Finding Laila: Some Changes Are Necessary Part 7

"It wasn't like that," he defends, but I stop him because I'm not finished.

"Where was my choice in any of this?"

"You're right, and I have no legitimate excuse except that we're guys and idiots. But you've always been my choice. You're the only one that I've wanted-don't you see that?"

I shake my head in disbelief, but no words come out.

"Laila, for so long I've wanted to tell you how I felt, but I guess I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of you." He raises his hand at me and drops it.

"Me?"

"You're intimidating as h.e.l.l! You do realize you're pretty much the perfect girl, right?"

I shake my head and he smiles before he elaborates.

"You're smart and strong-I see everything you've put up with and you never let it get to you. You're comfortable being you. You cuss like a sailor, eat like a guy, and have the looks of a model. From the time we were kids, you were always the coolest chick I knew and I couldn't help but fall in love with you."

This is not happening.

Wake up, Laila.

Now!

"Wait." I put my hand up, trying to wrap my mind around all of this. "In love?"

He steps closer to me and reaches his hand to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear, and his knuckles graze my cheek.

"Yeah-in love." He c.o.c.ks his head to the side, uncertainty lacing his face. "I'm sorry I'm not gay, but I am in love with you, Laila Nixon. Is there any chance you'd be willing to go on a date with me and see if you might feel the same way?"

Okay, liking me is one thing, I'm working on that one, but the in love part is crazy.

"I'm sorry you're not gay too, Searle, because it would make things a lot easier."

"Easy is boring," he says as he steps even closer to me and reaches for my hand, "and life is supposed to be exciting."

"Yeah, well, I have to admit, this was a twist to the story I wasn't expecting." I finally smile.

"You up for this?" He presses his forehead to mine and closes his eyes.

"I might be."

"Well, let's get you home and you can think about it."

He reaches for my hand as if it's any other day, but it's not. We walk back to his car, and when he opens the door for me there's a different meaning to the action. I glide onto the seat, and as we make the drive back to my house, the silence is deafening.

"Did you think about it yet?" he teases when he pulls into my driveway.

My pulse races and b.u.t.terflies swarm in my stomach at the question. I haven't thought of Haden like this since eighth grade when he didn't show any interest in me. Yet sitting here with him now, it's all I can think of.

"I'm working on it," I say quietly.

We get out of the car and make our way up to the front door, but I pause before entering. When I turn to face him, he's so close that I can smell his cologne.

"You're killing me," he whispers.

He timidly wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to his body. My hands snake around his neck and we stand there together-familiar, yet strangers in this way.

Nervousness courses through my veins when he drops his chin and his lips meet mine. It's a brief kiss that holds so much potential and I want him to do it again.

It's as if the wind has been sucked from my lungs when he drops his hands from my waist. Neither of us says a word as he takes a couple of steps back before turning to walk down to his car. He leans his arm on the top of his car and glances back at me, and it's clear that simple kiss had an effect on both of us.

I've dated guys before and I've been kissed, but something about that kiss leaves me feeling like I've been missing out all this time.

I ultimately wave and start to turn to my front door but pause when I see him run over to me.

"I wanna do that again," he says breathlessly before crus.h.i.+ng his lips to mine, and I all but melt.

When we finally part, he kisses me once more, heads out to his car, and flashes the lights at me before I walk inside the house. I watch him pull out of the driveway before closing the door and rus.h.i.+ng to my room to replay everything and hopefully get some answers from the one person I know has them.

Chapter 6 ~ Finding Support.

"Hey," I rush out as soon as Joey answers his phone.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Haden isn't gay," I inform him, because I'm still shocked by the revelation.

"No," he drags, "he's not, but thanks for the confirmation."

"Stop it, Joey. I'm serious."

"What's wrong with you?"

"I went with Haden to his gallery opening tonight," I reveal.

"Yeah, and?"

"Why don't you sound surprised by that?" I ask, knowing there is something he isn't telling me.

"I knew about the opening tonight," he admits.

