The Guilty Part 21

I tossed my bag down and went into the kitchen. My stomach growled for food. I poured a drink of cranberry juice and seltzer, set the gla.s.s down on the counter and reached into my pocket for Largo Vance's phone number. And that's when I felt a ma.s.sive blow to the side of my head and everything went black.

31.

Amanda Davies sat in the high-back leather chair and stared out the window. She wanted to call Henry, desperately wanted to hear his voice if only for a moment. Several times over the last few hours she'd reached for the phone, felt the plastic beneath her fingers, only to retract like she'd touched a poisonous plant.

The office was empty, dark except for a desk lamp and her computer screen. The minutes seemed to stretch into hours.

She watched the phone. He'd called once. She waited to see if he would call again. He didn't.

She'd told Henry she was coming here to sleep. She knew sleep wouldn't come easy. Not last night and not tonight. Not after what she saw.

Since joining the Legal Aid Society, Amanda had witnessed some horrible things. Mothers and fathers who beat their children within an inch of their life, starved them. Made seven-year-olds wear diapers for days and weeks on end.

Boys and girls who were found caked in their own excrement while their parents were out drinking, stealing or fornicating.

And no matter how hard they worked, how many children they rescued, it was like putting a Band-Aid on a busted dam.

204.

There wasn't enough manpower, not enough funding. As long as society remained this screwed up, as long as there were hedonistic parents who put themselves over their child, there would always be children without homes. Just like her. Until she met Henry.

She thought about Mya Loverne. Hated the fact that she felt even a whisper of sympathy for the girl. But she did. It was tearing her apart, because she could still see Mya's arms wrapped around Henry's waist, their lips touching, Henry seeming to give in.

He should have ended it months ago. He should have severed all ties with Mya Loverne. But he hadn't, and last night showed why. He wasn't ready to give her up. Amanda lost the one person she could turn to, the one who showed her that there were relations.h.i.+ps beyond her diaries.

She couldn't take it anymore. She grabbed the phone, nearly spilling a cup of water all over the desk, and dialed Henry's cell phone. She waited as it rang, hoping that any second he would pick up and she would hear his voice, hoping there was was more to the story. Henry was not a bad guy, more to the story. Henry was not a bad guy, like so many of the douche bags and deadbeats desperate women seemed to flock to. Guys who smelled like skunk residue and wore enough hair gel to paste King Kong to the Empire State Building. Henry wasn't like them. She couldn't picture him cheating on her. Being with another woman.

Pressing his lips (stop it) Henry's voice mail picked up.

"This is Henry. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible."

She bit her lip, then spoke.

"Henry, it's me. We need to talk. Call me when you get this."

205.

For a moment, fear gripped Amanda. What if he was with Mya? Couldn't be. He wasn't like that. He wasn't...

She hung up. Looked out the window again as the sun began to dip below the clouds, casting a golden hue over New York City. In a city of millions, Amanda had never felt so alone.

32.

Wake up, Parker.

I heard a voice in the distance, like a dream beginning to fade into the reality of morning. There was a beeping noise, like an alarm clock. Then just as abruptly it stopped. A gush of water hit me in the face, and the dream was shattered. I spit it out, coughed it out of my nose. My eyes opened. When I realized where I was, I wished I was still dreaming.

I was on the floor. Sitting up against the radiator. My hands were strapped behind my back. I couldn't see what was holding them together. My head throbbed and my neck felt sticky. My legs were numb, the tingling sensation of poor circulation. I had no idea how long I'd been here, but every muscle in my body felt some measure of pain.

The room was dark, a faint amber glow dying on the carpet. The sun was going down. How long had I been out?

My heart beat fast, fear and adrenaline spreading quickly, my pulse racing as panic began to set in. Water dripped down my face. It got into my eyes and I tried to blink it away.

Then I heard a sucking sound, looked over and saw a man I'd never seen before sitting at the living room table, smoking a cigarette like he didn't have a care in the world. He was 207.

flicking ashes into a neat little pile on the floor. There was an empty gla.s.s in front of him, water beading down its sides. I recognized it as a piece Amanda bought from a mail order catalog a few months back. She'd said my gla.s.sware looked so worn it was ready to turn back into sand.

The stranger c.o.c.ked his head and smiled at me, like he'd just noticed I was there.

"You're a heavy sleeper, Parker. I thought I'd have to bring a marching band in here to get those eyes open."

