Death's Daughter Part 22

"C'mon! That was the most erotic thing I've ever experienced in my entire life, and you're really gonna sit there and tell me it was nothing to you?"

Daniel smiled, showing his teeth like a cat about to launch itself at its prey.

"Nope. It was nothing for me."

"Liar!" I said. "I can tell you're lying by the way you're smiling at me." He shrugged, but didn't say anything-which totally drove me up the wall.

"You were reading my mind. How much more intimate can you be?" I stopped, covering my mouth with my hand-as if if that could stop him from reading my mind again. "Wait a minute, can you that could stop him from reading my mind again. "Wait a minute, can you still still read my mind?" read my mind?"

He laughed.

"You're a riot, kid."

I glared at him and picked up a handful of sand threateningly. I did not not like being called "kid." like being called "kid."

"Truce, wildcat," he said in supplication, but I could still detect a hint of laughter underneath his words. "No, I can't read your mind anymore. It was only because we were coalescing coalescing."

"Coalescing . . . ?"

"I merged our bodies into one so that we would absorb the poison between us. The effects are less p.r.o.nounced that way, but we're both gonna have a h.e.l.l of a headache for the next few hours."

"Oh." So, that that was why my brain was tuned to was why my brain was tuned to The Jackhammer Symphony Hour. The Jackhammer Symphony Hour.

I watched Daniel as he put his shoes and socks back on, his head bent so that a little bit of hair fell forward and covered his eyes. Okay, if what he was saying was true, then he had, in fact, just saved my life. Which went against everything I'd been thinking about him up until now. But the burning question was . . . why? why?

Why had he saved my life when letting me get poisoned would've helped helped him get closer to attaining his goal. I mean, with me out of the way, he could usurp Father's job and be done with it. It was almost like he was going him get closer to attaining his goal. I mean, with me out of the way, he could usurp Father's job and be done with it. It was almost like he was going against against what was in his best interest. what was in his best interest.

I couldn't help myself. I had to know what he was doing.

"Why? Why did you save me if you want my father's job? Aren't I just an obstacle in your way?"

He looked back up at me, shrugged.

"Look, if I hadn't gotten to you in time, you'd have been lost out here, paralyzed for the rest of your existence-or until someone who wasn't nearly as nice as me decided to fix you. And believe it when I say that that that would be a fate much worse than death. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy." would be a fate much worse than death. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy."

I nodded, still not sure that I believed him, but also not sure that I didn't didn't believe him. The whole thing was very confusing, and I found myself completely flummoxed by my inability to hate the Devil's protege for totally s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up my life and making my family think I was trying to cheat them out of their immortality. believe him. The whole thing was very confusing, and I found myself completely flummoxed by my inability to hate the Devil's protege for totally s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up my life and making my family think I was trying to cheat them out of their immortality.

"Thank you for saving me-"

He smiled.

"You can call me Daniel. I promise I won't tell anyone we're on a first-name basis."

"Thank you . . . Daniel. I appreciate you saving me from 'a fate worse than death,' but after what you and the Devil tried to pull, you should've just left me out here to rot."

"After what what?"

I sighed. I actually liked the big, dumb jerk-even if he was a liar.

"You and the Devil have been conspiring to pin my father's kidnapping on me and have me thrown in jail. And apparently, I have a whole bank account full of cash to prove it."

Daniel looked at me blankly, and once again I wanted to believe that he was not not guilty as charged. I was starting to develop a soft spot for the guy, and it had absolutely nothing to do with magic. This was guilty as charged. I was starting to develop a soft spot for the guy, and it had absolutely nothing to do with magic. This was bad. bad.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Daniel said crossly. "There may be other things I'm guilty of in this situation, but selling you out isn't one of them. Besides, the Devil's a tight wad who wouldn't spend a penny unless he'd been guaranteed at least least double on his return." double on his return."

"Then why are there ten million buckaroos in my bank account? Explain that, buster," I said, my face turning red with anger. "Everyone thinks the Devil paid me to get rid of my father, and it's not fair!"

Before I even realized what was happening, I was crying again, my face all scrunched up and wet with hot tears. It was totally embarra.s.sing.

