Havemercy. Part 6

He marched off down the hallway to the tune of a m.u.f.fled crash, followed by a series of undignified hoots and hollers that sounded like nothing so much as an entire band of wild chimpanzees let loose from the zoo.

I thought about calm things: the surface of a lake on a windless day, the grant money I would receive for my studies upon completing this a.s.signment. The knowledge that, even if they killed me, I was still much, much smarter.

There was another scream.

aMadeline!a aI bet itas Niall and Compagnon,a said Balfour confidentially. aTheyave had this big secret project going for weeks now. Papier-mch. I guess they ran out of paper.a aOh,a I said, because I couldnat think of anything else to say.

Balfour nodded. aIt was going to be a scale model of the city, only Compagnon gave it these, you know, enormous b.r.e.a.s.t.s, so now itas just a misshapen sort of woman. Sheas in the common rooma"not the private one, but the other one.a aAnd thatas . . . Madeline?a I asked, with a sense of looming dread.

aYes,a said Balfour. aSheas kind of like our mascot.a

CHAPTER FOUR.

ROYSTON.

If asked, I couldnat have pinpointed the exact time or day when Halas tradition of reading to me in the evenings became reversed, so that I was the one telling the stories, but it had happened. Some nights we would retire to the drawing room anda"William having bragged to his siblings both younger and oldera"I would find myself seated hearthside, speaking to a rapt semicircle of bright, dark eyes as my brotheras wife drifted in and out, mostly to atcha noisily at the most violent parts. I prided myself on only ever having made Emilie cry once, and I thought perhaps that if William hadnat jeered at her so mercilessly, the whole mess might have been avoided entirely.

It was during these stories that I was most aware of Hal, the open wonderment on his face, the careful attention he paid to my words, as though I were one of the romans to which he was so devoted. A folly of mine perhaps, but it inspired me to find somewhere inside myself the parts that hadnat yet been ground down to rubble and compost by the country, and I was glad of it.

There was little news from the city, though I freely admitted to my friends in written word that the fault was mine for allowing the lines of communication to dry up. A colleague of mine from the Basquiat wrote that there was some great uproar in the Dragon Corps, that they were being made to take etiquette cla.s.ses. I immediately wrote to the only touchstone I had ever cared to have among the Esaras colorful band of self-important animals: Chief Sergeant Adamo.

The letter Iad got back confirmed everything Iad been told, and what was morea"the man doing the teaching was a student barely out of the aVersity.

He seems very clever, Adamoas letter read. And I think heall do all right so long as he survives the first few weeks, which he might not, and so long as heas quiet enough that Rook forgets him completely when the lessons arenat on. I donat really know what thaEsaras thinking having him stay here, of all places, but itall work out or it wonat.

Everythingas going swimmingly in the country, I hope. Donat go so long without writing again, or Iall have to break thaEsaras rules myself and fly upcountry way to pluck you out of there myself.

At the very idea of this I laughed so long and loud that Hal came to investigate. The letters from home, coupled with my newfound audience for what stories Iad collected, had made a world of difference in what I no longer viewed as the most terrible of exiles.

And then, of course, there was Hal.

He was, I liked to tell myself, the ubiquitous essence of that part of the countryside I still couldnat bring myself to hate. One of my mentors had told me that in order to be embraced by Thremedon, a man must cast aside all other lovers and take the city as his one and onlya"for then her secrets would be spread wide open, as in a card trick or a wh.o.r.ehouse. It seemed a very apt theorya"though with my proclivities, I was required to modify the a.n.a.logy somewhat.

Yet at the same timea"though Thremedon was always my other lover, as it werea"and as much as I hated to admit it, the country was my home. Iad been raised not in Nevers but in Tonnerre, on its border, and no matter how much time Iad spent learning the city as I would have learned a lovera"and no matter how I yearned for that other lover during my exilea"no man could ever completely expunge all trace of his first lover from his heart. I, too, was a victim of this pattern. In my own way, I suppose I still yearned to be accepted by this place I couldnat quite bring myself to accept in return.

