A Gown Of Spanish Lace Part 20

"But I thoughta"I mean, I never dreameda"that you wouldn't stay."

"I can't," he said again.

"But Papa and Mama will want to meet you."

"Your papa and mama? I thought they were back in Smithton."

"They are. But they'll come. Just as soon as they get the wirea"they'll come."

He shook his head stubbornly. "I don't think they'll be wantin' to see the likes of me."

"What do you mean?"

"I was the reasonaremember? I was youraprison guard."

She looked annoyed. "Can't you get past that?" she said tersely. "You brought me out. You risked your own life to help me get back to my folks. That's what they will think about and remember. That's what I remember."

He shuffled uncomfortably. She might forgive so easilya"but could her parents?

"Come on," she coaxed. "We'll talk about that later. Comea"have some sandwiches. Aunt Molly has them ready and Uncle Jake looks like he's about starved."

He was totally aware of the fact that she still had her hand on his arm.

"Sandwiches," he agreed and let her lead him toward the house.

Ariana hummed as she prepared herself for the evening meal. She didn't remember when she had felt so lighthearted. It is so wonderful to be free, she exulted inwardly. It almost made her giddy.

But it was more than that. Perhaps it was because she now knew the real difference between imprisonment and freedoma"fear and security. Perhaps it was because all the bottled tension of the past months was seeping slowly from her, making room for happiness to spill back in. Perhaps it was the loving welcome that her uncle and aunt had so willingly extended, making her feel so loved and accepted.

Perhaps it wasa"Laramie.

Ariana blushed, even though she was alone in the room.

What were her feelings concerning Laramie? She didn't know if she could answer the questiona"even in her own heart. But she did realize that her feelings had gone about a slow change during the days they had traveled to freedom together.

At first he had been her captor, and she had feared him just as she had every aspect of camp life. She was confused and lonely and terribly frightened. He had seemed civil enough. But he was the one guarding her as prisoner, and so she had remained aloof, on guard, watchful for any sign that might show his true colors.

Then he had become her liberator. She knew enough to know it had been daring on his part. Dangerous. His own father would have had no mercy had they been caught. But even in this role, Ariana had been cautious. Guarded. He was, after all, an outlaw. How could she know what strange and warped behavior might lurk beneath the seemingly controlled exterior?

But now something had changed. Ariana felt that it had something to do with the snake incident. She blushed again at the thought of it.

It wasn't that he had killed the snake. No, it was more than that. Somethinga"that she found hard to define. Hard to think through. But it was therea"between them. She saw it in his eyes as he bent over her, holding her head, wiping her face with his bandana. There was compa.s.sion reflected there. Tenderness. There was nothing evil in those eyes. Had he changed? Or was this what he had always been? Would have been, had his circ.u.mstances been different?

Ariana did not know. But in some unexplainable way she felt in her heart that they were rather on even ground. Laramie had rescued her from her captorsa"and she, in some strange and unplanned way, had rescued him from his.

And he had listened to her read from the Biblea"with such interest. Surely, surely, given a little time, he would understand its message and seek out G.o.d's forgiveness for his past. She prayed for that with an impatience and urgency she had never brought to prayer before. And she felt confident her prayer would soon be answered.

So she hummed, her heart light. Life held so much promise. She could hardly wait for what each new day would reveal.

Ariana slipped up beside Laramie as he stood leaning against the corral fence, watching the horses feed from the overflowing manger of hay.

"You look very serious," she said in a teasing tone. "Was it really that hard to sit up to a table with a checkered tablecloth?"

Laramie smiled. "I plumb enjoyed it," he admitted. "Especially the apple pie."

Ariana stood beside him and placed her hands on the top rail. They remained silent for a number of minutes, each deep in thought.

In the distance a coyote howled and the farm dog answered in protest.

"Two different worlds," mused Laramie.

Ariana looked puzzled.

"The coyote and the dog," he explained. "Same familya"yet two different worlds."

Ariana gave a slight shrug. "Guess either one of them might adjusta"if they had to."

Laramie did not answer.

Silence again. The horses continued to feed, their energetic chewing reaching the ears of the two silent people.

"Which one would find it hardest, do you think?" wondered Ariana.

Laramie looked toward the horses. Ariana wondered if he had already forgotten the conversation of a few moments before.

"The doga"or the coyote?" she reminded him.

He seemed to be thinking on it.

"Would it be hardest for the tame animal to adjust to the wilda"or the wild animal to adjust to being tamed?" she persisted.

"I couldn't say," he responded, but his voice sounded wistful.

Ariana waited before she spoke again. "Do you mind if I ask you something?"

He seemed to consider it a moment. At last he nodded. "Go ahead," he invited. "I'll answer, if I can."

"That scara"just at your hairlinea"how'd you get it? I noticed it beforea"when you took your hat off in the cavea"and when you came ina""

"Nowa"thet I can't answer," he said with good humor. "It's been there fer as long as I can remember. All I know is thet jest a bit showsa"but it reaches back further. Jest can't see ita"with all my mane. Gotta find some place to git me a haircut. Surprised yer kin even let me in the house."

Ariana laughed softly. He smiled in response.

They fell silent again.

Then Laramie picked up the thread of the conversation. "I was jest thinkin'a"'fore ya came out," he said. "You interested in keepin' thet little roan? Seems ya got on quite wella."

Even in the gathering twilight he could see her eyes darken.