I blinked the spots from my eyes. The man in my living room was young. Mid-twenties. His face had no lines from age, but looked slightly weather-beaten, like he'd grown up in the sun and hadn't yet learned the dangers of UV rays. He was wearing jeans and a hooded sweats.h.i.+rt. A blue bandanna was wrapped around his head. His eyebrows and sideburns were dirty blond, but the bandanna hid his hair's length and style.

He wasn't from the city. n.o.body got natural tans living here.

Immediately I knew this man, like me, had come to New York from far away. He'd come for a reason. He'd killed four people without mercy or remorse. And now he was in my home.

The skin around his face was taut but smooth, like an older man squeezed into a younger man's body. His hands were veiny and strong, his expression one of both deep thought and intense malice, like he'd take a long hard thought before slitting your throat. This was the man who had ended four lives.

Mixed with fear, I felt a strange dose of excitement. The man sitting in my living room presented a fascinating story, one that I'd been dying to uncover. A spool that unraveled here--leaving me beaten and vulnerable, at a murderer's mercy.

He peered at me through a smoky haze as he took another drag and exhaled. I couldn't see any weapons on him, didn't 208.

know what he'd hit me with, only that it was heavy and knocked me out with one blow. I had a burning urge to write a very strongly worded letter to the landlord about the s.h.i.+tty security in this apartment building, but there were more pressing issues.

"How did you..." I said. My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton, my words slurred and slow.

"Please," he said. "Your building is easier to get into than my jeans. And it costs a whole lot less, too."

He stood up. Moved closer until he was hovering over me.

My heart was pounding. I tried futilely to struggle with my bonds. I could smell the stink of sweat. He was breathing hard, but not enough to keep a sick smile from spreading over his face.

"Part of me just wants to kill you right now," he said.

"Lord knows you deserve it."

"Like Athena deserved it," I spat. "And Joe Mauser, and Jeffrey Lourdes and David Loverne."

"d.a.m.n straight," he said. "Fact is, you belong right in with the whole lot of 'em. I could f.u.c.king kill you right now and n.o.body would know until some s.h.i.+tty two-line statement in your newspaper told 'em."

I had nothing to say. I tugged against my bonds, felt pain in my shoulder. It was useless. My legs were asleep, and I had no leverage. The boy watched me with odd fascination, like watching a fly struggle to free itself from a web.

Finally I stopped struggling.

"If you wanted to kill me--" I started to say.

"I would have done it right after I knocked your a.s.s out,"

he finished. "No, I don't aim to kill you just yet, Henry.

You've been useful so far. I'm sure you were flattered I left one of your writings behind."

209.

"You're demented."

He eyed me with disappointment. "Killing you is still a possibility, you don't get a lot smarter."

"Smarter?" I said, rather stupidly.

"I've read your paper," he said. "I've read all those stories about the guns and the bullets and the blah blah blah. Fact is your stories don't mean anything. anything. What are you doing, What are you doing, son, other than just repeating s.h.i.+t that's already happened?

You're a G.o.dd.a.m.n stenographer with a fancy business card, my friend, and just because you happened to look under a log n.o.body else wanted to get dirty enough to look under doesn't make you any less of a maggot than the dirt you find underneath."

"Like you," I said. "The maggot I found underneath."

"Maggot, whatever. All depends on your perspective," he said, dropping his cigarette onto the floor where he stubbed it out with the toe of his sneaker. "Funny thing about maggots is, people hate 'em, but the whole world would go to h.e.l.l without 'em. Maggots strip dead flesh from bone, make sure the smell doesn't bother your pretty nostrils."

"Billy the Kid," I said, tasting my own blood. "What do you..."

"Shut the f.u.c.k up," the boy said. Without warning, he stomped on my leg hard with his foot. I let out a cry of pain.

"You don't know anything. anything. You know what you do, Henry You know what you do, Henry Parker? You write about about history. Me?" he said with a sharp history. Me?" he said with a sharp laugh. "I am am history. I decide what makes tomorrow's headlines. Without me you'd have nothing to write about Athena history. I decide what makes tomorrow's headlines. Without me you'd have nothing to write about Athena Paradis, her s.h.i.+tty singing, and David Loverne s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g some wh.o.r.e instead of his wife. Without me Jeffrey Lourdes would have nothing to write about except no-talent hacks getting high and cras.h.i.+ng their cars. Fact is, guys like you need a guy 210.

like me to survive in this world. You reap what I sow. Nothing you can do to change that."

"So why are you here?" I said, the words spilling out of my mouth. "You say I can't live without you, but I didn't break into your home and whack you over the head."