If Iad been a philosopher and not a Margrave, I would have solved this problem for myself already. Or, at least, Iad have owned a better vocabulary for grappling with it privately. Perhaps that would have a.s.suaged my bruised ego somewhat.

Unfortunately, the truth of the matter remained: I had conflated Hal with something taken from my own needs, and I found myself seeking out his company for reasons I should not have allowed myself to act upon or even to indulge in thought. His approval meant everything to mea"the way he wrapped his arms around his knees and held them tight during the most frightening moments in my memoirs, or insisted on sitting on the floor at my feet, even when there were ample chairs for him to make use of. In his eyes I saw admiration and fascination both, as if he wished to read me like a book. And Hal, I knew, was a voracious reader.

It sparked something untoward in me, some answering desire to be read. He had a sharp mind and was cleverer than he thought he was, than the country had allowed him to be. Still, it was hardly in selflessness that I offered him all the knowledge I had that was fit for more innocent ears, hardly in selflessness that I endeavored to keep him near to me whenever I could.

To measure how impossible I had truly become, how stubborn and how self-involved, one need only take this for an example: I sought him out myself, though I always made it seem as if I hadnat. After his cold had ended I even mentioned our usual walks by the Nevers, more than once, though I tried with the coy neediness of a schoolboy to seem thoroughly disinterested in whether he could spare the time for me or not.

Hal wasnat the sort of creature suited to such games. I didnat think he had any idea I was playing them.

What did I want? I was certain that I wanted somethinga"I knew it because Iad found once more the will to rise and bathe and knock the dust out of my own curtains, to demand some servantas punctuality to air the choking smell of dust out of the entire rooma"but it was there that my self-awareness ceased to be useful. I had no doubt I was protecting myself from the nature of my eagerness to please and to be favored above all other members of the household. This last wasnat very hard, for he was treated quite abominably, despite his tenuous kins.h.i.+p to my brotheras wife. I donat mean that he was in any way overtly abused. It was simply that most pretended he wasnat there, and while he seemed not to mind overly much, it was nevertheless true that every time I made overtures or reached out to engage him in conversation his warm eyes, the pale blue color of a dreaming sky, lit up immediately. Now that I was no longer steeped in my own self-pity I could recognize the signs at once. This was an affectionate young man who was being starved for warmth.

He was also clever, and being starved of something to test his cleverness against. This, I supposed, was the reason for all the reading he dida"for the way he tore into new books the way desert sands swallowed any and all water for which they were so burningly parched.

It was once again selfish of me, but I loved to watch him read. He had nimble, long fingers and he turned the pages of his romans with a trembling reverencea"trembling, I realized quickly enough, because he was keeping a necessary hold on himself, that he wouldnat become so overeager as to tear a single page. He read as he walked; read in small, snug corners of every room; read outside in the branches of trees and tucked up against tree trunks. When he was at the table he wished he was reading. Only when he was at my feet and listening to my evening stories did that wistful expression fade from his face. Only then was the same hunger he usually reserved for the secrets between the pages fixed on someone alive and breathing in this world.

I admit freely that I lived to be sole proprietor of that expression. I dreamed of it at night and waited all day long to see it again.

Was this so selfish of me? Perhaps it was. Yet, in all honesty, I kept the children entertained and kept William from going mad during his confinement, which also kept the burden from resting solely upon Halas shoulders. The Mme even fainted less. In my own way, I was useful in a house that still didnat entirely forgive my presence; and I was glad, also, to be wanted, by someone. It was a small thing, but it gave me a purpose, even if Iad never fancied myself the country bard before.

One evening, William asked me, aAre those stories all true, Uncle Royston?a aAs true as any story can be,a I replied with a smile.

