Refusing to Serve Me? Then Off With Your Head! Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – The Consequence Of Taking a Chomp From The Dragon’s Claw

His majesty the emperor’s Dragon Bed is s.p.a.cious and comfortable, allowing four to five people to sleep on it simultaneously.

Feng Zhao Wen is an extremely picky person.  Although he is negligent towards the task of feeding himself, that is merely the residual effect left behind by his many years in the army.  A royal crown prince who can endure times of joy and tribulations with the soldiers, compared to a royal crown prince who looks down from above, can always much more easily gain the willing and undying loyalty of subordinates.

But he has one intolerable shortcoming.  That is, his requirements towards his bedding is of a very high standard.  The pallet must be thick and st.u.r.dy, soft and flexible, while the covers must be light and smooth, able to provide warmth. Being able to take my afternoon nap upon his dragon bed, sleeping until my saliva overflows, is simply my good fortune.

It’s just that, just as I was intoxicatedly sleeping, dreaming good dreams, his majesty the emperor poked my cheek, bullying me into wakefulness.  That’s just the way it is, not a splendid experience at all.

I had not yet fully awakened, and the delicacies in my dream had not yet been placed into my mouth; at this time, I could only feel that the fellow who had disturbed my sleep was truly abominable, so I forgot a very frightening possibility.  That is, the possibility that that fellow was his majesty the emperor. The palm of my hand swung by, while I ferociously threatened: “Xiao Huang, if you keep making a ruckus,  I won’t give you any dinner!”

Actually, the referred to person is also an emperor, but merely the emperor of a vanquished nation, nothing more, so I dared to self-righteously swat him.

See, it is within my nature. This bully-the-weak-but-fear-the-strong part of me is very severe right?!

By my ear was the sound of gritted teeth: “An Yi, who did you say you won’t give dinner to?”

Thoroughly awake, as soon as I opened my eyes, I saw Feng Zhao Wen‘s approaching phoenix eyes.  With a bolt, I sat up: “Your majesty is wise! Of course it’s I who will not be given dinner!”  This palace hall’s pastry plate is never idle anyways….

Feng Zhao Wen leant a bit closer, his face faintly ashen: “All this time, you’ve been eating and sleeping with that emperor from the vanquished great Chen nation?”

Towards this reasonless anger of his, I was baffled.  Without thinking it through, I blurted out: “Aren’t I and the respectable you, your majesty, also eating and sleeping together in the same way?!”  The difference is, that thing that has occurred between us two, has never occurred with Xiao Huang.  What part of this matter deserves any anger?

I’ve eaten and slept with Xiao Huang for many years now, and have yet to see anyone say a single word about it.

“The same?” A cold laugh burst from his lips.  Unrestrainedly, he bit my ear while I miserably shrieked, “Ah ah ah ah –”

In the end, what is he throwing a temper for?

Even though my ear didn’t hurt, the feeling of being bitten is still very crummy!

It is said that when you meet an evildoer, there are two methods.  One is to launch a life-and-death struggle against him.  One is to loudly shriek, drawing the surrounding people’s attention and scaring off the evildoer. Originally, I am someone who was defeated under Feng Zhao Wen‘s hands, so it can be concluded that I lost the life-and-death struggle.  The only choice left is the latter.

Although I don’t need my pride, but I belive that his majesty the emperor is an extremely prideful person.

Sure enough, he stopped biting and immediately covered my mouth.  My eyes whirled, circling around the palace hall’s interior.  To my luck, the imperial servants who filled the palace hall had expressions of being stunned until foolish.  I opened my eyes wide, implying: if you dare to bite me again, then I’ll dare to shout!

His majesty the emperor’s phoenix eyes flashed.  I felt that this was a sign of a guilty and cowardly conscience.  Just thinking that the enemy has shown a small trace of defeat, that the circ.u.mstances were extremely in my favor, fearlessly, I pressed my advantage and chomped a mouthful from the dragon claw that covered my mouth.

I am a person who doesn’t fear pain, and thus also a person who cannot appreciate the gravity of the situation.  This one chomp descended without a single bit of hesitation, and when I finally got a taste of the dragon’s blood, Feng Zhao Wen‘s face had already become twisted beyond recognition.

Of course, his majesty the emperor couldn’t behave like me, dragging out his voice to bellow a few groans.  Instead, towards those imperial servants whose chins have fallen due to fear, he waved his hand: “All of you withdraw!”

