Twilight Saga - Breaking Dawn Part 52

He laughed, low and gentle. "It would be hard to find someone less sad than I am now.

Impossible, I'd venture. Not many people get every single thing they want, plus all the things they didn't think to ask for, in the same day."

"Are you avoiding the question?"

He pressed his hand against my face. "You are warm," he told me.

It was true, in a sense. To me, his hand was warm. It wasn't the same as touching Jacob's flame-hot skin, but it was more comfortable. More natural.

Then he pulled his fingers very slowly down my face, lightly tracing from my jaw to my throat and then all the way down to my waist. My eyes rolled back into my head a little.

"You are soft."

His fingers were like satin against my skin, so I could see what he meant.

"And as for the scent, well, I couldn't say I missed that. Do you remember the scent of those hikers on our hunt?"

"I've been trying very hard not to."

"Imagine kissing that."

My throat ripped into flames like pulling the cord on a hot-air balloon.

"Oh."

"Precisely. So the answer is no. I am purely full of joy, because I am missing nothing.

No one has more than I do now."I was about to inform him of the one exception to his statement, but my lips were suddenly very busy.

When the little pool turned pearl-colored with the sunrise, I thought of another question for him.

"How long does this go on? I mean, Carlisle and Esme, Em and Rose, Alice and Jasper -they don't spend all day locked in their rooms. They're out in public, fully clothed, all the time. Does this... craving ever let up?" I twisted myself closer into him-quite an accomplishment, actually-to make it clear what I was talking about.

"That's difficult to say. Everyone is different and, well, so far you're the very most different of all. The average young vampire is too obsessed with thirst to notice much else for a while. That doesn't seem to apply to you. With the average vampire, though, after that first year, other needs make themselves known. Neither thirst nor any other desire really ever fades. It's simply a matter of learning to balance them, learning to prioritize and manage..."

"How long?"

He smiled, wrinkling his nose a little. "Rosalie and Emmett were the worst. It took a solid decade before I could stand to be within a five-mile radius of them. Even Carlisle and Esme had a difficult time stomaching it. They kicked the happy couple out eventually. Esme built them a house, too. It was grander than this one, but then, Esme knows what Rose likes, and she knows what you like."

"So, after ten years, then?" I was pretty sure that Rosalie and Emmett had nothing on us, but it might sound c.o.c.ky if I went higher than a decade. "Everybody is normal again?

Like they are now?"

Edward smiled again. "Well, I'm not sure what you mean by normal. You've seen my family going about life in a fairly human way, but you've been sleeping nights." He winked at me. "There's a tremendous amount of time left over when you don't have to sleep. It makes balancing your... interests quite easy. There's a reason why I'm the best musician in the family, why-besides Carlisle-I've read the most books, studied the most sciences, become fluent in the most languages.... Emmett would have you believe that I'm such a know-it-all because of the mind reading, but the truth is that I've just had a lot of free time."

We laughed together, and the motion of our laughter did interesting things to the way our bodies were connected, effectively ending that conversation.

25. FAVOR.

It was only a little while later that Edward reminded me of my priorities.

It took him just one word.

"Renesmee ..."I sighed. She would be awake soon. It must be nearly seven in the morning. Would she be looking for me? Abruptly, something close to panic had my body freezing up. What would she look like today?

Edward felt the total distraction of my stress. "It's all right, love. Get dressed, and we'll be back to the house in two seconds."

I probably looked like a cartoon, the way I sprung up, then looked back at him-his diamond body faintly glinting in the diffuse light-then away to the west, where Renesmee waited, then back at him again, then back toward her, my head whipping from side to side a half dozen times in a second. Edward smiled, but didn't laugh; he was a strong man.

"It's all about balance, love. You're so good at all of this, I don't imagine it will take too long to put everything in perspective."

"And we have all night, right?"

He smiled wider. "Do you think I could bear to let you get dressed now if that weren't the case?"

That would have to be enough to get me through the daylight hours. I would balance this overwhelming, devastating desire so that I could be a good- It was hard to think the word. Though Renesmee was very real and vital in my life, it was still difficult to think of myself as a mother. I supposed anyone would feel the same, though, without nine months to get used to the idea. And with a child that changed by the hour.

