Carnal Confessions Part 4

I bit my lip. "I know what you're thinking. First I slept with Jim and now him, but Mariaa" I trailed off. How could I expect her to understand that it had been more than s.e.x, at least for me.

Maria shook her head. "Actually, I was going to say that he must be a very special guy."

"He is." Well, at least I hoped he was.

Maria and I spent nearly two hours deciding what I would wear for my date with Marc. "You'd think I was getting married," I laughed, holding up the strapless, calf length dress we'd finally settled on.

Maria grinned. "Hey. You never know."

But I did know. "That's not what he wants from me, Maria."

"Then why are you seeing him again?"

It was so simple for Maria. If a man wasn't interested in marriage then she wasn't interested in him. But I had to see him again. "You wouldn't understand, Maria."

"I think I do," she said slowly.

But I knew she didn't. How could she when even I couldn't understand why I was so driven by s.e.xual desire for another woman's man? I'd always despised women who slithered around with a man who was married or committed to another woman. Now I was ready and willing to become one myself.

Marc took me to a small, intimate restaurant with soft music playing in the background and high-backed booths that created the impression that we had the whole place to ourselves. During dinner we talked about work, the movies, and politics. Despite the age difference, we found we shared many of the same views. It was over coffee that he turned the talk personal. "How is it that you don't have a lover?"

"I just don't. But what about you? Who isaCatherine?"

"She's a friend."

"How good a friend?"

He sighed. "We were close for a while. I was thinking of getting closer."

"What happened?"

He looked directly into my eyes. "You happened."

I stared at him. "Are you engaged to her?"

"No. Ia"this is going to make me sound like a first cla.s.s heel. Maybe I am. We've been seeing each other exclusively for about a year and a half. We have a lot in common. We're fond of each other. I was thinking about asking her to move in with me the weekend of the wedding, but she had to go on a last minute business trip. And then I met you."

His confession confused me. I was part ashamed that I'd slept with another woman's man and part eager to repeat the offense.

"Do you live together?"

"No."

"Are youabut you're still seeing her."

"Does it matter?"

"Yes!"

"Why?"

"Because I have no desire to be the one you go to when you can't have her."

"You mean you want more than a physical relations.h.i.+p?"

"Is that all you have to offer me?"

"If I said yes?"

I bit the inside of my lip until I tasted blood in my mouth. "Are you saying yes?"

He stared at me for a long time before answering. "Would it be so bad if I was?"

I was stunned. How could he not share my feelings? I looked away, hoping he hadn't seen the pain or the tears in my eyes. "I'm not interested in what you're offering."

He reached out and clasped my hand in his. "Are you sure?"

I jerked away from him. "I'm positive." But I wasn't.

"Lena, Catherine and Ia"I can't just drop her. She and her familyathey expecta"

"They expect? What about me! What can I expect from you? To be f.u.c.ked on a no strings attached basis?"

"I didn't say that."

But that was obviously what he wanted. I wanted him so much I was almost ready to agree to it.

"Bear with me, Lena."

"Why should I? There are a lot of other men who won't expect me to share them."

He sighed. "This didn't turn out the way I'd hoped."

"I'm sure it hasn't." He'd probably expected the night to end with us in the sack. That was certainly what I'd wanted.

At the door of my apartment, he pulled me into his arms and rubbed his lower body against mine, letting me feel his hardening c.o.c.k. "If you change your mind, call me."

I had to bit my lip hard because I wanted him inside me again so badly. Somehow I found the strength to shove against his shoulders. "Don't hold your breath!"

I told Maria about our date the next day.

"Forget him. You deserve a man who respects and loves you."

Maybe so but I wanted Marc, warts and all. Still, in an effort to forget him, I worked overtime nearly every night. I arrived home too tired to do anything but eat. Nevertheless, I lay in bed night after night, my head filled with thoughts of how sweet and warm his lips were, how wonderful his arms felt around me, and how exquisite his big c.o.c.k felt making that first slow slide into me.

So three weeks later I found myself standing outside his apartment door. It wasn't until he opened the door that I realized he might not be alone.

He looked surprised, but pleased. "Lena! Hi. Come in."

"Are you alone?"

"Not anymore." When I didn't move, he reached out and drew me inside. He glanced at his watch. "Have you eaten? Let's go to dinner?"

"I came straight from work." I'd expected him to be very smug or complacent. I wasn't prepared for his apparent joy at seeing me. "I wanted to see you." There I'd admitted it.

"I wanted to see you too." He smiled, his dark gaze moving slowly over my body. "And to get in that sweet c.u.n.t of yours."

I went willingly into his open arms. That was, after all, why I'd come. He nipped at my ear. "Lena. Beautiful, sweet, Lena. You have no idea how good you make me feel."

I turned my head until our lips were touching. I kissed him again and again until I was breathless. Then I clung to him. "Please, Marca"

He lifted his head and stared down into my eyes. "We'd better get out of here while we still can." He released me and opened the apartment door. "Let's go get something to eat."

