazing, and I adore you, but I can't do it."

"I know," she said, because she did. "This is me now, Tommy. I like this, I like the night, I like the power. I like not being afraid. I was never anything until I was this. I love being this."

"I know," he said. He knew that she had always been cute, but not beautiful. Always a little dissatisfied with who she was, worried about what men, or her mother, or anyone thought of her. But she was beautiful now. Strong. She was exactly what she wanted to be.

He said, "I need the words, Jody. It's who I am."

"I know."

"I'm not a vampire. I'm a writer. I came here to be a writer. I want to use gelatinous in a sentence. And not just once, but over and over. On the roof, under the moon, in an elevator, on the was.h.i.+ng machine, and when I'm exhausted, I want to lay in my own gelatinous sweat and use gelatinous in a sentence until I pa.s.s out."

Jody said, "I don't think gelatinous means what you think it means."

"It doesn't matter. It's what I need to do. I need to write something. I need to write my little Holocaust girl story."

"I thought it was a little girl growing up in the segregated South."

"Yeah, whatever. It's important."

"You know I know this already, right?"

"I know, but that's what I'm saying, I need the words. I love you, but I need the words."

"I know," she said. "Let's go let Foo change you back into a word guy."

"And you're going to go away?"

"I have to."

"I know," he said. "You know, I think that merging might have ruined me."

"Why?"

"Because you're lying there completely naked and I don't want to s.e.x you up."

"Really?"

"Let me think about it. No, false alarm, I'm okay."

"C'mere, writer boy. Let's break some furniture."

THE RAVEN RAVEN.

"Praise Jah's sweet love for given us a fired-haired snowy biscuit," Kona said. "Welcome, me sweet deadie sistah. Welcome aboard."

"Mistress," Jody said. "Sweet deadie mistress."

"Troot, mistress. Welcome aboard."

The s.h.i.+p was a wonder of technology and luxury. Kona had lent Foo Dog his security bracelet and Foo had gone aboard and reset the security so the s.h.i.+p didn't kill anyone who set foot on board, then he and Kona had walked her through the s.h.i.+p showing her the thousand different ways it had been set to kill a person. It was an elegant, redundant death trap.

"You'll want to turn the systems back on," Foo had said. "There's a reason they had this kind of security."

Jody said good-bye and led him off the s.h.i.+p. Now that she had one of his UV lasers in one hand and a number of vacuum blood vials in the other she followed the ersatz Rastaman down to the deepest chamber of the s.h.i.+p, where Foo had not gone. They approached a wide, white, waterproof hatch with a small porthole and a heavy stainless-steel wheel securing it.

Kona hit a light switch. "That make just a wee UV, mistress. Make dat dogheart bastid turn solid so he can't sneak out."

Jody looked in the port and a face hit it with a snarl, leaving b.l.o.o.d.y spit on the thick gla.s.s.

"Well, h.e.l.lo, pumpkin. How have you been?"

The vampire snarled. It was Elijah, the old vampire who had turned her, turned them all, really, if the legend was true. But he looked like a wild animal now, naked, his fangs bared, snarling at the tiny window.

"Can he hear me?" Jody asked.

"Oh yeah, he hear. You got to tell him to go to the back of da room, ma. I'n'I can lock him back there with the second door. Like an airlock. Dat's how we feed dat old buggah."

"Go to the back of the room, Elijah. I have something I need you to do."

The vampire snarled at her.

"Okey dokey," she said, and she put on her sungla.s.ses, placed Foo's laser against the gla.s.s, and promptly blasted Elijah's right ear into ash.

He roared at her.

"Oh, I know that had to hurt. Hear that high whining sound, Elijah. That's the laser recharging. Takes about a minute. When it's done I'm going to burn off your willie unless you get your ancient a.s.s to the back of the cell." She smiled.

"Shoots, brah, she a cold heart b.i.t.c.h don't you know. You outta-shoulda do what she say, yeah?"

The old vampire backed through the inside door, snarling, and Kona worked the switch, sealing it. Then he opened the heavy outer hatch.

Jody placed the vacuum vials in the chamber, then said, "Okay, Elijah, I need you to fill these with that sweet, first-generation vampire blood."

They sealed the outer hatch, and Elijah snarled and resisted, but after having his other ear burned off, relented. Twenty minutes later Jody was holding the four vials of Elijah's blood and Elijah was lapping two quarts of tuna blood out of a stainless-steel bowl.