The thought of Renesmee's speeding life had me stressed-out again in an instant. I didn't even pause at the ornately carved double doors to catch my breath before finding out what Alice had done. I just burst through, intent on wearing the first things I touched. I should have known it wouldn't be that easy.

"Which ones are mine?" I hissed. As promised, the room was bigger than our bedroom.

It might have been bigger than the rest of the house put together, but I'd have to pace it off to be positive. I had a brief mental flash of Alice trying to persuade Esme to ignore cla.s.sic proportions and allow this monstrosity. I wondered how Alice had won that one.

Everything was wrapped in garment bags, pristine and white, row after row after row.

"To the best of my knowledge, everything but this rack here"-he touched a bar that stretched along the half-wall to the left of the door-"is yours."

"All of this?"

He shrugged.

"Alice," we said together. He said her name like an explanation; I said it like an expletive."Fine," I muttered, and I pulled down the zipper on the closest bag. I growled under my breath when I saw the floorlength silk gown inside-baby pink.

Finding something normal to wear could take all day!

"Let me help," Edward offered. He sniffed carefully at the air and then followed some scent to the back of the long room. There was a built-in dresser there. He sniffed again, then opened a drawer. With a triumphant grin, he held out a pair of artfully faded blue jeans.

I flitted to his side. "How did you do that?"

"Denim has its own scent just like anything else. Now... stretch cotton?"

He followed his nose to a half-rack, unearthing a long-sleeved white t-s.h.i.+rt. He tossed it to me.

"Thanks," I said fervently. I inhaled each fabric, memorizing the scent for future searches through this madhouse. I remembered silk and satin; I would avoid those.

It only took him seconds to find his own clothes-if I hadn't seen him undressed, I would have sworn there was nothing more beautiful than Edward in his khakis and pale beige pullover-and then he took my hand. We darted through the hidden garden, leaped lightly over the stone wall, and hit the forest at a dead sprint. I pulled my hand free so that we could race back. He beat me this time.

Renesmee was awake; she was sitting up on the floor with Rose and Emmett hovering over her, playing with a little pile of twisted silverware. She had a mangled spoon in her right hand. As soon as she spied me through the gla.s.s, she chucked the spoon on the floor-where it left a divot in the wood-and pointed in my direction imperiously. Her audience laughed; Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were sitting on the couch, watching her as if she were the most engrossing film.

I was through the door before their laughter had barely begun, bounding across the room and scooping her up from the floor in the same second. We smiled widely at each other.

She was different, but not so much. A little longer again, her proportions drifting from babyish to childlike. Her hair was longer by a quarter inch, the curls bouncing like springs with every movement. I'd let my imagination run wild on the trip back, and I'd imagined worse than this. Thanks to my overdone fears, these little changes were almost a relief. Even without Carlisle's measurements, I was sure the changes were slower than yesterday.

Renesmee patted my cheek. I winced. She was hungry again.

"How long has she been up?" I asked as Edward disappeared through the kitchen doorway. I was sure he was on his way to get her breakfast, having seen what she'd just thought as clearly as I had. I wondered if he would ever have noticed her little quirk, if he'd been the only one to know her. To him, it probably would have seemed like hearing anyone.

"Just a few minutes," Rose said. "We would have called you soon. She's been asking for you-demanding might be a better description. Esme sacrificed her second-best silver service to keep the little monster entertained." Rose smiled at Renesmee with so much gloating affection that the criticism was entirely weightless. "We didn't want to... er, bother you."

Rosalie bit her lip and looked away, trying not to laugh. I could feel Emmett's silent laughter behind me, sending vibrations through the foundations of the house.

I kept my chin high. "We'll get your room set up right away," I said to Renesmee.

"You'll like the cottage. It's magic." I look up at Esme. "Thank you, Esme. So much.

It's absolutely perfect."

Before Esme could respond, Emmett was laughing again-it wasn't silent this time.

"So it's still standing?" he managed to get out between his snickers. "I would've thought you two had knocked it to rubble by now. What were you doing last night?

Discussing the national debt?" He howled with laughter.

I gritted my teeth and reminded myself of the negative consequences when I'd let my temper get away from me yesterday. Of course, Emmett wasn't as breakable as Seth...