He laughed, one time, sharply.

"See my problem is, ungrateful a.s.shole like you doesn't even know I'm doing you a favor. favor. You might not be able to You might not be able to see it past your six-dollar coffee cup, but Athena Paradis, Lourdes, those people are ruining this place. You take the spotlight off of them you find what really matters. You talk about maggots? They're They're the vermin. Guys like you put a spotlight on the vermin, pretend you can't see how diseased they the vermin. Guys like you put a spotlight on the vermin, pretend you can't see how diseased they are. Then they infect you and everyone else. And what do you do? Blame people like me. And since you, Parker, are too chicken-s.h.i.+t to do it yourself, I'm going to do it for you. At some point there won't be no Athenas left. No more maggots to celebrate. And then you'll thank me."

"So why are you here, exactly?You have some grudge against the world?You didn't get laid until you were eighteen 'cause the girls didn't like some freak with a chip on his shoulder?"

He looked at me, as though confused and saddened by my ignorance. "You're even dimmer than I thought. Maybe I would be doing folks a favor 'n' get rid of you."

"Then go ahead, get rid of me or get the f.u.c.k out of here."

"Trust me, I have something better in mind." His mouth curved into a vicious smile that made my skin crawl. "The real reason I'm here is because there's some history best stayed buried. I've seen you going to talk to all those people.

I watched you leave that college professor's office this morning. And you know what I was thinking when you left?

When I saw that broad's face watch you from her dirty 211.

window? I pictured what her head might look like with a rifle slug going through it at five hundred feet per second."

"A magnum slug," I said. "From your Winchester, you freak."

"That's right," the boy said. He took a step back. "I know about your woman. Amanda, right? Pretty hair, got that cute little birthmark under her neck. I know how she saved your your life, Henry. Funny, she keeps your a.s.s out of the ground and all you do is keep bringing 'maggots' like me into her world.

What I'm wondering, Henry, is if her skin is that pretty on the inside. Rifles aren't the only things I know how to use pretty well. You don't get any smarter, we're going to find out what her skin looks like when we turn that girl inside out."

"Amanda," I breathed. "You go anywhere near her..."

"I could walk up to her on the street right right now and stick a now and stick a knife into her heart and you'd still be stuck here wriggling like a stupid f.u.c.king fish on a hook. If I go anywhere near her you can't do G.o.dd.a.m.n anything. G.o.dd.a.m.n anything. " "

The boy's face seemed to unwind, the tautness leaving it.

In other light it might have even looked kind.

"Amanda," he repeated. "Amanda Davies. Daughter of Harriet and Lawrence Stein of St. Louis. I got her name from someone at your office, that newspaper you work for that's going down the drain. People there are awful free with information. I know where she works, I know what train she takes to get to her office in the morning so she can save all the little children whose mommies and daddies didn't love them enough. Kind of like you and Amanda, right?

"That's right, smart guy. So listen, Henry, you and me, we're on the same page, right? You can do all the storytelling you want, h.e.l.l there must be a million million stories out there in this stories out there in this big bad city. I'm asking nicely, stay away from this one. And as a token of my friends.h.i.+p, I'll make it a little easier on you."

212.

The boy stepped around to where I was sitting. I saw something s.h.i.+ny, the glint of metal. He held a knife in his hands.

I tried to crane my neck but I couldn't see him as he leaned down and reached toward where my hands were bound.

I started bucking like crazy, but between my head and the bonds my strength was gone. I felt a hand clamp down on my right wrist, holding it to the floor. I jerked my shoulder and tried to free it, gritted my teeth and attempted to pull away.

Suddenly I felt a searing pain on my right hand and a shout escaped my lips as the blade sliced through my skin. I cried out again as the blade kept cutting, tearing through me for what seemed like hours. I felt hot blood dripping through my fingers, I bit my lips to keep from screaming.

Finally the blade stopped. The boy stood back up over me.

His hands and the blade were covered in my blood. I thought my heart was going to burst through my chest, the room fading away as blood leaked from my veins.

"Now I'm going to just use your bathroom, clean all this mess up and then I'll be on my way." He stepped away and I heard running water. The pain was unbearable, blood leaving my body with every heartbeat.

Then he came back. Squatted down. Pressed the tip of the knife against my chest, hard enough so I could feel the point digging in between two of my ribs. One small shove and he would pierce my heart.

"You have a lot to lose, Henry. Think about where you're going. Take one bad step," he said, before walking out the door, "and you'll know what bad means."