At that moment Hal caught my eyes, his own bright and wide. I understood, with a sudden and fierce thunderclap of epiphany, what it was I had cobbled together and pinned all my hopes to.

I excused myself from the room at once, worrying Emilie and troubling Hal and sending William into a fit of a tantrum in which he made Etienneas nose bleed all over the brand-new rug my brotheras wife had just procured for the sitting room.

If we were to go about labeling things, then I will readily admit that was selfish.

Sometime later, I heard a tentative knock on my bedroom door. I knew whose knock it was; Iad memorized it. How I hadnat realized before the extent and the particular quality of my feelings, I didnat know. I was an idiot.

aCome in,a I said. Even in the depths of condemning myself, I couldnat keep Hal out. I simply didnat want to.

He entered the room and closed the door very quietly behind him, perhaps to keep the light from the hallway from bothering me. There he stood, his back against the door and his hands behind him, still holding the doork.n.o.b, I presumed, and worrying his lower lip as he so often did. My heart made a strange revolution in my chest. I was sunk, as surely as I lay there.

aAre you feeling unwell?a Hal asked at last, when the silence was too long and too thick for either of us to bear a second more. aI thought perhaps, since you left so suddenlya"a aSomething of a headache,a I replied lightly. I hated myself not simply for worrying him, but for lying to him nowa"as if it made even an inch of difference.

aOh,a said Hal. Then he nodded, as though this were a perfectly appropriate reason for leaving as abruptly as I had, rather than merely excusing myself as any gentleman would have done in my place.

He would accept any answer I gave him, I felt certain. Except for the truth.

I had a fleeting, foreign wish for my old fog of indifference. Then I might have something at least to s.h.i.+eld me from this awareness, new and raw. It was rather akin to having a headache, in that every movement seemed magnified, but my affliction wasa"for mercy or tragedya"centered only and irrevocably around Hal.

The doork.n.o.b clicked as he let go of it and came forward, hands clasped still behind his back.

aWould you like me to read to you?a His brow creased in a rare frown. aNo, I suppose that wouldnat help, would it?a It would help neither my fictional headache nor what truly ailed me. And, as selfish as I was, I could not stomach the idea of lying in bed while Hal read to me as though nothing had changed.

aNo,a I agreed, too quickly for manners, too quickly to stop the hurt from flas.h.i.+ng across Halas face, visible as print on the page. I felt like a brute, protecting myself at the expense of his ego, but trapped here as I was in the house, the country, I could think of no other way. I would not indulge in the same mistake twice.

aWould you like the drapes shut, then?a Halas face had a curious look to it, wary and uncertain.

I realized then what it looked like, and that his concern revolved around the idea that I might have given up once more on life in the country at large and decided to shutter myself away. How could I explain that it was quite the opposite? The idea itself was laughable. Only I wasnat laughing.

aThatas all right,a I said at length, then sat up straighter so as to rea.s.sure him. aItas only a headache.a aOf course,a he said, relief pa.s.sing smooth as gla.s.s over his face. Hal, I understood, had quite simply never been given cause to hide his emotions from anyone. It was rather a dangerous skill to be without. aWell, youall call if you need anything? There are always servants abouta"or me.a aIam sure it will be gone come morning,a I said, no longer in control of my own lie nor even clear on the good it could possibly be doing. After all, I would doubtless wake up in the morning exactly as I was now, lest I took as desperate measures as the men in the historically inaccurate books Hal had been reading in earlier months: which was to say, cut my own heart from my chest and seal it away for safekeeping.

aI hope so,a he confided. aOtherwise, William will be inconsolable. And, well, youave seen him when heas inconsolable. It tends to lead to bloodshed.a I nodded and felt that this would be an appropriate place for an apology about the rug. aYou may give him my deepest regrets,a I told Hal instead. aAnd inform him that no one was eaten by ravenous sea creatures.a aThat will disappoint him,a said Hal.

aHeall get used to it,a I said, too coldly again. It wasnat right or fair of me; I knew that Hal was made for no such pretenses, and that a good man, a better man, would have been perfectly clear with him.