"He be all right," Kona said. "Dem ear heal up in minutes and he be back in the mystic fo' weeks."

"And how long to get the rest of the art supplies onto the Raven Raven?" she asked.

"It's all on board, mistress."

"Then cast off, Cap'n."

"Aye, aye, mistress."

Jody turned to Okata, who had stood silently, his eyes wide, watching the whole scene.

"These are for you," she said, holding out the vials. "I'll help you. I hope you like night scenes. You're going to have a lot of prints to make. But you'll have time."

"Okay," said the swordsman, with a smile.

25.

Being the Chronicles of Abby Normal, Failed Nosferatu, Heartbroken Day Dweller, and Deposed Backup Mistress of the Greater Bay Area Darkness My heady powers of the night are gone, my manga-haired love monkey with a most fly ride is gone, even my tail is gone-worst of all, the Countess is gone. We watched her sail off just before dawn, the Rastafarian imbecile piloting the Raven Raven out past Alcatraz as we stood there on the dock. out past Alcatraz as we stood there on the dock.

Then Rivera and Cavuto came blazing up in their s.h.i.+t-brown cop-mobile and jumped out of the car, all "We have totally watched a number of cop shows and now know how to look urgent."

And Cavuto is all, "Don't even move, missy." And he's holding a Super Soaker again. This time, a yellow one.

And Rivera is all creeping up the other side of the dock, as if we don't see him, even though the dock is only like fifteen feet wide and there's no cover and it's almost dawn.

And Tommy's like, "You guys, I should probably explain."

But before he can say anything else, I jump up and I'm all, "Rawr," at them, coming down with total monster claw hands and scary face.

And they fire up their sun jackets and totally open up on Tommy and me with the Super Soakers, until we are wet and laughing so hard that we're falling down on each other. And Marvin jumps out of the car window and runs over to us all doggie "whaaaa?" face, because he doesn't see a lot of laughing in the cadaver dog business.

And Rivera looks at Cavuto, then turns off his sun jacket, and Cavuto turns off his, then holds his squirt gun like it's just turned into a giant yellow t.u.r.d. And he's all, "Well, f.u.c.k."

And I'm all, "Oh a.s.s bear, you make me wet," which totally made us giggle some more, and Marvin ran over and started licking my face, which made me laugh even more, until finally Rivera pulled out his handcuffs and we stopped laughing.

So we explained about the old vamps being dead and how they had gotten rid of all the kitty vamps and Chet, and how everyone else had been changed back like us, and it was all good so they just needed to chill the f.u.c.k out.

And Rivera's all, "What about the black s.h.i.+p?"

And we're like, "It was owned by this eccentric bazil-lionaire, and the vamps had taken it over, but now that they were dead he was going home."

And Rivera was all, "But the Emperor said-"

And I'm all, "b.i.t.c.h, please. The Emperor of San Francisco, protector of Alcatraz, Sausalito, and Treasure Island, you mean?" Snarking hard.

And Rivera is all, "Okay, good point."

And then the Animals all pull up in two cars, and they jump out all loaded up with squirt guns and garden sprayers, and the Emperor and his dogs jump out, and they are all ready to kick a.s.s, when Rivera stopped them and 'splained and they went off to get high and the Emperor walked off down the waterfront, watching the Raven Raven sail out to the Golden Gate. sail out to the Golden Gate.

'Kayso, now the sun is up and Rivera and Cavuto realize that we are totally not vamps, so they take Marvin and climb in their s.h.i.+t-brown mobile and drive off.

So Tommy and I are just standing there, at the edge of the dock, and we can just barely see the Raven Raven out by the Golden Gate Bridge, her sails up now, all silver in the sun. out by the Golden Gate Bridge, her sails up now, all silver in the sun.

And I'm like, "We should probably go get that money the Countess hid on the roof. It's like three hundred thousand dollars." The Countess told us where it was before she left. She said she wouldn't need it.

And he's like, "Yeah. It might be a little harder to get up there now that we don't have super powers."

And I'm like, "She said there's a fire escape most of the way."

And he's all, "'Kay." And he's just staring at the s.h.i.+p.

So I'm like, "So I know you're not nosferatu anymore, but I could still be your minion, if you needed one."

And he's like, "I'm kind of broken-hearted over here."

And I'm like, "Me, too."

And he's all, "Besides, I think you've sort of advanced beyond the level of minion."

So I'm like, "I could be your girlfriend."