"You're still planning to goaaren't you?" she said quietly.

He nodded. He hated to see the hurt look on her face. If only she understood his impossible situation.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into the soft darkness. "I was hoping you'd want to stay."

Her words tore at Laramie's soul.

"Arianaayou knowaI can't," he argued, his voice husky with his emotions. "I can't."

"Buta""

"We don't even know for sureawho I am," he continued, turning toward her.

"But we do. Your mother's Biblea""

"It might not even be my ma's. We are just goin' on Sam's say-soa"an' Sam ain't exactly one ya'd stake yer life on."

"Buta""

"I might be thetathet person named there. She might have been my maabut I've still got lots of questions. I meanasheashe jest don't seem to fitawith him. The pictureathe pretty thingsathe Bible."

"Maybe we can find the answersa"together."

He took her by the shoulders and turned her toward him.

"I'm a wanted man," he reminded her.

He could see the tears spring into her eyes and slip unbidden down her cheeks.

"That doesn't matter," she whispered intensely.

For one moment he looked deeply into her eyes. "It does to me," he answered, and his words were spoken with finality. "It matters a whole lot to me. IaI'm not a free man. I'ma"

A sigh from somewhere deep within him stopped his words. He took another deep breath and contiued.

"I'll be leavin' before sunup." The words sounded blunt. Harsh.

She looked hurta"and angry. She pushed his hands off her shoulders. "Go thena"go if you must."

She took two steps back from him and stood silently. He could see her shoulders lift and fall.

When she lifted her face the tears were falling freely. Her chin quivered. But her voice was now soft.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I had no rightaI had hoped thatayou'd wish toa"

She lifted her head and stared into his face, her eyes pleading.

"What I want has nothin'a"" he began quickly, but he couldn't finish. The unvoiced thoughts seemed to tear at his very being.

Ariana stood before him, paying no heed to the tears that wet her cheeks. "Nothing will change your mind, will it?" she managed to say barely above a whisper. "Please, pleasea"just promise me one thing," she implored. "When you've sorted it outa"pleasea"come back."

And then she was gonea"and a big part of Laramie went with her.

Chapter Nineteen.

Adjustments When Ariana opened her eyes the next morning, her first thought was of Laramie. Did he really mean to do what he had insisted on the night before? Surelya"surely he had changed his mind. He wouldn't just ride out of her life. Leaving hera"alone again.

She scrambled from the bed and crossed quickly to the window, lifting back the curtain and peering out. Her heart was racing as she looked toward the corrals. "Please, G.o.da"" she whispered, but even before she could finish her prayer her eyes fell on the little roan, his head extended over the top rail of the corral fence as he gazed off down the rutted country road toward the distant hills. He had been left alone. The buckskin and the black pack animal were gone. With them had gone Laramie.

Ariana felt like the pony. Deserted. Alone. She returned to the bed, where she threw herself down and wept.

Laramie rode all day. He wasn't sure where he was going. Wasn't sure what he would do when he got there, but he knew one thing. He had to put some miles between himself and Ariana. Had to be sure that he couldn't give in to impulsea"to turn around and head back to her. He had no right. No right to love such a girl. He wasn't sure just who he was, but he was a wanted man. He knew that. Raids. Robbery. Rustling. He didn't know what the penalty might be for his crimes. He had even shot a few men. True, one could argue self-defensea"and he'd never shot to kill. But he'd used his gun. What would that mean? Imprisonment? Hanging? He had no idea. But he was sure he'd better stay well away from any lawmena"and Ariana.

His life looked bleak. He was a man on the run.

Ariana moved woodenly through the days. She spent hours with the little roan. They had been left, but they were together. Now they needed to start to rebuild their lives.

The fact that Ariana's father and mother were coming helped her to look forward. Each day she checked off one more day on the calendar. But she was restless. Cut adrift. She couldn't slip back into the same comfortable ruta"nor did she seem to be able to slide into a new one. It was difficult.

If I could have gone back home, it would have been different, she told herself. I could have gone back to my teachingato the churchaand life could have picked up where it left off. But thisaI don't know where I fit. Don't know how I should fit. I'm floundering.

Ariana busied herself with helping her aunt Molly. She even ran errands for her uncle Jake. They were soon declaring they didn't know how they'd ever gotten on without her. Still, she was restless and agitated.

Daily her thoughts went to Laramie. Where was he? Was he all right? Was he still looking for answers? Had he found at least some of them?

"Oh, G.o.d," she prayed over and over. "May he realize that you have the important answers. That you can forgive. That you love him, too."

Wisely, she turned to her Bible. Back to the wisdom and comfort of its pages. I need to look up all those verses on trust again, she told herself. I thought I had learned that lessonabut I guess I need to start all over.

So Ariana began again to explore the Scriptures.

The day finally arrived when the incoming stage brought the Bensons. Ariana's excitement was easily matched by her parents'. It was so wonderful to be held in her father's firm embrace, to hear his whispered words of love. Her mother's tears of joy, the familiar fussing over her, made them all laugh and cry and thank G.o.d together. Then they turned to having a good visit with Jake and Molly.

They had brought all of Ariana's things. "It wouldn't be safe for you to come homea"not yet," Ariana's mother insisted, wiping away tears as she spoke.

"Who'll teach my students?" asked Ariana.

"They are looking for a new teacher for the fall," was the reply. "The children have already lost half the term."

"Why don't you teach here?" Aunt Molly asked.