There was a short silence, wherein I could see Hal struggle for a clear direction to take the conversation from there. I should have warned him that it was impossible. In the country, as I might well have known, there were many trees to become tangled in.

aAre you quite sure that thereas nothing I can get for you, Margrave Royston?a The mere fact that Iad grown less self-indulgent, dragged myself from a mire of self-pity, did not mean that my brotheras request had changed, or that Hal came to see me out of anything resembling his own volition. Remembering this fact made things a little easier, like digging oneas nails into the palm of oneas hand to ward off distraction, or the advances of those with mind-reading Talents. A bit perverse, perhaps, but it was a small and necessary pain, there for me to call out of the ether whenever I so happened to need the reminder.

aYes, Hal,a I a.s.sured him. And then, buoyed by some fool capricious impulse, I looked at him directly. aYou neednat address me that way, in case you havenat noticed. The rest of the family certainly doesnat bother.a aOh,a he said. The tips of his ears went a helpless, bright pink so that I had to look away. aI only thoughta"Iam not true family, see.a aBe that as it may,a I said patiently.

I was not normally a patient man; it was the reason Iad turned down a position at the aVersity Stretch when theyad offered it. Professors had to enjoy the gift of teaching and I was no teacher. I was too impatient, too scattered and self-interested. I wanted nothing to do with someone elseas ideas and wanted to share none of my own. This curious new generosity was a change anda"despite the contempt I held for the country and its own fear of progressa"it affected me.

aAll right,a he replied after a spell, and I thought he sounded pleased, though I couldnat bring myself to look and see.

HAL.

The night I learned for certain of Margrave Roystonas reason for coming to stay with us started just the same as any other night, with no warning signs nor any indication that it was to be something out of the ordinary.

Iad prepared the children for dinner as best I could. Earlier that day, William celebrated his release from captivity by immediately finding the largest and squis.h.i.+est mud puddle left by the rains; head used it to spark a war between himself and any of the others who came near, myself included. By the time wead all got clean again, wead run short on hot water, and that put Mme in a foul temper.

Mme was in a foul temper often enough these days, though she was fainting less. I came upon her arguing with the chatelain in the study about influencesa"specifically, the sort of influence the Margrave was having on the children and William in particular, who now proclaimed to anyone who asked that he was going to move to the city just as soon as he was able. Head also picked up one or two words that had slipped into the stories in the heat of the moment, words that caused our cook to chase him about the house with a wooden spoon.

In general, though, I felt that things had been running more smoothly since Margrave Royston had taken it upon himself to occupy the childrenas fancy. I myself enjoyed the help as much as I did the stories, and would have been very sorry if anyone had convinced him to spend his time otherwise.

The children marched downstairs in a queue to the dining room, which I privately thought of as the finest room in the house. It was certainly one of the largest, paneled all in fine, dark wood with high-backed chairs and a long, rectangular table of exactly the same shade. The servants polished the table daily, whether we were using it or not, so that the wood always had an exacting gleam to it, as though it was not wood at all but marble or gla.s.s. I knew it couldnat compare to the likes of what they had in the city, but I thought it very fine, all the same.

aAny news from Thremedon?a The chatelain seemed relieved to have found that the city was no longer a subject taboo with his brother, and he asked after it often now; though whether he was truly curious or if it was only a peace offering, I couldnat tell.

aWell,a said Royston, and his eyes crinkled at the corners the way they did whenever he was about to relay something particularly amusing. I leaned forward on my elbowsa"too eager as always, but then no one was looking at me. aIt seems the Esar has come up with a particularly unique way of dealing with our airmen and the diplomat from Arlemagne all in one.a Mme took a very long drink from her winegla.s.s. She didnat seem to like talking about the city very much.

aOut with it then,a said the chatelain, who had no patience for the way his brother paused in order to build suspense.