Thinking of Seth made me wonder. "Where're the wolves today?" I glanced out the window wall, but there had been no sign of Leah on the way in.

"Jacob took off this morning pretty early," Rosalie told me, a little frown creasing her forehead. "Seth followed him out."

"What was he so upset about?" Edward asked as he came back into the room with Renesmee's cup. There must have been more in Rosalie's memory than I'd seen in her expression.

Without breathing, I handed Renesmee off to Rosalie. Super-self-control, maybe, but there was no way I was going to be able to feed her. Not yet.

"I don't know-or care," Rosalie grumbled, but she answered Edward's question more fully. "He was watching Nessie sleep, his mouth hanging open like the moron he is, and then he just jumped to his feet without any kind of trigger-that I noticed, anyway-and stormed out. I was glad to be rid of him. The more time he spends here, the less chance there is that we'll ever get the smell out."

"Rose," Esme chided gently.

Rosalie flipped her hair. "I suppose it doesn't matter. We won't be here that much longer.""I still say we should go straight to New Hamps.h.i.+re and get things set up," Emmett said, obviously continuing an earlier conversation. "Bella's already registered at Dartmouth. Doesn't look like it will take her all that long to be able to handle school."

He turned to look at me with a teasing grin. "I'm sure you'll ace your cla.s.ses...

apparently there's nothing interesting for you to do at night besides study."

Rosalie giggled.

Do not lose your temper , do not lose your temper , I chanted to myself. And then I was proud of myself for keeping my head.

So I was pretty surprised that Edward didn't.

He growled-an abrupt, shocking rasp of sound-and the blackest fury rolled across his expression like storm clouds.

Before any of us could respond, Alice was on her feet.

"What is he doing? What is that dog doing that has erased my schedule for the entire day? I can't see anything! No!" She shot me a tortured glance. "Look at you! You need me to show you how to use your closet."

For one second I was grateful for whatever Jacob was up to.

And then Edward's hands balled up into fists and he snarled, "He talked to Charlie. He thinks Charlie is following after him. Coming here. Today."

Alice said a word that sounded very odd in her trilling, ladylike voice, and then she blurred into motion, streaking out the back door.

"He told Charlie?" I gasped. "But-doesn't he understand? How could he do that?"

Charlie couldn' t know about me! About vampires! That would put him on a hit list that even the Cullens couldn't save him from. "No!"

Edward spoke through his teeth. "Jacob's on his way in now."

It must have started raining farther east. Jacob came through the door shaking his wet hair like a dog, flipping droplets on the carpet and the couch where they made little round gray spots on the white. His teeth glinted against his dark lips; his eyes were bright and excited. He walked with jerky movements, like he was all hyped-up about destroying my father's life.

"Hey, guys," he greeted us, grinning.

It was perfectly silent.

Leah and Seth slipped in behind him, in their human forms-for now; both of their hands were trembling with the tension in the room. "Rose," I said, holding my arms out. Wordlessly, Rosalie handed me Renesmee. I pressed her close to my motionless heart, holding her like a talisman against rash behavior. I would keep her in my arms until I was sure my decision to kill Jacob was based entirely on rational judgment rather than fury.

She was very still, watching and listening. How much did she understand?

"Charlie'll be here soon," Jacob said to me casually. "Just a heads-up. I a.s.sume Alice is getting you sungla.s.ses or something?"

"You a.s.sume way too much," I spit through my teeth. "What. Have. You. Done?"

Jacob's smile wavered, but he was still too wound up to answer seriously. "Blondie and Emmett woke me up this morning going on and on about you all moving cross-country.

Like I could let you leave. Charlie was the biggest issue there, right? Well, problem solved."

"Do you even realize what you've done? The danger you've put him in?"

He snorted. "I didn't put him in danger. Except from you. But you've got some kind of supernatural self-control, right? Not as good as mind reading, if you ask me. Much less exciting."

Edward moved then, darting across the room to get in Jacob's face. Though he was half a head shorter than Jacob, Jacob leaned away from his staggering anger as if Edward towered over him.

"That's just a theory, mongrel," he snarled. "You think we should test it out on Charlie?

Did you consider the physical pain you're putting Bella through, even if she can resist?