"But he told me not to tell anyone."

"He came to me the other day and asked what I thought," he admits easily.

"Wait a minute." I sit on the edge of my bed and try to understand what he's telling me. "From the beginning."

"What do you want to know?"

"I want to know how much you know," I whine. "Did you know about his artwork? Did you know he was going to ask me out?"

"The art, no. Yes to the date part."

"Joey Parker the third," I shout his full name for emphasis, "what are you telling me?"

"Um, I think I'm telling you what you already know. But to recap: Haden isn't gay, I have not seen his artwork for the gallery, and he wants to take you on a date. Did I miss anything?"

"I'm glad I can't see you right now because I'm inclined to hit you. And I can't go out with Haden, he's my best friend," I protest.

"I'm your best friend. And do you have feelings for Haden?"

"Honestly?"

"Yeah."

"I haven't thought of him like that in a long time but-" I feel shy admitting that out loud, but it's true.

"But now you're starting to," he finishes for me.

"This is Haden we're talking about. I can't date him, and now things are going to be so weird. Say we dated, everyone would feel awkward around us, and if we broke up, it would ruin what we have."

"Lai, I hate to break it to you, but this is it, kid. This is senior year. In less than eight months we'll graduate, and three months after that we'll all be spread across different colleges. If you don't take chances for fear that it will change what we have, then you don't give us enough credit."

And this is why he's my best friend.

"Why me?" I ask. "Why not some other girl?"

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, he's been on a dating hiatus for years. All this time I thought he was gay because he didn't have a girlfriend. He never showed interest in any of our cla.s.smates."

"Sure he did," Joey argues.

"Who?"

"You, Laila," he states in that tone that he knows drives me mad. "He's had a thing for you forever. I mean, at some point we've all had a crush on you, but we outgrew it. Not Searle. We said a long time ago that you're off limits because, like you, we didn't want to ruin anything. But he never moved on."

"Yeah, about this 'off limits' thing: what is that about? Why didn't you ever tell me? That's ridiculous!"

"We're guys, Lai. You know we're idiots, what can I say? Besides, telling you would've defeated the purpose, right?"

"He kissed me," I say in a rush.

"About d.a.m.n time," he laughs.

I'm grateful that I can vent to Joey because he's always told me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. Well, until now.

"Do you think we'd be good together?"

"d.a.m.n, you need a girlfriend," he teases. "Yeah, sure, I think you'll be great."

"I gotta go," I tell Joey, feeling suddenly out of breath.

"Just think about it, okay?"

"Yeah, I don't think I can think about anything else," I confirm before ending the call and tossing my phone to the side.

I lean back until my head hits the stack of pillows behind me, and let everything that's happened tonight settle. Joey confirmed what Haden said about having a thing for me for a while, but I've never noticed it.

Have I?

Haden has always been my quiet champion. He doesn't always agree with me, but I know he has my back. But that's what friends do. Right?

I've seen him looking at me, but I've never considered the looks anything more than the silent conversations we have always had.

But he has always been the one waiting for me after school or tagging along to my swim practices when he's free. Then there are the jogging trips we make a few nights a week. Those are the times where he opens up and shares his life with me.

I walk over to my closet and pull out the yearbooks for the last three years and thumb through them and find his inscription from freshman year: You are the coolest girl I know.

No matter where life takes us, always know that I'm here, waiting.

Love, Haden P.S. If any guy breaks your heart, I'll break his face.

"No way," I say out loud, completely shocked. I've read the inscription before, but the meaning is completely different now.

I skip tenth grade and go to junior year to see what he wrote: Laila, I'm glad to have you in my life.

One more year together before everything changes. Let's make our last one the best.

I'll always be here for you. Forever.

I love you. Haden I read his words again, but this time I hear them-I feel them. I say those three words to all of the guys because I do love them. And when they respond, I've never read into them.

How could Joey not tell me that Haden felt this way?

I grab my phone and dial Joey's number again and wait for him to answer.