Walking out last, Tian Bing Qing very anxiously gave his majesty the emperor’s dragon claw a few more glances, as it was still being clamped within my mouth. The friends.h.i.+p between Xiao Tian and I can be considered not bad, so seeing his face, I loosened my mouth to promise: “Don’t worry, don’t worry.  I will help his majesty the emperor bind this wound!”

Yesterday night, when my waist was tossed about by him until it nearly snapped off, I had already wanted to take this bite!

This mouthful was truly liberating ah!

Naturally, if one disregards the eerie coldness emitted by Feng Zhao Wen‘s handsome face, this time’s bite is simply the most wonderful memory, deserving of my constant reminiscing.

It’s a pity.  If I had known that biting his majesty the emperor’s dragon claw was equivalent to seeking trouble for myself, no matter what was said, I would definitely not have taken a bite.

It was only after I had settled the matter of binding Feng Zhao Wen‘s hand that my brain completely cleared up.  Facing the dragon claw which had been bound until it looked like a rice dumpling, for the first time, I became aware of the seriousness of the situation.

–Currently, I am still a lowly prisoner awaiting judgment!

This offensive thing wasn’t done by me.  It wasn’t done by me right?

Feng Zhao Wen smiled at me: “An Yi, are you in the middle of thinking up an excuse for yourself?”

When the iron blooded emperor smiles, it is able to make a person’s hair stand on end.

I foolishly watched him stretch his leg in front of me.  His deep facial features, as though they were etched by a carving knife, had a naturally cold and strict decisiveness.  In one sentence, a conviction: “No need to look for an excuse or reason.  The imperial servants of the palace hall have all seen you offend the imperial countenance.  You can just wait for death by a thousand cuts!”

Death by a thousand cuts, that is to say, slicing a piece of meat from a person’s body, as thin as the kind of meat used in hot-pot, thin enough that 999 slices may be had before the person stops breathing.  It is that kind of highly skilled, high risk execution method.  I had once suspected that those capable of using this method were all chefs from the imperial kitchen who had especially good knife skills….

At that moment, I felt like a piece of beef upon the cutting board, or perhaps mutton…..How could Feng Zhao Wen understand the suffering of a lamb as it waits to be slaughtered?  He has never had any setbacks during this half a lifetime of his, and has always been able to hold his head high……

I deeply lowered my own sinful head, endlessly ashamed simply because I have such a good mouth of teeth.  Just one bite upon his majesty the emperor and blood is spilled…..It isn’t because the respectable you, your majesty’s skin is too thin, but because my teeth is too strong ah!

Even if the respectable you, your majesty’s skin is as thick as a city wall, I can still bite it until you cry for your dad and call for your mom, until your skin is damaged and injured!

Bitterly and hatefully, I knelt in front of him, repenting: “Your majesty, the respectable you is wise, magnanimous, and generous, and will not bother bickering with this guilty one…..this guilty one was just temporarily muddled by sleep….truly just temporarily muddled by sleep……”

Using the dragon claw that was still in good shape, he stroked my head a couple of times.  Giving an enigmatic low laugh, he said: “I’ll temporarily leave this head with you then!”  Raising his voice, he shouted outside: “Bring in the meal!”

I let out a big breath.

Outside the door, Tian Bing Qing, undoubtedly listening through the cracks while pasted to the palace hall’s door, responded in a crisp and clear voice. The palace hall’s doors opened with a creak.  Four cold, four hot, a total of eight dishes were arranged onto the table.  Compared to yesterday’s, it was much more sumptuous.

I helplessly watched his majesty the emperor reach the table side in two steps and then slowly sit down.  All the while, I could only continue kneeling. Extending my neck to look towards the tabletop, the scent of meat burst forth, provoking my saliva into flowing — unexpectedly, there was red braised pork upon the table.

Sizing up his own hand, he cast me a cold glance: “Still not quickly coming over?!”

As though I had received a great amnesty, I got up as fast as the wind and threw myself over to the dining table.  The silver chopsticks had yet to be lifted, when he extended his own right hand, the one that had been bitten by me, directly in front of my face, giving a light cough.

The imperial maid standing behind him promptly stepped foward, stooping to pick the food for him.  As she was just about to pick up the silver chopsticks however, a ferocious line from him nearly scared her into crying: “Sc.u.m, who let you take action!”

Tian Bing Qing threw me a pray-for-your-own-luck expression before retreating quietly with the entire crowd of imperial servants.

This d.a.m.ned eunuch actually dared to escape!

Feng Zhao Wen indifferently said: “I’m hungry–”

If the respectable you is hungry, please eat ah!  I really wanted to give that kind of a loud shout, but meeting his whoos.h.i.+ng cold gaze, I was left with no alternative but to forcely put on a fawning smile.  Advancing forward with a bowed body, I resignedly picked and fed him his food.

