Her Guilty Secret Part 11

'Will Joanne be having lunch, too?' Rachel asked at once, scrambling forward, and Alex exchanged another amused look with Kate.

'Not today,' he said at last. 'But maybe next time you come to visit. Look, there's Mrs Muir.

You'll have to make do with her for today.'

Rachel looked as if she might protest, but then she saw the fluffy toy Mrs Muir was carrying and Joanne was forgotten. 'Peter!' she exclaimed. 'It's Peter Rabbit.' And as soon as the door was opened for her she jumped out, wrapping her arms around the cuddly bunny, and beaming all over her face.

Kate got out rather more sedately. She wasn't at all convinced that she was doing the right thing.

In fact she was fairly sure she was doing the wrong one, and even the warmth of Mrs Muir's welcome didn't help to put her at her ease.

Still, there wasn't a lot she could do about it now. Everyone seemed to be taking it for granted that she was staying, and it would have been churlish to refuse. Besides, much as she feared their developing relations.h.i.+p, it could prove useful, and she squashed her initial prejudice beneath a veneer of polite forbearance.

All the same, that forbearance quickly wore thin when Mrs Muir took Rachel off to the kitchen with her, leaving Kate and Alex in the library. Once again, they were alone together, and Kate had the added distraction of knowing that she was nowhere near as indifferent to him as she'd have him believe.

'Drink?' he offered, as before, and this time Kate decided she needed something slightly stronger than orange juice to sustain her.

'Um-do you have a martini?' she asked, linking her cold fingers together, and Alex bent to open the cabinet door.

'I think so,' he said, dropping ice cubes into a tall gla.s.s. Then, looking up, he said, 'Make yourself at home.'

As if she could!

Kate managed a tight smile nevertheless, and subsided into the armchair she'd occupied the last time she was here. Holding her hands towards the fire, she tried to force herself to relax, but her knees persisted in trembling and she pressed them together to hide her nervousness.

'There you go.'

She hadn't heard Alex cross the room. The richly patterned carpet had silenced his footsteps, but now he was beside her, the drink she had requested extended towards her.

'Oh-oh, thanks.' Her face burned suddenly, and she heard him mutter something under his breath.

'It's okay.' His voice when he spoke revealed his frustration. Then, going back to the cabinet, he helped himself to a beer from the fridge before continuing, 'You can trust me, you know. I don't usually try to seduce my guests.' His lips twisted. 'Well, not on a first date anyway.'

'It wasn't a date.'

'No.' He acknowledged her correction. 'Which makes it worse, doesn't it? I took advantage of you without even paying the bill.'

Kate pressed her lips together. 'Let's forget about it, shall we?' She sipped her martini. 'This is nice.'

'Not too strong for you?' he asked mockingly. 'I wouldn't want to be accused of trying to get you drunk.'

Kate sighed and looked up at him. 'Would you like me to go? I can, you know. You can always tell Mrs Muir that Joanne is ill or something.'

'Why would I want to do that?' Alex sighed, too, his impatience evident. 'No, I just want us to stop sniping at each other. I'd like you to stay.' He paused, and then added softly, 'I hope we can be friends.'

Friends?

Kate almost choked on her drink. Dear G.o.d, if he ever found out who she was he'd be-uncontrollable. She had been thinking 'furious', but that wasn't a strong enough adjective to describe how he'd feel. Her breath caught in her throat. He'd never forgive her; never. She'd have to spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder, afraid of every shadow after dark.

'Look,' she began awkwardly, 'you don't have to say anything. There's nothing either of us can do to change the past, and I'd rather pretend it never happened.' She waited a beat, and then, with a complete change of subject, asked, 'Are-are you and Mrs Sheridan good friends?'

'Lacey?' His eyes narrowed. 'I guess so. Why do you ask?'

Kate shrugged. 'Um, Ted-Ted Lowes, that is-said she'd gone to Doncaster with you.'

'Ah.'

He sounded resigned, and she hoped she hadn't said anything she shouldn't. The last thing she wanted to do was make him think she'd been gossiping about him. Or that Ted had been gossiping either. Especially since the head groom had proved depressingly reticent about his boss.

'That was Mrs Sheridan who-who-'

'Interrupted us last week?' suggested Alex dryly, and she hoped he'd been diverted by her words.

'Yes, that was Lacey,' he agreed, and then grimaced. 'She and I have known one another a long time.'