I pushed the door closed. "I didn't come here to eat."

He pulled the door open again. "I know, but I really think that's what we should do."

I felt really slimy, but I couldn't stop myself. "Don't you want to f.u.c.k me?"

"h.e.l.l yeah! My d.i.c.k is getting hard just thinking of your tight p.u.s.s.y." He stroked my cheek gently. "But let's go eat."

He held me close as we danced after dinner. I trembled in his arms, longing to go to bed with him. But at my door, he kissed me lightly and turned to go.

"I don't understanda" I knew I was behaving like what my mom would call a shameless hussy, but I didn't care anymore. "I was hoping that you'd stay the night, Marc."

"We need to talk before we do that again, Lena."

"We can talk later. Right now I need your c.o.c.k."

He put his arms around me. "Just remember in the morning that I tried to be n.o.ble."

He undressed me slowly, raining kisses and compliments on my body as he exposed my small, firm b.r.e.a.s.t.s, my flat stomach, and finally my trimmed mound. He went down on his knees, gently parted my p.u.s.s.y lips, wiggled his tongue inside me and began eating me out. He had to hold onto me because in less than two minutes my legs shook and I came in his mouth. He licked most of the juices from the outside of my c.u.n.t before rising and pressing against me.

When he French kissed me, the taste of my own juices on his lips sent an added jolt of l.u.s.t zinging through me. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck. Then without taking off his clothes, he unzipped his pants, popped out his lovely shaft, pressed me back against the wall, raised one of my legs, and thrust himself into me.

With the wall at my back and him pumping his big c.o.c.k deep inside my already satisfied p.u.s.s.y, I quickly peaked again. This time my o.r.g.a.s.m was so intense, I couldn't bare it. Whimpering with pleasure, I weakly pushed against his shoulders. "It's too good. No more."

But he hadn't come yet and he kept up the relentless movements until he did. When he finally stopped shuddering we both collapsed to the floor.

Later in bed, he stretched me out on my stomach, mounted me, and plowed into me from behind. In that position he achieved deeper penetration and the base of his c.o.c.k rubbed against my c.l.i.t on each upward stroke. He wrapped his arms around my waist, buried his lips against my neck and gave me the most glorious f.u.c.k I'd ever had.

I told myself later that we had made love. But the truth was we went at each other like a pair of s.e.x-crazed animals until we fell into an exhausted sleep.

In the morning I was sated and happy. I rubbed my face against his chest. "Oh, Marc. I'm so happy."

He didn't reply but I felt his muscles tense. I looked up at him. The tenderness I'd pretended to see in his eyes the night before was gone. There was just desire now. As there'd been last night. "Nothing's changed, has it, Marc?"

He shook his head. "I don't think I did or said anything to make you think that it had, Lena."

I was only too well aware that I was the one who had sought him out and thrown myself at him. "Are you still seeing her?"

"Yes."

"Are you f.u.c.king her?"

He didn't respond and I wanted to cry. "Are you going to marry her?"

"I'm not sure."

"What about me?"

He kissed my shoulder. "I want you in my bed, no matter what happens."

My eyes filled with tears. "It's not just s.e.x for me, Marc. I care about you."

"You're very young. It's easy to get confused, Lena."

"I'm not so young that I don't know the difference between love and l.u.s.t."

He stared down at me. "Love? Is that what you think this is? It's good between us. It's great. But it's s.e.x."

"I don't know what you feel, Marc, but I know what I feel."

He pulled me gently into his arms. "Lena."

I shoved against his shoulders. "I have to go. You probably want to see her."

His arms tightened around me and he pressed his lower body against mine. I felt his c.o.c.k, hot and hard against my stomach. "Does this feel like I want to leave you for another woman?"

"I want more from you than just your big d.i.c.k!"

"I need time."

"Time for what? Are you still f.u.c.king her?"

"You were the one who insisted we f.u.c.k last night!"

The combination of anger and embarra.s.sment was too much. I slapped him. "You miserable b.a.s.t.a.r.d! I don't ever want to see you again."

I tried to scramble off the bed, but he caught my arm, rolled me over onto my back, and slid his big, hard body on top of me. "Then I'd better have one last f.u.c.k before you go."

I wish I could say that he forced me, but he didn't. I was addicted to him and his magnificent c.o.c.k. He kissed me and I became a wild woman. Kissing and touching him, clutching his hips, shoving mine up against his. "Please. I need your c.o.c.k in me!"

"Oh you're gonna get it, baby." He finger f.u.c.ked me a few minutes to get me wet and slippery. Then he shoved forward, filling every inch of my p.u.s.s.y with rigid c.o.c.k.

He began a deep frenzied f.u.c.k, drilling me mercilessly until I lost track of how many times I came on him. Finally I'd had enough and lay limp and purring under him like a satisfied kitten. Groaning, he continued to thrust deeply until he'd emptied his nuts in me.