That person sat, I stood.  That person ate, I watched….Is there anyone who can be considered more miserable than the current me?

Letting my thoughts run away from me, my gaze halted upon Feng Zhao Wen.

Actually, the men of great Qi are all tall and handsome, the person before my eyes especially so.  Broad shoulders, long legs, slender waist, even just peacefully sitting, he had an imposing manner which could cause others to tremble in fear, a height that was equal to mine even as I stood with a stoop. His facial features are deep, with bright eyes.  If you ignore the expression he had when looking at me, as though he were looking at a piece of meat on the cutting board, then his current table manners are cultured.  Coupled with his outstanding capabilities, he could be considered perfect.

At this moment, Feng Zhao Wen was no longer picky, obediently eating the food I fed into his mouth.  Seeing that he was seven to eight tenths  full, I was about to pick up a piece of red braised pork to eat when Tian Bing Qing‘s piercing voice rang out: “Your majesty, imperial concubine Yurequests an appearance!”

This d.a.m.ned eunuch, always sticking his head out, looking inside from the palace hall’s door.  I just knew he had bad intentions!

Feng Zhao Wen did not say he would meet her, nor did he say he didn’t want to meet her.  His phoenix eyes lightly floated over to me: “An Yi, I heard that you had a dispute with imperial concubine Yu in the peach blossom forest this morning?

En, imperial concubine Yu, from when she was small until she grew up, has always been dainty and agreeable, so every time she and I broke out in a dispute, I was always the one punished.  Indeed, it has been this long, and yet it seems that I’ve still not learned from experience. I covered my neck before answering his question with another:”Your majesty, are you wanting to protect your beauty?” Once finished speaking, I immediately regretted!

Feng Zhao Wen swallowed a mouthful of tea brought in by a little palace maid, his long eyebrows wrinkling slightly into a barely noticeable crease. I thought to myself: I’m done for! I’m done for!  His murderous intent has been stirred….death is drawing near, so it’s best if I eat at least one more piece of red braised pork!

I had just fed a piece of meat into my mouth when he again indifferently spoke: “You and imperial concubine Yu were once acquainted.  What is imperial concubine Yu‘s personal character like?”

You’re the one who shares a pillow with her.  Don’t tell me you still don’t know what her personal character is like?

The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I pushed them back down.  Giving a heehee laugh, I replied: “The beauties capable of entering your majesty’s eyes, capable of being chosen to enter the emperor’s palace, all must certainly be bright beyond compare, talented and honorable!”  Thinking a bit more, I added another line of flattery: “That imperial concubine Yu is able to wait upon your majesty, indeed, what a blessing ah!”

In addition to that, she is able to give the respectable you, your majesty, an enormous green hat to wear upon your head.  This guilty one is truly looking forward to and glad to see it happen!

He gave me an interested look: “Are you boasting about yourself? Boasting that you are also bright beyond compare, talented and honorable?”

My face flushed red and I stared at him in stupefaction…..as an emperor, you can actually be this shameless!

In the end, my grief and indignation was too difficult to cover up and I furiously yelled: “The respectable you, your majesty’s memory is lacking.  This guilty one was captured and forced to enter the emperor’s palace!”  This is intrinsically different from those beauties who cleanly bathe and most willingly deliver themselves to your door!

“Listening to this tone of yours, are you complaining that this emperor’s officials captured the wrong person?  That they should not have captured you?”

……..

As if I can refute his majesty the emperor’s remarks and conveniently criticize Yan Ping for commiting the major mistake of capturing me, right?

He watched me, giving an indifferent smile.  Having eaten his fill, it seemed that his mood was pretty good.

“Better yet, perhaps, you should wash and rinse cleanly and then deliver yourself into the emperor’s palace?”

I really really wanted to punch his majesty the emperor’s handsome face.  A punch that will blacken his eye!

–This mouth of his is way too hateful!

They say that historians wield their brush like a sword, but this mouth of Feng Zhao Wen is even more powerful than a sword.  It actually caused me to break off any reluctance I had left towards the red braised pork and caused me to hate to death that I could not tearfully leave the palace.

If I want to do that though, he first needs to agree to open the palace gates and pardon my crime.

Author’s Note:  Everyone understands…….An Yi is an opportunist.  A quick-witted person who, once an opportunity presents itself, will want to counterattack…….Unfortunately, her strength is lacking by quite a few levels……Ah, my pitiful and miserable daughter…..