'Really?'

Kate tried not to sound too interested, and, as she'd hoped, he continued inasimilar vein. 'Her land adjoins Jamaica Hill on the western boundary. When my father was alive, he and her husband were good friends.'

'But he doesn't accompany her to race meetings?'

Kate couldn't hide her curiosity and Alex regarded her sardonically. 'She's a widow,' he amended. 'Her husband was much older than she was and he died a few years ago. Since then...'

he paused '...since then, she and I have attempted to sustain the connection. Unfortunately, it hasn't always worked.'

'No?'

'No.' Once again Kate's comment had prompted a reaction. 'She never did forgive me for marrying Pam.' He mused. 'And when Alicia was here she didn't like that either. She couldn't wait to get her out of the house.'

'Alicia?' Kate managed to sound as if the name was not familiar to her.

'Yeah, Alicia Sawyer,' he conceded, but she sensed she'd spoken out of turn. 'She worked at the stables before you came,' he added, almost as an afterthought. He nodded towards the gla.s.s in her hand. 'Would you like another?'

'What?' Kate had been so intent on what he was saying that she hardly heard the question.

'Oh-oh, no,' she mumbled, when her brain kicked into action again. 'Um-' She hesitated. 'This is fine, thank you.' And then, after another pregnant pause, she asked, 'Did she find another job?'

'Who?'

Now it was his turn to be obtuse, and she had to force herself to continue. 'Al-Alicia,' she murmured, pretending an innocence she didn't feel.

'She left,' he responded shortly. 'Rather suddenly.' His face hardened. 'I prefer not to discuss Mrs Sawyer, if you don't mind.'

'I'm sorry.'

Of course, Kate did mind, but she could hardly tell him that. And at least he wasn't afraid to discuss her departure, which must say something about his state of mind.

'It doesn't matter,' he declared indifferently now. 'I guess I'm touchy where Mrs Sawyer is concerned.' He paused. 'But Lacey means well,' he added, reverting to his earlier topic. 'I'm not always the most tolerant of men.'

Kate saw the opening and took it. 'Does Mrs Sheridan breed horses, too?'

'She owns a couple of mares and a prize stallion, but I wouldn't call her a breeder,' replied Alex flatly. 'She doesn't have the facilities for breeding. She prefers someone else to deal with that side of things.'

'You?' asked Kate guilelessly, and then coloured at the possible connotation. 'I mean, you do breed horses, don't you? You have such a lot.'

'I actually own very few horses,' Alex told her tolerantly. 'But, yes, I have the facilities for breeding here at Jamaica Hill, as you say.'

'But-'

Kate was confused now, and he went on to enlighten her. 'My business is mainly concerned with boarding other people's horses,' he explained levelly. 'We can arrange for a mare to be covered-serviced-if that's what the owner wants, but most of our work is involved in exercising and training young animals, as I'm sure you'll have gathered by now.'

'But you go to race meetings.'

'I go to horse sales, too, both here and in the United States, but I'm usually acting on behalf of someone else.'

Kate shook her head. 'I thought-' she began, before breaking off, and he uttered a short laugh.

'What? That I owned all the horseflesh in my stables?' he asked drolly. 'I'm not a rich man, Kate, whatever impression you may have gained from the tabloids when Pam died.'

Kate was embarra.s.sed. 'I didn't mean to imply-' She made a helpless gesture. 'Tell me about how you started. Have you always wanted to work with horses?'

'Actually, I wanted to be a psychologist,' he admitted ruefully. 'But my father wasn't having any of that. I was his only offspring, you see, and he was determined I'd take over this place when he retired.'

Kate nodded. 'But you didn't mind?'

'I minded like h.e.l.l, but it didn't do me any good,' Alex replied, pulling a wry face. 'But I like to think I've put some of that instinctive training to good use.'

Kate was interested. 'How?'

'Well, they say that to train a horse you've got to use psychology. You concentrate on three things: its physical abilities, its skill, and its mental fitness. A lot depends on a horse's temperament. You can have the fittest animal in the world, but if its nature is inherently bad there's not a lot you can do with it.'

'But how do you know? I mean-' Kate tried to clarify what she meant '-how do you know when a horse is-say, bad-tempered?'

Alex was silent for so long, she thought he wasn't going to answer her. But then he said, 'Vicious horses tend to lay their ears back and bare their teeth.' He paused. 'If you're trying to find out why my wife would choose to mount a horse like that, why don't you come right out and say so? It's not as if I haven't been asked that question before.'