"Even if I wanted wanted to be a mortal, I would to be a mortal, I would never never do anything to hurt my family like that- do anything to hurt my family like that-and I've never been very proactive anyway. It's kind of against my nature; I've always preferred the 'run and hide' option," I wailed, my voice all wonky with emotion. I've never been very proactive anyway. It's kind of against my nature; I've always preferred the 'run and hide' option," I wailed, my voice all wonky with emotion.

"I'm a complete and total coward . . . and that's just a fact."

Daniel reached out and took my hand-his was much bigger than mine, and very warm. It was kind of nice that he was trying to comfort me, even if it was was all a lie intended to disarm and bamboozle me. all a lie intended to disarm and bamboozle me.

"It's gonna be okay, Calliope."

Every now and then I think we need someone to give our hand a squeeze, tell us it's all gonna be okay . . . regardless of whether they're telling us the absolute truth or not. It's like some weird secret that all of humanity-and nonhumanity-share: We need need other people, plain and simple. other people, plain and simple.

Daniel gave my hand a squeeze, then let it go. My hand felt cold from the loss.

After I'd wiped my nose on the back of my hand for like the fiftieth time, Daniel said, "You're not a coward."

"I'm not?" I replied uncertainly.

"You're anything but but a coward." a coward."

That was a cheering thought. Although I didn't really believe it was true. was a cheering thought. Although I didn't really believe it was true.

"Look," he said, "I have a proposition for you. I know that we don't really know each other very well. Yet."

"Uh-huh." I nodded, wondering where this this was going. was going.

"But I like you. I think you're smart, and pretty, and . . . nice."

"You make me sound like a horse. Why don't you mention how well I trot," I said. He gave me a weak smile.

"You have a lovely trot."

Which made me laugh out loud, confusing him. I noticed that when he was confused, he wrinkled his brow. So cute. So cute.

"What I'm trying to say is: Let's partner up. You and I against all the powers of Heaven and h.e.l.l-even the Devil-sounds pretty good, huh? I really think we'd make an excellent team, Calliope. What do you you think?" he finished, a winning smile so etched into his face that I wondered how long he'd been practicing it-and the speech-in the mirror. think?" he finished, a winning smile so etched into his face that I wondered how long he'd been practicing it-and the speech-in the mirror.

Now I was confused.

"Partner up how how?"

He reached for my hand again, and my stomach lurched. I had less than zero experience with attractive men suddenly grabbing my hand and looking intensely into my eyes at the same time. I felt like a game show contestant who'd just won the big prize only to realize they had to pay taxes on it. It was unsettling.

"Obviously, only one one of us could be the actual President of Death, Inc., but I promise to take into consideration anything you have to say about the day-to-day running of the company." He continued on like I was a deaf-mute without any kind of opinion at all. "And I also promise to-" of us could be the actual President of Death, Inc., but I promise to take into consideration anything you have to say about the day-to-day running of the company." He continued on like I was a deaf-mute without any kind of opinion at all. "And I also promise to-"

"Wait a minute," I said, yanking my hand out of his grasp. "What're you really saying here? Because it sounds sounds like you're saying that we should get-" like you're saying that we should get-"

Daniel leaned forward and planted his lips on mine, silencing me. He took my shock as a sign that it was a-okay for him to continue mauling me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and pulled me closer to him. As nice and heart jarring as the kiss was, I really wasn't in any mood to be molested against my will. I took the next opportunity that came my way to lean forward and slam my fist into his crotch. In less than a minute, I was free of his unsolicited embrace and he was doubled over in fierce pain, holding his nuts protectively.

It was weird how this this time his kiss wasn't horrible tasting at all. time his kiss wasn't horrible tasting at all. Just Just one one more thing I don't understand. more thing I don't understand.

"What did you do that that for?" he yelled at me, his voice half an octave higher than his normal register. for?" he yelled at me, his voice half an octave higher than his normal register.

I glared at him, furious. Was he so completely dense that he didn't realize I wasn't in the market for an arranged marriage with the enemy?