Margrave Royston put down his fork and smiled so widely that it still looked rather foreign on his face. aTheyare calling it asensitivity training.aa aWhat?a The chatelainas broad face went slack with shock.

The children broke out in a smattering of laughter, though whether they truly understood or whether they were laughing at their fatheras expression, I didnat know.

aItas a stroke of genius really,a said the Margrave, fingers toying idly with the stem of his winegla.s.s. aIt humiliates the Dragon Corps without any blood drawn, which I think the diplomat was quite keen on initially; and perhaps they might even learn something from the whole ordeal though I sincerely doubt it.a aOh, Arlemagne,a Mme said, in a tone I thought rather strange. aThey never do know what they want over there, do they?a There was a short pause before the Margrave answered. aWell, I donat know about that.a aTheyave certainly had some problems in the past,a said the chatelain, in support of Mme. He smiled jovially, and refilled his gla.s.s with wine. aEspecially after their king took ill.a aThis new one is completely useless,a agreed Mme. She dabbed at her mouth neatly with a napkin and gestured for a servant to take her bowl of soup. aThe prince, or whatever they insist on calling him.a aNow,a said the Margravea"and head told me not to address him as such but remembering was hard, especially in my own head. His voice came out a little colder than it had a second ago, and I had the unexpected sensation of a sudden frost. aNow, thatas not entirely fair. The heir apparent has many fine leaders.h.i.+p qualities.a aOh Iam sure he does,a said Mme, her expression as sharp and brittle as gla.s.s. aBut that wasnat exactly what we were talking about, now was it?a aMarjorie.a The chatelain said his wifeas given name, quick and quiet like a rebuke. It was obvious that shead said something rude, though for the life of me I didnat understand what.

aYes, Royston,a she went on. aPerhaps you should tell us of the enormous . . . talents the Arlemagnes possess.a Mme had partaken of rather a lot of wine. I could tell from the way she spoke, kneading the words in her mouth as if they were dough.

aBrother,a said Royston, and in his voice I thought I could hear the rumbling of falling rock in the Ke-Han tunnels, atell your wife to hold her tongue, else I may lose my temper.a She laughed, high and shrill, and I found myself wis.h.i.+ng she would be quiet, or that the chatelain at least would quiet her. I stole a glance at the children to find William watching the Margrave with an eager sort of antic.i.p.ation, while Etienne and Alexander stared at their uncle with a mixture of horror and awe. Emilieas hair hung in her eyes, the way it did when she was trying not to cry.

aWhat are you going to do? Blow me to smithereens, perhaps?a Mme asked pointedly. There were two spots of color rising high on her cheeks, and she was trembling. Despite the poor const.i.tution she spoke so often of having, she seemed in no danger of fainting now.

aThat would be against the law,a the Margrave replied. His voice seemed to have two layers, the external worn thin to reveal the one beneath, which was sharp and unpleasant as a row of crocodile teeth. aIam quite sure that I neednat go to such extreme measures to shut your mouth.a aBrother,a the chatelain warned.

aThis is an outrage,a Mme pressed; a moment later shead slammed her winegla.s.s down on the table so vehemently I was stunned when it didnat break. aWeave given you our home, our hospitalitya"a aAnd it has been truly hospitable,a the Margrave replied, on the edge of a sneer.

aHow dare you?a Mme said, her lips trembling. aHow dare he!a aI merely feel,a the Margrave countered neatly, athat you should keep your mouth shut when you know so very little about the subject at hand.a aI know this much!a The Mme had never struck me as frightening beforea"inflexible, yes, and often selfish, but never so unforgiving or unkinda"but now I found myself drawing away from her, wrapping my arms around Emilie and letting her hide her face against my shoulder. aYou did a disservice to your countrya"betrayed your king by taking up with that fool in the first placea"and because you did, why we . . . we might have gone to war over it! Itas unnatural, and yet youa"you had the audacity to be so indiscreeta"a aMarjorie,a the chatelain almost shouted.