'I'm not.' Kate was ashamed to admit that nothing had been further from her thoughts.

He scowled. 'Well, the truth is, Jackson-that was the name of the horse she was riding when she had the accident-didn't always exhibit his psychosis. He was only uncontrollable at times, but I'd already decided to get rid of him.'

Kate hesitated. 'I suppose you wish you had now.'

'Yeah, right.' Alex was predictably bitter. 'Then I might have been dumb enough to be bringing up two children that weren't my own.'

Kate gasped. 'Rachel's yours!' she exclaimed. 'I don't know how you can doubt it. Her hair, her eyes, her mouth-' She caught herself before she incriminated herself further. 'I-I'm sure you don't need to have any worries on-on that score.'

Alex's expression had softened. 'I'm glad to hear it.' His eyes played about her mouth. 'And I suppose I should be flattered that you seem so well-informed.'

Kate buried her nose in her drink, conscious that the atmosphere between them was subtly changing again. It seemed she couldn't be alone with this man without becoming aware of him in a totally personal way.

Rachel's return a few moments later, to announce that lunch was ready, provided a welcome escape from her dilemma. Instead of watching her, Alex was obliged to watch his daughter, and she kept him busy with a host of questions of her own. They ranged from when she was going to be allowed to spend the night at Jamaica Hill with him to the new foal he intended to show her that afternoon. When they went in to lunch, Kate noticed that the little girl only picked at her meal again, but what she lacked in appet.i.te she definitely made up for in charm.

After the meal, she insisted on showing Kate her bedroom. She was obviously rea.s.sured to find it looked exactly the same as it had done the last time she was here. Kate guessed Alex kept it that way deliberately. The toys, the paper on the walls, even the soft furnis.h.i.+ngs, were all to suit a much younger child than Rachel was now.

Once back at the stables, Kate excused herself and went into her office. Much as she would have liked to stay with Alex and his daughter, she knew she had to remember why she was here. The trouble was, the longer she knew Alex, the more she became convinced that he was innocent.

Which wasn't at all the purpose behind why Henry Sawyer had persuaded her to take this job...

CHAPTER NINE.

'SO WHAThave you found out?'

Henry Sawyer faced Kate across the desk in her office at the agency, a scowl of impatience darkening his already sullen features. He'd rung Susie the day before to arrange this meeting, once again after normal working hours, which Kate thought was just as well.

She could hardly have asked for any more time off, she reflected ruefully, fidgeting with her pen.

What excuse could she have given Alex? That she was meeting with the man who was trying to ruin his life?

She knew Sawyer expected her to have some information for him, but the fact was, she needed more time. It wasn't possible to gain a person's confidence in the s.p.a.ce of a few short weeks, particularly when the press had already given Alex such a raw deal. And everyone who worked at Jamaica Hill was sensitive to any questions of a personal nature.

'I know that your wife worked for Mr Kellerman until about eleven weeks ago,' she said now, and Henry Sawyer gave a derisive snort.

'I know that. I told you!' he exclaimed scornfully. 'I mean-do you know where she is? Has Kellerman dropped any clues?'

As if he would!

'He-he did say she left quite suddenly,' she admitted at last, chiding herself for the sense of guilt she felt at revealing this much to him.

'I'll bet he did,' muttered the man opposite. 'If she ever left at all. That b.a.s.t.a.r.d's got all the answers. You want to watch yourself, Mrs Ross. You're not unlike Alicia yourself.'

Kate caught her breath. 'That's nonsense,' she protested at once, pretending to be checking some detail in the file to avoid meeting his accusing gaze. But she couldn't disguise her burning cheeks, and she prayed he'd think it was embarra.s.sment and nothing else.

'No.' Sawyer leaned towards her confidingly. 'You're a good-looking woman, Mrs Ross. He likes them slim and blonde, though it's a pity you don't have more up top, if you know what I mean.'

Kate didn't know whether to be flattered or offended but she chose the latter. 'We're not here to talk about me, Mr Sawyer,' she said tersely. 'And-and as far as your wife is concerned I'm fairly sure she left of her own free will.'

'So where is she?'

He was belligerent now, and Kate expelled a weary sigh. 'I don't know,' she conceded honestly.

'I am making some progress, but it's a slow business, I'm afraid.'