"How dare you act like I'm the jerk when you were the one trying to seduce me so you could steal my father's job!" I yelled back.

"I was trying to help you out, you idiot! If we got married, I'd have a legitimate claim to the t.i.tle and and your family could keep their immortality," he screamed in return. "You think I your family could keep their immortality," he screamed in return. "You think I want want to marry you? I'm only trying to do what's best for the world . . . because to marry you? I'm only trying to do what's best for the world . . . because you you running Death on your own is a recipe for disaster." running Death on your own is a recipe for disaster."

I gasped. How dare dare he suggest that I wasn't capable of doing my father's job?! I'd already completed two of the tasks the Board had a.s.signed me, and the third was probably gonna be a piece of cake, so screw him. I was gonna find that Cup of Jams.h.i.+d, and then show Daniel exactly where he could stick it! he suggest that I wasn't capable of doing my father's job?! I'd already completed two of the tasks the Board had a.s.signed me, and the third was probably gonna be a piece of cake, so screw him. I was gonna find that Cup of Jams.h.i.+d, and then show Daniel exactly where he could stick it!

"I think you'd better go," I said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, calmly. I was not not gonna let him see how badly what he'd said had rattled me. It was my attempt to instill a bit of restraint into the proceedings, but I wasn't sure how well it was working for me, gonna let him see how badly what he'd said had rattled me. It was my attempt to instill a bit of restraint into the proceedings, but I wasn't sure how well it was working for me, or or the proceedings. the proceedings.

"I'm not going anywhere until I make you understand your situation," he said.

"I understand my situation, so you can go now."

"I don't think you do, Calliope," he answered. "Someone powerful took your father-"

"Someone like your boss," I said.

"You really think I'd be down here trying to broker a deal with you if the Devil had anything to do with the kidnapping? Think about it, Calliope. Use your brain, and you'll see the logic in what I'm saying."

"If it wasn't you . . . then who?"

Daniel sighed.

"I don't know. None of it makes any sense. It has to be someone under the radar. Someone that no one would ever suspect."

"Like me," I said through gritted teeth.

"Yes, like you. You were definitely high on our list . . ."

"That's so nice of you to say," I said, letting the sarcasm drip off my tongue. "It makes me feel so incredibly special to know you guys thought I was a criminal mastermind criminal mastermind."

Daniel shrugged. "We had to look at everyone. And you are are the black sheep of your family. You ran away to the human world; you abhor anything magical-" the black sheep of your family. You ran away to the human world; you abhor anything magical-"

"That's not entirely entirely true," I objected. true," I objected.

"You seemed like the weakest link. If anyone was gonna be turned, our money was on you."

"Great," I snorted. "So how do you know this isn't isn't some setup, then? That I didn't drink that stuff myself so I could lure you into rescuing me, and then take you hostage along with all the other people I'm holding hostage." some setup, then? That I didn't drink that stuff myself so I could lure you into rescuing me, and then take you hostage along with all the other people I'm holding hostage."

Daniel paused.

"Is that what you're planning to do?"

I punched him in the arm.

"No, it's not not what I'm planning to do! G.o.d." Did so many people really think I was capable of this kind of treachery? Apparently so. If the whole "my family thinks I'm a rat fink" thing hadn't been so annoying, I would've kinda been impressed by my alter-ego selves: mild-mannered executive a.s.sistant by day, evildoing criminal mastermind by night! what I'm planning to do! G.o.d." Did so many people really think I was capable of this kind of treachery? Apparently so. If the whole "my family thinks I'm a rat fink" thing hadn't been so annoying, I would've kinda been impressed by my alter-ego selves: mild-mannered executive a.s.sistant by day, evildoing criminal mastermind by night!

"Look, let me help you find the Cup of Jams.h.i.+d, and then we can go to the Board together," Daniel offered helpfully. "I promise to be good, and just help. That's it."

"Really?" I asked skeptically.

"Really," he said without a trace of irony.

I wanted to believe him. I really did, but there was something nagging at the back of my mind, telling me that Daniel, the Devil's protege, had another agenda that I wasn't privy to-one that was not not in my best interest. in my best interest.