He never called Mme by her first name. In the course of five minutes, head used it twice.

I hardly dared, but suddenly I found myself looking at the Margrave in the midst of all this. His face was white as a ghostas, his jaw clenched, his eyes fiercely dark. When I combined what I knew of the Margrave as he was now with his stories from the past, I wondered if he wouldnat set something on fire or use his Talent out of anger.

Surely he wouldnat, I told myself.

Emilie was on the verge of crying. I stroked her hair.

aMadam,a the Margrave ground out in a voice like sharpening knives, athis may come as an immense surprise to you, considering how highly you esteem your intellect, yet I must confess there is a great deal in this world about which you know less than nothing. I say aless thana because you are informed incorrectlya"and being both tenacious and pompous, you cling to this misinformation as a pit bull to the bone, which makes you far more dangerous and contemptible than even the stupidest of men.a After that, no one said anything for a very long minute. I could hear the sounds Mme made as she searched for something to say, her breaths rasping; I could almost hear the moment when the entirety of the Margraveas insult had sunk in at last.

Then everything happened at once, the chatelain and Margrave Royston and Mme shouting at one another; the Mmeas winegla.s.s being knocked over; the chatelain pounding the table with his fist over and over until it threatened to split along the grain; and above all that, a crackling tension that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end and which came from where the Margrave was seated, perfectly still. I knew at once that it was his Talent, and whether he was searching to employ it or to check it, I wasnat sure.

aOnly an idiot,a Mme was screaming hoa.r.s.ely, awould be so incompetent as toa"a aThe Arlemagnes are d.a.m.ned s.h.i.+rkers, thatas what they are,a the chatelain was bellowing over all that. as.h.i.+rkers of responsibility, dogs in a fight, cowards and b.a.s.t.a.r.ds all, and I canat say, Royston, I canat say as I approve of any of your d.a.m.n choices, but thisa"a aIs too much!a Mme barked. She clutched at her breast. aTo come herea"to poison our childrena"to allow them to wors.h.i.+p you, when you are no more than a commona"a aAs I said, Madam, I have no further use for you or a single one of your ample prejudices,a the Margrave interrupted smoothly. aI should like to think that you and your ilk are the reason most of Volstov has gone to p.i.s.s in the past four years, and the reason why I fled the countryside in the first place. You epitomize everyone Iave ever hateda"every fluttering, close-minded maiden aunt with no beauty of feature or soula"a aNow see here, d.a.m.n it,a the chatelain snarled. aRoyston, you a.s.s, if you hadnat noticed, sheas my wifea"a aIam very sorry, brother,a the Margrave replied. aThat was an unfortunate choice you made, and itas an unfortunate fate you suffer. Iad not even wish such a terrible thing on the Ke-Hana"a aAll this from a man who bedded an Arlemagne prince!a The Mme spat on the floor; William, in what I a.s.sume was uncomfortable horror, barked out a dreadful laugh. Neither his parents nor his uncle seemed to notice. aIad say, of everyone here, youare the disgrace to our country, Margrave,a the Mme went on, inexorable. aAs evidenced by the Esaras all-too-lenient punishment. If you ask me, it should have been far worse!a It was then that the Margrave exploded the dining-room table.

I believe, even provoked as he was and shaking with rage, he was still in enough control of himself not to harm any of us with the outburst of raw magic; the explosion was oddly contained, as if some invisible protective dome existed between us and the blast. Splintering, burning wood skittered underneath our chairs and to the four walls of the dining room like some sort of fireworks display. As quickly as the fire began it was doused, and all we were left with was a singed rug and pieces of table everywhere.

Emilie was too shocked even to cry. Etienne was gripping Alexander by the arm, and Williamas eyes were wide with disbelief. I, too, felt myself staring.

Once again, the Margrave had rendered us speechless.