"That's totally sweet of you. Wanting to help out of the goodness of your own heart, but I don't think it's necessary. I'm pretty sure I can handle this on my own. Thanks, though. And I really mean that," I added as I took a step away from him. "I'm gonna go now. Bye . . ."

Daniel just stood there watching me as I took another step forward, putting more distance between us. I felt weird just ditching him like that-I mean, he did save my life-but I couldn't stand there grinning at him all day, could I?

"Let me come with you."

"No," I said, "I don't think that's a good idea."

He took a step forward, following me as I tried to move farther away from him. I stopped and gave him a hard look.

"Go away."

He shrugged. "I can't help it that I happen to be going in the same direction you're going in."

I turned on my heel and marched right past him in the opposite direction. I didn't look back to see if he was following me this time. I knew knew without looking that he was. I picked up my pace so that I wasn't walking, but trotting- without looking that he was. I picked up my pace so that I wasn't walking, but trotting-yes, I do give good trot. If he was gonna stalk me, well, I wasn't going to make it easy for him.

After about ten minutes of fast walking through the sand, my body was exhausted. I could feel the sweat pouring down my face into the back of my tank top. My underarms were a stinky mess. Even my b.u.t.t crack was joining in the sweaty fun. I felt like a human sweat-making machine. If only only they could harness all that perspiration and use it to irrigate a small third-world country, it would be great. Otherwise, it was just disgusting. they could harness all that perspiration and use it to irrigate a small third-world country, it would be great. Otherwise, it was just disgusting.

I snuck a quick peek over my shoulder to see what progress Daniel had made, but when I scanned the dune behind me, I realized that he had disappeared. I decided that he just wasn't as excited about sharing the Presidency of Death, Inc., as I'd thought he was-or maybe he'd only gotten sand in his shoe and had to stop to dump it out. I had no idea where the Devil's protege was, nor did I really care to think about what his motivations were for anything anything he did. He was the enemy as far as I was concerned, and the farther away I got from him, the better. he did. He was the enemy as far as I was concerned, and the farther away I got from him, the better.

The only "real" problem I could see in my near future was that I had absolutely no no idea where I was going. I'd just started off in whatever direction was the idea where I was going. I'd just started off in whatever direction was the opposite opposite of where Daniel was supposedly going, and now I was totally lost. Not that I'd really known much about where I was of where Daniel was supposedly going, and now I was totally lost. Not that I'd really known much about where I was before before I'd made my escape from my "Midori Sour Savior." I'd been going under the a.s.sumption that Runt had s.h.i.+pped me off to whatever place seemed safest at the time-i.e., it was as far away from my irate family as possible. I'd made my escape from my "Midori Sour Savior." I'd been going under the a.s.sumption that Runt had s.h.i.+pped me off to whatever place seemed safest at the time-i.e., it was as far away from my irate family as possible.

Now I was lost, and it was totally the h.e.l.lhound's fault. Well, there was nothing else I could do but keep walking. Maybe I'd find the end of the desert, and someone would give me a prize for "persistence in the face of intense heat."

Not.

I started walking again, leaving a straggly trail of footsteps behind me so any rescue parties-the Devil's protege's Rescue Party not not included-could track me down without too much of a fuss. At first, I told myself that I would eventually run into something or someone, but after what seemed like hours, all I had seen was nothing but endless sand in every direction. This made me feel less than positive about my situation. Without blinking an eye, I s.h.i.+fted away from hope and slid right into desperation . . . my favorite of all the human emotions. included-could track me down without too much of a fuss. At first, I told myself that I would eventually run into something or someone, but after what seemed like hours, all I had seen was nothing but endless sand in every direction. This made me feel less than positive about my situation. Without blinking an eye, I s.h.i.+fted away from hope and slid right into desperation . . . my favorite of all the human emotions.

I am never going to escape from this desert. I am gonna spend the remainder of eternity here in this vacuum, making sand castles and getting eaten alive by sand fleas while I slowly turn into a giant human salt lick.

It was just as my mind thought the words "salt lick" that I looked up . . . and saw the palm tree. and saw the palm tree.