In the silence that followed, the Margrave said, very quietly, aIall pay for that.a aYes,a the chatelain replied, clearing his throat. aWell. See that you do, brother.a The Mme fainted; Emilie immediately recovered from her shock and began to bawl. It was into the ensuing chaos that William asked, aWill you do the china cupboard next, Uncle Roy? Mama always says itas so ugly!a aTo your room, William!a the chatelain commanded.

While I attempted to round up the children and lead them out of the dining rooma"which appeared now to be more of a war zone than anything elsea"I saw the Margrave sink into his chair and put his head in his hands. I feared the fog would descend around him; I feared Mmeas tongue had been too sharp. I feared a great many things, but Emilie was tugging on my sleeve, desperate to leave this battlefield.

Instead of doing anything I would have liked to do, I ushered the children out into the hallway, where the servants had gathered to stare, openmouthed, through the door and at the scene before them.

aWould you?a I asked the cook.

aOf course,a the cook said, gathering Emilie close. aCome now. Tut, whatas she crying for, then?a I turned back to the dining room. One of Mmeas maids was kneeling on the floor beside her, waving smelling salts underneath her nose and trying, in vain, to rouse her. Now and then, Mme would let out a trembling groan; shead stir, her eyes would flutter, and shead fall back into deathly stillness. Shead done this before. It only meant she was scared and unhappy and faced with something she didnat understand and couldnat predict. By morning shead be fine, if complaining of a headache.

The chatelain was unexpectedly quiet, staring at the tragedy his dining-room table had become.

aIt was a very nice table,a he said, at length. Mme took that moment to let out another groan, and I saw the Margrave wince.

aIall buy you another,a he repeated. aMy apologies for the mess, brother.a aWell,a the chatelain said. aMarjorie has that effect on even the best of us.a The Margrave returned his head to his hands, and I took that opportunity to step back over the threshold and into the madness. When I rested my hand on the Margraveas shoulder, he stirred and looked back at me, and did not smile.

What Iad learned was in some ways very much what Cooke and the others had been gossiping about beforea"the rumors that had preceded the Margrave and made the servants so uncomfortable. There must have been more to it than that, however; I could tell as much by the unhappy slump of the Margraveas back.

aWould you,a I said carefully, alike me to accompany you back to your room?a aOh,a he said, and didnat seem able to answer my question.

aItas just that I think you might benefit from some company,a I said, more quietly, so that only he could hear. I hoped that intimated what I thoughta"that no man should be left alone with such thoughts as were obviously haunting hima"but I couldnat tell if he was pleased or displeased to hear my motives.

aIave made something of a mess,a he said, still refusing to answer me.

aIt would appear so,a I replied. I looped both my arms under one of his and helped him to his feet. aThe servants will look after it.a aHal,a he began.

aCome,a I said. aYou wonat even have to talk to me. We can sit about in silence, if youad like, or I can read to you. Anything youad like.a The look he gave me then was one Iad remember for the rest of my life. aWell,a said the Margrave. aAll right.a I took him upstairs. I thought it strange that the Margrave, after such a display of power, could need to be led anywhere, but he didnat make any effort to lose me. I myself was glad of it, because I had the uncomfortable feeling that Margrave Royston had transformed into someone else again before my very eyes, and I wanted him in sight until Iad got it pinned down.

At some point during the tenure of his long and difficult stay at Castle Nevers, Iad somehow convinced myself that I knew the Margrave, knew what sort of a man he was by the way he interacted with the children and with me. The stories he told were fascinating, and Iad never heard the like, but until tonight they had remained only thata"stories. Now, with the memory of the dining-room table fresh in my mind, it seemed as though the things Iad known about the Margrave were only a very small part of a much greater whole.

It was as though a character from one of my romans had leapt from the pages, full-blown and hale. I could scarcely look at him, I found, and not for lack of wanting to.

aI should apologize,a he said, when we reached the landing. His voice was quiet, private, as though he were still half-lost in thought.